Authors: Lydia Michaels
“Not particularly.”
He nodded as if he understood there was more to what she said than was actually spoken. She frowned at him and he silently laughed. Her stare shot back to her plate and spent the rest of the meal avoiding his gaze.
An hour later she was staring in the mirror, tugging at her cotton shirt, frowning again. Sheilagh wasn’t kidding when she said her suit had strings. That was pretty much all the bathing suit consisted of, strings and a couple small patches of navy blue nylon.
Her body was incredibly exposed even with the cover of her shorts and shirt. One wrong move and a nipple would fall out. There was no way she was taking off her shirt at the lake. Her underwear and bra would’ve been a more decent cover.
When there was a knock at the door she turned. Braydon walked in before she could answer.
She scowled at him, wondering what he would’ve done if she were indecent. Not that he seemed to even look at her. He marched over to his dresser and grabbed a key attached to a spongy keychain from a dish then went to the closet and retrieved a pair of flip-flops. It was his room, but she still bristled when he intruded on her privacy without apologizing.
“Are you gonna drive over to the lake with Shei?”
Sam sat on the edge of the bed and watched as he removed items from his pocket and sorted through them as if taking inventory then returned the items to his pockets in a more organized manner. Good thing she wasn’t an overly sensitive girl or an attention whore, because his disregard for her was starting to get really old and she considered herself a rather tolerant person.
“Sure.”
“Good.” He glanced at her as he was about to leave then paused. “Did you get a suit?”
She nodded.
“Can I see?”
“I’m not planning on taking off my shirt.”
He walked over to her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. His fingers reached for her hand and tugged her to her feet. He was going to kiss her. There was that odd change in the atmosphere that told her so.
Standing, she looked him in the eye. He smiled and she knew he was feeling tickles of emotion that were absent from her.
“So modest,” he commented softly as he touched her bottom lip with his thumb. She somewhat resented that her body couldn’t produce even the most mediocre reaction to his attention when he gave it. It was as if her rational conscience was too involved around him to ever let her forget herself.
His lips touched hers and slowly coaxed her mouth open. The kiss was pleasant, but nothing more. His hands rested on her hips, softly massaging the slight curve. As his tongue slowly played with hers he moaned and pulled her closer. He was slightly aroused, but nowhere near fully.
How could he be satisfied with this lackluster chemistry? There was something about their interactions that made Sam believe it would never be anything more, and anything appearing as more between them would be completely artificial.
She pulled back. “Braydon, I think we need to talk.”
He looked down at her with lowered lashes. “About?”
“Us.”
“What about us?” He attempted to kiss her again and she turned away. He frowned. “What, Sam? Just say it.”
She really wanted to avoid setting him straight until it was time for her to leave. There was nothing fun about having to awkwardly be a guest in the house of someone you broke up with, especially with his entire family there.
Once she finished college she’d probably acquire more of a social life. She never really dated seriously. It wasn’t that she wasn’t sexual. She simply led a more pragmatic life. Always crossing point A to get to B, all the while remembering she’d soon be approaching point C. Apparently, losing her virginity was on a whole different end of the alphabet.
She was an excellent student. School had been an amazing distraction for her when life was simply too hard for her to cope. She invested all of her energies in her studies rather than examining her fear and regret. She never allowed herself to surrender to the pain that would swallowed her whole. Instead, she put all her energy into school and became a straight A student, but now that school was ending she’d need something else to occupy her time. Perhaps she should start on her Masters.
“I don’t think this is working.”
His mouth opened and she suspected this was coming out of left field for him. They really were on two separate wavelengths. “Sam, you haven’t given us a chance.”
“I have. I like you, Braydon, but I’m not sure us dating is the best idea.”
He stepped closer, placing his hands on her hips as he looked into her eyes. “Why? We’re good together. We have fun.”
What fun? They’d barely hung out. “I just…” The sound of someone clearing their throat and a soft knock on the door had them breaking eye contact.
