Authors: Delora Dennis
“As I said, I decided it’s my turn to be selfish - but probably not in the way you’re thinking.”
That got his attention.
“I’ve decided it’s time for me to take matters into my own hands.”
Dave slowly sat up in his chair as he watched Kay feel around under the table for her purse. A look of terror passed over his face when he realized she’d found what she was looking for and began to slowly pull it out.
“Kay, please don’t do this,” he pleaded. “I think we can resolve our issues without resorting to violence.”
He ducked when her arm flew out from under the table. A white, letter-sized envelope sat in the pinch of her thumb and index finger.
Dave looked as if he was going to have to excuse himself to go home and change his underwear.
Kay roared with laughter. “Violence? Oh my god. Did you think I was going to shoot you?”
Dave managed a wimpy shrug and a sickly smile.
“Either your conscience is really hurting, or you see me as one crazy bitch.” The laughter continued.
For the next few moments Kay enjoyed a good laugh at Dave’s expense, until he’d had enough. “Alright, Kay. You’ve had your fun. Like you said, let’s get down to business.” He reached for the envelope that had dropped on the table, but Kay slapped it down before he had a chance to pick it up.
“Hang on a minute,” she said. “Before I show you the counter-proposal I’ve drawn up, it’s important for me to explain my whys and wherefores.”
This time Dave couldn’t control himself. He rolled his eyes.
Kay snatched the envelope from the table and got up from her chair. “Ok. I can see we’ve wasted each other’s time. If you can’t keep your agreement to hear me out, why should I believe you’d stick to any new arrangement? Maybe it’ll be better, all the way around, to just abide by the judge’s ruling.”
“Wait, Kay. Please,” Dave said with alarm. “It was just a reflex. I shouldn’t have done that. Please sit down. I really do want to hear what you have to say.”
Kay’s heart was pounding and tears were stinging the corners of her eyes. She hated his ability to cut her to shreds with the smallest of gestures. But today, for some strange reason, she was able to hold on to her composure. Maybe it was because she was bolstered by her rare position of power.
Even though every bone in her body was screaming at her to walk right out of that coffee shop, she just couldn’t resist playing out the rest of her hand. For dramatic effect, she hesitated a moment or two, then slowly sat back down. She picked up her coffee cup, peered inside and said, “I need some more coffee.”
Dave jumped up. “Sure. No problem. Let me get it for you.” He took the cup from her hand and rushed to the refill station. Kay smiled to herself, letting the thrill of her new-found authority deliciously cascade over her.
Setting a record for all-time fastest coffee refills, Dave returned to the table and carefully placed the cup in front of Kay. He took his seat with a look on his face that reminded Kay of a cocker spaniel waiting to be petted and praised after returning a tossed stick. Unfortunately for him, a polite, “thanks,” was his only reward.
All it took was a quick sip for Kay to realize she was coffeed-out. She banished the cup to the far side of the table without regard for her eager server’s feelings. If Dave took any offense, it was undetectable.
“So…you were getting ready to tell me about your selfish proposal,” an anxious Dave prompted, then quickly corrected, “I mean, about how and why you came up with a counter proposal.”
Kay found his reddening cheeks quite gratifying.
“Yes…well,” she began, clasping her hands together and placing them on the table. “As I said, I decided it was my turn to be selfish. But the more I thought about it the more I realized it wasn’t as straightforward as all that. It’s true a selfish “no” would get me a pile of cash and some delicious, vengeful satisfaction. Not to mention I’d avoid looking like a first-class chump in front of my family and friends who want to see me stick it to you.”
As quickly, but casually as he could, Dave put his hand over his mouth and nose to stifle a derisive snort.
Good boy.
“But then I realized saying “yes” would also be selfish. I’d get a big fat ego stroke by swooping in to play the hero to my poor, floundering ex-husband - not to mention an even bigger pile of cash after five years.”
Dave continued to sit and listen, while doing his best to control his reactions.
“But the more I thought about it, the more I realized both selfish choices leave a lot to be desired. They just aren’t selfish enough, if you know what I mean.”
Dave sat back. “No, Kay, I don’t know what you mean. In fact, I’m completely lost.”
“Well, the thing is, I’m still a single parent with two girls who require a lot of time and attention. The help I asked you for back in September hasn’t gone away.” Kay let out a little chuckle and said, “You probably don’t realize it but I got spoiled by how well our original agreement worked in the beginning. It really made my life so much easier.” Then she sighed and said, “If only you’d stuck to it, we wouldn’t have had to go through all this crap and we wouldn’t be sitting here right now.”
Now it was Dave’s turn to sigh. “Kay, I wish you could appreciate my situation. I have demands pulling me from twenty different directions.”
Kay just shook her head. “How the hell do you expect me to appreciate your situation when all I get are lies and half-truths? Look, I did my best to work with you until you went and shit on everything. It’s not my fault you have a habit of ruining the good things in your life.”
It wasn’t Kay’s intention to go down the road of, once again, defending their marriage. She knew she had to keep things on track; she picked up the envelope, opened the flap and pulled out a one page, double-spaced, type-written form. “I’ve drawn up a counter-proposal, that I believe, not only meets my parental assistance needs, but satisfies my selfish desires, as well.”
She handed the paper to Dave, who snatched it out of her hand.
“I realize I’m taking a big a chance by not having it drawn up by my attorney and I’m sure your lawyer wouldn’t be too keen on having you sign this without his review and approval. I just couldn’t see adding anymore to our already-bloated legal bills.
Kay stayed quiet and allowed Dave to read all the stipulations she’d laid out in exchange for her acceptance of the deferral of his outstanding back child support.
