Ruthless (16 page)

“Everything okay?”

I put my phone down on the counter, then smiled at Zag. “Yeah, everything's fine.”

He nodded thoughtfully, then took another pull from his beer. “It sounded kinda intense there for a minute.”

I had to laugh. “Yeah, you know how family is. One minute we're at each other's throats and the next we're exchanging
I love you
s.”

“I'll have to take your word on that.”

My heart broke at Zag's simple declaration. He didn't have that with his family. He'd never had that with his family. But I was afraid to acknowledge the importance of what he said because I was pretty sure it would spook him and ruin the tenuous sharing moment we were having.

Instead, I gave him a slight smile. “Well, my mom parlayed her guilt trip into getting me to help my brother Brent with Kaden's school shopping tomorrow. I'd better see if I can find someone to cover my shift.”

Zag jerked his head in a tight nod, then opened his mouth to say something, but apparently thought better of it as he took another pull from his beer instead. He pushed away from the fridge and was almost to the hallway when I spoke.

“So tomorrow my friends are coming over for dinner…” I wasn't sure how to phrase it. I didn't want him to be pissed that my friends were coming over to see if he was worthy. I didn't want him to think that he wasn't. Because he was. And my friends would see it. So instead I left it hovering awkwardly and unsaid.

The corners of his mouth curved in what should've been a smile, but it looked so sad. “Oh. Okay. I can hang with the boys for the night, provided you don't leave the house.”

“Wait, no. I mean they want to meet you.” I laughed at the mental image of what tomorrow and Nicole and Emily would bring. “Are you up for some friendly interrogation?”

This time Zag's smile looked more like the one I'd seen and loved before. “Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.”

“Great.” I walked over to the fridge and grabbed my own beer. “It'll be fun. You'll see.”

Zag clutched me around the waist and pulled me to his side as we left the kitchen behind. I tried not to worry about what or how much of my conversation with my mother he'd no doubt overheard. And yet I couldn't. Did he think I was ashamed of him? That I didn't think he was good enough to meet my family? My heart broke at the thought.

Of course he was good enough. He was the best, most caring man I'd dated in a long time. It wasn't that. I was worried our fledgling relationship couldn't withstand the force of my family's intense inspection. Because it would be intense. Lord knew none of my previous boyfriends had hung around long after the whole meet-the-family gig. And we already had enough to worry about with my trying to fit in with his friends. And then the whole Preacher drama. Not to mention the tension at my job. I had enough on my plate as it was.

Baby steps.

First he'd meet my friends and then eventually my family…eventually.

But I couldn't find the words to say as much to Zag. I was afraid I'd say the wrong thing and offend him. And if he wasn't keen to bring it up, neither was I. Besides, we were fine.

I sat back down on the couch with him, cuddling close to his side and trying to ignore my thundering heartbeat.

Baby steps.

We'd be fine.

Really.

A
UGUST 2

It took lots of text messages and more than one promise to a coworker, but I got the next day off to go school shopping with Brent and Kaden.

It'd been a while since I shopped with Brent. We had to have been teenagers the last time we went. And he was just as much of a butt-dragging complainer as I ever remembered. Between Brent's annoyed grunts over the prices, the other frustrated parents shopping, and Kaden's magical ability to disappear in a millisecond, I was ready to pull my hair out. Or my brother's.

Finally I'd had enough and snapped, “For crying out loud, Brent, it's not that much money. And he looks cute in them.”

“ ‘He looks cute in them' is not a reason to buy a pair of twenty-dollar jeans. He'll wear them for two months before he grows out of them.”

“Fine. I'll buy them.” I ripped the jeans from Brent and shoved them under my arm. I was pretty sure the vein in my forehead was beginning to visibly throb. “What's next?”

Brent sighed as he watched Kaden play tag in the aisle with another little boy about his age. “I can't let you do that, Jess.”

“You can and will. Besides, you're not the boss of me.” I stuck out my tongue at him in an attempt to lighten the mood.

But it didn't work; he continued to scowl back at me. “I'm his father, and it's my responsibility to provide for him.”

