Same/Difference (The Depth of Emotion #4) (9 page)

“Do you want to come in?” I was enjoying the view as he leaned up against the doorframe looking all kinds of delicious.

“No, I think I’ll let you catch up on some sleep tonight.” He made me feel warm inside. His gaze was intense and his tone was demanding.

“When can I take you out again?”

“I’ll be in town for a month. I’m sure we’ll have at least one more opportunity.” I teased and he played along.

“A month, huh? How about tomorrow?”

His grin made me feel things I’d never felt before. “I think I have plans with Elizabeth tomorrow, but maybe next week, okay? I should be free then.”

“What about tomorrow?” he insisted.

I knew he heard my answer the first time but chose to ignore it. He took the key from my hand, opened the door and handed it back to me. I shivered from the rush of cold air that came from my room as he held the door ajar with his foot. He placed his arm around my waist and pulled me against him.

“Pretty confidant, huh?” I looked into his eyes. The heat in his gaze made me feel wanton as I anticipated his kiss. He didn’t disappoint and pressed his mouth against mine. The kiss was soft but his lips were firm and demanding. It stole my breath the moment we touched. My body reacted of its own accord, responding and returning with equally bridled passion. His tongue pressed for entry and I allowed him to explore. I was tingly with unexpected passion, the sparks igniting from my lips to my core. He was dangerous. When, he pulled away, he left me breathless.

“Tomorrow?” His voice was husky and thick as he said the words against my ear.

“Tomorrow.” I nodded.

He backed away and gestured toward the door with his chin. “Go on, now. I’ll wait until you lock the door.”

I disappeared into the room and turned the lock. Leaning my head against it I listened for his voice.

“Good girl. Get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

O
h my god…

I couldn’t remember having such a good time on a date—but then when had I really gone on a date? Most of the men I met were just for drinks and a hookup. The possibility of anything more never entered my mind. Certainly not a relationship. But
this was a date. Something I never had.

When I was a teenager I knew enough about how to dress and how to do my make-up so that I was pretty enough to get asked out. The problem was that the same girls that teased me in elementary and middle school now went to my high school. Anytime the little witches started their whispers I knew it was about me. I had no doubt that they informed the boys
exactly
how much of a freak they thought I was. So I decided to beat them at their own game and never went out on dates. I would talk to the boys in school, but never more than that. I refused to put myself in a situation where I would be pitied or ridiculed any more than I already was. The girls didn’t bother me so much because they were more concerned with their social game than they were with me. They had already done enough. Why beat a dead horse?

After the second year of high school, I never gave it much thought. It became my normal. I did the same thing in college, instead concentrating on my grades. I had more than enough time on my hands to develop my own style.
Thanks, mom!
By the time I graduated, people took me seriously. Women wanted to be my friend, men wanted to date me, and my professors listened to what I had to say. It was the perfect testing ground for my future goals. I was listening to a finance lecture and the proctor said that real estate very seldom lost its value; it almost always appreciated. I knew it was where I wanted to concentrate my efforts, not just selling it, but investing in it. As long as I was eager and hardworking, I could further my agenda of being financially independent. I didn’t want to rely on anyone for anything. I imagined myself living a very solitary personal life, while having a very social professional one. But one date with Falcon made me wonder;
should I take a chance?

I thought back to when I first met him. I’d become quite the actress over the years. Although I loved the idea of the party, I was feeling a bit claustrophobic. When Falcon asked me if I’d like to take a walk I jumped at the chance. All I expected was fresh air. Of course, I was polite to him. He was Carter’s friend. I planned on doing my usual of nodding politely and feigning interest, but even then I knew Falcon was different.

I’m not certain if it was his looks or the tone of his voice. He pointed things out throughout the walk that I found beautiful, and I wasn’t reserved in telling him what I saw. An icicle wasn’t just an icicle. When we came upon a bare bush encased in ice, I saw them as melting crystals in the sun. After a while, he began to see things through my eyes. He’d lived there a long time and was desensitized to the beauty that I saw. My breath caught in my throat when I saw a red cardinal against the backdrop of untouched snow. He got very quiet and we watched it until it flew away. Something happened that afternoon, to me and to him. My life had become so black and white going from home to work and back again. Same routine over and over. I forgot to enjoy myself, and only did so when I went on vacation. This was different. That afternoon reminded me to take pleasure in the little things. I’d become so guarded that my sight grew dim. I don’t know what changed that day other than me. We walked for the longest time and I enjoyed every minute of it. Even the air had more clarity. Falcon touched me and my fingers tingled when he took my hand and led me to a fallen tree. We sat close, listening to the wind as it sang through the pines. The fragrance that followed was heavenly and I closed my eyes to enjoy it. Then we heard a
crunch, crunch
sound. I squeezed his fingers when a fawn approached. I never expected to enjoy myself so much. My nose and toes were frozen but I didn’t care. Falcon rubbed them to warm them up while we watched a squirrel outwit a fox. Nothing that day was routine. Certainly not the way he behaved or the way I responded. It was…magical.

