Same/Difference (The Depth of Emotion #4) (6 page)

Maybe it was another sign.

He was about to play his last hand when he thought he saw a dash of yellow.
Could that be her?
He swiveled in his chair but was blocked by a cocktail waitress.

“What can I get for you, sir?” She ignored his sudden agitation and smiled sweetly If he had tried to get up he would have knocked the poor woman to the floor. She expertly balanced her tray while standing on stilettos, and his eyes were nearly level with her chest. Her breasts were definitely attention grabbers but if he moved too quickly she could knock him over with them.

“I was just about to leave.” He looked around the waitress to see Paige, but she was nowhere to be found.

Dammit!

Not missing a beat, he nodded to the woman and gave her a megawatt smile.

“It looks like my plans have changed.” He smiled appreciatively. “I’ll take a Bloody Mary.”

“Yes, sir. Be right back.” She sauntered away. He was sure that the exaggerated swing in her backside was for his benefit.

As he waited for his drink, he began to feel the physical effects of his too full schedule over the past few days. He had gone to several meetings and had little sleep. It was catching up with him. His plan was to wait until Paige came into the lobby and act like running into her was a coincidence. Instead, he was nursing a headache from lack of sleep. He ordered the Bloody Mary because the combination of hotel pumped oxygen and smoke were burning his eyes and throat. Once he finished his drink he was going back to his own hotel. He had the information he needed. Paige would be surprised to see him. Hopefully in a good way.

He decided that he wasn’t going to tell her about his little rendezvous with the security office, mainly because he didn’t want to piss her off. Although he’d only known her for a short time, seeing her revived the feelings he had from their few days together. Something about her was different, and it attracted him. Maybe if they’d had a one-night stand he would have gotten her out of his system, but he couldn’t do that because they had too many friends in common and something like that had the potential to bite him on the ass. That was his initial thought. When the weekend was over, he was thankful he didn’t use her for a quick screw because she really seemed like someone he wanted to get to know.
He even liked her name.
Paige.
It was short and sweet and it suited her. He was used to names like
Shayla
and
Krystal
with a
“K”.
He’d even banged a
Bambi,
Trixie,
and twins whose last name was
Starr
. Paige definitely wasn’t like them. He’d bet his last dollar that she wasn’t a
wham, bam, thank you ma’am
kind of girl. She had a different air about her. Not stuck up just more…selective. When he asked her if he could show her around Deep Creek, she gave him a look that tugged at his heart. He was a perfect gentleman around her so she would get the impression that he was a nice guy.
He wasn’t.
While she appreciated the winter scenes around the lake he was inspecting how tightly her jeans hugged her ass. His goal was to get in good with her by feeling her out. He could learn a lot about a person by peeling back a layer or two. Instead he was distracted by the way she made him feel. He felt like a lovesick teenager. All the details he dismissed on other women, he noted. He was fascinated by how the sun filtered through the trees and caught the shine of her brown hair. It found himself comparing it to warm chestnuts when they were pulled fresh from the fire. The braid she wore hugged her neck in shades of red and brown. On someone else the style might look juvenile, but on her he thought it looked damned sexy. They had a good time that day. The more they walked, the less he thought of her as his usual type. He only planned to have her out that day for half an hour, but it turned into a few hours. As they walked, they talked. She was a good conversationalist, interesting, and smart. Unlike most women he knew she was thoughtful and constantly changed the topic to focus more on him than herself. Reluctantly, he took her back to their friends’ house and, when she left, he felt a bit empty. No woman had ever done that. It kind of unnerved him.

“Your drink, sir.” The waitress handed him a glass that was more ice than alcohol but he didn’t care. He slipped a hundred dollar bill to her. When she noticed, her face beamed appreciatively. “Can I get anything else for you?”

“No, darlin.” He drank the Bloody Mary down in one gulp and slammed the glass down on the tray. “I’m done for the day.”

Since the opportunity to intercept Paige was unsuccessful, he decided to call it a day. He was just about to leave when he had a crazy idea. He remembered Paige said her one vice was that she was addicted to coffee. He liked it exactly the same way she did, so he devised a plan to come back in the morning and get two cups. If she passed by him his plan might work. Admittedly, there was a very slim chance of it happening, but it was a small price to pay for the probability.

He might just get lucky.

M
ental note: Take a nap when you change time zones.

It was my first reflection of the day. What happened last night was unacceptable and I refused to let myself get so tired that it would repeat. Whenever I was overtired dark thoughts ruled my judgment. The episode was the first I’d had in a very long time. They were only triggered off by exhaustion and stress and, even though I slept well when it was over, this morning I felt somewhat defeated. No matter how many years passed self-incrimination met my exhaustion and divided me between sanity and stupidity. I became two people when I was fatigued; the little girl who felt responsible for her injuries and the woman she grew up to be. In the middle of them both was a confused person who still felt the hurt of not fitting in. Although it was unlikely to hit me again, a dark veil had already invaded my vacation. I wouldn’t make the mistake of getting so exhausted it would happen again. I’d worked too long and hard to escape its grip and I refused to willingly give it a foothold.

Over the years I’d become somewhat of a health nut to fight back any unhealthy shadows. I put in the time and effort it took to build a healthy body to cancel out negative thoughts. Living a lifestyle that promoted a healthy body and mind worked well for me and fit in nicely with my orderly life. The only time I strayed from my routine was when I was on vacation. Alcohol, at least in the quantities I’d consumed yesterday, wasn’t beneficial to a sensible mind. I should have restricted myself to stick with one, or even two, Mojitos. Unfortunately, I bore the brunt end of my enthusiasm overriding my common sense. It wasn’t the first time I’d exercised bad judgment in Vegas, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. But today I had to be good. After last night’s macabre scene, I needed a break.

