Sacrificed (The Ignited Series) (23 page)

I didn’t want to be this. Any of this. I sure as hell didn’t want to be capable of doing things others could only dream of. Especially when that meant destroying everything and everyone I loved.

“It’s why you’re developing faster than me. Than Micah. Why your specialties are coming in faster, and stronger, and better than—”

“Enough already!”

He shot me a perplexed look before facing the road again. He didn’t say anything as he turned into Tenner’s neighborhood and pulled to the curb in front of the house. His hand moved to the door but paused when he saw me sitting motionless in my seat.

“I don’t want it,” I croaked, swallowing the tickle in my throat that warned me of the tears not far behind.

Alec shifted so that he was now leaning across the console. With one hand, he turned my face to his. His eyes were clouded, with no trace of the ornery Alec I knew. “I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

“Everything is spiraling out of my control,” I murmured. “I’m powerless to stop it.”

“Maybe not.” I heard the hopefulness in his voice, but it didn’t rub off on me. “Look, Kris, we’ll find a way to get you out of this mess. I know we will. But right now, we have to go.”

I nodded, taking a deep breath and preparing myself, once again, to run. I was so tired of running.

The springs under my seat creaked as Alec leaned onto it, placing one hand just to the side of my thigh. I felt his breath on my cheek just before he planted a soft lingering kiss to my temple. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” he said. “We’ll get through this, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good.” He reached across me to open the car door for me, since I was apparently incapable of doing anything to help myself at this point. “Now, come on. Get out.”

As soon as my feet hit the pavement, I was good. For the mos
t part. Sure, I was overwhelmed, and confused, and scared, but that wasn’t going to go anywhere. Now, I had to focus on getting out of Colorado and away from the mob of Skotadi likely already searching for us.

Alec met me on the sidewalk and I gave him a look that let him know I was okay. He grabbed my hand, and this time, I had no reservations about it. If anything, I welcomed his touch, as it was the only thing grounding me at the moment.

It was a short walk from the car to the front porch. As we approached, a dark shadow in the shape of a man rounded the side of the house, walking toward us.

“Alec,” I whispered.

“I see him.” He squeezed my hand, and together we turned, walking quickly back to the car.

A second shadow was waiting for us there. As it stepped forward to intercept us, Alec braced, ready for attack, or ready to attack.

Not me. I knew that shape. I would recognize it anywhere. As he stepped closer, close enough to see his face, my pulse accelerated out of excitement and fear. I wanted to run, but I wasn’t sure if it was from him, or to him.

To keep from doing either, I planted my feet firmly on the ground, and asked, “What are you doing here?”

He didn’t answer as he took a step closer. I sensed Alec relaxing beside me, and knew the moment he also realized who it was.

“Took you long enough,” Alec muttered.

I turned and gaped at Alec. “What? Did you—? Did you call him?”

Alec looked equally appalled when he looked down at me. “Seriously, Kris?”

A voice behind us demanded my attention. “No. We found you.” I turned as Micah joined us on the sidewalk, with Callie beside him. Micah kept his eyes on me warily, like he would a momma grizzly with a few cubs, as he motioned to Callie. “We figured you were with Alec, and Callie remembered that he was from Colorado. The closer we got, the stronger I felt your presence. It was like a map that led us straight to you.”

“Wow, that soul mate shit sure is something, isn’t it?” Alec muttered, but I ignored him.

I backed away from Micah, putting as much distance between us as I could. When he took another step closer, I turned to run, and crashed into Nathan. I turned again, and backpedaled into the street, away from both of them.

“Stay away,” I said to no one in particular, but looking at Nathan.

“Kris, it’s okay,” Micah crooned.

I shook my head rapidly. No, no, it wasn’t okay. It was so far from okay.

“Stay away from me!” They didn’t understand who I was, what I had learned tonight, what I would be capable of. How dangerous I would be to both of them. Unless…

I remembered the discussion Micah and I’d had about Incantation. That had been weeks ago, but I remembered there being something off about the way he’d looked at me at that moment.  And the day in the warehouse, when we’d found the
Skotadi’s room and he mentioned Incantators. There had been this way he’d looked at me then, as if we’d shared a secret I wasn’t even aware of.

I hadn’t been aware until about an hour ago. 

“Did you know?” I asked Micah. Perhaps it was the harsh tone I used, or maybe my eyes were surging, because I was pissed, so pissed, but Micah looked too stunned to do much more than gape at me.

“Did you know what I was?” I growled, and this time, I knew my eyes were burning.

“Not right away. I figured it out.”

“When?”

His eyes lowered to the ground, a sign I took as an admission of guilt. He’d known long enough that he could have, and should have, told me.

“How could you not tell me?” I screeched. It took all the willpower I had left to not rip his damn head off. I didn’t even let him answer before I turned my attention to the next victim of my rage.

“Did you know?” I asked Nathan between clenched teeth.

I’d never imagined a moment in which Nathan would actually look intimidated, especially not of me, but in this moment, he sure was close. And he was hesitant. That was all it took for me to lose it.

I wasn’t sure if I was more heartbroken or angry. “How could you?” I looked back and forth between the two of them, the two who had known the truth before me, and had kept me from it. I was mad at Micah, but Nathan? His deception just hurt.

Nathan had been quiet this whole time, but after seeing the devastation on my face, jumped into action. Before I could move out of the way, he was standing in front of me. His hands came down on my shoulders, holding me in place. “I didn’t know, Kris,” he said softly. “Not until a few days ago, when Micah told me.”

I tried to turn my head, with a steely glare intended for Micah, but Nathan’s grip shifted to my chin, preventing me from doing so.

“It doesn’t matter,” he continued.

