RUSH (Montgomery Men Book 1) (2 page)

I COULD FEEL THE TENSION
the moment we entered the limo after the party. I had done everything he ask me to. I’d smiled when necessary, had small talk with everyone who approached me, yet it wasn’t enough. I don’t know what made me think it would be. Nothing I did was never enough. I was his puppet, yet I always managed to do or say something that displeased him.

As the driver started the engine, I looked over at Jase and the look on his face gave me chills. He was obviously waiting until we were alone so he could recap my wrongdoings of the evening and punish me for embarrassing him, even though I had no idea how I’d done so.

I tried to hide my shaking hands by fisting them at my sides, feeling the silky material of my overpriced gown rub along my wrists. My heart raced, causing me to feel slightly lightheaded.

The ride continued in silence, and the closer we got to our home, the more my body shook. I tried to keep my breathing calm, but it was pointless. I felt like I was going to be sick.

“Tonight was lovely,” I said, hoping to lighten his mood.

When Jase continued to look forward, ignoring my words, I knew it would be only a matter of time until he unleashed his anger on me. There was nothing I could do. He was past the point of reason, and I would pay the price once we were home. I prayed for a distraction. Anything that would take his mind off the things he felt I did wrong. At this point, I’d welcome a small accident that left us stranded at the side of the road.

Who prayed for things like that? Who would be so desperate for a way out that they would wish pain on others? But I was drowning fast and there was no way to save myself.

As the limo slowed to a stop just under the awning of our extravagant home, I tried to make peace one last time. “I’m sorry if I did anything wrong. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.” My voice vibrated with fear even though I did all I could to hide it.

When the door to the limo came open, my entire body jerked in response. I was rooted to my seat, afraid to move as I tried to hold back the tears burning my eyes. Crying only made things worse because Jase truly enjoyed my fear. He enjoyed provoking then enhancing it until I cowered and begged for mercy.

When Jase stepped from the limo and stood outside the open car door looking back at me with his darkened eyes, I knew stalling would only make things worse. So after taking in a shuddering breath, I slowly slid toward him. He took my hand and helped me from the car, then led me toward the door. He didn’t even glance back at the driver, desperate to get me inside and show how displeased he was with me.

“I’ll see you in the morning, Paul. Have a nice night,” he told the chauffer dismissively as he continued to drag me inside.

Once the door was shut, he pointed toward the stairs without speaking a word. Feeling trapped and bound, I walked up the long, winding staircase that led to our massive master bedroom, which was the size of most single family homes. It should have been a safe haven, but it now held so many memories of terror that its mere existence made me shiver.

When I met Jase, he was the most amazing man. He was gentle and adoring and made me feel treasured and protected. But that shifted soon after we were married and he gained control of my father’s medical and financial choices. That was what he and his father did. They swooped in, played the hero, and treated you well until they had you in their hold without any way of escaping.

Not only had he done a great job of fooling me, he fooled my father too. But even after I found out what type of man I had married, I kept that knowledge from my father. His health was far too bad to pile that type of worry on to him. In my father’s eyes, Jase protected me and I had the life he’d dreamed of me having. My father would die with that image. I wouldn’t break his heart.

I stood in the center of our bedroom on shaky legs with my back to the door, waiting for the punishment I knew was coming—a punishment for my unknown crime. Sometimes I believed Jase made up my transgressions just so he could discipline me for them. He was a sick man with a darkness inside of him that terrified me. I would never understand how anyone could instill such fear into another and feel pride in doing so.

The click of the door shutting, followed by the flip of the lock made my stomach drop.

“Turn around, Kinsley,” Jase said with a raspy edge to his voice.

It took everything inside me to face him. I had grown immune to most of the things he put me through daily, but the buildup terrified me. The ugly names he would call me while laughing because they amused him, no longer bothered me. The way he made me feel less than presentable even though I’d spent hours preparing myself before we went out, no longer made me feel inadequate.

He would compare my breast size and the curve of my ass to other women’s, tearing me down slowly, stripping away my confidence piece by piece. He would even go as far as to say that he should force me to watch another woman please him, because I could learn a few things in that category. He never once considered that our poor sex life could be related to the abuse he put me through. Having him touch me was the worst form of torture. The feel of his hands on me made my skin crawl.

“Did you enjoy dancing with him?” Jase asked as he stepped closer and traced the shoulder strap of my dress with his finger. Before I could answer, he hooked his finger beneath it and pulled it to the side, causing my dress to sag. “The feel of his hands on your skin, his body pressed firmly against yours. Did you like that? Flaunting yourself to him, daring me to stop it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I had danced with a few men that night, but only because Jase had insisted. He did this often, forcing me to do things and then punishing me for doing them. Every day of my life was a no-win situation, and there was truly no escape.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” he insisted, and from the look on his face, I knew better than to argue. “Isaac Jacobs, he’s always had an eye for the finer things in life. He’d love moving in on something of mine. Getting a piece of you.” He trailed the tip of his finger along my collarbone and the base of my neck until he reached the opposite shoulder. “Is that what you want, Kinsley? To know what it’s like to have him touch you? To taste you and move inside of you?”

