Sacrificed (The Ignited Series) (27 page)

CHAPTER 24

I dreamt of the river, but unlike the other times I’d found myself on its banks, it was a peaceful experience. Lauren and Megan were there with me, as beautiful angels, and I didn’t want to leave. It wasn’t like our usual times together—they were dead now after all—but I was sent away with a message I swore to never forget. 

Where there is free will, anything is possible…

I couldn’t go where they were going, they had said. I had a destiny to fulfill. And it might not be as bad as I thought. That was all they told me, all they would give me.

Once I realized I wasn’t joining them in the afterlife, we went our separate ways, and for the first time since their deaths, I wasn’t sad. It was a bittersweet awakening, having to leave them, but when my eyes opened and fell on Nathan sleeping quietly beside me, the pain of saying my final goodbye waned.

The memory of my last actions rushed back to me, and I scanned the room for clues as to wh
ere I was. Wherever it was, it appeared safe. Perhaps a hotel room—and not a cheap slummy one either.

I couldn’t be cer
tain, but everything seemed…okay.

I lifted my arm from underneath the covers and traced a finger over the new scar in the palm of my hand. It had faded and was barely visible now.

A smile spread across my face. Micah had done it. They all had done it. We had gotten out.

And Nathan lay beside me. Only a slight discoloration of the skin under one of his eyes remained as a reminder of the brutality he had endured.

Partially convinced I must be in another dream, I reached out to touch him, to trace a finger across his temple and down his cheekbone. The feel of his skin and the day old scruff on his jaw at my fingertips reassured me that he was really there with me.

His eyes fluttered and snapped open, and suddenly I was gazing into a sea of blue. He stared at me a beat as I smiled at him and then, as if suddenly realizing that he wasn’t dreaming, he sprang up in the bed.

He hovered over me as I lay on my back, looking up into his eyes that were both terrified and relieved at once. As the seconds passed, they softened, as if he finally believed that I wasn’t an illusion.

“How do you feel?” His voice sounded strained and wary, perhaps an indication of the hell I had put him through.

“I think I’m okay,” I murmured.

With a heavy sigh, he dropped his head to my shoulder. He remained there as he gained control over his ragged breathing, his body shuddering above me.

“Nathan?” I ran my hand through his hair gently. I was halfway through my second pass when his head snapped up unexpectedly.

“What were you thinking?” he demanded, his voice full of emotion, but not anger.

“I had to distract them,” I offered meekly.

“By killing yourself?” he croaked, and I realized that, to him, that may have appeared to have been my intention.

“Nathan, I—”

“Didn’t I tell you we would get through this?”

I nodded and he lowered his head to rest his forehead against mine. His body still shook in tiny tremors, palpable under my hands when I put them on his shoulders.

“Don’t do anything like that again,” he ordered, then lifted his head to look into my eyes, and waited for me to agree with another nod.

I hadn’t considered how my actions would affect him. Then again, I hadn’t had much time to think about anything. It had been more of a whim, a desperate attempt, with a desperate hope that I could be saved, and only now did I fully understand how foolish I had been. And how my actions must have looked to him.

“I wasn’t trying to kill mysel
f.” I felt the need to make him understand that. “I—I’d already nicked myself with the knife. I’d already been injured.”

It was a little embarrassing admitting that, but he needed to know I hadn’t done it on purpose. I didn’t think telling him that I would have sacrificed myself anyway, to save
him and Alec, would help my cause, so I kept that tidbit to myself.

“I knew Micah could heal diamond injury, and—”

“That was your plan?” His face dropped. “That was your hope? That Micah could save you?”

“I guess so.”

He shook his head in disbelief and shifted so that he was now propped up on his elbow beside me, facing me, but no longer hovering over me. He was still so close, but I’d preferred it when he’d been closer.

“And what if it hadn’t worked?” he asked, his eyes raising to meet mine reluctantly.

I shrugged, feeling ashamed. The world would have been safer, but I hadn’t stopped to consider the impact my possible loss would have had on others—on Nathan. From the haunted look on his face, I knew he would have been left devastated, and for that, I felt horrible.

“But it did,” I offered. “Don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad.” He softened, looked down into the small space between us like all the world’s answers could be found there. “I was just scared.”

That I could understand, but I could also tell that he had more to add, and I waited patiently for him to organize his
thoughts.

“I was afraid I’d never have the chance…” he started before traili
ng off. Unease clouded his eyes as he contemplated what he wanted, but struggled, to say. Finally, his eyes lifted to mine with determination. “I thought I’d never get to say to you all the things I should have said to you a long time ago.”

My throat constricted as I waited. When those words didn’t come fast enough for me, I forced a strained, “What?”

“How much you mean to me, how much I care about you, how much…” His eyes flicked away as his throat jumped. They leveled on mine again as the next words made their way to my ears. “How much I love you.”

I stared, unable to do anything else. It was just too much…so unexpected…so…

He loved me?

“I’ve been an idiot,” Nathan continued. “I’ve loved you all along, Kris. It just took me this long to accept it, and to realize that it’s what I want. You’re what I want. And then, there was Alec… And I thought that if I pretended to not care, that it would make it easier if you chose him. I realize now how stupid that was, that I was practically pushing you to him, but I’m done being stupid now.”

For a man of few words, there were times, like this, that he managed to blow me away. I managed a smile, but words were lost to me. Fortunately, Nathan wasn’t done yet, which gave me time to collect my own thoughts.

“And I don’t care what happened with Alec. It was all my fault, because I didn’t fight for you like I should have. From now on, I’m going to fight,” he continued. “I’ll fight for you—and not just for your life or your future, but for your love.”