“How can you say that?” I shrieked. “I’m spiraling out of control, Nathan, and it’s happening so fast I can’t stop it. I won’t be able to stop it. You…you can’t stop it! I’m a demigod…and I’m the Incantator!”

“Maybe being the Incantator is a go
od thing?” he suggested. “Being the one that brings an end to our kind? Maybe it’s not as bad as it sounds. Maybe it means an end to the war once and for all? Maybe it means we’ll all be freed of our duty to fight it?”

I shook my head against his suggestions. How could he be so naïve? Of course, the Incantator wasn’t going to be something good. There was a reason they were taught to fear this person—to fear me.

“Kris…” It was Micah’s voice, closer now, which induced that familiar churning inside of me. Stronger than before. Stronger than ever. Again, I attempted to stare him down, but Nathan stopped me.

He took my hand in his, and with a warning glare of his own tossed in Micah’s direction, steered me off the street and around the side of the house. Out of sight of Micah…and Micah out of sight of me. I would have been grateful, if I weren’t so afraid of being alone with Nathan.

I tried to step around him, to put a safe amount of distance between us, but he pushed me up against the side of the house and forcibly held me there. My eyes lifted to his.

“What are—
”

My inquiry was cut short by Nathan’s mouth crashing into mine, and the question gave way to a tiny whimper against his lips, the reason he’d brought me here, the anger I had felt just a
moment ago all forgotten. 

A primal need took over. I hooked my fingers through the loops at the waist of his jeans and
tugged him to me frantically, longing to feel him against me, and wanting him to feel me. A low guttural sound came from somewhere deep in his throat, and he gripped my waist, pushing me back until I was wedged tightly between him and the wall. Our bodies connected at all the right places, and not even a breath of air could slip between us.

He kissed me hungrily, deeply, like he feared it would be the last and he had to make the most of what we had. His hands slid from my waist, slowly trailed up my sides, and came to a rest wrapped up in my hair. With a gentle tug, Nathan tipped my head to the side so that he could bury his face in my neck as we both fought to catch our breaths.

I sighed with a smile on my lips. “Miss me?” I whispered teasingly.

He made an unintelligible sound just before finding my mouth again. He kissed me hard once more, before easing into a sweet, soft, barely-there touch of his lips against mine. Then he shifted to lean his forehead against mine, his eyes piercing when they fell on mine.

“You have no idea,” he murmured huskily. Then he grinned, reminding me of how he could make my insides flip-flop with one look. Just as fast as it came, the grin faded. “Kris...”

He started to pull away to look at me better. I tightened my hold on him, prevented him from moving.

“Don’t,” I pleaded. The last thing I wanted was to fight. Not again, not after the night I’ve had. Nathan’s kiss had temporarily stunted my aggravation and fear, and I wanted to keep it that way. Before I had to return to reality.

He peeled my hands off the back of his neck and held them at our sides. “I just want to know why.”

I averted my eyes.

“Kris, why did you come here?” He shifted so that he stood in my line of sight, forcing me to look at him.

“I’m sorry,” I offered meekly. 

“Why?”

“It’s not Alec, if that’s what you’re wondering.” He had to know that. Had to know that he was the one I wanted, and would always want, even if my actions didn’t always portray that.

His throat jumped. “It didn’t look that way in the car.”

He saw that?

I suddenly felt a weight on my chest, making it hard to breath. “It wasn’t what it looked like,” I gushed. “I literally just found out what I was an hour ago. He was consoling me. That’s it.”

“Then why did you come here?”

I dropped my eyes to the ground. I wanted to tell him, I really did, but I didn’t know if I could. I was afraid of facing the truth, or his reaction to it. But, then, he had seen me that day. He knew what had happened, what had almost happened. Surely, he had to know that I was changing, and that was why I ran. Right?

“Kris.” He said my name sharply, using a finger to lift my chin as he did. “Why did you leave?”

“I feel myself changing.” I stared at him, every bit of confidence portrayed on my face fake. Truth: I was scared to death.

He saw through my charade, as always. Tenderness softened his features when he figured it out. “So you ran to avoid Micah,” he concluded.

“And you.”

“And me? Why?”

“Nath
an, I almost killed you. I couldn’t run the risk of that happening again.”

He choked back a laugh. “You didn’t—”

“Yes, I did. And it would have happened again. These episodes are getting harder to control. I know I can’t hurt Micah because the future of humanity is at stake, but my heart and soul would be at stake if I hurt you. I wouldn’t be able to breathe. Life would cease to exist…for me.”

I saw the
trace of a smile. “Exaggerate much?”

“Nathan, I’m serious,” I whined.

“I know you are, but Kris, I’m not going to stay away from you, or let you run away from me.” He enclosed me in his arms. “I want to help you. I want you to let me help you.”

I rolled my head. He made it sound like it was easy. It wasn’t.

He squeezed me tighter. “I’m not going to let you face this alone. You say life would cease to exist if anything happened to me? Well, I feel the same way about you, which means I’m going to be there with you every step of the way, and you’re going to have to deal with it.”

He felt the same way about me? That revelation should have put a smile on my face, but all I managed was a frown. “You’re impossible to argue with,” I muttered.

“Yeah,” he agreed automatically. “The sooner you realize that, the better.”

“And what about the next time I lose control?”

Nathan loosened his hold on me slightly as he pondered my question, and I could see that he was trying really hard to come up with a solution. Seeing the determination on his face nearly forced a smile out of me.

“Does Alec have any ideas? Suggestions?” he finally asked, with a hint of reluctance.

The smile was impossible to hold back now. “Seeking Alec’s help, huh?”

Nathan shrugged like he wasn’t happy about it, but knew Alec’s assistance was necessary. “You’re the one who came here for his help. He have anything useful to offer?”