Authors: Cheryl Douglas
Sierra reached up to put her arms around him. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. What can we do to help? Do you need Trey to go to the hospital with you?”
He shook his head as he rubbed her back, trying to formulate a plan in his mind. “No, it’s okay. I need to fly to Florida, St. Petersburg.” He pulled away. “I should call the airport.”
She grabbed his hand. “I’ll make the arrangements. Leave your car here. You can take the limo. Do you need to go home and pack a suitcase?”
He shook his head, fighting back the tears. He never expected to feel this kind of emotion at the end of his father’s life. It just reinforced the fact that he needed to be there, to tell his father he loved him, something he’d never said before. “I don’t think I have time for that. I’ll just buy whatever I need when I get there.”
Sierra rubbed his shoulder. “Luc, I don’t think you should go alone. Maybe...”
“No, I’ll be okay. I need to do this alone, Sierra.” He brushed a kiss across her cheek. “Thanks for your concern. Tell Trey I’ll call him later, okay?”
He forced himself to put one foot in front of the other. He knew this short trip was going to feel like the longest of his life.
Marisa was grateful Sierra thought to book two tickets to Florida. She was right, Luc couldn’t face this alone. She made her way across the busy terminal, pulling both his carry-on and her own behind her.
She scanned the waiting area and saw Luc immediately. He was sitting alone, in the middle of a long line of chairs facing the window, watching the aircrafts prepare for take-off.
She left their luggage at the end of the aisle and slid into a chair next to him, taking his hand in hers without saying a word.
He looked up, seeming surprised. “What are you doing here?”
She looked out the window. “Sierra told me what happened. I couldn’t let you go through this alone, Luc.”
He drew her into his arms, burying his face in her neck. “Thank you, sweetheart.”
She pulled back to look at him. Her heart broke seeing the unshed tears in his eyes. “Can I get you anything?”
“Sierra texted me the flight information; I was just going to pick up my boarding pass.”
She passed it to him. “Already taken care of; anything else you need?”
“Just you,” he whispered.
She shifted in her seat so she was leaning against his chest.
He wrapped his arms around her. “I thought I could do this alone, but I’m glad you came.”
“I stopped by your house and picked up an overnight bag. Trey had an extra key. I hope you don’t mind?” she asked, settling her hand on his leg.
“Don’t you still have your key?”
“I gave it to Trey after we broke up. I asked him to give it back to you. I guess he never did?”
“No, maybe because he knew I was already a wreck about losing you.” He kissed her neck. “I’m sorry about this morning. I should have...”
“Ssh, we don’t have to talk about that now.” She squeezed his leg. “Talk to me about your father, Luc. I’ve known you for years, and I’ve never even met the man.” She knew it was important for him to come to terms with his feelings before he faced his father for the last time.
He sighed, wrapping a strand of her hair around his finger. “You know he was a career politician.” He chuckled. “He had a reputation for being a real hard ass.”
She smiled, stilling the hand that stroked through her hair. “Like father, like son, huh?”
“That’s what scares me.”
She turned to face him, understanding that he was about to reveal something important. “How so?”
“My dad was self-centered, egotistical, a real tyrant when it came to getting what he wanted. His constituents loved him, his family, not so much.”
“I can’t believe you didn’t love your father, Luc. Every little boy looks up to his father, right?” She tilted her head back to look at him, but he was staring out the window.
“I did love him, especially when I was really young. I was proud of him. Hell, I wanted to be just like him when I grew up.”
“And are you?”
Luc shook his head. “Oh yeah, I’m a lot like him. I used to resent that, but I’m beginning to realize that I wouldn’t be the success I am today if not for the lessons he taught me.”
She smiled, feeling grateful that he was finally able to let his guard down and talk to her in a way he never had before. “What kind of lessons did he teach you?”
He rested his chin on the top of her head. “He taught me to go after something I want with everything I’ve got and never give up.”
She laced her fingers through his. “That sounds like an important lesson.”
