Sati (11 page)

'When?'

'Before your meeting began.W hen we were sittinginsilence withoureyes closed'

'Our meeting began with silence. Silence follows usall the way through. What lights did you see?'

'White and red and blue,'

'You liked them?'

Linda stammered, 'Y-yes.'

'They are there. They are real.You are full of lights. I see them in you. You are beautiful to me.'

Linda suddenly seemed less stressed.'I hope they come back.'

Sati shrugged.'I t is inevitable.'

Linda sat down. The Hare Krishna raised his hand.'Are you saying you are Krishna?'he asked.

'Yes. I even know how to play the flute.'

The Hare Krishna smiled and went on,' I agree with much of your philosophy. But your emphasis on having fun in the world contradicts what the scriptures, both Eastern and Western, have to say.'

'Where is the scripture that says you mustn't be happy? Show me it and I will tell you that you're not reading scripture at all. However, I am not advocating a hedonist's life-style, unless of course you honestly feel that's what makes you happy. The key word here is' honestly'.Your intuition is sharper now than when your holy books were written. You are all older and wiser. Your intuition is a truer guide to right action than a list of commandments. Examine what truly makes you happy. Do drugs? How many could honestly answer yes to that? Does cheating other people? Does murdering them? Of course these things do not bring happiness, not even to a serial killer. Do what you feel is best,but don't fret over your mistakes.No one is keeping track of them. Be simple, be natural,and you will come close to being who you really are.'

A man who could have been the bank president spoke.

'You said we arenow olderand wiser. Does that mean you believe in reincarnation?'

Sati pulled a flower - it was a carnation - from the vase and played with it.'One carnation should be enough,'she said.

The audience laughed again. The gentlemanpersisted.' But do we growthroughmany lives?'

"The past is past. If your past goes back ten years, or tent housand, what difference does it make? You are alive now. This life alone is sufficient to realise me. Don't worry aboutpast lives.Don't worry about future lives. Live now. Enjoy.'

The originalyoung man raised his hand.'T here are a lot of books nowadays saying this isthe dawning of a new age for mankind. Is this true? Should we be optimistic about the future?'

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'No,'Sati said.

The young man paled.' No? Are things going to get worse? Is the world going to be destroyed?'

'The world will not be destroyed. It has a life insurance policy. That policy is me. But why be optimistic aboutthe future? Why be pessimistic? Why not see things asthey are? What will come will come. All your anxieties reside inthe past andthe future. Your mind feels guilty about something you have done. You worry about what will happen as a result of what you have done. But in the presentthere are no worries or anxieties. The present is always filled withjoy, withlove. If you were to livefullyinthe moment for only a moment,the stress and strain of your entire life would be washed away.'

Lori, Fred's girlfriend, raised her hand.' But when people say bad things about you, how can you not worry about it?'she asked.

'What people say about you istheir concern,'Satisaid.' It is not your concern. Don't think too much about l ife. Live it. Don't think too much about others. If you live your life based onthe opinion of others,then you will always be weak. But if you are clear in your conscience, then you will not mind what anybody says about you. It is necessary only that you be naturally helpful to others. And you help others most by being happy. It is very simple.'

'But when people say bad things about me I get angry,' Lorisaid.' I can't help it.'

"Then get angry. There is nothing wrong with being angry. It is better than pretending you're not. Just don't hit anybody. But keep this thought in mind at the same time. If you accidently poke yourself in the eye, you do not get angry at your finger. You do not blame your finger. This is because your finger is a part of you. In the same way - and this is notjust some high ideal -you are a part of everybody else. Let your anger flow if you must, but understand it is all directed at yourself. Understand it is also the same with your love. All love is directed towards the self.'

Lori smiled.'E verything you say is neat.'

Satismiled.' You are neat.'

Lori giggled.' You really think so?'

'Yes.'Sati looked at Fred.' You haven't raised your hand tonight. Do you have a question?'

'I was wondering if you could talk more about love,"Fred said. He glanced back at Lori, who was still glowing from Sati's compliment.' And relationships.'

'What can I say about love?'Sati asked.' It is a gift. You cannot make yourself love someone. You either love them or you don't.You cannot make someone else love you.'

'You can't?'Fred asked. He sounded disappointed.

'No.'Sati played with her carnation.'B ut you can pre-serve the love that is already there.'

'How?'Fred asked.

'Love is like a seed. Bury it too close to the surface and it dries up from the sun's heat. Bury it too deep and it also dies. Here in the West people keep their love too close to the surface. They see their beloved
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and right away they say,'I love you.'Ten times in a single day they will say this, instead ofl etting that love grow in silence and gain strength. Love can be talked about too much. On the other hand, in the East they have the opposite problem. They don't say anything. They hold it all inside and never let it out. The middle groundis usually best for things, including love. You will remember this, Fred?'

'Yes.'

I was steadily gaining more and more respect for Sati's manner of teaching. She did not lecture. Rather she allowed people to draw information from her. Indeed, it was almost as if it was a personal requirement of hers that it be drawn, rather than first offered. Like Linda, I could not say I agreed with everything she said. For example, I found visualisation very helpful. When I was driving down the long road, and I was hungry, I often visualised big juicy hamburgers. I was quite adept at it. I could practically taste them. It helped get me to the next stop.

I was never much into daydreaming about lights, though. I wasn't into New Age thought. Sati didn't seem to be either, if Linda's practices were an example of such things. Sati did not appear worried about courting any one group. But she was clever. The continuity of her theme was fascinating. No matter what the topic, she always brought it back to inner silence. Of course, this also made her somewhat repetitious, but each time her angle on the topic was slightly different.

