Saint Nicholas (6 page)

“Shhh,” he said delicately into my ear. “It’s okay. Don’t be scared, I got you. I’m here now, baby. I’ll take care of you, okay? I’ll take care of you.”

I nodded, crying for a few more minutes until I felt my strength and composure returning. Nicholas released his grip on me and pulled back, taking my cheeks in his hands. We stared at one another for the longest time, blocking everything else out. Shakes, the honking of car horns off in the distance, people yelling at one another. Hell’s Kitchen is a symphony of sound, but in that moment it was just the two of us.

Without saying a word, Nicholas leaned in and kissed me. I followed his lead when he opened his mouth, parting my lips with his. He breathed into me and I moaned—whimpered—at how good it felt to take him all in. My nerves were shot, and he must’ve felt me trembling, because he pulled away and rubbed my shoulders when all I wanted him to do was keep going, but he never took his eyes off mine.

“Geez you two,” I heard Shakes say. “Get a room.”

And then Nicholas laughed, placing his forehead against mine before whispering once again, “I’ll take care of you.”

SIX

-
Nicholas
-

It was a long, hard summer. Sarah and I spent most of it together, after I’d told her she needed some female friends to distract her father from believing she was with me for most of it. I set her up with a girl I knew, Angie, who’d act as Sarah’s alibi. She’d go home with her, drop her off, and let her pops think Sarah was with her all afternoon instead of me. Only her mother knew the truth, but the funny thing is, Sarah and Angie ended up becoming best friends anyway, so it eventually ended up feeling like we weren’t lying, because Sarah and Angie
were
actually hanging out on the days when I wasn’t available.

I introduced her to my mother about a month after that day on the roof, when she laid it all out for me. I knew what I was getting into, but I wasn’t scared, just angry that I couldn’t do more for her. Mom took to her quite well, despite the fact Sarah never said much and was very shy around people she didn’t know. She loosened up over time, but never enough for her to feel like she could put her guard down at my apartment, even though I never told my mother what was going on with her at home.

She liked Helena well enough, though. The two of them got along great. Sometimes when I’d watch them interact, I got the feeling that Sarah was enjoying being a kid for the first time. Like, they’d act on one another’s level, even though Sarah was six years older than my sister. It was cute, and adorable, and when Helena was gone I’d pull Sarah into my arms and kiss her just like that day I’d kissed her on the roof, only with less crying.

That was another thing the summer brought with it: make out sessions. It was the first time either of us had ever been with another person, and when Shakes or Angie or Helena weren’t around and it was just the two of us, we’d take the opportunity to relish in each other’s bodies. We both caught on real fast to what the other liked. Sarah enjoyed when I kissed her neck and felt all around her body with my fumbling hands, and as for me? I loved when she’d rub me through the fabric of my clothing, making me so hard it felt like I’d burst at the seams.

We only chanced removing our clothes one time, when my mother and Helena had gone out for the day to visit my Aunt Gloria over in Jersey. I feigned sick, and Sarah had come over to find me in an empty apartment, and we immediately started kissing as soon as the front door shut and we stumbled back into my bedroom. We explored one another with our tongues and lips, our hands and fingers, and though I’d like to say it lasted all day, being young and with no self control we lost it pretty quick and were soon panting in a mess of kisses and touches that sent both of us into a frenzy until we climaxed in each other’s arms, but we never went all the way. As much as we both wanted to—and God how I wanted nothing more than to feel what it was like inside her—we were too scared.

It was never about the sex, though. It was about being connected. We spent just as much time making out as we did up on my roof shooting the breeze, taking about the future. I learned that at one point Sarah wanted to be a veterinarian, which I thought was totally cool, but now she wasn’t sure. Though the idea of opening up her own bookstore was gaining steam.

“You can do anything you want to do,” I’d tell her, and she’d look at me with a twinkle in her eye, maybe even going so far as to believe that was true, but I don’t think she ever believed me, even though I wasn’t just paying her lip service. I meant it. She could do what she wanted in life, all she had to do was get out of that torture chamber she lived in, which I told her I’d help her with when we got older.

