Sadie's Mountain (38 page)

“What was that?” I ask Dillon. “He has to know you think he did it.”

“What did he say to you? I was talking to your brothers,” he says, pacing. “Then I look and he’s leaning over you.”

“He said...” Dillon stops pacing and nods. He’s breathing heavy as if he’d forgotten to take a breath. “He said I looked beautiful today.”

If anger had a face, it would be Dillon’s right now. Aunt Lotty walks up to us apprehensively. “What’s going on?” she asks.

“Can I tell you later?”

“Sure, honey. I need your help in the kitchen at home. I’ve got to get this casserole in the oven before everybody gets there.”

“Sure. Sure. Dillon let’s go, please.” He’s watching the path Donnie took to leave as if the ghost of him still lingers there.

“Can I have your phone?” I ask when I realize I’m almost late calling Jenny on our drive toward my momma’s house.

He hands it to me, and I rack my brain for her number. She’s in my contacts so I’ve never had to dial her directly. It takes me four tries to reach her.

“Sadie?” Jenny says.

“Oh, thank goodness. I couldn’t remember your number, Jenny. There’s been a slight change. I don’t have my phone anymore. It was confiscated by the state police as evidence. I’m calling you from my boyfriend, Dillon’s phone.”

“Boyfriend,” she says, with a giggle.

“It’s a long story.”   

“Did he get arrested?” she asks.

“Not yet, they’re testing some evidence. It should just be a few days,” I say, and look up at Dillon who’s biting his lip. “So, listen, I need a new iPhone sent to my momma’s house. Just have it overnighted.”

“Sure thing.”

“Thank you, Jenny, for all your help.”

“No problem,” she says.

“Talk to you tomorrow,” I say, before I go.

I look up at Dillon through my lashes. I bite my thumbnail to calm my heartbeat. It feels like an animal beating on the cage of bones it’s housed in.

“Dillon, did you see the bruise on Renae’s collarbone?”

“No,” he says, squinting in confusion.

“I mouthed the words, ‘does he know,’ and she nodded yes.”

“Well, we’re just going to have to be extra careful the next few days ‘till they arrest him. I don’t think he’s coming to the wake, so we don’t have to worry right now. I know my momma will be there. Nobody could keep her away, but I don’t think he’ll let Renae come without him.”

“Okay, we’ll be careful.”

Everybody I’ve ever known and many I’ve never met but have known me from afar are at my momma’s house after the funeral. My momma’s two brothers. My daddy’s brother and two other sisters besides Aunt Lotty, who helps me make my favorite casserole.

She used to fix this for me all the time when I lived with her—it’s comfort food made of potatoes with cream of mushroom soup, garlic, and onions.  Almost everything else has meat in it, so I’m glad for this. There’s just so much food, so much chatter, so many stories about Momma. It’s a bit overwhelming—but I know all their hearts are in the right place.

As I check in with my brothers, I catch Dillon talking to Miss Robbins, Claire, I mean. Even though she looks disappointed when he hugs her, as she walks away she comes up and gives me a hug.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” she says, but she doesn’t look me in the eye. As she’s walking out the door, I realize I’m hoping she finds someone—someone good who loves her back. Even though she hit me with a door, I’d hate for her to be lonely for long.

Dot arrives carrying food, just as Dillon said she would. Renae isn’t with her.

“Where’s Renae?” I ask her nonchalantly as we cut pieces of cake for the kids at the kitchen table.

“Well, truth be told, honey, Donnie said she cain’t come ‘cause he wadn’t comin’.”

“Is everything okay?” I ask. The concern is real, although she’s not going to guess my real reasons.

“That boy’s just got too much’a his daddy in ‘im,” she says, looking far off in thought. “Always wants his life to be like a game’a checkers that he’s a’ winnin’. ‘Cept when the pieces don’t do as he wants, he thinks forcin’ things is the best way.”

 I stand here deciphering her message remembering that she was beaten by her husband, too. “Just too much like his daddy,” she says, and hands little Joe a piece of chocolate cake.

I worry about Renae. What her night will be like makes my fingers cringe up. I’ve got to call Officer Howard and warn him about what Donnie might know. About the bruises. I’m looking for Dillon so I can use his phone when I hear something that catches my attention.

“They got the permit. We’ve got to go up there first thing in the mornin’.”

 I recognize the voice. The first time I’d heard it, he was demanding respect for the lady who was trying to get people to realize how bad mountaintop coal mining would be for Ansted. It’s Reverend Morris. He’s dressed in black. His glasses rest on his nose and he looks up from them to find me standing next to Dot.

“Reverend Morris,” I say, sticking my hand out to meet him half way.

“Miss Sparks,” he says. “I’m so sorry ‘bout your momma.”

“Oh, thank you. But, uh, what were you saying about going up there tomorrow morning?”

“I didn’t wanna trouble you with it. Not here, now.”

“What’s going on?” I ask. “Dillon!” I say, waving him over.

Dillon excuses himself from the older woman he’s talking to.  I recognize her from church.

“Hello Reverend. Thank you for coming,” he says, shaking his hand.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to tell you all this right now,” Reverend Morris says.

“What’s going on?” Dillon asks.

“The permit was granted today. The coal company is going to start the demolition ‘a the mountain tomorrow afternoon.”

“I thought we had until next week,” Dillon says, shaking his head, and putting his hand through his stubborn hair.

“What time do you need us there?” I ask.

“The earlier the better,” the Reverend admits.

“Sadie,” Dillon says, “this is not going to happen.”

“But I promised my momma,” I say, throwing my hands down in defiance. “That’s all she wanted. That’s the only thing she asked me to do for her and I’m going to do it.”