My heart twisted in my chest at the reminder of how much my brother had taken on with Kaden. His ex-wife was God only knew where and didn't give a shit about her kid. Hell, she couldn't remember to send a birthday card, let alone any amount of reliable child support. But I couldn't let my brother see any of the pity I was feeling. He was a strong guy who wouldn't appreciate it. Especially in public and in front of his kid.

Instead, I gave him another innocent smile. “I'm his favorite aunt. It's my duty to spoil him. I'm buying the pants and there's nothing you can do about it.”

Brent shook his head, then looked at the pile of clothes in both of our arms. “Fine. That's got to be enough, right? Please tell me we're done.”

“Hey, it's your party. If you feel like you've got enough clothes for Kaden, then call it.”

I could practically see the wheels churning in his head as he weighed his annoyance of shopping versus having to come do it again all by himself. “No, we're good. Let's go pay for this haul, then get something to eat. I'm starving. Kaden, come on!”

“When aren't you hungry?” I murmured to his back before I followed him to the register.

Brent let out another huffy annoyed grunt at the number of customers between us and the register. I had to agree. We were going to be waiting for a while.

“So what's the deal with you and Mom?” I asked to take my mind off our long wait.

“What?”

“You. Mom. Why wouldn't you let her come clothes shopping with you guys?”

Brent rolled his eyes. “Is that what she told you?”

“Only after I dragged it out of her. You really shot yourself in the foot there. If she were here, she would've taken charge and you'd've been done an hour ago.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I don't like her taking charge. Did you think of that?”

I flinched at the bite in his tone and looked away.

We stood in awkward silence for a bit, shifting from foot to foot, and had the good fortune to take a whole step forward toward the registers. This had to be the slowest-moving line in all of Reno. Of course, the suspended eternity might have had something to do with Brent's bad mood and sharp words. Even Kaden had stopped dancing in the aisles and instead stood between my brother and me, looking up at us with big eyes.

I gave him a big smile and winked. Kaden smiled back, then ducked his head.

Finally, Brent spoke. “It's just…she doesn't know where the boundaries are. She tries to parent Kaden—and me. And she keeps pushing and pushing until…Hell, I think she won't be happy until we're all living under her roof again.”

“Speak for yourself. She won't be happy with me until I'm married to some successful lawyer or doctor and knock—” I broke off when I saw we had Kaden's rapt attention. “Um, working on a family of my own.”

Brent laughed. “Yeah, I heard she tried to set you up with some lawyer she met in the grocery store.”

“Don't remind me.” I groaned. “I'd give anything to have that memory scrubbed from my brain.”

“Oh, poor you. Some rich guy had to buy you a fancy dinner. Boo-hoo.”

I hooted with laughter. “Yeah, the rich guy forgot his wallet and drank two whole bottles of wine that
I
had to pay for, then grew tentacles when he followed me to the parking lot after. What a catch. Mom is never setting me up again!”

“Wait.” Brent froze and his eyes took on a steely glow. “Tentacles? What did he try?”

My eyes darted between Brent and Kaden's wide-eyed and interested stare. Afraid of just how much he understood of our conversation, I shrugged. “In the end I had help, and it was nothing my help couldn't handle.”

Brent grunted, but still watched me intently as if he were weighing the truth of my statement.

I sighed and took another half step forward while I desperately wished the line in front of us would disappear. At least then Brent would be distracted and not debating whether to press me for more information. God only knew what he'd do if he heard the truth. I remembered what he did to Paul McCormack after the junior prom. We really didn't need a repeat of
that
incident.

Brent continued to watch me while he shuffled forward as the line advanced. “At least it got Mom off your back, right? She can't be eager to play matchmaker after her last attempt.”

“Yeah, well, I didn't exactly tell her…”

“What? Why not? You have the perfect excuse to get her to stop. She set you up with—” Brent broke off and looked over to where Kaden was now playing hopscotch on the tile floor a few feet away. “A scumbag like that and you don't tell her?”

“It was…she'd feel horrible and cry. And then I'd cry and it would be a whole thing. Besides, it wasn't all bad—I met a pretty great guy in the end.” I don't know why I said that last bit. I didn't mean to—it just kind of slipped out. And Brent immediately grabbed hold of it.

“Great guy? Who?”

“I—he—it's no one you know. But he's great. He stepped in when Charlie got all handsy and made sure I was all right.”

