Sati (12 page)

again when one dies. Deep meditation is like death, even though one comes out of it feeling much more alive. A true Christian is he who experiences the depths of his inner being.'

'Could you speak about the value of prayer?'the man asked.

'Prayer has great power if the mind is settled. A prayer from the heart is always heard. But don't pray for things. You might get them, and then you probably won't want them. I know what you need. Let me decide what to give you. But if you wish, if someone you know is ill, you may pray for them. I will heed that prayer. Yet know that the highest form of prayer is one that is offered in love, just in love - a prayer that asks for nothing, that trusts in the perfect order of things. I tell you, without any doubt, everything is inevitable. Don't fret in prayer about what is to be, or what should have been. Prayers should be fun, joyful. But if you don't love me, if you're not happy with me, then remain silent and listen to me. For everybody, prayer should end in silence, in meditation.'

'Is there a value in traditional prayers?'the man asked.' For example,the Lord's Prayer? Or should we pray as we feel to pray?'

'There is great value in tradition. All the religions of the world have their different prayers. I listen to them all. I wrote them all. Many years of repetition have endowed these prayers with power. Yet if you choose to make up a prayer, I will also listen to that. Remember my names when you pray, my true names. Satiis but one of them. There are many others. No one religion has a lock on the truth. Each knows bits of the truth. But only those bits that lead one to a realisation of the inner being have value.'

'Thank you,'the man said.

'Very sincere questions,'Sati said.' It is good.'

A bearded fellow in a wheelchair near the wall raised his hand next. He wore an army fatigue jacket and I would have laid odds he had served in Vietnam and seen action. Having just missed the war, I always felt guilty whenever I came face to face with guys like him. What I'd gone through in life always seemed insignificant compared to that.

'If I understand you correctly,'the guy said,' you're telling us to look after number one?'

'Who else is there?'Sati asked.

'That sounds selfish to me. Shouldn'twe place the needs of our brothers before our needs?'

'You will not become selfish seeking me. I am in all people. Move a step closer to me and you move ten steps closer to the rest of humanity.'

'I'm afraid that's a bit too abstract for me to swallow.'

'Only the strong can help the weak. If you go to console a friend in the hospital, and while you're there you catch his disease and start coughing in his face, how have you helped him? A man - or a woman; I speak of both, of course - who finds me is never ill. He is always strong. Nothing can harm him. He does the greatest service to humanity. By his mere presence, he brings life and joy to all. Such men and women are more important to the world than any number of those who labour to help their fellow men. Don't misunderstand me, those who serve are performing good works, especially if their service brings them personal satisfaction. But if their labours don't, if they sacrifice and suffer in the name of God, then they would be better off going into another line of work. A do-gooder who suffers does no good at all.'

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The crippled man nodded.' It's interesting what you say.'

Sati regarded him closely.'You wanted to ask another question?'

He lowered his head shyly.' It's not actually a question. When you were talking about how life is meant to be en-joyed, I couldn't help wondering where I went wrong.'

'You refer to your spinal injury?'Sati asked.

'Yeah, among other things.'

'You have memories you wish you could forget?'

He glanced up.' Yeah, sure do.'

'When you were sitting a few minutes ago with your eyes closed, how did you feel?'

He started to speak,stopped, thought for a moment, then sighed.'I felt great.'

'Like you were flying?'

He was surprised.' Yeah.'

'It is true you evolve through the body, but no injury or sickness, no matter how severe, can prevent you from finding me if your search is sincere.'She smiled.' Why worry about walking when you can fly?'

He smiled. ‘I’ll try to remember that.'

‘I’ll remember you.'

He lowered his head again."T hanks. The name's Kurt.'

'I know your name.'

Reverend Green stood again. I had been waiting for him to do so. His expression was not quite as pleasant as when he had entered.' Miss, may I speak?'he said.

'Yes.'

He cleared his throat.'F irst I would like to congratulate you on your style of presentation. You have the remark-able talent of satisfying people's questions without saying anything. But-'

'Thank you,'she interrupted.'I agree completely with you that words are unsatisfactory. That is why I told you silence is my only proof.'