I fell hard for the girl who’d become my everything. Writing stories and poems about her, talking to mom about the way she made me feel. So much so that mom told me one day that she thought I was past the point of infatuation and was actually in love with Sarah, and though I liked the feeling, it made me nervous because we’d never said that to one another yet, even though I’m sure she felt it too.

By the time September rolled we were in a nice routine, hiding everything from her father. That didn’t stop him from beating on her twice a week, of course, but at least she had some place to go in the aftermath. A safe place, where she knew I’d take care of her as best I could.

And when school started back up, I found out just how in love with her I really was, and I wasn’t afraid to let her know it.

* * *

“Hey Nicky.”

I spun around at the sound of her sweet voice, smiling the way I always smiled when I saw her: like a lovesick hound dog. She wore a long, flowing skirt that went down to her ankles, and a nice pink blouse that was covered with a cardigan to keep Sarah warm from the chilly bite of October, and to cover her bruises.

“Hey babes,” I said, leaning in to kiss her. I brushed her on the arm and she winced, pulling gently away. “You okay?”

She nodded. “I don’t want to talk about that.”

We kissed again as the locker next to mine slammed shut and Shakes told us to get a room, like he always did when he caught us in a lip lock. Angie soon joined us, saying hello to Sarah and stealing Shake’s Yankees cap. Neither Sarah or I had said anything yet, but it was obvious from the way those two acted around one another that they’d eventually hook up.

“What’s goin’ on?” Angie asked. “We heading to the movies tonight or what?”

“You in?” I asked, throwing my arm around Sarah.

She didn’t say anything, and I could see the look of worry in her eyes. Now that school had started back up her father was more cautious of who she went out with, but Angie had been over there enough times that it shouldn’t be a problem for her to sneak away, as long as he thought Sarah was with her and no one else.

“Hey, it’ll be okay,” I said, squeezing her carefully to avoid hurting her fresh bruises. “Just play it like we always do.”

“Yeah, okay,” she said.

“Excellent,” Shakes added. “What are we going to see, that new horror flick? What’s it called?
Evil Zombies 7
, or something like that?”

“No way,” Angie smacked him with his own hat. “I wanna see
Love Sick
.”

“Sarah?” I asked.

She shrugged. “I’m good with either, as long as I’m with you.”

Shakes stuck a finger down his throat, pretending to vomit. Angie kissed Sarah on the top of her head and wiped an imaginary tear from her eye. “You two are the cutest, you know that?”

“What can I say,” I said. “She’s my girl.”

First bell rang, and it was time to disperse so we wouldn’t be late for our classes. I kissed Sarah goodbye one last time and watched her head down the hall.

A group of guys were walking in the opposite direction, and one of them shot her a look, spinning around and whistling. When they got closer, I heard him say to his friends, “Man, that chick used to be so freaky, now look at her. I’d definitely tap that ass.”

I’m not a violent person by nature, but when I heard that I completely lost it. The guy was at least two inches taller and had about thirty pounds on me, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was protecting Sarah’s honor, and there was no way I was going to let anyone disrespect her like that.

Without saying anything, I charged him from behind and threw him into the lockers. A crowd immediately began to gather around us in the halls. He spun around and threw a punch, but I ducked it and kneed him in the gut. When he doubled over, I delivered another knee to his face that broke his nose. Everything I’d been holding in up to that point with Sarah’s father—the frustration and anger I felt at not being able to do anything—gushed forth in a fury of punches and kicks that had me seeing red. To me, this guy represented all that had gone wrong in Sarah’s life, and I was hell bent on fixing it.

By the time it was over, dude was laid out on the ground covered in blood. Some of it was on my shirt, and I felt arms grasping for me from behind. I kicked and screamed as they pulled me back, and then a thick forearm wrapped around my neck, pretty much rendering me immobile.

“Rossi! Get ahold of yourself.”

It was my English teacher, Mr. Hammond. At the sound of his voice I stopped struggling, and for the first time looked around at all the faces that had just watched me kick the crap out of some guy I didn’t even know. Shakes was there with a bewildered look in his eyes, and Angie stood next to him, horrified.