“Well, I'm glad.” Brent took another step forward. Now there were only two people between us and the register. “So when do I get to meet him?”

“Why does everyone say that?” I looked down, around, anywhere but at my brother. Spying Kaden racing through the clothing racks, I took the easy way out. “Kaden! Hey, buddy, come here a minute.”

“Wuss.”

“What?” I gave Brent a wide-eyed, innocent look, then turned to my nephew. “Hey, Kaden, have you seen this game?” I pulled out my smartphone, loaded a game, and passed it to him. Within seconds he was engrossed in connecting the dots and not racing through the store like a wild child anymore. I ruffled my hand through his hair. He really was cute when he stood still enough that I could actually see his face. Plus he made a convenient chaperone to Brent's probing questions.

“So when do I get to meet him?”

“Um…”

“What's the big deal? It's not like he's a felon or something, right?”

I froze. Was he? I hadn't even thought of that. Zag and his brothers had their own sense of right and wrong, but was he a felon? Wasn't a spiderweb tattoo a sign of serving time? I frantically tried to remember if I'd seen one on his body. Or was it a clock tattoo?

“Wait, you're hesitating. You have to think about it? Who the hell is this guy?”

“Oh, look, we're next.”

Brent clenched his jaw and nodded at the woman behind us. “You can go ahead of us, ma'am. We need a minute.”

I swore silently as the woman stepped past us and took our spot at the next available cashier.

“He's a fucking felon?”

Heads swiveled in our direction. Even Kaden looked up from his game and stared at his dad.

“No,” I whispered to my brother. “At least I don't think so.”

“Don't think so? How is that even a question? What kinda guy are you seeing?”

“The kind of guy who cares about me. Someone who gives a damn that everything is okay in my life. I'm just…not
that
sure about his past.”

Brent's jaw flexed as he thought over what I said. Finally, he jerked his head in a tight nod. “Fine. But I want to meet him.”

God save me from my well-intentioned family. I could just imagine how that meeting would go down. “Get in line. He's meeting my friends tonight. You and Mom will have to wait.”

“Damn, you're not putting me in the same category with Mom, are you?”

“When you're giving me the third degree about the guy in my life—yeah. Come on, we're up.” I nodded at the cashier impatiently waving her hand.

“Fine. But you're not off the hook.”

“Whatever. Let's go pay for Kaden's loot and get some lunch. I'm starving.”

A
UGUST 15

The stars had finally aligned: My girlfriends were coming over for the first face-to-face meeting with Zag. To say I was nervous was an understatement.

Currently, I was pacing around my living room, not even bothering to hide my anxiety. What if they didn't get along with Zag? I was really starting to fall for my big, scary biker, but at the same time I valued what my friends had to say. Emily would wait until tomorrow to tell me what she thought about him, or at least until he was out of the room, but Nicole…Nicole was a bit of a loose cannon. I really should've had that talk with her. What the hell was she going to say to Zag? I loved her like a sister, but the girl didn't have a verbal filter. Like the time she told her boss his comb-over was lopsided. As if he hadn't been frantically sweeping it over when he thought no one was looking.

Needless to say, I was dreading the coming evening.

“Relax, princess.” Zag threw an arm around my chest and pulled me in for a backward hug with my back to his front. He nuzzled my neck, his goatee tickling my sensitive skin. “I promise I won't scare them too much.”

I had to laugh, that was so comforting. “I'm not worried about you. At least not the way you think. I just want my friends to like you. I've known them since grade school. They're like sisters to me, you know? And given everything that's happened with us…” I trailed off, unable to finish the thought.

“You worry too much. It'll be fine.” He continued to nuzzle me until I couldn't even remember my friends' names. His teeth rasped up my neck leaving a trail of goose bumps in his wake. Then he bit down on my earlobe, and I shivered.

The doorbell rang, interrupting our impromptu cuddle session.

Zag pulled away and gave me a gentle push toward the door. “Besides, they're here, so there's no point in worrying about it now. What's gonna happen will happen.”

“That's what I'm afraid of,” I muttered on my way to the door. After taking a deep breath, I pulled the door open.

“Hey, Jess.” Emily stepped into the living room.