The young man who had already asked so many ques-tions raised his hand again.' Sati, how do we get all this? What do we do? Can't you tell us something that will help us?'

Sati was sympathetic.' What do you want me to tell you?'

The guy spread his hands helplessly.' I don't know!'

Sati nodded.' Ah. A good beginning. Go on.'

'I don't know how to go on. I want you to tell me what I should do. You keep talking about gaining inner silence. Does that mean we should meditate?'

'Ican't sayyou should.Ifyou don'twant to,you shouldn't. Butif you are drawn into meditation, that is good.

You havetried to meditate already?'

The young man nodded vigorously.' I've tried, but I can't push the thoughts out of my mind."

'Why would you want to try to push the thoughts out of your mind?'

'All the books I've read said your mind has to be empty to meditate. You said the same thing a few minutes ago.'

Satipaused. This was a long one. But this time she did not simply stare off into empty space. She took another flower from her vase. She stroked the petals, with her eyes half shut. She seemed to be thinking.

No, I should say she appeared to be waiting. Finally, the young man spoke again.

'Could you tell me how to meditate?"he asked.

Sati looked up.' I did not say you should push the thoughts out of your mind. I said pure consciousness can only be experienced when the mind slips beyond thought.'

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'I don't understand,'the young man said.

'You cannot try to free the mind of thoughts. It's not possible. The more you try, them ore thoughts you will have.'

'Then what should I do?'he asked.

'You are in school?'

'Yes.'

'Do you enjoy it?'

'Some of the time.'

'Say you have to study for a test,'Sati said' You go out on the lawn at school. You open your book. You focus on the material, and after some time you become absorbed in it.But not far away another student is listening to her radio. One of your favourite songs is being played. Immediately your mind goes to it. But then you realise whatyou are doing. You have a test coming up. You have to study. You put your mind back on your book. Now maybe forty-five minutes go by. Suddenly you realise that you are not studying. In fact, you haven't been studying for the last ten minutes. You've been listening to the radio again.'

The young man nodded.'I know this. My mind is always wandering.'

'The mind does not just wander. It wanders in a direc-tion. The music is charming. The book is boring.

When you were not thinking about it, your mind automatically went to the music. The reason for this is what I have been saying all along. It is the nature of the mind to seek out greater happiness. It does so automatically. It is the same for everyone. There are no exceptions. The purpose of life is the expansion of happiness. Now let us take this understanding and apply it to a method of going within. Have not all wise men throughout time spoken of the inner self as perfectly silent, the source of perfect joy?'

'Yes,'the young man said.

'They said this because it is true,'Sati went on.' But being perfectly silent it cannot be reached by someone who is trying to reach it. When you try, you create more activity in the mind, more thoughts.

That takes you further away from your goal. It is a paradox.'

'Is there nothing you can do?'the young man asked.

'There is the nature of the mind. If the mind could be turned properly inwards - just slightly - then it would begin to settle. Why? Because the greatest happiness re-sides inside. There would be no effort.

There would be no doing. Nature would carry out the whole process. Medi-tation is a technique whereby you allow the mind to do what it's always wanted to do. It is nothing more. It is always very simple, natural, and easy. With this understanding in mind, you will learn how to meditate correctly. Have no worry about this.'

The young man was reassured.' Thank you.'

Sati responded with a slight nod.

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The bank president raised his hand again.' Sati, is medi-tation the only way to God?'he asked.

'It is not that way,'she said.'E ven though I have spoken of a path, there is no path as such to God. Linda was right there. This is the trouble with words. Answers given in words create more questions, even while they are being spoken. Only in silence is there perfect communication. One only finds God by grace

,and grace alone. Grace is like the sweet rain that falls from the sky. You are like cups. You have to catch this grace as it falls. Meditation allows you to keep your cup turned upwards so that when the rain comes, you are ready to receive it.'

'Is there no other way?"the man asked.

'There is service,'Satisaid.' Service to others with the understanding that one is serving oneself also allows grace to enter.'

The man was embarrassed.' This is hard for me. When I saw you yesterday, I thought you were the most extraordi-nary person I had ever met, even though I did not believe you were God. And now tonight, after sitting in silence with you, I am even more confused. It is so beautiful just to be here in your company. And I don't know why!'

'What is so hard about this?'Sati asked.

'Are you really God?"

'Yes.'

The man shook his head.' I'm a Christian. Christ is my master.'

'Yes.'

'If I were to accept that you are God, could I accept you as my master along with Christ?'

'No,'Sati said without hesitation. A distinct discomfort went through the room. I noticed Reverend Green shak-ing his head. Mrs Hutchinson stared at the floor. Sati continued.' You cannot have two masters.'

"Then I would have to reject Christ to follow your teaching?'the man asked, clearly upset.

'No,'Sati said, and she smiled.' We are not talking about rejecting anything, much less Christ. But to follow his teaching, and mine - if that is what you want to call what I say - then you will have to understand that it is the same teacher that has come to you in two different bodies. I am Christ. I am the son of God. I am also the mother of God. I am Sati. There is nothing but me.'

The man looked relieved.' Being a Christian, I feel I have to be born again to know God. Could you speak on what it means to be born again?'

'This is a beautiful question. Usually what is said in the scriptures is in the form of metaphor. Things cannot be taken too literally or the meaning will be lost. Nevertheless, in this case the expression is clear.

To be born again means one must die.'Sati gestured with her hands, with her palms open and slowly descending as she spoke.' As the mind settles deep into that inner silence, the body slows down. This is one of the criteria for true spiritual experience. The breathing slows down, and eventually it stops. You know those wonderful mystical experiences that people report when they brush close to death? They come as a result of the cessation of breath. When the breath stops, the mind is set free. One is only born
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