Ryker (19 page)

“Can I talk to you a minute?” His voice was low and sounded worried.

“About what?”

“Please let me in, and I’ll tell you.” He leaned on the door frame. His eyes made me weak.

“Fine, just make it quick. I have company.” I stepped aside and let him in.

Max stood next to me and in front of Erik. “Thought you left.”

“Well, I didn’t,” Ryker said. “Hey, Tyf, sorry to barge in. I needed to talk to Faith a minute.”

Erik got off the couch. “Faith, I’m gonna to get going.”

I followed him back to the door. As softly as I could, I said, “I’m sorry, Erik. I think you’re a really good guy, and I had a lot of fun tonight, but…” I glanced back at Ryker, who was in the spot Erik had just vacated.

“Don’t worry about it. I understand. I’d be blind if I didn’t.” He leaned in and kissed my cheek. “Friends?”

I smiled. “Friends.”

The door closed, and I gathered my nerves.

Tyf grabbed Max’s hand. “You’re staying, right?”

Max smirked. “You know it.” Tyf bit her bottom lip, and they went to her room. Max turned to me. “Love you, Faith.”

“Love you too, Max.”

They walked into Tyf’s room and shut the door.
Alone with Ryker.
Why was he here?

I guess it was time to find out. “So what did you want to talk about?”

“Sit with me. Please.” He motioned for me to sit next to him on the couch.

Against my better judgment, I did. His hand went to mine, but I pulled away and looked at him. “What do you want? Please don’t say that you’re sorry. I’m so tired of hearing those words from you. When I was little, my mom would tell me that when you said you were sorry, it meant you wouldn’t do it again.” I lowered my eyes. “You always do it again.”

“You’re right, I do. That isn’t what I wanted to tell you.” He cleared his throat. “Can you look at me?”

I did. I wanted to curl up on his lap, but I stayed where I was.

He took a deep breath, and when he let it out, his expression changed. “He was ten, and I was sixteen. My mom and her husband went to a winery for the day, and my job was to watch him. We went to the lake because he wanted to fish and play soccer on the beach. When I got there, some friends of mine from school were there, including a senior girl. I thought it would be cool to be with an older chick, so I told Jimmy to wait for me, and I’d be right back.”

His eyes became glassy. I felt his pain in my heart, and I couldn’t do anything but let him continue.

“She and I started making out. One thing led to another, and we walked away to the pier. I wasn’t far from him, but I was far enough that he didn’t see me anymore. I didn’t think of him. I thought of myself and the fact that I was going to screw around with this hot senior. We went under the pier and were gone for about fifteen minutes.” He chuckled. “Fifteen fucking minutes. We walked back to where I had left Jimmy, and he was gone. The kids she came with weren’t there either.

“At first I thought he went with them, then something made me turn to the water, and I saw his soccer ball in the water. The fear I felt was so immense, and I panicked. I rushed to the water and saw him sinking in a wave. It wasn’t quite summer yet, so the water was like ice. I got to him and grabbed his jacket, and he didn’t move. I called his name, and he didn’t answer me. His lips were so blue they were almost purple.”

His breath hitched, making tears stream down my cheeks. I put my hand on his. He laced our fingers together, brought my hand to his lips, and pressed them against it. He didn’t kiss my hand; he just rested his lips there.

“I picked him up and laid him on the beach. I took my hoodie off and laid it on him. I put my ear on his chest and didn’t hear anything. No pulse. No breath. No response. I grabbed my phone and called 9-1-1 and told the operator to send me help. I’d learned how to do CPR in health class, but that was it. She wanted to stay on the phone, but I needed my hands, so I tossed my phone and tried to revive him. I don’t know how long it was before the paramedics came and took over. I saw them move my jacket and cover him with a silver blanket. While they took off his shirt and hooked a machine up to him, I just stood there, terrified. They shocked him more than once, and then one of the guys shook his head and told me he was sorry. They pulled the silver blanket up over his face and called their dispatcher.”