I craned my neck to look past her, but no one else lurked on the doorstep. I couldn't hold back my sigh of relief. I needed a few more minutes to brace myself for Nicole's arrival.

Emily took one look at my face and enveloped me into a huge hug. “It'll be okay. Calm down!”

I laughed over the top of her blond cloud of hair. I must've looked like I needed another hug. I had to calm down. Nicole wasn't the big bad I was making her out to be in my mind—although throughout our friendship she'd made a habit of giving me shit when she met my boyfriends. It was her way of showing affection. She needled because she cared. Much like my brothers did. So if we could get through tonight, then the meeting-the-family visit would be so much easier.

Although that didn't account for my mom and dad. I didn't even want to think about that. Tonight would be a breeze compared to that theoretical meeting.

Emily pulled back and gave me a smile. I returned it and relaxed slightly. Emily's eyes went to something over my shoulder, and I remembered my hosting duties and the lurking biker behind me.

“Sorry. Emily, this is Zag. Zag, Emily.”

Em smiled. “We've met.”

“What? When?” I wracked my brain, trying to remember.

“The morning after? You guys were making out in the kitchen when I let myself in…”

I flushed. “Right. I remember now.” Apparently, Nicole wasn't the only friend I had to keep my eye on tonight.

Zag gave a deep chuckle. “I remember now. Good times.”

I closed my eyes and muttered, “Lord, take me now.”

“What? It's not like he was naked or anything.” Emily paused and took a long and blatant perusal of Zag's body. “Not that I would've minded if he had been.”

My face heated with a flush even as Zag's deep laughter filled the living room.

I was wrong—I should've been more worried about Emily embarrassing me, too.

Thankfully, I was saved by the doorbell ringing. I don't think I'd ever been so excited to see Nic in my life.

Until I opened the door to her scowling face.

“Hey, Jess. Where's the liquor? I need a drink.” She gave me a distracted half smile that was more frown than smile before quickly making her way to the kitchen, where she ripped open the fridge and rustled around for a beer.

I threw a look over my shoulder at Emily, then followed Nic to the kitchen. “What's going on?”

“My shitty asshole of a boss.” She leaned against the counter and twisted the top off her beer. “He had the fucking audacity to claim total credit for my project and then report me to HR when I called him on his bullshit during our month-end meeting.”

I exchanged looks with Emily. I had a feeling that “calling him on it” hadn't been as innocent as Nic made it sound. Nicole chugged her beer, then gave us a bitter smile. “But the joke's on him. I've got my laptop and computer logs to prove the hours I put into the project. The bastard's going down Monday when we're in that HR office.”

“Nic!” I waved a hand in front of her.

She looked up from her beer and gave me an irritated look. “What?”

“What? What! Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously. I had a shitty day and yet I'm here. What do you want from me?”

I turned to Emily and shrugged. “I just—I don't—I can't…”

Emily looked between us and chewed on her bottom lip. I felt bad dragging her into it. She really hated conflict.

Finally, I just shook my head. “You know what, Nicole?”

She took another bracing pull on the longneck, then swiveled and dumped her empty in the sink. “No, what?”

“I don't think—”

“We've met,” Zag cut me off. “I'm Zag, by the way.”

“Hey.” Nicole jerked her head in greeting, rolled her eyes at me, then went to the fridge for a second beer.

“That's it?” He scowled.

My anger over Nicole's selfishness drained away as a new concern overtook me. I had a whole other situation to worry about—two hotheads in one kitchen. I hoped there wouldn't be too much damage. “Zag, I don't think tonight's a good—”

“Jessica has been stressing out about tonight. Making an awesome dinner—which, judging by the smell, is burning—having panic attacks about how you and me are gonna get along, and you can't even pretend to be interested? Instead, you flounce in here with your fucking drama and piss all over your host. What kinda fucking friend are you? So what if your boss is a douche? Get in fucking line. Maybe you should get your head out of your ass and look around. This night's not about you and your silly fucking drama.”

That had to be the longest thing I'd ever heard him say. My usually quiet guy had finally opened up, and it was to leap to my defense. It was strangely sweet, and to be honest he'd said a lot of stuff that I'd thought once or twice during my friendship with Nicole. She was kind of selfish. Everything always had to be about her. Sometimes it was hard to remember why we were still best friends.