“Yeah, and he also taught me that no obstacle is insurmountable, no dream too big to achieve.” Luc laughed. “I remember we used to go to the odd baseball game together, and I’d be in awe of all those famous baseball players. He told me the only things separating the pros from the players on the farm team were their drive and determination. I remembered that, and I applied it to my own business.”
“He must be proud of the success you’ve achieved.”
Luc shrugged. “I don’t know. If he is, he’s never said so. Of course, I guess I never told him I was proud of him either. But I was. I didn’t admire the kind of husband and father he was, but I still admired the man he was.” He paused. “Is… I admire the man he is.”
She turned into his arms. “It’s not too late to tell him how you feel, Luc.”
“I pray to God you’re right.”
Luc could not have been more shocked when he opened the door to his father’s hospital room. The man lying in the bed was a stranger to him. The formidable man he’d known his entire life was replaced by a weak and frail likeness of his father, clinging to life with the help of machines.
Luc didn’t realize he’d taken a step back, subconsciously trying to retreat, until he felt Marisa’s hand on his back, coaxing him forward. He cleared his throat, hoping to draw his father’s attention. Luc waited for some response, but instead heard only the painful sound of labored breathing reverberating off the sterile walls.
“I’ll give you two some privacy,” Marisa whispered.
He reached out to grab her hand, desperate to cling to her vitality in the face of his father’s mortality. “No, stay, please.”
She smiled and squeezed his hand. “Sure, whatever you need.” She nodded to a pair of chairs lining the wall. “Why don’t you pull up a chair? Let your father know you’re here for him.”
He looked at the non-descript, upholstered armchair and wondered how many people sat in that same chair as they watched their loved ones slip away. He cringed. He wasn’t ready to do this. He didn’t know if he would ever be ready to say good-bye to his iconic father.
When he didn’t move, Marisa seized the chair and positioned it next to the hospital bed. “Sit down,” she whispered.
Nathan Spencer stirred, struggling to open his eyes.
Luc quickly claimed the chair beside him. “Hey, Dad, it’s me, Luc. I just got here.” He reached out to grab his father’s hand and was taken aback by the feel of bone protruding beneath the thin layer of transparent skin. His father had lost so much weight since he last saw him. How long had it been? Almost two years. Two years too long.
“Luc?” he whispered. “Is that you, son?”
Luc swallowed the lump in his throat. “Yeah, it’s me, Dad. You okay? Can I get you anything?”
He tried to shake his head. “I’m okay; it’s only a... matter... of time now.”
Luc didn’t know how to respond, so he said nothing. Despite the fact that he spent his life building a career as a politician, his father didn’t believe in empty promises, so Luc wouldn’t insult his intelligence now by pretending that he was going to be fine when they both knew the odds were stacked against him.
His father finally managed to pry his eyes open. He glanced at Marisa. “Friend of yours?”
“Yeah, Dad, this is Marisa Turner, Trey’s sister.” He turned to Marisa. “She and I are...”
His father interrupted. “You always did have...impeccable taste...in women, boy.”
Marisa smiled and stepped forward to grasp his free hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Spencer. Luc has told me so much about you.”
He closed his eyes and grimaced, as though he were struggling to ease some unseen pain. “All bad, I’m sure.”
His father squeezed his hand, but Luc felt as though he was squeezing his heart. It hurt more than he thought it would to know the man who had raised him to be successful was facing his short-comings on his death bed, feeling like a failure himself.
“That’s not true, Dad,” Luc whispered, trying to find his voice. “I was just telling Marisa that I wouldn’t have achieved the success I have had it not been for you.”
A tear slid down Nathan’s wrinkled cheek. “If I taught you anything, it was... how to be a... poor excuse for a father.”
Luc felt his heart stutter. How could his father know about his child? He wasn’t even on speaking terms with his parents while he was living with Shana. “What are you talking about, Dad?”
He closed his eyes, drawing a labored breath. “I know, son.”
Luc’s eyes shot to Marisa, who was clearly trying to understand the meaning behind his father’s ominous statement. “Uh, Marisa, could you give us a minute?” He knew his sudden request for privacy would be met with a barrage of questions later, but he couldn’t risk having Marisa find out about his daughter this way.