When Sam saw that it was Colin she jumped away from Braydon so fast she nearly stumbled, but Braydon caught her by the elbow and steadied her.
“Bray, Luke’s waiting for you in the truck.”
Braydon turned and retrieved the key he placed on the dresser again then quickly kissed her cheek. “Thanks. I’ll see you later, Samantha.”
She looked down at her bare feet as he left and waited for Colin to follow him.
He didn’t. She felt him watching her once again, knowing he probably saw them kissing.
“Are you about ready to go to the lake?”
She looked up at him and felt some sort of invisible barrier between them as if he were hiding an emotion he didn’t want to share. Suddenly swamped with guilt as if she betrayed him, she nodded. He was dressed in loose fitting swim trunks and an old faded O’Malley’s T-shirt, this one kelly-green with a washed out shamrock on the chest.
“Aren’t you going with the guys on the boat?” she asked.
“I was going to go to the lake, but I…I just remembered I have something I need to do.”
It was a poorly disguised lie, but Sam was grateful for it. “Oh.”
His gaze left hers and traveled over her body from her shoulders to her feet. The dark triangles of Sheilagh’s bikini were visible under the soft cotton of her shirt. By the time his stare wondered over her exposed thighs a second time she couldn’t help the chill that ran up her spine. Her nipples tightened.
“Right,” he said meeting her gaze once more. “Well, have fun, Sammy.”
He turned and walked to his room, the soft but final click of his door closing behind him filling her with ominous regret and shame.
Chapter Six
The lake was peaceful. It was different than a Jersey shore beach. The sand was coarser, the water browner, and the atmosphere lighter. Although it was private property and only the McCulloughs and close friends were there, there were enough of them that it reminded Sam of a 50’s styled resort. If she looked hard enough she could probably find a log bridging over a creek to dance on.
The warm sun caressed her skin, countering the cooler breeze as it danced across the land coming off the lake. It was a great body of water that curved and wrapped around pine trees and mountains in the distance. Although she couldn’t see Braydon and the others at the moment, she could hear the boat speeding and chopping through the surface.
There were no waves like in the ocean. Although the lake had a gradual incline from the coast, it was calm enough to spot ripples when a beetle landed on the surface.
In the distance about fifty feet out from the coast was a small square dock. Tristan had swum out there earlier and had been napping there ever since. Sam knew from watching him go that after about twenty feet the lake floor became untouchable. There’d be no going in the water for her.
Sheilagh lay on her belly across a bright orange beach towel facing Patrick as they played Gin Rummy. A small radio broke the silence and Sam softly tapped her foot in the coarse yellow sand to the beat.
“Gin!” Sheilagh declared.
“Finally! Come on, I’m sweating. Let’s go in the water,” Pat said as he stood and stretched.
“Race you to the dock?”
“Yeah, because that’s not obvious,” Patrick teased and Sheilagh shoved him as she darted into the water.
She seemed to have no issue with running around in nothing but Lycra strings and patches. “Wanna come, Sam?”
She stood and shaded the top of her sunglasses and looked up at Patrick. He was a sweet kid and Sam really appreciated the way he always included her in whatever else the others were doing.
“No thanks. I think I’m going to take a nap.”
“Okay, suit yourself. You may wanna put on some more sun block though. Your nose is getting red.”
He ran off and Sam took his advice and rubbed in a bit more sunscreen. It wasn’t long before she was peacefully lounging in one of the abandoned chairs on the cusp of sleep, basking in the warmth of the sun.
A while later as the distant voices and splashing from the water faded into white noise, the chill of a shadow passed over her as if the clouds were momentarily blocking the sun. The thud of something hitting the sand made her realize it wasn’t the clouds blocking the sun, but a person casting shadows.
She opened her eyes and stilled at the sight of Colin. Grateful for the veil her dark glasses provided she watched him unfold a beach chair and remove his shirt. Knowing her voyeurism was wrong, she covertly kept her lashes lowered in case he looked her way and saw through her lenses.
