Several minutes later she was almost asleep when she was awakened by the feel of him moving away from her, cautiously disengaging their limbs. He eased himself out of the bed, obviously trying not to awaken her, and she forced herself to lie still, her eyes closed until she heard him leave the room and close the door behind him. Then her eyes flared open, hot and bright with unshed tears. She curled into a tight little ball and thrust her hand against her mouth to stifle the sound of the sobs that couldnt be controlled.
Over breakfast the next morning he said abruptly, Im sorry if I hurt your feelings last night.
Reminding herself not to overreact and blunder past his boundaries again, Sarah gave him a smile that was friendly but faintly aloof. Thats all right, she said, shrugging it away, then changed the subject by asking if he had any suits that needed to be cleaned.
He regarded her thoughtfully, and there was a hint of iron in the set of his jaw. Sarah braced herself for one of his patented interrogations that were the terror of Spencer-Nyle, but she reminded herself that she was no longer an employee of the company and didnt have to let him delve into her emotions. Perhaps he sensed how remote she was, for after a moment he accepted the change of subject.
As he left he said, I have a business dinner tonight, so Ill be late getting home.
All right, she replied calmly, not asking him where hed be or what time she could expect him.
A frown touched his brow, and he paused. Would you like to come along? You know him, Leland Vascoe, with Aames and Vascoe. I can call him and have him invite his wife too.
Thanks, but Ill pass. Derek and I will be painting this afternoon, so well probably be working late anyway. The smile she gave him was casual, as was the kiss he leaned down and took. She sensed that he would have made the kiss deeper and longer, but she moved back, still smiling. Ill see you tonight.
The hint of iron was stronger in his expression as he left.
Determined not to fall into the mopes, Sarah didnt let her thoughts linger on him during the day. She kept busy, and whenever the store was empty of customers she went back to the other rooms and worked on them. Derek came in as soon as school was out, with a hamburger in one hand and a large soft drink in the other.
When no one else was in the store, Derek was warmer and friendlier. He grinned at her and held up the burger. Moms really into that article. Ill probably have to live off these things until she gets it finished.
Sarah smiled in return. I tell you what, Romes working late tonight, so when we get finished here, why dont we pick up a super pizza and take it home for dinner? Maybe we can entice your mom away from the typewriter.
Put pepperoni on the pizza, and Ill guarantee it, he said placidly.
He painted by himself until Sarah closed the store; then she put on a pair of coveralls and helped. With both of them working, it was finished by seven, and Derek went home while Sarah drove to a pizza parlor and ordered the largest pizza they made. When she drove up to the condo, Derek came out to get the pizza, and she knew hed been standing in the entrance, watching for her.
As they entered the ground floor apartment he and Marcie lived in, he whispered, Watch this. Ten seconds at the most. He walked over to the closed door from behind which came the staccato clattering of typewriter keys, and he gently waved the pizza box back and forth. In a few seconds, the clattering faltered, then stopped altogether.
Derek, you fiend! Marcie shrieked, and the door was wrenched open. Give me that pizza!
Laughing at her, he held it out of her reach. Come on, sit at the table and eat it like it should be eaten; then you can go back to the typewriter and I swear I wont say a word to you about eating until sometime tomorrow.
Like breakfast, tomorrow? asked Marcie whimsically. Then she saw Sarah. Are you in on this plot too?
Sarah nodded, admitting everything. Were calling it the Pepperoni Plan.
It works, damn it, sighed Marcie. All right, lets pig out on pizza.
The family warmth, the unquestioning love between Marcie and her son, lured Sarah like a magnet, and she lingered in their apartment long after the pizza was gone. Her own apartment, which shed tried so hard to make into a warm, secure haven, was painfully empty because it wasnt filled with the one thing that was most important to security: love. Marcie filled her in on how the article was developing, then excused herself and locked herself in her study again. Derek invited her to play a game of gin, but halfway through the game they began talking about blackjack, and the game was abandoned while Derek began teaching her how to be a card counter, employing the one system most likely to get a gambler invited out of any casino in the world. From there he went on to the different types of poker, and Sarah decided that Derek was a cardsharp as well as a wonder kid. He was sharp in reading people too, because she sensed that he knew she was at loose ends, and was devoting himself to keeping her entertained until she felt she could go to her own apartment. He was a kind boy, wise beyond his years.
At ten oclock she said good night to Derek and went home, opening the door to rooms that were dark and chilled. Hurriedly she turned on the lights, then the heat. She hadnt been home five minutes when the door slammed shut, signaling Romes arrival. She was in her bedroom, preparing to take a shower, and she went to the door to greet him. They almost ran into each other, and she stepped back hastily.
Where the hell have you been? he barked, coming into her bedroom and standing over her like an infuriated angel of vengeance. Ive been ringing the phone off the hook since seven thirty, and dont tell me you were at the damned store, because I tried there too.
Sarah looked at him, stunned, unable to think why he was so angry. And he was angry, blazingly so. His eyes were black with fury. And hed said damned store. Did that mean anything? Shed thought he approved of the idea of her having another job, but there had been disparagement in his voice and words. She wasnt good at arguing, at countering a display of his temper with her own, as Diane would have done. Instead she withdrew into herself, erecting a mental shield against any hurt he might deal her.
Derek and I painted until seven; then I bought a pizza and shared it with Marcie and Derek, rather than eating alone. Derek and I have been playing cards since then. Why were you trying to call me?
Her calm, cool, remote voice seemed to inflame him even further. Because, he ground out from between his clenched teeth, Leland Vascoe brought his wife and they wanted you to join us. You didnt have to eat with the Taliferros, if eating alone was your only problem. Id already invited you to have dinner with me, but you had to paint some grim little back room instead. Now you tell me that you were finished by seven, and you couldve had dinner with me anyway. Your support is overwhelming, he said with biting sarcasm.
