Authors: Deanna Lynn Sletten
Annie wiped away her tears and turned over in her lonely bed. Sandy was much better now, and she was able to take care of herself. William was going to the Beaverton office tomorrow, so while he was gone, Annie would help Sandy move back into her room upstairs. It was time for Annie to go home. Time to move on with her life—her life without William.
Chapter Twenty-Four
No one was awake when William left for the Beaverton office that morning, so he left a note saying that he'd bring food home for dinner that night. He had it all planned, they'd eat dinner, he'd ask Annie to go for a walk on the beach, then he'd beg her forgiveness for being such a jerk and ask her to come back to him, forever.
The day seemed to drag on as William took care of paperwork and details that bored him to death. He had a meeting with his partner, Jeffrey, about a strip mall Jeff was in the process of bidding on, and he had several phone calls to return. By the time he'd picked up pizza for dinner and driven home, it was almost seven o'clock.
"I'm home," he called out cheerfully as he walked through the kitchen door. He set the pizza box down, took off his suit jacket, and loosened his tie. "I hope everyone is hungry. I brought pizza."
The house was silent in response. He walked into the living room and saw there was no one there or on the deck. Walking down the hallway to Sandy's and Annie's rooms, he called out, "Dinner's here." But no one answered.
The doors to both rooms were open and no one was in them. In fact, all of Sandy's personal belongings had been removed. Taking the stairs two at a time, William ran up to Sandy's room. Before he could knock, Sandy opened the door and gasped in surprise when she saw her dad standing there.
"You scared me to death," she said, stepping out into the hallway and shutting the door before William could look inside. "What are you doing?"
William smiled at his daughter. Even though she was scowling at him, she looked strong and healthy, and he was so happy, he pulled her into a quick hug being careful of her ribs. "I was calling you down for dinner," he said cheerfully. "I brought pizza."
Sandy only looked at him, her expression turning sad.
"Where's Annie?" William asked. "I thought we'd all eat together. Didn't you get my note about dinner?"
"Annie's gone," Sandy said. "She went home."
All the cheer deflated from William. "She went home? Why?"
Sandy's brows furrowed. "Because I'm getting better. That's why. She decided it was time she went back to her place." When Sandy saw her father's expression drop even further, she added, "Did you really think she'd stay here when, after all this time, you still hadn't asked her to stay?"
"Is that what she told you?" William asked.
"No, of course not. But I've been watching you both for over a month, and nothing has changed between you two. You can't expect her to stay around when she doesn't even know how you feel, Dad. And now she's gone." Sandy's eyes welled up with tears, and she swiped at them angrily.
"I didn't know she was leaving already," William said, dazed by her sudden departure. "I thought I had more time."
Sandy looked at her father, and her heart went out to him. He was a good man, and she knew he loved Annie. He just needed a little push, and she was going to have to be the one to push him. "There's something you need to see, Dad," she said. She took her dad's hand, opened the door to her room, and led him inside.
William's eyes grew wide when he saw the paintings. The colors were so vibrant, they jumped out at him. He felt as if he were looking out a window at these very real scenes. Walking further into the room, he stepped up to the seascape. "You've finished it," he said, his voice filled with wonder. "You've finished your mother's painting."
"Yes, Dad, I did. I've finished all three of these. What do you think?" Sandy asked, waiting anxiously for her father's approval.
William studied the seascape, mesmerized, then turned his head to gaze at the two waterfall paintings, Fairy Falls and Multnomah Falls. Each painting was more beautiful than the last, but it was the seascape that beckoned his attention. It had sat for years in the corner of his bedroom, unfinished, waiting for Sara to return. But Sara didn't return, and he'd finally hid it under the stairs with the others. But here it was, calling out to him, its colors so beautiful he felt he could walk right into it like walking through a door onto the beach outside.
"Well, Dad? What do you think?" Sandy asked again, waiting for her father's reply.
"They are all so beautiful," he said, his eyes still riveted on the seascape. "You've captured them perfectly, exactly as your mother would have. Maybe even better." He turned and faced Sandy, his eyes moist. "I knew you were talented, but this is far beyond what I even believed you could do."
Sandy smiled a little half-smile at her dad. It had been a long time since she'd heard praise from her father. Not that he withheld it, but she hadn't done anything worthy of his praise in a long time.
William reached out his arms to her, and she went to him, allowing him to fold her into his embrace.
"I did this for you, Dad," Sandy said.
Pulling back, William looked at his daughter with surprise. "What do you mean? Didn't you do this for you?"
Sandy looked back at her dad, her eyes once again filling with tears. "I did it for both of us. I wanted to finish Mom's paintings so you would see that Mom's life wasn't unfinished, that she didn't leave anything behind, She left us the beginnings of these beautiful paintings. A part of Mom never left, she's still here in the beauty of her work."
William searched his daughter's face, his own frowning. "What are you saying?"
Sandy drew back and wiped the tears from her eyes. "I know you think you kept Mom away from the thing she loved best, painting. But you didn't. Mom loved us all so much. She put aside her painting for a time but not completely. She had started these, thinking that someday she'd finish them. She just didn't know that her life would end so soon. She didn't resent taking care of her family. She loved it, and us." Looking directly into her father's eyes, Sandy continued. "Don't you see? You didn't take anything away from Mom. She chose her life, and she loved it. And now, by my finishing the work she left behind, we can finally say goodbye and let her go."
"Let her go?" William asked, confused.
Sandy nodded. "We've all been hanging onto Mom in one way or another for too long. We need to let her go, let her go to where she belongs instead of tying her here to us. We'll all see her someday, Dad, but for now, it's time we let her go."
