Same/Difference (The Depth of Emotion #4) (19 page)

“Falcon? It’s Paige.” The only thing I heard was the sound of my nervously rapid pulse. “Are you there?”

“I’m here.” His tone was flat, revealing no hint of emotion.

“How are you?”

“I’m fine.”

This wasn’t working out the way I had hoped. My nerves were on edge and he wasn’t making this easy, so I got to the point.

“I don’t want to bother you, so I’ll make it quick. I wanted to let you know that I’m having papers drawn up for our annulment. You’ll be receiving them soon.”

“Fine.” The chill in his voice cut deep.

“Fine.” I waited, but he said nothing. If he didn’t want to talk then neither did I. “I guess that’s it. I hope you enjoyed Vegas. Take care of yourself.” I was about to end the call when he spoke.

“Really, Paige? That’s it? Like nothing happened? Because no matter how I try to wrap my head around it I still don’t understand you. I’ve tried to make sense out of what happened but no matter how I try I still can’t figure you out. After all the shit you went through with Marisol, you gave the police everything they needed to deal with her. So why? Explain to me how you could let Blake get away with the shit he pulled on you? He’s a menace and I tried to tell you that but my opinion meant jack. You kicked me to the curb. I know I can be a cold-hearted bastard but you…I wanted to protect you. I thought we had something. Was it all an act?”

His honesty caught me off guard but he would never understand. “It’s just me. Don’t take it personally.”

“Don’t take it personally? Maybe I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t dragged that bastard off of you. I wanted to kill him. I was the one who held you while you fell apart. I couldn’t help but take it personally, but you shut me down.”

I heard the hurt in his voice and it stabbed me in the heart. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. Maybe I wasn’t ready to talk to him. He made me feel like crying and I didn’t want to do that. I almost hung up on him.

“Shit!” he interrupted. “I didn’t mean to be a prick and go off on you like that.”

“It’s okay.” My voice was barely a whisper.

“You made your decision. I’m living with it, but I still don’t understand it. All I wanted to do was…” He paused. “I mean, I can understand it a little bit if he means more to you than I thought he did
—
and even then, I still think letting him get away with it was wrong.”

“He didn’t mean more to me
—
and he still doesn’t.” I sighed deeply. No matter how uncomfortable this discussion made me, it needed to be dealt with. “Can we talk?”

“It’s been a shitty week.” His tone was strained. I could hear his shoes scuffling sound on the hardwood as he paced.

“I’m not asking you to accept how I handled it, but at least give me a chance to explain.”

“Today’s not a good day.”

My heart dropped. I had just about given up when he started again.

“But how about I call you tomorrow?”

The first few conversations after that were tentative. At first, we both acted like we were walking on eggshells but, eventually, we relaxed a little. I told him about work and the baby; and he shared with me about going fishing on the lake and the business. Each time we talked after that got easier. Usually I was stressed because I had more showings than I had agents, but no matter how tense I was he popped my anxiety filled balloon. Before I knew it our calls were more and more frequent and less and less uptight. I felt the shift as we relaxed into each other’s routine. Today would be the first time we had seen each together since Vegas. I had no idea how it would go but I ached for what we had. I couldn’t wait to see him. I hoped for the best, but expected the worst, and not because of Falcon.

Blake was coming.

I hadn’t told anyone about what had happened, but now I was second-guessing that decision. While Karas still slept in my arms I mulled over the reasons but, just the same as I reasoned back then, I didn’t know how much of it was Blake and how much was the alcohol. I hadn’t heard anything from him, which I hoped was because he had been too ashamed and embarrassed to talk to me. The only other option was that he felt no remorse at all. If that was the case, and I told Declan and Aria what he’d done, it would completely ruin his friendship with them. If I was wrong, and he had no regrets at all, today wasn’t the day to expose him. My friends had gone through so much to have this little girl and today I desperately wanted to help them make wonderful memories. My biggest fear was having Falcon and Blake in the same room. I might be able to ignore Blake, but that would be impossible for Falcon.

Low voices echoed in the sanctuary. I pressed my lips to Karas’ forehead and inhaled her soft, baby scent.

“She is sweet, isn’t she?” Aria laid her hand on Karas’ chest. At the sound of her mother’s voice, she woke up and looped her little hand around her mother’s fingers. “It’s hard to believe she’s mine.”

“And mine.” The confession came from her proud father. Declan stood almost reverently behind his wife. He kissed her head as they both looked over at their daughter. Aria tucked her head under his chin and leaned into him. He spoke so low that only the two of us could hear.

“Everyone’s here, babe. We’re going to get started.”

Aria and I walked around to the baptismal font as the priest welcomed everyone to the ceremony. I cradled Karas in my arms while Carter joined me so that we could stand as her godparents. The ceremony was as beautiful as the baby and flowed seamlessly as we committed ourselves and Karas was baptized into the faith. She didn’t even cry when Father Metzger introduced the newest addition to the church body. The church erupted into applause and Aria and Declan exited to the vestibule. Everyone greeted them to offer their well wishes and congratulations. The crowd thinned out quickly as everyone headed to the Sinclair home for the festivities.

A
lthough the weatherman predicted rain, the day couldn’t have been more beautiful. Under a warm sky, a gentle sea breeze played at the hem of my dress as I walked up to the door. Once again, Declan had allowed his home to be transformed for a milestone celebration. It was the place that had grown to be a home, where their friendships originated and everyone who cared for them felt loved and accepted. The last time a big occasion had taken place here was for the wedding. The house was enveloped within a soft blanket of creamy white sand looking directly on the ocean. In the afternoon sun, the house was infused with light. Inside, the gauzy sheer curtains danced in the light wind. The party planner Declan and Aria had hired reflected their personalities perfectly and had done a beautiful job with the food and decorations. There was one, distinctive fingerprint that was recognized by everyone and that was the cake. Declan had the baker make an edible storybook castle for his perfect, little princess.