Bile began to rise in my throat. All I could do was shake my head. This was getting bad fast. His villainous, condescending tone was one I knew well. It dared me to argue with him, to give him one more reason to strike. It sent chills through me and made my heart race in fear.

“I think you want Isaac.” He hooked the other strap and pulled it down, and the dress fell from my shoulders, exposing my bare breasts.

“No I don’t, Jase, I promise. I only danced with him because you asked me to,” I said, my voice shaking. I knew I was giving him what he wanted by not remaining silent, but panic mode had kicked in. I hoped by some miracle that something I said would somehow reach the man inside of him that he once was.

“So you’re saying this is my fault?” he asked.

My words had the opposite effect, just as I knew they would. They had not calmed him in the slightest. In fact, he only looked angrier now.

“No,” I said in a rush.

“I think that’s what you meant. It appears it’s time to remind my wife of how seriously I take my possessions and how I hate to share.”

My chest felt tight and my stomach coiled. Tears filled my eyes even though I had fought against them with every bit of strength I still had. But it wasn’t enough, and he knew he had broken me.

“That’s right, darling. After tonight there will be no question in your mind that you belong to me.” He began to lower the zipper beneath my left arm, and my dress slowly slid down my body and pooled at my feet. “You will always be mine, Kinsley. I hope you understand the lengths I will go to in order to assure that. Nothing will stop me from having you. No one will get in my way.”

He gripped my shoulder and turned me to face the bed as his fingers dug into my flesh. Before I had a chance to regain my balance, he placed his hand in the center of my back and shoved me forward. The front of my body landed hard against the mattress.

Jase chuckle as if this was a game. And I guess in a way it was to him. He gripped my legs and herded them apart before crawling up the bed. The moment he yanked my panties to the side and covered my body with his, I faded out and went to a place where life wasn’t so scary, just like I did every time this happened.

I would imagine I was happy and free, loved and adored, and far away from the man who destroyed me daily. In a place where I no longer feared being the woman I once one, and where both my father and I were safe. Even as my husband aggressively forced himself on me, I would try with everything inside me to imagine that better life. It was all I had to get me through these times.

Most would call me pathetic and weak for staying. But the people who said things like this didn’t know the battles I faced. Jase had done an amazing job of breaking me, and I knew I’d given up.

So yeah, I guess I was pathetic and weak.

I HAD BECOME A GHOST
. I was lost so deep in hate and sadness that I was no longer sure if I could ever heal. I feared everything because everything I did had consequences, and those consequences only led me further away from the woman I barely remembered being, who had been so happy and so full of life. Now it was hard to find the happiness in anything.

The dark bruise on my cheek would heal, but the psychological damage would forever be embedded in my soul. I pressed my tongue against the split in my lip, because the pain reminded me that I was still alive. Once again, I thought of running, but just like every time I did, I remembered what was forcing me to stay.

Arthur Palmer, my dad.

He was the most loving, caring man I had ever known. We had lost my mother to breast cancer when I was only six and fought through that loss to develop an unbreakable bond. But when I was sixteen, tragedy struck again when he was diagnosed with coronary heart disease. But he seemed to be doing fine until I was twenty-two. Right after I graduated with a degree in marketing, his health took a turn for the worse, and I blamed myself for focusing on my own life when I should have been taking better care of him.

By that point, I had already met Jase, who’d been a guest speaker in one of the business classes I took during my senior year of college. He wowed me from the start and flirted with me to the point that I had no hope of resisting. His dad was even a bigger charmer, and in the end my father and I were convinced they were the definition of perfection. They knew the best doctors and the best treatment facilities, and money was no concern for them. They took care of my father, for which I was grateful.

But in the end, they played us both.

Now I was trapped, because my father needed the money and the connections they continued to offer.

He was in a facility in the city, and Jase made sure I rarely got to visit him, but I had peace of mind knowing his health was being taking care of. And when Jase arranged for us to visit, I spent hours with him. Dad would ask about my life, and I would tell him the fairy-tale version. I always felt guilty for lying, but telling him the truth would have been even harder. I didn’t think he could handle it either.

Lately the visits with my father had grown even scarcer. Each time I mentioned wanting to see him, Jase redirected the conversation without letting me know when he would grant me another visit.

Meanwhile, I was trapped inside a home filled with people on my husband’s payroll. They each watched me as if they were waiting for me to make a wrong move so they could run and tell Jase. My cell phone was a privilege reserved only for when Jase was around. He monitored my calls, which was easy because I had no one I could truly call. I had lost all my friends after we were married, due to the fact that Jase demanded I always stay by his side, so I had little time to spend with them. Now I understood that was the way he’d wanted it. I had no car, because Jase’s driver took us everywhere, and he knew taking me anywhere without direct approval from Jase would only end in his termination, and worse things, I’m sure. So he didn’t dare cross my husband.

No one would.