William turned and stared at the paintings a little longer, trying to make sense of what Sandy said. Let Sara go? He thought he'd already let her go. Yet, in the deepest corner of his mind, he knew he'd been waiting for her to return, as she had promised, even though it wasn't possible.
"Dad, I saw Mom," Sandy said, her tone serious. "I saw her after the accident, in the car with me, and I saw her in the hospital, too. I had felt so guilty all these years for the last words I'd said to her, but she forgave me. I asked her to forgive me, and she did."
Goosebumps prickled up William's spine and down his arms. He remembered what he'd seen and heard that day at the hospital. Because of the pain medication, he'd thought Sandy wouldn't remember.
"Sandy, it was Annie you saw in the hospital that day. She was the one sitting beside you when you told your mom you were sorry," he said, sorry he had to tell her the truth.
Sandy only smiled and shook her head. "No, Dad. It was Mom. I know Annie was sitting beside me, but then I saw Mom, and I'll never forget what she said. She forgave me, Dad, and now I'm able to let Mom go."
William frowned. He remembered that as he stood there, for a brief second, he had also thought he'd seen Annie turn into Sara. He'd thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. After all, he was stressed and tired, of course he'd imagined it. He'd even gone so far as to ask Annie if she was Sara, and Annie had told him no. But hearing Sandy now, he wondered if he had in fact seen Sara in Annie.
"Dad? I plan to finish all of Mom's paintings. I want Mom's work to be seen, and I like that I can share it with her. Do you mind?"
William looked at Sandy again. This time, no longer seeing the hurt teenager whose mother had died and left her. Instead, he saw the grown woman she'd become, one who was finally free of her grief. "Of course, I don't mind. I think it's wonderful that you want to finish your mom's paintings."
Sandy smiled up at her dad, but she wasn't finished quite yet. "Dad, it's time for you to let Mom go, too. You know you love Annie. Why don't you do something about it?"
William nodded but didn’t reply. He had so much to think about. He needed time. "Why don't we go downstairs, heat up the pizza, and eat," he said, reaching out his arm to Sandy. She let him pull her to him, and together, they walked slowly down the stairs and into the kitchen.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Annie sat on the warm beach, feeling the sun on her face and the soft sand beneath her. High above her, she saw the ribbons of colors twirling and dancing in the rays of the luminous face, but they were so high, she couldn't see them as clearly as before.
Sitting beside her in the sand was the beautiful ethereal being with the long, lithe body and sunny, blonde hair. She had her hand lying gently on Annie's arm, barely touching but touching just enough so Annie couldn't rise back up to the colors.
"You're home," the being said in her lyrical voice. "This is where you belong."
Annie looked all around her. The ocean waves rolled softly against the shore and the water looked brilliant blue all the way to the horizon. Turning around, Annie saw a beautiful house up above on the cliff. Its windows winked in the sun, and its large deck embraced it.
"It's beautiful, but I've never been here before," Annie told the being.
"Oh, but you will be," the lovely creature said. "It's your destiny. They are your destiny."
Annie looked into the blue-green eyes of the ethereal being sitting next to her. "Who?" she asked. "Who is my destiny?"
The lovely ethereal being turned her head and pointed down the beach. "They are." Annie turned and saw figures walking in the distance. A man and two teenagers were walking along the shoreline. The boy playfully pushed the girl toward the waves, then she picked up wet sand and threw it at him. The man, however, just continued to walk ahead as if in a daze.
"I don't know them," Annie said, squinting to get a better look.
The figure beside her smiled, her smile so warm and gentle that it touched Annie's heart. "Oh, but you will know them. They are your family now. Love them, and they will love you. They now belong to you."
Annie awoke from the dream and sat up slowly, remembering that she was in her own bed, in her own home. "But he doesn't want me," Annie said aloud to the empty room. Sara may have thought Annie was the right choice for William, but she had been wrong.
Looking at the clock, she sighed. It was only five-fifteen in the morning, and she was now fully awake.
Annie slipped out of bed and pulled a blanket around her to ward off the morning chill. Once she'd made a cup of hot cocoa, she sat at her small table and looked around her. She'd become so used to staying at William's house, now her own looked small and lonely. Even the sweet taste of homemade cocoa didn't help her feel warm inside
. I liked it better at William's. I liked eating as a family, spending time with Sandy, and waking up to the sound of the ocean. I liked sitting with William in the morning, drinking coffee, and seeing him at night before bed. Everything was better at William's.
Last night, when Annie came home, Cherise stopped over. They ordered take-out and talked until late into the night. It was just like the old times she'd shared with Cherise, yet it wasn't the same. Annie was no longer the old Annie. She was a woman who had fallen in love with a man, a man Cherise claimed to be her destiny, and she had also fallen in love with his children. Going back to being a single woman again was never going to feel the same to her. It was going to feel very lonely.
While they'd talked last night, Cherise confessed to having told William about Annie's dreams. "I thought it would make a difference," she told her friend. "I thought he'd finally understand the depth of your relationship."
Although Annie was shocked at first to hear that Cherise had gone to William's house and told him about the dreams, she wasn't angry with her. After all, Cherise just wanted to help get Annie's happily ever after back for her. How could Annie hold such a caring gesture against her best friend?
But hearing that William knew they were somehow connected and still didn't reach out to her validated that he didn't want her. He'd known everything, and he chose not to love her anymore.
Feeling sad and lost, Annie couldn't sit in her condo any longer. She slipped on her jeans and a thick sweater, quickly ran a brush through her straight hair, and grabbed her car keys. It was still dark out, but she wanted more than anything to go to the place that had always brought her joy since moving to Seaside. She turned her car toward the beach near William's house, with no intention of seeing him, but just to walk the strip of beach. She could walk up and down the beach and be gone long before anyone woke up. Pulling into the side street where she always parked, Annie stepped out of her car and headed to the beach.