I didn’t give it much thought when the weekend was over. It was just a memory I’d cherish. I thought my time with Falcon was a one-time fluke. I didn’t expect anything more from it—until now.

Maybe it wasn’t magic at all. Maybe it was him. I’d never liked anyone enough to want to know them, but I really liked him. The feelings I had pushed away when the Christmas party was over resurfaced in one night. Even though the date tonight was out of my comfort zone I couldn’t help but dream about the things other women dreamed about. The more I was with him the more I wanted to be with him.
So how far did I let this go?

Falcon was magnetic. I liked being with him, and that was my dilemma. I knew enough to know that appearance was everything, just like the saying. He liked what he saw because it was an illusion. If I saw him again, and I wanted to, how could I tread without drowning? Eventually, I’d have to withdraw. Even though I risked having my feelings crushed, it would be for his own good, and my sanity. When I thought of hurting him I had an ache in my chest, but then again I was being presumptuous to think that he felt enough for me to be hurt. The risk I was really taking was in letting myself go without calculating everything beforehand. It might be painful, but it would be painful for me no matter what. I’d been through worse than what I was anticipating.
So what was the problem?

The problem was I didn’t want to let him go. Yet.

Tonight was a repeat of the magic I thought I’d only feel once. I loved how special he made me feel. He only said he’d like to see me while he was in Vegas so maybe that was the solution.
Vegas.
It was a temporary town. Things happened here that would never happen when someone returned to their normal life. It would probably be the same for us. He was as dedicated to his work as I was, not to mention the logistics of where we lived. It was a very sound and convenient excuse. We would probably talk on the phone a few times and, little by little, the “relationship” would fade away—that is, IF one developed. It was a plan.

As I lay on the bed, I realized I had already fallen back into my old habit of working everything out ahead of time, but at least I felt content. The perfect scenario had presented itself and it didn’t feel overwhelming. He wanted to go out again, and I would go as many times as he asked and I liked. I could enjoy as much of Falcon as I liked while we were here.

I undressed and put my pajamas on. A million possibilities played out in my mind. As I climbed into bed, I felt lighter than I had in ages. The comforter was as fluffy as my thoughts and I closed my eyes to embrace the mental pictures. It had been a long time since I’d been excited, so I enjoyed each one. Outside I could hear the hum of the roller coaster. It had as many twists and turns as the possibilities I entertained. One thing I was sure of.

I was in for a thrilling ride.

F
alcon hadn’t planned a month long stay, but at dinner, when Paige mentioned she would be here that long, he changed his plans. He could market the company from here. As far as things with Paige? He wanted to see where things would go. He enjoyed her company, which was a new experience for him with women, but he didn’t want any entanglements. He guessed that they were like-minded. She was playful, but she didn’t give the impression that she wanted any more of an involvement than he did. She was so different from what he was used to that he was enjoying it. She was beautiful, sweet, and entertaining, and she was as married to her work as he was to his. He was pleased that their dinner date was a success. They got along as well as they did in the mountains, but the same thing nagged at him now as it did then.

Blake.

He was a pain in the ass then and he could be more of a problem now that he was in with Manny Vallega. He had a feeling there was nothing but trouble in that union. His gut told him it was more than just a casual encounter.

Part of Falcon’s business was to know everyone else’s. He had a higher security clearance than most people would expect and he’d looked into Manny and Marisol. It started after Carter’s wife died and Marisol was in a psychiatric hospital. He was just as surprised as Carter when he found out that Manny Vallega was her husband. It was not a good pairing. One was psychotic and beautiful, and the other was psychotic and powerful, a deadly combination. Both were as narcissistic as hell, and the collateral damage they could leave behind could be an issue—especially if it involved people Falcon knew and cared about. There had been only one-way to ease his mind; keep them under surveillance. When business picked up at MarSin Falcon his vigilance faltered. But he wouldn’t let that happen again. Especially with regard to Paige.

He was good at reading people and Paige had been playful and relaxed at dinner. Given her history with Marisol, she would have been a little more reserved if she knew she was in town. He knew the story. In a break with reality, Marisol had attacked Aria Sinclair. Paige snuck into the house where she was keeping Aria prisoner. Aria’s husband was trying to reason with her while Paige came up behind her. Marisol heard her and then attacked Paige, throwing her through a huge glass window. She landed on the stone patio below and spent a few days in the hospital. Her recovery was tough, but she shrugged it off, instead focusing on Aria’s injuries, which were extensive.

He’d heard the story before meeting Paige.
It’s funny how your mind paints a picture.
He thought that Paige would have scars all over her from the broken glass, but you’d never know to look at her that anything happened. She was beautiful. When he was introduced to her he’d hidden his reaction well. He was expecting a broken and battered girl and instead met a beautiful and courageous woman. And she was a little thing! She wasn’t as tall as Aimee, but she was definitely model material. Getting her alone was the best decision he made that weekend. He’d frozen his ass off that day, but it was worth every minute. Knowing what she survived before at the hands of Marisol, he felt very protective of her. He reasoned it was his instinct to serve and protect. He wasn’t going to question it further because he didn’t know her well enough to speculate it being more.