Ryker (6 page)

“What’s wrong? You seem down all of a sudden.”

“I don’t know. I wish I knew what Ryker was thinking. I get that he has some issues, but every time I want to have fun, he puts a blanket of gloom over me. I’m tired of it. It isn’t like we’re close. Max is our only common denominator.” I grabbed the pitcher of beer and poured myself another glass. My head was getting foggy, probably because I hadn’t eaten much.

“I think he likes you. Max and I talked about it when we were dancing.”

“I can assure you he doesn’t. Do I look like the big-boobed women he goes for? And what’s up with you and Max?”

Her smile said it all. “We’re going to try again, so I guess we’re back together. And for the record, I’d go for you. Any man who doesn’t see you for the beautiful woman you are is stupid.”

I looked up and saw Bobby. Tyf excused herself from the table as Bobby sat next to me.

He took my hand. “Hey, I need to go. There’s a problem with a company abroad, and I need to take care of it. I didn’t mean to overstep earlier when I said you were beautiful, but you are. Let’s try to get together when I get back. Maybe we can go somewhere less crowded.

I wrapped him in a hug. “Thank you for everything tonight. I had fun.”

“No thanks needed. The bar tab is paid, so you guys are all set. I’ll talk to you soon.”

I watched him leave as Tyf came back to the table. We looked toward the stage.

Max approached the mic. “This one goes out to a girl who makes my heart beat a little faster.” He winked at Tyf.

I loved Max; he knew how to treat a woman.

It was about time that tool left. Seeing her with him made my heart ache, and that really pissed me off. I needed to get laid, that’s the problem. I swear to God, when I saw her crying, or when I thought she was crying, I was ready to beat the shit out of that clown.

Max looked back and nodded. The song was important to him because he’d written it for Tyf when they broke up. We hadn’t practiced it in a while, but he wanted to sing it for her. My sticks tapped together and started the rhythm of the song. My eyes were on Tyf’s face. She looked all dreamy. This would totally work even if we fucked it up.

I scanned the crowd, trying to figure out if Blanco Diablo’s manager was there. I had no idea what he looked like, or if he even was a he. I did catch the eye of a smokin’ hot chick. She licked her lips, and I winked. Then I made the mistake of looking at Faith. She lowered her eyes as she grabbed her beer. We finished the song, and the crowd went nuts. Tyf had what looked like tears in her eyes, so I guessed it was a success. Being the front man of the band had its advantages, but I was better off in the back. The hot chick walked over with a tray of shots. We all raised them to the crowd and slammed them back.

We finished our set, and as usual, we were flanked by women. The hot chick came up to me, and we stood almost eye to eye. I looked down. She had the longest legs I’d ever seen on a chick, and I pictured them wrapped around me.

She ran her finger down my chest to my waist. “Want to go in the back?”

Her eyes were sultry and rimmed in a soft black smudge, which was totally hot. My cock pressed against my jeans. I nodded. Hell yes, I needed a release. “We have another set in thirty minutes.”

“I can do a lot in thirty minutes.” She grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the back office. “This is my dad’s bar, and he’s out of town.” She opened the door.

That’s who she was! I knew she looked familiar. Her dad never wanted her here because of the guys—smart man. He should have locked her up.

We stumbled in, and her hands reached for my belt. All of a sudden it was as if my lungs were being bound by a rope, making it hard for me to breathe. Then it hit me like a brick: I couldn’t do this. Before I knew it, I gripped her wrists and stopped her from unfastening my pants.

Her eyes darted up to meet mine. “What’s the matter drummer boy?”

I’m sure she wanted to sound seductive and maybe even cute, but it had the opposite effect. “Changed my mind. Sorry, Doll.”

My body and mind prepared itself for some type of outburst, but she just shrugged and opened the door.

“Well, this was interesting, drummer boy. I’ll be around if you need me.” She kissed my cheek, and we walked out of the office.

I turned to go to the men’s room and she went into the ladies’ room as Tyf and Faith walked out. Faith looked at “Legs” and then at me.

The look on her face was shock and disgust. I didn’t say a word. I just continued on my way.

My hands rested on the white porcelain sink as I looked in the mirror. I couldn’t stand the man I’d become and the hurt I’d brought to people. I wished I was someone else, but no one could say or do anything to change me. After I wiped my hands on a paper towel, I made my way back to the bar. The guys were sitting at the table with the girls, so I walked over.

Max pulled over a chair for me. “Have a seat, man. I didn’t know where you went you disappeared.”

“Yeah, I had business to take care of.” I grabbed a glass and poured myself a beer.

Max chuckled. “Do I want to know who you did your business with?”

“Probably not.”

All the guys laughed.

I looked at Faith, and she was looking everywhere but at me. “Where did Robby go?”

Her head snapped toward me. “Ya know, you don’t have to be an asshole all the time. You know that isn’t his name. He had to go away for
real
business. The only business you know of is fucking some random stranger.” She stood and looked at Tyf. “I need air. I’ll be right back.”

I watched her walk out, and I braced myself for the chastising I knew was coming from Max.

“Man, seriously, can’t you lay off of her?” Max said.

“No, he can’t,” Tyf chimed in. “You know why? He likes her. He’s being a dick to her on purpose because he likes her. Isn’t that right, Ryker?” She tilted her head and glared at me.

I drained my glass and stood. “You think you’ve got me figured out, do ya? Why don’t you worry about yourself and my man Max here?” I slapped Max on the back. “I need a smoke. I’ll be back.”