I’d never seen Ryker cry like that before. The only thing I knew to do was to hold him, so I did. His head was on my shoulder, and his body was trembling, just like the night at the lake house. I put my hands on his cheeks and wiped his face with my hand. His eyes were so sad. I didn’t want him to relive any more of it. I wasn’t even sure why he was telling me.

“You don’t need to tell me anymore.”

He nodded. “Yeah I do. I want to.” He tried to regain his composure. “I had to call my mom and tell her Jimmy was gone. I was so scared. I heard sirens, and the sheriff was there. Apparently they come when an ambulance has been called to an emergency. My phone was somewhere in the sand, and I didn’t have time to look for it. The sheriff interviewed me as I watched them put Jimmy’s body on a stretcher and carry him into the back of the ambulance. I didn’t know where they were taking him, and that scared the shit out of me. The cop told me to ride with him because I needed to be checked out too after going into the water. I told him I was fine, but I guess it was a rule or something. He asked for my mom’s number, and he made the call I didn’t want to make. I heard my mom screaming through the phone while I sat in the back of the car, sobbing.”

He let go of me and walked around the room. “At the hospital, they gave me some scrubs because my clothes were soaked. A social worker came into my room with the cop who drove me there. He handed me Jimmy’s belongings, which I held tight, and told me my mom was on her way. My mom burst in the room and screamed at me. I didn’t yell back. I just told her I was sorry. She said she was sorry she had to deal with me and asked the cop if they were pressing charges.”

“Your mom wanted charges pressed against you?” I couldn’t believe that.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. When he said it was up to the courts, she became hysterical. She looked at me and said, ‘I don’t have any more children.’ She turned to the social worker and said, ‘Take him. He’s all yours.’ That’s the day I lost my family. I didn’t go to the funeral because I wasn’t allowed. I went with the social worker and lived in a place for troubled teens until the judge dismissed my case. By that time, I was seventeen. Then I lived in foster homes, moved here, and stayed.”

I knew my mouth was open because I could taste my tears. “I’m so sorry, Ryker.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

“You’re not a killer. It was an accident. You made a mistake, but you were a kid. You have to understand that.”

He nodded and wiped his face with the back of his hand. “That’s what the judge said. He gave me a lecture on neglect and responsibility, then said it wasn’t all my fault because I was also a minor. But I was the minor who should have known better.”

“I know I can’t change things, but I’m here if you need me.” I meant that. At that moment, I saw his damaged heart, not the hard one he was used to displaying.

He kneeled in front of me and took my hands. “When I saw you with Erik tonight, I felt like I was the one drowning. So I thought maybe I’d try to get you out of my head.”

“With Tori?”

“Yeah, but nothing happened- not tonight or the other night when you saw us I don’t want her.”

My voice shook as I said, “What do you want?”

“You. I want you.”

“Why?”

His eyes met mine. “Because I need you.”

More tears came. “You need me?”

“Yeah. I’ve made so many mistakes throughout my life, and I don’t want to make another one by letting you go. The thought of you with someone else terrifies me, but so does the thought of you being with me.”

I wanted to tell him I loved him and there would never be anyone else for me, but I didn’t totally trust him. Even though he’d just poured his heart out to me, I didn’t believe he wouldn’t leave me again. “Is that the only reason? You don’t want me with anyone else?”

“No, that isn’t the only reason. Something happened to me on Saturday night.”

“Yeah, me too.” Sarcasm and truth poured out in one sentence.

His thumbs rubbed the back of my hand. “I know. I didn’t use you. Please know I would never use you. I needed you then, and I need you now; I think I always will.”

“You left me.”

“I’m sorry.”

I half smiled. “I know.”

He sat next to me. The sofa dipped, and I leaned into him.

His hand went to the back of my head as he held it against him. “Be mine, Faith.”

My eyes scrunched together as I nodded.

He laid back on the couch cushions and pulled me with him. “Can I hold you?”

I smiled. “Yes.”