Marisa hesitated, her gaze travelling from Luc to his father. “Uh sure, I’ll just wait outside.”
Nathan raised his hand mere inches off the bed. “If I don’t... see you again...it was nice...to meet you.”
Marisa blinked back the tears flooding her eyes. “It was nice to meet you too, sir.” She looked at Luc, a frown drawing a line between her eyebrows. “Let me know if you need me, Luc.”
He shook his head. “Thanks.”
“Marisa?” Nathan said.
She turned toward him. “Yes, sir?”
He tried to smile. “Take good...care of my...boy for me, will you?”
Marisa walked around the bed to rest her hands on Luc’s shoulders. “Mr. Spencer, your son can take care of himself.” She winked at the old man. “I suspect that’s a trait he got from you?” Her hand eased down Luc’s arm, resting on his bicep. “He’s the strongest, most determined man I’ve ever met, in fact. You should be very proud of him.”
Nathan looked his son in the eye. “He’ll never...know...how proud I am.”
Luc reached up to grasp Marisa’s hand. He held it against his cheek, kissing her palm. “Thank you.” He knew she was trying to bridge the gap between father and son, making certain they didn’t leave anything left unsaid.
“I’ll let you two talk now.” She reached over to kiss Nathan’s weathered cheek. “I just wanted to thank you for raising such an amazing son, Mr. Spencer. I can’t imagine my life without him.”
Nathan just shook his head, fighting back tears as he watched Marisa close the door behind her.
“Some...woman you’ve...got there, son. Don’t...let her get away,” he whispered.
Luc could tell his father was having more trouble communicating, and he was terrified their window of opportunity was closing. “About that comment you made earlier, Dad...”
“Sssh, there are...things I need to say...and I need you to...listen.”
Luc knew how much it cost his father to utter the words, so he remained quiet and waited for him to continue.
“I’m sorry, Luc.” He drew a sharp breath and rested his hand on his chest. “I should have...been a better father to you.” He opened his eyes to look at Luc. “I should...have been there...for you when you...needed me.”
Luc gripped his hand, feeling the weight of regret claiming the empty space between them. “You were there for all the important events, Dad. You were there for my graduation ceremonies, for...”
“If that were... true...you would have told...me I had a granddaughter.”
Luc felt the steady thump of his heart beating double time against his chest. “How did you know?”
“She reached out...to me a few...years ago.” Another tear slipped down his cheek. “She’s a beautiful... girl, son. You’d be... so proud of her. I know... I am.”
Luc could scarcely believe his father had built a relationship with the daughter who had remained a stranger to him. The fact that she reached out to her grandfather instead of him spoke volumes. “I can’t believe this.” Luc dropped his head.
His father squeezed his hand. “It’s not too late...for you to get...to know...your little girl, son.”
He stared at his father, trying to process his words. His father couldn’t go back and un-do the mistakes he’d made, but he still had time to atone for his sins. Maybe he could repair some of the damage he’d done before he found himself in his father’s position, lying on his death bed trying to come to terms with a lifetime of regrets because he was never the kind of father he wished he was.
“Maybe you’re right, Dad. I sure would like to try.”
“Another thing...son. Don’t be the...kind of husband...I was.”
Luc closed his eyes against the onslaught of painful memories. He saw his mother lying in a fetal position on the floor when his father finally walked out the door for the last time. He suspected his dad wasn’t the only one with regrets.
“You were building your career, Dad. I didn’t understand at the time, but I do now. I’ve given my life to my career, so I know how all-consuming it can be when you love what you do.”
Nathan gripped the sheet. “It’s too late...for me. It’s...not too late...for you.” He lifted a finger to point at the closed door. “That girl...loves you.”
Luc looked at the closed door, thinking about the woman on the other side. She sat out there, waiting to support him through one of the most difficult times in his life, despite the fact that he’d done nothing to deserve her devotion. He needed to make some changes in his life, starting with his daughter and the woman he loved.
“I love her too, Dad.”
“You gonna... marry her?”
Luc smiled. “I’ve asked her, but I have a feeling I may have to work a little harder to get her to say yes.”