THIS AGREEMENT
(the “Agreement”) is entered into effective as of ____________ _____, 20__ by and between
Dave Noland
(“Party#1”) and
Kay Manning
(“Party#2”).
In consideration of the mutual covenants set forth herein and other good and valuable consideration, the parties agree as follows:
I.
{Fees, Payments, etc.}
. Party#1 agrees to pay Party#2
Ten thousand dollars ($10,000) at twelve percent (12%) interest deferred over five (5) year
s.
“
TWEL
…” Dave started to shout, but looked around the room and quickly got control of himself. “Twelve percent?” he said, slightly choking on the words.
Kay knew her demand for more interest was going to piss him off, but she knew she had nothing to lose. If he wanted her cooperation it was going to cost him.
Dave’s eyes went cold. “Looks like your friends and family are going to get their wish. You just love sticking it to me, don’t you?”
“No. What I’m loving is finally standing up to you and not being the push over you were counting on. If you choose to see it as me “sticking it” to you, I guess there’s nothing I can do about that. Please continue.”
The rest of the agreement was basically a written statement of their original agreement with a few new stipulations:
II. {
Other terms/conditions
}. 1.
Party #1 agrees to pay one half of Cory’s tuition for her school’s Summer Honors program.
Kay knew she should have asked for the whole amount, but her over-developed sense of fairness overruled her.
2.
The reduction in child support during the summer visitation will be reduced by 1/3 instead of the court ordered 2/3, since Cory is not participating
.
3.
Party #1 agrees to make arrangements to have Cory picked up from summer school and driven home
.
5.
Party #2 reserves the right to ask for Party #1’s financial assistance with any unexpected expenditures relating to the children
.
6.
The parties agree to meet on a quarterly basis to review the agreement and make changes as needed.
7.
Any egregious breach of the agreed stipulations by Party #1 will render this agreement null and void and the original court order will be reinstated.
“Well?” Kay asked, beginning to get a little anxious.
“Why didn’t you ask for this stuff when we were in mediation?” Dave said.
He’s got a point there.
“I don’t know,” Kay said with a shrug. “I guess it was because I was so upset over what the girls told the mediator.”
Invoking the girls’ interview was a convenient dodge - and a low blow. The truth was Kay hadn’t even formulated the requests until after Dave had asked for the deferment.
With his resolve to be good wearing off, Dave looked back at the paper in his hand. “Well, it’s obvious you never went to law school…Applicable Law; Construction…Counterparts…Parties Bound…Mutual Understanding…Force Majeure,” Dave read under his breath. “Where did you come up with this cheesy form?”
He was trying to embarrass her, but it wasn’t working. “It’s a template I downloaded from the internet,” she said matter-of-factly, “and it suits the purpose just fine.”
Dave continued to look at the paper as if he was giving it serious consideration; Kay knew he was stalling. Since there wasn’t anything he could reasonably object to, he tried the only delay tactic left to him. Patting his chest with both hands he said, “I don’t have a pen.”
“Not necessary, “ Kay said. “We’re going across the street to the bank to sign it in front of a notary.”
Kay returned the form to the envelope, gathered her purse and with a clear sense of purpose, set out to lead a two-person parade toward the exit of the coffee shop.
“Hold up, Kay” Dave said, looking at his watch. “I didn’t realize it was so late. I promised Sandy I’d watch Little Dave while she ran some errands. Look. Why don’t I meet you at the bank first thing Monday morning?”
Kay cocked her head, ever so slightly, to one side and smiled
. Gotta run it past Mommy first?
The red tinge from a few minutes earlier made a reappearance across Dave’s cheeks.
“Alright, “Kay replied. “Except let’s meet at the south side branch of Community Fidelity Credit Union. It’s on my way to work. Say 9:00?”
“I’ll be there,” he said. The relief in his voice was difficult to miss.
With nothing more to say, Kay simply gestured “good-bye” and hurried to the Ladies room to give her bursting bladder some much needed relief. When she came out she was glad to see Dave was gone. She headed for the door, anxious to get home, but was stopped by a worker behind the counter.
“Excuse me Ma’am,” the young woman said.
“Yes?” Kay replied, wondering if Dave had forgotten to pay for the coffees.
Wouldn’t put it past him to stick me with the bill.
“The man you were sitting with asked me to give you this.” She picked up a small, white styro-foam to-go box and held it out to Kay. Kay took it from the woman and looked inside. It was piece of banana bread.
It was all she could do to keep from melting, right then and there, into a big puddle of delight - not because she was going to get to eat another piece of delicious baked goodness, but because Dave had done something thoughtful and personal just for her. And this time it couldn’t be about ulterior motives. She had been clear and tough about what it was going to take to get her cooperation. This had to be a gift from his heart.
We really are still friends.
Kay hurried toward the corner cross walk with a lighter step, but fighting with the top of the styro-foam box to keep it from popping open. She had almost reached the small group of people waiting for the light to change when she spotted Dave at the front of the pack. There was still time to catch him and thank him for his sweet gesture. Trying to be as non-intrusive as possible, she carefully inched up through the tiny gathering until she was standing directly behind him. She was about to reach up to tap him on the shoulder when she realized he was on his cell phone.
“Yeah…I finished sooner than I expected. How does an early lunch at Le Chantecler sound? Say 11:30?” Dave said. His voice was dripping with syrupy sweetness.
Hmmm…French food as penance for spending time with me. Très veule.
Pause, then a chuckle.
“Wait’ll you see the stupid proposal she wants me to sign. You’re right. She really is an idiot.”
Pause.
Dave laughed. Then he lowered his voice and said in a throaty whisper, “Me too.”