She wasn’t prepared when he paused before seating himself to boldly stare at her. Suddenly very aware of her body, his gaze a caress upon her sun kissed thighs, she fought the urge to fidget. Her fingers, although completely still, felt as if they were slightly twitching along with her toes.
What was he looking at? His gaze roamed over her knees and down to her ankles.
“You better put sun block on your feet. They’re burning.”
She tensed.
Should she quit her campaign to feign sleep and admit she was watching him too, or continue on with her see-through ruse for self-preservation’s sake?
Damn it!
She was such a crappy liar. She lifted her glasses and smiled. “Thanks.” Reaching into her bag she pulled out her sun block.
“How’s the water?”
“Uh, I don’t know. I haven’t been in.”
She avoided looking at him by taking an extra-long time rubbing the milky sunscreen into her arches and making sure to get deep between her toes where sun would likely never touch.
Sheilagh’s laughter traveled to them from far out by the dock. Patrick was wading in the water close by as Tristan tickled her. Sam wondered if she had somehow misinterpreted his sexual orientation the evening before. What he was doing with Luke’s sister was unmistakably flirting.
“What’s wrong?”
She turned to Colin and again was reminded of how devastatingly handsome he was. “What?”
“You’re frowning. Is something wrong?”
“Oh. No, I was just watching them.”
Colin looked to the dock and sighed. “I should worry that a man seven years older than my baby sister is touching her that way, but Sheilagh’s a force to be reckoned with. She won’t let him take things too far.”
While that may be true, Samantha disagreed. She could already tell that if Tristan were open to more intimate matters with Sheilagh, all he would need to do is say so and the girl would be agreeable to anything he wanted.
They watched the two play a moment longer when suddenly Sheilagh lost her footing and stumbled off the dock, arms pin- wheeling as she fell.
Sam gasped and sat upright, alarming Colin in the process. When Sheilagh finally surfaced Sam gave a sigh of relief and sat back again, but her shoulders were uncomfortably knotted with tension.
“You don’t like water do you, Sammy?”
She turned sharply to Colin, prepared to deny such a silly fear, but when she saw nothing but compassion in his gaze she relaxed her defenses.
“No.”
“Why?”
She looked at him, knowing it was a normal question, but still resenting the breach of privacy. “I just don’t.”
“Did something happen to you?”
Fuck you, she wanted to say, but knew that was cruel and unjustified and definitely not the way one spoke to a priest. “I don’t like to talk about it.”
“Don’t like to or don’t?”
“Don’t.”
He nodded with understanding. “Fair enough.”
Colin leaned back in his chair and shut his eyes. Samantha continued to watch him a few moments longer before doing the same.
Normally okay with silence, Sam was uncharacteristically at odds with the quiet. Unable to tolerate it a moment longer she said, “I thought you had other things to do.”
The moment the somewhat snarky comment left her mouth she regretted it. Not only because it could be taken as rude, but because she also realized she might’ve disturbed him from taking a rest.
“Sorry.”
“No need to be sorry,” he said sitting up and draping his tanned arms over his knees.
How did a priest get so many muscles? He removed his glasses to look at her and Sam found the action unnerving. “I know I should’ve done what I intended, but the draw of sitting in the sun with friends and family was all too tempting.” His voice was so deep and soft at the same time.
“What did you have to do?”
He pressed his lips together as if he didn’t want to answer. After hesitating a moment longer he said, “I needed to get over myself, basically. Sometimes it’s confusing, approaching a change you’ve been preparing for practically your entire life. I guess you may be going through a bit of the same thing with graduating this summer and finally becoming a teacher.”
She could understand that. “It is a bit surreal.”
He nodded. “Surreal, yes, that’s a good word for it. I suppose it’s natural to feel suddenly insecure about something you spent years convincing yourself you were certain of. Did you ever want to be something besides a teacher?”
“A figure skater,” she whispered as the sense of a ghost passing through her sent chills up her arms. Why had she just admitted that?
“Really? That’s different. I used to want to be a firefighter, but my mother would’ve shot me first. Why did you change your mind?”