“And tomorrow night?” His voice was deep, sexy, and raspy from crying. His strong arms wrapped around me.

“Yes.”

My body slid up his, making my skin tingle. Our lips met, and his hands threaded through my hair. He deepened the kiss, and my senses were on full alert. I wanted him so badly I felt it between my legs.

“I’m not going to make love to you tonight,” he said. “I’m just going to hold you. Is that okay?”

“Yeah. I’d like that.” I laid my head on his chest and fell asleep to the beat of the heart that gave mine reason to keep going.

Snoring… that’s what I woke to. My legs were intertwined with his, and I felt as if I was being pinned in a wrestling match. I opened my eyes to see the most gorgeous man. I drank in his features: chiseled chin, perfect nose, soft lips, and morning scruff that I was tempted to rake my teeth over. I sighed.

His right eye opened, and he smiled at me. “I like when you look at me like that.”

I felt my face redden, and I smacked his chest. “How long have you been awake?”

“Long enough to see you gawking at me.”

I gasped. “I don’t gawk! Take that back!”

“No.” He chuckled.

“You snore!”

“You’re gorgeous.”

“You’re forgiven.”

I tipped my face toward him and kissed him. He rolled me onto my back, and his tongue did things to my mouth that I felt everywhere on my body. His hand roamed down my side to the back of my knee, and he pulled it up, making me wrap my leg around him. His hand went under my shirt and covered my breast. I cursed myself for not taking off my bra before I fell asleep. I felt him growing hard on my hip.

“Do you know how bad I want you right now?” His hips shifted, and he was square between my legs. He rubbed against me, and I tightened my leg at his waist.

“As badly as I want you?” I wanted him so badly it was making me crazy. I wanted to feel him inside me again. After everything he told me last night, I felt so close to him. My heart was full, and I was happy.

The pillow I was laying on was pulled out from under my head and tossed on the floor. He bent forward and ran his tongue from the indentation under my throat to my chin. My head tipped back, and I lifted my hips.

“I’ll get to that, but for right now, I’m going to lick each part of you until you orgasm like you did in your dream,” he said.

Holy shit! If he kept talking like that, that was all it would take. “Ryker.”

His tongue went around my ear. “Yeah? Tell me what you want.”

I lifted my hips higher, and his hand went between my legs.
Damn these clothes!
He unbuttoned the denim, making me moan as his hand slipped inside. I yelped when he glided one finger then two inside me. He moved them in and out while sucking on the pulse point throbbing on my neck.

“Oh my God Ryker… please…” I found my release and grabbed his ass.

He moved his hand from my jeans. His eyes were full of lust. “I need to get you naked… now.”

“My bedroom.” I was still seeing stars, and I wasn’t sure if my legs would support me. They felt shaky, and I was only lying down.

I let out a breath, and Ryker slid off me so his back was against the back of the couch. He leaned down and consumed my mouth. We kissed as if we would never kiss again. I closed my eyes tighter so I could remember it forever.

“Ahem.” Max cleared his throat.

I immediately stopped kissing Ryker, and he groaned. I brought my hand up to cover my face. Ryker laughed, and I peeked through my fingers.

“So I see we had a slumber party.” Max chuckled. “Faith, you can uncover your face. I know it’s you.”

Ryker sat up to straddle my legs. His hair was a mess, and he looked hotter than ever. I couldn’t help the smile that crept across my face.

“Dude… we’ve been found out.” Ryker laughed.

After I adjusted my shirt, I sat up and looked at Max, who didn’t look displeased. He actually looked happy, which surprised me.

“Don’t call me Dude.” I snickered. “Good morning, Max.”

“Uh, yeah… good morning.” He kissed my cheek and turned to Ryker. “I thought you needed to help Mrs. Bowers this morning?”

“Shit. I need to get home. Faith, do you want to come with me, and then I’ll drive you to work?” Ryker pulled me into my arms. “Please?”

“Yeah, but I need to take a quick shower. I promise I’ll only be twenty minutes, tops.”