I looked past them though, past all of them, because behind the crowd, standing next to my locker all alone, was Sarah. Leaning up against it with her arms folded over her chest and a smile on her face. I blew her a kiss before Mr. Hammond hauled me away down to the principal’s office.

SEVEN

-
Sarah
-

“Suspended, Nicky? What the fuck?”

I stood next to him as Nicholas’ mother ripped into him. I insisted on going home with him so Mrs. Rossi knew it wasn’t all his fault, even though it technically was. He didn’t have to beat the shit out of that guy, but after hearing why he’d done it, I was glad he did.

“What the hell’s going on with you two, huh?” She looked at me and I blushed, turning my attention to Helena, who was sitting on the couch trying to seem inconspicuous, but like all little sisters I knew she was secretly listening in to the conversation. How could she not be? Nicholas’ mom was loud enough for the whole building to hear.

“Ma, she had nothing to do with this. If you’d have heard what that guy said, you’d have done the same thing.”

“What?” she asked. “What did he say?”

He looked at me and I shrugged. “Might as well tell her.”

“He said that Sarah was freaky, but he’d like to tap…to tap that ass.”

Mrs. Rossi stood there for a moment, looking from Nicholas to me several times with a stone cold look of indifference on her face. Then out of nowhere she started laughing. A small giggle at first, but it slowly filled the room and echoed off the bare walls. He and I glanced at once another, wondering what the joke was.

Tears streamed down Mrs. Rossi’s face, and she placed her hand on her son’s shoulder, squeezing it tight. “Oh—oh man, Nicky. You have no idea, do you?”

I noticed his ears turn red as he snapped, “No idea about what, ma?”

She came and took my face in her hands and pinched my cheeks. “Look at this girl, son. Look at her.”

I darted my eyes over to him, a bit worried that Mrs. Rossi was losing it.

“She’s beautiful. Those big green eyes, that hair, her skin. She’s gorgeous.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” he winked. “But what’s that got to do with anything?”

“My point is,” she let go of me and stood us next to one another, “there are going to be a lot of guys that come on to Sarah. She’s stunning. If you don’t learn to get used to that, you’re going to be missing a whole lot of school young man, and trust me, the punishment you get at home will be a hell of a lot worse than anything they could ever give you.”

“So what you’re saying is that I should just let them do that? Talk dirty about her that way? What kind of man would I be if I did that?”

He put his arm around me and I leaned into him, feeling the warmth of his skin next to mine. It never ceased to amaze me how hot he always was, and even though his mother was right there, I got the sudden urge to throw him on the couch and kiss him hard.

“I’m saying you should be proud, and just let it go. Guys are gonna say things, Nicky. It’s what they do. That doesn’t mean anything’s gonna come of it. You’re not going anywhere, right?”

She looked at me and I shook my head. “Not on your life.”

“See? She’s not going anywhere. That feeling you felt when you heard what that guy said, it didn’t come from wanting to protect Sarah’s honor, it came from your own insecurities. You’re afraid someone better is gonna come along and snatch her away from you, but trust me. I see the way she looks at you, and when she says she’s not going anywhere, you better believe it.”

I had to hand it to Mrs. Rossi, she was a hell of a mother. How anyone could turn their anger so quickly into a lesson about life blew me away. I wrapped my arm around Nicholas’s waist and looked up into his eyes, letting him know with just a glance that she was right. From the way he looked back at me, with one of his trademark doofus grins, I could tell he felt a little stupid for overreacting in school earlier, but I loved him for it.

I loved him. God, it felt so good just to think that, even though we’d had yet to say it to one another. I could tell though. From the way he looked at me to the extra lengths he went to just to make sure I was okay after something bad would happen at home; like the way he’d go gentle on me, rubbing my back or kissing me softly, it was obvious his feeling were just as strong for me as mine were for him. Despite everything that’d been happening, it only served to bring us closer together.

“I got it, Ma,” he said.

“Good.”