For the first time in a very long time, happy tears welled up in my eyes. I placed a hand on his stubbly cheek, forcing him to stop and listen to me. “You already have it.” His brow pulled together like he didn’t understand, or couldn’t believe, what I was trying to say. Just to make sure he understood, I added, “Nathan, I’m in love with you.”

His eyes squeezed tight as if he were in pain, and he shook his head in disbelief. “I don’t deserve
you,” he muttered.

I would have voiced an argument, if not for Nathan angling close enough to stunt all brain function. A ghost of a smile graced his lips just before they found mine.

That kiss sealed our words with a tender promise. His mouth moved delicately over mine as if he were taking special care in savoring the moment. My heart swelled with the emotion I had grown used to restraining. Now, in letting it flow freely, my body responded ten-fold. My hands trailed up his arms, which were taut from holding his weight as he shifted over me. His upper body blanketed me, but when I cupped the back of his neck, I tugged him even closer.

That move sparked a change in the way Nathan kissed me. Tenderness and purpose gave way to raw desire. My hands moved over his back and shoulders as if wanting to touch him everywhere at once. None of it seemed enough. Finding the hem of his shirt, I slipped my hands underneath the fabric until they were flush with his skin. The muscles that, until then, I had only seen in my imagination, were at my fingertips, and felt even more magnificent in real life.  

Fueled by love, and a previously restrained desire, this kiss quickly transcended all other kisses we have shared—both physically and emotionally. I knew it, and I’m pretty sure he knew it, too. As expected, he was the first to recognize the heady direction we were heading.

“Okay…okay…” Nathan murmured as he pulled away, albeit reluctantly. His chest heaved against mine as he caught his breath. Though it took visible effort, he pushed off of me. Scooting back a few inches for good measure, he propped up on one elbow to look down at me.

“We get to do more of that now, right?” I asked wistfully.

His lips curled into a smile, wide enough to produce both the sexiest and most adorable dimples I had ever seen. “I sure hope so. But, for now, you stay over there.”

That was fine. I rolled my head so that I had a perfect view of him, and that was enough for the time being. I was curious, but I didn’t ask why he insisted on maintaining the six inch gap separating us. To me, it was a form of torture. I considered that being close to me might be a form of torture for him, so I decided not to press the issue if that was what he wanted.

We were together, and that was what mattered. Now that we had that established, and we apparently weren’t going to make out again anytime soon, I figured we’d talk.

And I had a lot of questions. Starting with how I ended up here—wherever
here
was?

“What happened? After I blacked out?”

Nathan grinned. “You’re two favorite people rescued us.”

My two favorite people? His sarcasm had been apparent, so that could only mean…

“Gabby and Richie?”

He nodded.

“How?”

His grin grew. “Apparently, the Kala had a tracking device placed on Micah, in the event that they ever lost him. When we left to come find you, Gabby and Richie notified the Kala. They tracked him, sent practically their entire army. The Skotadi didn’t have a chance.”

I paled at his mention of the Kala. A chill whipped down my spine at the thought that we weren’t rescued and safe, but rather held hostage, by the Kala now.

Nathan must have seen the fear register on my face. “Don’t worry,” he reassured me. “Micah was very convincing in persuading them to help you. He wouldn’t let them near you until they understood what you did for him, and got them to agree to help.”

The Kala were going to help us? All of us? Belatedly, I realized I hadn’t seen anyone but Nathan yet. What about the others? I knew Micah would be okay, but what about Alec?

“Alec too?” I asked.

Nathan nodded. “Apparently, they realized the advantage of having all three of you on their side.”

That was the most reassuring news I’d heard in a long time. Surely the Kala knew about the
Skotadi’s plans. They’d probably been working on stopping them for years, and maybe had some theories about how to prevent the conversions. They had to know more than we did.

“And Callie?” The question hung up in my throat, and I steeled myself for his answer.

“Callie’s fine.”

Oh, thank God.
I would have never forgiven myself if anything had happened to her.

“So now what?” I asked Nathan.

“When you’re able, we’ll go to the base, start dissecting the whole conversion process.” Nathan hesitated, and his posture told me that what he had to add wasn’t something I would want to hear. “They got Lillian.”

My brow furrowed. “Got her?”

She wasn’t dead?

“Captured her,” Nathan amended. He eyed me warily as I registered what he’d said, like he knew I wouldn’t be happy about it.

I wasn’t. I sat up a little straighter in the bed. “Why?”

“They’re planning to study her, learn from her, to figure out how the Skotadi changed her and use what they learn to help you and Alec.”

My heart sank. So the Kala didn’t know more than we did. While I couldn’t ignore the value of having her in captivity, knowing she was alive, and near, worried me.

“Security is tight on her, Kris,” Nathan assured me. “She’s already been sent to the base with most of the Kala army. Only a few stayed behind, to escort us to the base once you’re okay to travel.”

I pushed back the covers, but Nathan’s hands on my shoulders prevented me from getting up.

“Not yet, you’re not,” he said.

“We need to get to the base,” I argued.

The sooner we got started the better. My inner demons have been growing stronger by the day. I didn’t have time to spare, and neither did Alec.

“We will, soon. Just get some more rest,” he pleaded. “I’ll tell them you’re awake, and we’ll make the arrangements to leave. But I want you to stay in bed until then.”

I dropped my head to the pillow with a sigh. I was ready to go, but knew better than to argue with Nathan when he had his mind set on something.

“Besides,” he said with a growing smile. “I think there might be someone else who would like to see you.”