'But,'he continued with a note of impatience,' not all of us have such a luxury. Like this gentleman here, I am a Christian. I am also a minister, and as such, I must back up everything I say with the Holy Bible.'He paused.' Do you accept the Bible as true?'

Satireached for more flowers to play with.' Parts of it are nice.'

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'Which parts do you like?'

'The parts that talk about me,'she said.

The minister allowed a trace of a smile.' Offhand, I don't recall your name mentioned once in either the Old or the New Testament.'

'Wherever the joy of the Lord is discussed, there I am.'

'So you're a happy God?'

'Yes.'

'And you're the Second Coming of Christ?'

'If you like.'

'Are you or aren't you?'

She grinned.' I'm Sati. I'm just a girl.'

'But you say you're God.'

'We're all God.'Sati found a red rose she liked and began to caress it along with her other flowers.' The only difference between you and me is that I know I am God.'

Reverend Green checked-round the room to make sure he had everyone's attention.' Do you believe Christ was like you, that he knew he was God?'he asked.

'Yes.'

'Excellent. Now, being omniscient,you must also know that Christ said in the Gospel of John - chapter five, verse sixteen -" I am the way, the truth and the light No one comes to the Father except through me.

"Would you agree that he said this?'

'Yes,'Sati said.

'Then you would also have to agree that his words make you a liar?'

'Not at all. The statement is entirely impersonal. Christ is not speaking of the individual personality he took on as Jesus. He is referring to his inner reality, which is the same infinity Krishna and I experience.

Krishna said he was the only God. I say I am the only God. None of us is lying. We are all the same being.'

The reverend tried another approach.'D o you believe that Christ died on the cross for our sins?'

'You are all responsible for yourselves. That is how it must be if you are to learn from life. Christ wouldn'

t have been so foolish as to try to take away important lessons from anybody.'

"That's not what the Bible says.'

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'If you are trying to get me to agree with everything the Bible says,we will be here all night and the cookies I baked this afternoon will go to waste. But your difficulty is not with the Bible. From the right perspective, it can be of great value. It is a beautiful book. I wrote parts of it. No, your difficulty is a lack of awareness of your inner being. You see difference everywhere. You even go so far as to take God out of man and put him up in heaven.'Sati smiled, her eyes lighting up the room.' When she's really sitting right here in front of you."

He wasn't amused.' Whatif I toldyouI thought youwere deluded? That you were a mouthpiece for the devil?"

'I wouldn't hold it against you. There is no devil as you understand him. If you consider for a moment with an open mind, you will see that to accept a devil who operates outside the will of God is to accept a God who isn't omnipotent. Obviously, this can't be. Nothing happens except through the will of God.

Even what you would call evil has its place in God's design."

Reverend Green's voice was cold.' I'm sure you would know that better than most.'

'That is correct. I am as evil as I am good. I am all things, and yet, I am beyond all things. There is nothing higher than me. I am Sati.'

I had been enjoying the show so far, but now I began to feel anxious. I did not know why. Mr Green was a minister Mrs Hutchinson had known foryears. He was obviously getting irritated, but surely, I thought, he wouldn't get violent. He reached for his black briefcase.

'You are great at twisting things,'he said.' But I think it's time to put you tothe test. Mrs Hutchinson informs me you told her earlier todaythatChrist never suffered. You said his death and resurrection were shams.'

'His death and resurrection were facts. I never said they were shams, nor did Carol tell you I did. But Christ never suffered. How could he suffer? Only the weak suffer. And he was far stronger than you can imagine.'

Reverend Green snapped open his briefcase.' And I suppose you never suffer either?'

Sati smiled.' Nail me on a cross and I'll still be smiling."