And then his burning dinner comment sunk in. I raced to the oven to see if I could salvage the meal.

I pulled the crispy husk of a roast out of the oven and dropped it on the stovetop with a thunk. “Son of a bitch!”

“Jess, I'm sorry. I just…work was…and Dale…” Nicole trailed off with a sigh. “I was in a shitty mood and needed to vent.”

I looked up from my angry contemplation of dinner and gave Nicole a long look. “You know what? ‘I'm sorry' just isn't going to cut it with me anymore. Things have got to change.”

Emily rushed between us and held up a placating hand. “You know, I don't think tonight's the best night to do this. Everyone's tempers are up and—”

“No,” I cut in. “With all due respect, Em. But I agree with Zag.”

“There's a shocker,” Nicole muttered into her longneck beer.

“What was that?” I glared at her.

Nicole tilted her head and met my glare head-on. “You lose yourself in every relationship you're in. Everything is ‘Randy said this' or ‘Toby said that.' Of course you agree with Zag. You agree with all your boyfriends. You don't know how not to.”

I couldn't hold back my bitter laughter. “You don't know jack shit about my relationship with Zag.”

“And that's my fault?”

“Yeah, it kinda is.”

Emily tried to wade in again. “I think this might be getting a little out of hand here. Things might be said that will be hard to take back later and—”

“No.” Nicole cut her off. “Jessica here has finally found her voice, and she obviously has a load to get off her chest. Come on, Jess. Tell me how I've been a shitty friend.”

“What do you want me to say? You are a bad friend. Everything has to be about you. In case you forgot, tonight was supposed to be about you guys meeting Zag.” Oh shit, Zag. In all our little drama, I'd forgotten about him. I darted a look over my shoulder and found him sprawled out on a kitchen chair looking for all the world like he was enjoying the show.

I gave him an apologetic smile, but he waved me on like it wasn't a big thing, then crossed his arms across his chest.

I turned back to Nicole. “I get that I had my part in all this. I should've called you guys more these past couple months, and I kind of lost myself in what was going on in my life, but it's not all on me. There was a reason I couldn't call you. And this whole display today just underlined it for me. Shit has got to change if you want to stay in my life.”

I couldn't remember the last time I'd stood up for myself. But it felt good. And high time I called Nicole on her bullshit.

“I, um, wow.” Nicole seemed to have a hard time deciding what to say. “I…you're right. I gotta do better.”

I nodded. “Me too.” Honestly, I felt a little deflated that she'd agreed so quickly. I was geared up for a fight, dammit.

“Well, I'll say this for your new guy,” Emily cut in once more. “He's certainly improved your cursing skills.”

I had to laugh at that, which I think was what Emily was hoping for—something to loosen the tension in the room. “I just wish I'd remembered to set the damn oven timer. Dinner's ruined.”

Zag cleared his throat and pulled his cell out of his back pocket. “I'll call for pizza. But none of you better be vegetarians. I'm not wasting any money on meatless pizzas.” He walked to the far side of the kitchen while he spoke into the phone.

Emily grinned. “PS, how amazing was it that he stood up for you like that? But does he pull that mean biker face with you?”

I really didn't want to answer that question. “Um, well…”

“Because it was ridiculously hot. Both physically and what with the way he was standing up for you. I just…wow.” Emily pantomimed fanning herself.

I couldn't help the shit-eating grin that swept across my face. “Oh, if you guys only knew.”

“Oh, we will,” Nicole said. “I want details. You've been holding back for way too long.”

I just laughed. I'd never been the detail-sharing type. “Does this mean he gets the girlfriend stamp of approval?”

“Anyone who would go to bat for you like that automatically does in my book.” Nicole raised her beer bottle in a salute.

“Hell yes.” Emily wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. “All I wanna know is: Does he have equally hot friends you can introduce us to?”

The three of us burst into laughter. Tonight hadn't gone at all like I'd thought, but now I knew it'd be okay. My girls trusted my judgment—for the most part—and Zag was an amazing, one-of-a-kind guy.

Our laughter was slowly dying down when Zag came back. “What's so funny? What did I miss?”

“Emily wants to meet some of your hot friends.”

Zag shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “I dunno. You two might be too much trouble for my crew.”