“Sadie,” Dillon says, grabbing my arm and taking me past the crowd and into my old room.

“My brother is going to be there—and after what happened today, he knows.”

“No! He’s not taking another thing from me,” I say. “He’s taken everything else. Not this. This is for my momma.”

“No,” he says. “You’re staying home, Sadie. Any other day after he’s in jail. Not tomorrow.”

“Dillon. I’m going up on that mountain tomorrow. I’m doing this for her. It’s your choice. You can either help me, or you can stay home.”

“What a selfish, selfish thing to say,” he whispers because it burns coming out. If he’d yelled it, it would have been aflame.

“But don’t you see?” I say, wiping the tears away, the kind that come out in anger. “If I stay home, he’s won. He raped me. He took everything from me that day. He’s caught me in my dreams all these years. He’s threatened me again and again. He wins every time I act out of fear over what he’s done to me already.”

I walk over to the bed. The flowers Dillon gave me days ago are still on the bed where I’d left them in my rush to hide the panties. I’d forgotten the beauty in life due to the fear. Another life lesson. Another piece of evidence about how I’ve lived my life in constant alarm. I pick them up, touch one of the petals and it crumbles to dust.

 “If he is stupid enough to try and attack me up on that mountain in front of all those people, this thing is over for good and he’s finally going to be behind bars.”

“It’s a risk I don’t want to take, Sadie. If he does something to you again... I’ve got to keep you safe,” he says, pushing my hair out of my face with the tip of his finger.

“But if he really knows he’s caught, nothing will keep him away. It could be in our sleep tonight. It could be a surprise attack or a public one so he could go down in a gunfight. Who knows?” Dillon looks puzzled. He rubs his chin.

“But if I stay home, the control he has over me, I swear, it’ll never go away. This is me taking my life back. Don’t you see?” I say, holding the dead flowers, wishing they were alive.

“I understand,” he says. “I do. But we both have to have our guns. We stay with the group the whole time,” he says, holding my hand.

“Yes. And we need to tell Officer Howard what’s going on so he can help us, too,” I say.

“And the state police. We need to call them,” he responds.

“There’s going to be media there, police. It might be the safest place to be,” I say, and he nods.

“So, we’re going to do this?”

“We’re going to do this together,” he says, and pulls me into his chest. I have so much to do. I have to write the press release. I need to have Jenny start contacting the media; but for this moment, I just let Dillon hold me.

And as I look at the flowers, I realize, there’s no place I’d rather be.

Chapter Thirty—Across The Mountain

I tap my toe on the wood floor in Momma’s living room waiting for the right time to leave. We’ve got to make all of our preparations for Hands Across The Mountain tomorrow morning. There are still so many people here, family members and people from church, that leaving now would seem rude.

Dillon’s been talking to my brothers about momma and about being more involved in their lives. He’s exuding nervous energy though, and sometimes when he says something to them, it’s too loud, but they don’t seem to mind.

Aunt Lotty comes into the living room from the kitchen. I’m sure she’s washed a whole heap of dishes. Her hands look pruney. 

“What’s goin’ on, Sadie?” she asks me.

“Just a lot going on.”

“Is it being around all these people?”

“No, Aunt Lotty. I found out earlier today that Gauley Mountain is going to be demolished tomorrow. Have you heard of mountaintop coal mining?”

“I have, yes. I read an article about it. Our Gauley? That’s horrible,” she says, her face scrunched up in protest as she sits down in the chair across from the couch.

“I really need to start writing my press release.”

“Your what?”

“Well, Dillon and I are going to try and stop it.”

“Well, honey, that’s really nice of you to write something for them.”

“No, I mean, I’m going up on the mountain tomorrow, too.” The look on her face changes from oh-that’s-nice to what-the-heck?

“This isn’t like you at all, Sadie. You’re usually so safe. So controlled. This sounds reckless.”

“A lot has changed since I’ve been back,” I say, looking over to Dillon, wishing I were holding his hand.

“Yes, I see. But this is dangerous, isn’t it?”

“I just can’t stand by and watch the mountain I grew up on raped and emptied,” I say, louder than I’d expected. With Aunt Lotty, I’ve always felt comfortable enough to speak my mind. But now I’ve I caught Missy’s attention. She stands there for a moment, and then walks over to us, crosses her arms and glowers down at me.

“Missy, don’t start. I’m not going to change my mind,” I say, flicking my eyes away from her and squaring my jaw. In the corner of my eye, I see her arms uncross, and it seems like she uncoils and relaxes. When I move my eyes up, she looks vulnerable. Sad.

“Missy?” I ask, confused.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt, Sadie.”
That’s what this is about?

“I won’t. We’ll be careful. I have daddy’s gun.”

“But now you’re stayin’ here. People ain’t gonna like it if you take sides.”

 “Aren’t you comin’ back to California?”  Aunt Lotty asks.

“No, I’m not. I know it’s a shock, but I’ve decided to move here. Dillon bought us a house.”

“You’re movin’ back here?” she asks, her eyebrows furrowed.

“I’m not getting run out of here this time. Plus, we’re in love,” I say. I feel the blush come across my cheeks in a warm wave.

“Sadie, that’s great news,” she says. “But isn’t, I mean, the man who, you know... He’s never been caught, has he?” she asks, in a soft concerned tone.

“Not yet.”

“Yet?” Aunt Lotty says, her eyebrows shooting up.

“It should be just a few days.”

“What are you talkin’ ‘bout, Sadie? You told? Who did you tell?” asks Missy, sitting down next to me.