While they got everyone started with food and drinks I was left with our sweet girl. I had tucked myself away in a quiet corner and had rocked the baby to sleep.

“Hey.” Declan came up beside me and spoke quietly. “I’m going to take her from you and lay her down so you can mingle with everyone.” He saw my reluctance but wouldn’t take no for an answer. “C’mon now. Don’t argue with me. You’ve been helping us all day.” He took Karas from me, cradling her in his arms as he kissed her.

“God, she’s a sweetheart.” It was obvious as he gazed at his daughter’s face that he was smitten. His expression was filled with such adoration that it brought to mind something Aria told me; that, unless you see it and feel it for yourself, it’s nearly impossible to describe the love a parent feels for a child. I could only hope that one day I would find out firsthand.

As Declan disappeared into the bedroom with the baby, I made my way outside to the porch. It was my favorite part of their house. I couldn’t shake all of the foreboding feelings I was having about the day. I immediately relaxed under the sound of a flock of seagulls. As they ran in and out with the remnant edges of the waves, they took a little of my worry with them. The sounds of the seashore calmed me. They soothed my inner spirit. Although I also lived on the ocean, there was something special about this particular view from their home. I was reminded of the story that Declan told of the first time he saw Aria. He had shared it many times. He said he would always remember how beautiful she was that day as she let the waves crash over her feet, that time stood still. It was a hopelessly romantic story that I didn’t appreciate at the time, but my feelings for Falcon made me realize that there was still a spark of a romantic inside of me. I was thinking of him as I breathed in the pungent salt air.

“Nice party for a baby, wouldn’t you say?”

I cringed as I felt his hot breath against my neck. Memories of him came in like a flood. His voice grated my nerves and my ears and a sickening anxiety made me nauseous. My focus on the serene scene evaporated in the company of Blake’s evil presence. For months I had tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, but that all vanished the moment he opened his mouth. He was the same leach he was when he attacked me.

“You’re looking as gorgeous as ever.” He pressed his cheek near the back of my head and I stiffened. I felt dirty as he inhaled long and deep. “Mmmm, you smell good, too.” I turned around, ready to slap him.

“I would have thought you’d seen enough of me in Vegas to divert your interest to other, less
freakish
, sights. Or did you forget about that?”

He was stunned by my quiet aggression. His memory of that night may have been tested, but mine was perfectly clear. He flashed an evil smile.

“All the more reason for me to show you how sorry I am.”

I was disgusted by his cavalier attitude and began to walk into the house and rejoin the party but, as I went by him, he grabbed the top part of my arm. Instantly furious, I tried to yank myself away from his slimy fingers.

“Get your hands off me before I scream!” I spat the words through gritted teeth. He wasn’t disturbed at all and grinned while he pulled me closer. There was an underlying threat in his tone.

“Now, Paige. You don’t want to make a scene, do you?”

An almost eerie calm came over me and I and narrowed my eyes at him.

“Get. Your. Damn. Hands. Off. Me.”

I raised my hand to slap him in the face, but I barely had time to draw my arm back. A hand, much larger than mine, flew in front of me and clamped Blake’s wrist. As I was released, he bent over in pain. Stunned, I looked up to see the face of my rescuer.

Falcon.

He cocked his head toward me. “You okay?”

I nodded. He turned his attention back to Blake.

“Seems you have a problem with your hands, Matthews.” He twisted Blake’s hand into a painfully backward position, forcing him down to his knee. Although I could tell he was furious, I saw a hint of satisfaction in his eyes.

Just then a crowd broke into laughter inside the house and I was reminded of where I was.

“Please.” I looked up at Falcon with pleading eyes. “I don’t want to ruin their day.”

“I’m sure he was counting on that.” He looked back at Blake. “What were you trying to do? Kiss and make up since you tried to rape her?”

Falcon’s expression didn’t soften. He didn’t take his eyes off of Blake and made him cry out. He bent Blake’s hand back until it looked like it would break. Blake’s cry was only masked by the laughter inside.

“Go back in the house, Paige. Now!”

Obediently I did as instructed, mostly because I wanted to divert attention from the two of them.

As I walked into the house I slipped into a comfortable smile. I used my body to keep everyone’s attention inside while Falcon contained the commotion outside. I used peripheral vision to keep an eye on Falcon. He was explosive. He had released Blake but his jaw was tight as he glared at him. I watched as he escorted him off the porch and around the house. Then a sudden motion from inside caught my attention. Carter was going toward the porch and he looked furious. I quickly intercepted him.

“Carter, please. It’s under control—I promise.” He looked between me and the two men quickly disappearing along the side of the house. I placed my hand on his forearm to assure him that everything was okay. He stilled and we both watched Blake’s car as it took off down the street.

Most of the guests were too engrossed in conversation to notice what was happening outside, but Aimee wasn’t one of them. As a delayed reaction of nausea rolled my stomach, she made her way over to us. The impact of Blake’s imposing behavior hit me and I felt the blood leave my face. I quickly navigated through the crowd to get into the bathroom; Aimee followed me. Although I went in alone, my mind was at ease knowing that she was just outside the door.

I welcomed the brief solitude. Taking a few deep breaths, I fought the commotion that trampled on my insides. I ran my hands and wrists under cold water and I placed them against my flushed cheeks. For the second time, Falcon had averted yet another near fiasco on my behalf. I didn’t expect him to come back. He was livid when he left and I knew him well enough to know that he would let his personal feelings disrupt the party.