Jake chimed in, “Don’t take too long. We go back on soon.”

I nodded and walked out the front door to find Faith. I lit my smoke and took a drag. “We need to stop meeting like this.”

She shot me a look of repulsion. “Did I do something to you? I mean, did I offend or cross you in some way?” Faith stood with her arms crossed, waiting for a response.

“No. Why?” I knew why, but I needed to buy some time. I didn’t know what to tell her.

“Look, we’ve been over this before, but I’ll put it out there again. I understand that I’m not your type. I understand something happened when you were younger, and this secret, or whatever you’re holding on to, won’t allow you to care about people. So here it is. Are you ready to hear this?”

My eyes felt as if they were the size of dinner plates. My brows shot up.

“I think you’re so messed up inside that all you want is temporary comfort,” she said. “I know you get that often and it makes you feel better, but you still have this incessant need to make me feel poorly about you. You want me to see a horrible person when I look at you, some monster I wouldn’t want to ever be with or hang out with.” Her hands went up. “But you know what? Too fucking bad! I’m Max’s best friend and so are you, so we’re friends by association. If we don’t get along, that puts Max in a bad place, and I won’t do that. I refuse to do that. So this is what’s going to happen. We’re going to be cordial with one another. You don’t like me for whatever reason and just want to make me feel like shit, then fine. But I will not stoop to your level.” She took a deep breath, and before I could say anything, she kept going. “Do I like you? Yeah, and you know it. Do I want to be with you? Yeah, maybe. Will I ever be with you? No. Do you know why?”

I shook my head and flicked my cigarette into the parking lot. I was terrified to know what she was going to say.

“Because you don’t deserve me, Ryker Jeffries. You deserve the sluts you parade around with. I don’t want you for your dick; I want you for your heart. No matter how hard you try to convince me otherwise, I know you have one. I don’t know who broke it, but I’m not the one who can fix it. Only you can do that.”

The ache in my chest grew. Placing my hands on her face, I whispered, “I’m sorry.”

I brought my lips toward hers and looked in her eyes. She was right about everything. I saw the innocence in her eyes, and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t ruin her. Her warm breath caressed my mouth, and I inhaled her air so I could always have some of her with me. She didn’t move.

I pulled back and dropped my hands. “I need to get back in there. You coming?”

She nodded and let out a breath. “Yeah.”

We walked back in. The guys were getting ready to start. I sat at my drums and waited for my cue. I didn’t want to think about the tongue lashing I’d just received from Faith. Even though she was right on all counts, I didn’t want to think about it. If she knew about my past, she really would hate me.

Max nodded at me, and I played. I couldn’t feel my sticks hitting the drums. I knew I was doing it, but I wasn’t into it; it felt very robotic.

When we finished the set, it was getting late. Max was talking to Tyf and Faith as I placed my drums in their cases. He leaned down and kissed Tyf hard. I guessed they were back together. That was a good thing. He’d been a miserable prick since they broke up. Then I saw him kiss and hug Faith. She smiled at him and laughed at something he said. I’d never felt envy before, but at that moment, it was all I felt. I was totally envious of Max and his relationship with Faith.

I grabbed my cases and walked up to Max as the girls left. “You ready?”

“Yeah, let’s get out of here.”

After our gear was safely stored, we were ready to go.

“So you and Tyf are on again?” I asked.

“We’re taking it slow, but when I saw her tonight, I realized she was the only one I wanted to be with. I definitely don’t want her with anyone else.”

I pulled out of the parking lot and drove toward Max’s place. “Well, that’s good. You guys are good together.”

“Yeah. It’ll be weird staying at her place with Faith there though.”

“Why will Faith be at Tyf’s?” I turned a corner.

“Because they’re going to be roommates. Tyf asked her tonight. She’s good for Faith. I think she gives Faith a sense of confidence.”

“Oh, I think Faith is more than confident.” The sarcasm dripped off my tongue.

“Oh yeah, why? What happened? Please tell me you didn’t get into it again.”

I just looked at Max. Apparently I didn’t need to say any more.

“Bro, for real? What the fuck? Didn’t you learn anything from last night?”

“Hey, don’t get crazy on me. I didn’t start it; she did.”

Max exhaled in frustration. “Well, I don’t know what to say except you’d better be nice to her at her graduation party. She’s worked really hard to graduate in the top ten percent of her class.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about it. I’m going out of town this week, remember?” I pulled into Max’s driveway and put the car in park.

“No, I don’t remember that. You can’t go because we’re playing at her party.”

My head snapped toward him. “I can’t. This is the first time I’ve heard of this gig, and I have to leave for a few days. I can’t reschedule it. I’m sorry.”

“Oh my god, are you fucking serious? When are you leaving?”

“Wednesday. I’ll be back on Sunday. Sorry, but it can’t be helped. It isn’t my fault you didn’t tell me.”

Max grabbed the door handle. “Yeah, whatever. I know I told you. Her party is Saturday night. Can you come back early?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. Ask Tim’s brother to step in for me. I’ll do my best to get back, though. That work?”

“Yeah, fine.” Max opened the door. “Thanks for the ride.”

The door closed, and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I couldn’t not go out of town, and coming back Saturday night would be tricky. But I’d do my best to be there for the band. As I drove home, I thought about telling Max why I am the way I am with Faith, but he wouldn’t understand. Shit, there were times I didn’t understand. All I knew was I couldn’t lose another person I cared about.