I walked over to the window and pulled the curtains aside. It was a beautiful day. The mountain view from my room was spectacular. Sunshine skimmed the edges of the peaks making them look like inverted ice cream cones. Truly, the Coney Island atmosphere of the hotel colored my opinion and my mood and I relaxed into the cozy feel. I walked into the bathroom and grabbed a large towel for a makeshift yoga mat. I stretched out a pose in the stream of light that snuggled me from window to carpet. As I arched my back and bathed in the morning’s color, I bared the stiffness that gripped me like a vise. The strained muscles relaxed with the familiar routine. It hurt good. The tightness in my scarred skin rebelled and then surrendered and, when I was finished, I felt like a different person, longer, leaner, and lighter.

I promised myself that today would be a casual one. I decided on stylishly cuffed skinny jeans, a white, short sleeved, oxford shirt, and black pumps. I had made plans with Liz and my clothes promised I’d be comfortable for them. Following my routine, applying my make-up was next, and I was relieved when I looked at my reflection. I felt whole, unlike last night. There was no more disengagement and I relaxed.

Dipping a brush into a creamy puddle of foundation, I was once again thankful that my faced hadn’t been scarred. Cosmetics could hide a multitude of sins and they were such a guilty pleasure. When I was little, my mom had a silly saying every morning when she opened her make-up bag
; ‘powder and paint makes you pretty when you ain’t’.

My mother helped me to create beauty from ashes and I would be grateful forever. I was so thankful for her. She let me experiment with makeup from the time I was young, and I definitely benefitted from her lessons. I was just a little thing when I would sit in the bathroom and watch her
put on her face
. She used pencils, blush, and lipstick like an artist to create glamorous illusion Sometimes she laid out a magazine featuring an actress made up in a new trend. Mom had an eye for spotting something different, even if it was something as subtle as a different arch in an eyebrow. A few brushstrokes here, a lip line there, and Poof
!
Instant beauty!

With my makeup now complete, I prepared my hairpiece. I was still a little emotional about tearing it off the night before. Ripping my hair out, my own or my ‘falsie’ wasn’t something I was proud of. I didn’t discuss it with anyone. Ever. The hairpiece was made to fit the bald spot left from the accident, and Aria was the one that designed it. She saw the spot when we were children and when we grew up, she went into a career where she could help me. Formerly, before using her creative talents to flip houses, she was a hairstylist and specialized in the art of hair replacement. She helped hundreds of people before she switched careers. Many of them suffered from hair loss and she bore their hurts like her own. Eventually, she took her artistic eye to a whole new field when she and her dad went into renovating houses. I was her only remaining client.

I remembered back to when I was very self-conscious about wearing the piece. Something Aria and my mom said helped me to accept wearing one; hair was an accessory. It was that mind frame that helped me to experiment and I teased the top of my hair for a little fullness. I dressed quickly so I wouldn’t be late and smoothed my clothes in the mirror. A little perfume, a dab of gloss and the final touches were complete. The remnants of last night’s mental storm faded from gray to white and as I closed the door I reminded myself it was going to be a good day. Eat. Register. Shop. Everything on my list in its proper order.

I closed the door behind me and walked down the silent corridor. I was the only rider in the elevator and the white noise hugged me within the silence. I made a mental checklist as I descended and everything I wanted to do was in order by the time the doors opened. Oblivious to the crowd around me, I made my way through the maze of people to get to the taxi station. The line was long and tangled and I was at a standstill. I almost jumped out of my skin when a large hand reached around my shoulder.

“If I remember right, you like a little cream.”

The sound of the familiar voice startled me and thrilled me at the same time. It was deep and rich, just like the brew in his hand, it jolted me like an abuse of caffeine. I spun around so quickly that I was dizzy, and he quickly cuffed my arm to rescue me from falling.

“
Falcon?
What are you doing here?” My smile was genuine and his eyes danced with my response. They crinkled at the corners when he was amused. Although my memory of that feature was rare, I loved it.

“I could ask you the same thing, sweetheart. I’m here for business, the Securities Convention. I heard there was a real estate convention in town and I wondered if you would be here. Is that where you’re off to?”

“I am. I never expected to run into
you
here, of all places.” I stared into his handsome face.
Damn he was gorgeous.
“How are you?”
And why didn’t you call me?
He shrugged casually.

“I’ve been good—and before you say anything, I’m sorry I haven’t called. Business doubled after the first of the year. It’s been busy—crazy busy—but it’s all good. The three of us have been working our asses off. That’s why I’m here. Business. But I’m looking forward to some downtime.” He tilted his head toward her. “What about you?”

His eyes never left me as he raised the cup to his lips. His hands were large and it disappeared within his grasp. I remembered how small mine felt inside his as we walked through the woods. It was electric then and it was still the same. I tried to act casual, but the connection I felt to him in the mountains was still there.

“I’m good. I’ve been really busy too, and I get what you mean about downtime. It’s rare that I get any. I have to come all the way across the country to get it. Anyway, I am here for business, but I’m making time for pleasure. This is a working vacation for me.” His eyes and smile widened and, gauging from his reaction. It seemed he liked what he heard.

“Then maybe you’ll have time for dinner with me.” I felt a warm flush creep over my chest. Maybe some women wouldn’t like how forward he was but, despite my body’s reaction, I appreciated that he didn’t play around and got right to the heart of the matter.

“I think that could be arranged.”