'I'm glad you put it that way,'the minister said softly, removing a heavy hammer and a long nail from his briefcase. An unhappy stir shook the room. Linda's head twisted towards me and I quickly removed Jenny from my lap and stood. Nick set aside the drawing of Sati he had been working on, freeing his hands in casethings got nasty. He had one eye on the minister and one eye on me. If I gave the sign, he would pick Green up and toss him out on the pavement. Unaware of this, Reverend Green enjoyedthe commotion he'd started. He gave everyone a good look at the sharpness of the nail. Faces darkened.

Sati continued to play with her flowers.

'Is there a problem here?'Reverend Green asked.

'Doesn't anyone besides me want a demonstration?'

'I,for one, do not need a demonstration,'the bank president said, angry.

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'Bill, please,'Mrs Hutchinson said, trying unsuccessfully to get his attention.

'Put that away,'I said sharply.

Reverend Green nodded.'I assure you, I have no wish to harm this young lady. But at the same time, I cannot sit idly by while she desecrates the Bible.'

'Why not?'Timmy asked.

The reverend spoke firmly.' Because I am a soldier in the war against Satan.'

'Sorry, I didn't know,'Timmy said.

'There'll be no demonstrations,'I said.' This is a friendly get-together. Put your tools away now or leave.'

I had the group on my side,that was clear, but the guy didn't care. He turned to Sati.' What doyou say, girl? Want to accept the challenge and show these people that you're more than talk?'

Sati put down her flowers.' What is the challenge, sir?'

He cleared his throat.' You set the conditions with your own remark. I'll hammerthis nail through your hand and you'll keep smiling.'

People gasped. Without hesitating, Sati rested her hand on top of the table that held the vase of flowers.'

Very well,'she said.' If you honestly feel it will make you happy.'

The room buzzed with anxious chatter. Everyone sounded opposed to the idea. I moved towards the front. Nick also got to his feet'Y ou're a weird dude,'I said, placing myself between him and Sati.' Get the hell out of here.'

'Bill, I thinkthat would be best,'Mrs Hutchinson said, tugging on his shirt. He brushed her off and stepped in my direction, the nail and hammer in his hand.

'This is between the young lady and me,'he said.' If she wants to play God,she's going to have to pay the price.'

Nick was asking me with his eyes if he wanted me to stop it his way. I shook my head, putting my hand on the minister's arm.' This is your last chance, buddy,'I said.' Leave, or we'll make you leave.'

He laughed.' Are you a bodyguard or what? Does your God need them? Jesus didn't need any. He was the genu-ine article.'His voice hardened. ‘I’ll leave the second she admits to being a phony.'

'Hey, let'sjust eatthe cookies and call it a night,'Timmy said.

Mrs Hutchinson came up behind her minister.' Bill, I don't like this. It's not proper.'

He ignored her, looking past me at Sati.' You're not talking, girl,'he said.' Are you afraid?'

'Michael, let the soldier pass,'Satisaid.

I turned towards her.' Are you crazy?'

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'You have been wonderingthatsince you picked me up. No, I am not crazy. Let him do what he wants.'

'No way,'I told her.' He says he's going to pound a hole in your hand and he'll do it. I've seen these kinds of guys before.'

'Trust me,'Sati said. 'Everything will be all right.'

I looked in Sati's eyes. If I was looking for a sign of fear, I looked in vain. She was actually enjoying herself. But it was atthe expense of others. At the rear ofthe room, my daughter was cringing in her mother's arms. People were bitingtheir nails. Mrs Hutchinson was trembling.

'Trust me,'Sati repeated.

I let go ofthe minister's arm, saying,' Nick, get rid ofthis creep.'

Nick strode forward. Mr Green took one look at him, knife scar and all, and backed up fast. Some might have thought it funny that he backed behind Sati for protection.

'If you co-operate, Reverend,'Nick said,' you'll be able to get out of bed tomorrow morning.'

'I'm not leaving till I've made my point,"he swore. Nick sighed and glanced at me. The preacher was ap parentlywilling to take it as well as dish it out. The situation was almost comical. ' He'll break you in two,'I warned.

'Nick, let him do what he wants,'Sati said.