Sarah was very still, her delicate shoulders erect. I didnt know what time wed finish painting, she said quietly.
Damn it, Sarah, you worked for years for the corporation, and you know the routine. I expect you to be available for these mixed business and social meetings, not puttering around in that
Grim little store, she finished for him, not flinching or looking away from him. She was beginning to feel sick inside, a cold feeling spreading through her chest. Before we married, you said that wed respect each others business responsibilities. Im willing to attend whatever business dinners you want me to attend, and after the repairs are finished at the store, I shouldnt have to stay late. But that isnt the real issue, is it? You dont want your wife to work outside the home at all, do you?
Theres no need for you to work, he rapped out.
I wont sit here all day and twiddle my thumbs. What else is there for me to do? I can only dust so many times in one day before even that fascinating occupation becomes boring.
Diane wasnt bored.
The lethal jab was right on target, and Sarahs eyes widened, but that was the only clue she gave as to how much that hurt. Staring bleakly at him, she said, Im not Diane.
That was the whole problem, she thought, turning away from him. She couldnt stand there and let him cut her to ribbons. Diane would have been jaw to jaw with him, and their argument by now would have deviated far from the original subject. In another two minutes theyd have been kissing and falling on the bed, which was how Diane had told her they always ended their arguments. Sarah couldnt do that. She wasnt Diane, but herself, lacking Dianes fire and strength. That was the one thing Rome could never forgive her for: not being Diane.
At the bathroom door, she turned to face him again, her ex-pression a pale mask. Im going to take a shower and go to bed, she said without inflection. Good night.
Romes eyes narrowed, and suddenly, chillingly, she knew shed made a mistake by retreating. It was his aggressive male nature, as a hunter, to pursue his fleeting prey. Sarah froze, expecting him to spring across the room and capture her; it was in his eyes, in the tension in his stance. Then he visibly controlled the urge, dampening it down, though his eyes were like black marble as he stared at her. Ill be in later, he finally said, his voice a deep purring threat.
Sarah took a deep breath. No. Not tonight.
The primitive male rose up in him again, and like a great stalking cat he crossed the floor to her, cupping her chin in his hand. Are you refusing to go to bed with me? Be careful, babe, he warned, still in that dangerous purr. Dont start a war that you cant win. We both know I can make you beg for it.
Sarah went even whiter, and the force of his hard fingers left reddened imprints on her jaw. Yes, she admitted in a stifled tone. You can make me do anything you want, if thats really the way you want it to be.
He looked down at her, at her colorless face and closed expression, and something savage moved in his eyes. Then he dropped his hand to his side, releasing her jaw. Have it your way, he snapped, striding out of the room and closing the door behind him.
Shaking, Sarah took a shower and went to bed, lying awake for a long time and waiting to see if hed come to her in the later hours, as hed done the night before, but she heard him go to his own room and this time her door remained closed. Her eyes burned rawly as she stared into the darkness. How ironic that she should have to defend her outside work, when her dream had always been of a typical, traditional family life. It should have been Diane passionately defending a womans right to a career: shed never been short of arguments or opinions. Their plans had been derailed, and they had each taken the route meant for the other one. Diane was to have been the career woman, while Sarah was the housewife. Now, even more ironically, Sarah had the chance to devote herself to her husband, only to find that she had to cling to her career in order to keep some stability in her life. Rome wasnt offering her anything more than convenience and sex, and she needed more. She needed a place where she belonged, and that belonged to her, where she felt safe. If she had Romes love, she knew shed feel safe anywhere, but she didnt have his love. She was still on the outside, wistfully peering through the window.
Rome lay awake too, his gut twisting with anger and frustration. It made him see red when she froze up on him like that! Hed wanted to apologize for the night before, when hed hurt her by rejecting her offer of sympathy, but shed put up that damned blank wall and refused to respond or let him make it up to her. Shed been humming, as if it didnt matter to her what he did. It probably didnt matter, he thought savagely. But when hed gone to her room and made love to her, shed taken down the barrier and turned as hot and sweet in his arms as she always did. Hed wanted to grind his flesh into hers, to make her forget about keeping him at a distance, and hed thought hed succeeded; then that morning, shed been as cool and remote as ever, as if she hadnt gone wild beneath him.
That damned store was more important to her than anything else, including him. Hed asked her to go with him, but the store came first. Hed known how devoted she was to working, and hed proposed to her, knowing that shed expect the same priority for her work as he expected for his. Hed agreed to give her the room she needed, and now he found it was driving him insane. Whenever she put up those frosty barriers of hers, he wanted to smash them down and take her in the most primitive way, until she couldnt build them again. She didnt even care enough to argue; she simply stated her position, then turned away. The disdainful lift of that little chin had almost broken his control, but shed made it plain that if hed taken her to bed, it would have been rape, and hed forced himself to leave before he sank to that. He didnt want to hurt herhe wanted to possess her, totally and irrevocably. He wanted never to see that reserved, distant expression on her face again. And he wanted that shining eagerness that she reserved for that damned store to be for him. The challenge she represented was becoming an obsession for him, until even at work he found himself thinking of ways to break through her defenses. So far, the only way hed found had been through sex, but that was only temporary.
He wanted her now. He was burning with need, and he moved restlessly on the bed. He waited, knowing that if he went in to her now, shed fight, and he didnt want to put her through that sort of experience; he wasnt certain of his abil-ity to control himself. He didnt want her unwilling body; he wanted her all soft and melted beneath him, clinging to him with all the silky strength of her arms and legs, her cool image shattered by the earthiness of the act. For that, hed wait.