Savage Autumn (35 page)

“I reckon you’ll be asking me to take you?” the wily old trapper asked.

“Would you, Farley? I feel sure Windhawk will do you no harm.”

“I been waiting around fer days for you to know what I already knowed. When do we leave?”

“The sooner the better!” Tag said excitedly.

“It’s colder than a raccoon’s tail caught in a froze creek out there,” Farley warned.

“It doesn’t matter, Farley. You and I have braved much worse weather than this,” Joanna said, wishing they could leave right that moment.

“What am I to do, Miss Joanna? I have no wish to live in an Indian village but I don’t want to leave you and Master Taggart either,” Simon said, thinking they had all lost their reasoning.

Joanna handed Simon her mother’s jewel case. “I have thought of that, Simon. I want you to take care of my mother’s jewels and someday Tag will come to claim them from you,” Joanna said, knowing the loyal Simon would guard the jewels with his life.

Simon nodded. “I have a mind to return to Philadelphia and just keep my eye on things for a while. I already talked to Captain Thatcher and he says he will write a letter for me to take to his parents. He thinks they will employ me.”

“That would be wonderful, Simon. Are you sure that’s what you want to do?” Joanna asked.

“That’s exactly what I want to do. I will keep in touch with you through Fort Union, and I will wait for the day when Master Taggart comes knocking at the door. Don’t you worry, the day will come when you will set your aunt and uncle straight.”

“Now, that’s settled, I wonder if we could leave tomorrow, Farley? I have money to buy horses and supplies.”

“Slow down there, little lady. I know you be anxious to get back to that man of yourn, but you just don’t go rushing out headlong without figgering ahead.”

“How much time?” Joanna inquired.

He grinned broadly. “Give me ’bout two days.”

That night, when Joanna went to bed, she was too excited to sleep. All she could think of was seeing Windhawk again. There was very little doubt in her mind that he still loved her.

She had a way to test his love, she thought, remembering how she had fooled Tag when he hadn’t known she had regained her eyesight. She would allow Windhawk to think she was blind until she could read his eyes and know if he still loved her. His eyes were so expressive. He would never be able to disguise what he was feeling from her.

Two more days and she would be on her way back to her love!

“Hold up there, Joanna. That horse of yourn is ’bout to run off and leave me and Tag,” Farley said, riding alongside Joanna.

She laughed and patted Fosset’s long sleek neck. “I think Fosset can tell that I’m happy, Farley. He wants to go home as much as I do.”

Joanna slowed her pace so she could ride between Tag and Farley. Sometimes she had to draw rein on her horse to hold him back so Farley and Tag could keep up with her.

It had been difficult for Joanna to convince Colonel Jackson and Kate that she was doing the right thing by returning to the Blackfoot village. It had been hard to say good-bye to Simon, knowing it would be many years before they would see him again.

Harland had walked Joanna to the gate of the fort and kissed her soundly on the cheek, telling her that he would see
her again someday. Joanna had been glad Claudia had not been around when she left.

As the days passed and the distance between her and Windhawk narrowed, Joanna’s heart grew lighter. Farley had told her that by tomorrow afternoon they would reach the Blackfoot village.

Joanna looked around her, thinking she was now a part of this land. This was her home as nowhere else had ever been.

It was a cloudless day and the warm sun reflected off the snow. Doctor Morehead had given Joanna some gauze and told her to wear it over her eyes, should the sun be too bright. She now wore a thin strip to protect her eyes from the bright glare. The gauze was not thick enough to hamper her vision, so she could easily see where she was going.

How good it felt to be dressed in her doeskin gown again.

“Huh oh!” Farley said, pulling his rifle out of his saddle holster. “We got us some company. Can’t tell who they are from here, but they be Blackfoot.”

“What do we do?” Tag asked.

“Just stay close to me and let me do the talking,” Farley said, slowing his horse.

Joanna saw the riders as they topped a small hill. They were moving swiftly and she knew it wouldn’t be any time at all before the Indians reached them.

When the Indians were within fifty yards, Joanna recognized Windhawk’s horse,
Puh Pom.
She began to doubt that she had done the right thing in coming back. Suppose Windhawk didn’t want to see her? What if she loved him so much she had deluded herself into thinking he loved her?

“Don’t tell him I have regained my eyesight,” she said to Tag and Farley.

Farley reined in his horse and Tag and Joanna followed suit.

When the warriors were close enough for Joanna to recognize them, she noticed that they all had their faces painted! She felt a prickle of uneasiness when Windhawk drew even with them, while the others fell back.

Windhawk looked straight at Joanna for a moment and then his eyes moved to Tag. “Why have you returned, little brother?” he asked in a commanding voice.

His face was painted with wide black stripes that crossed his high cheekbones and spread across the bridge of his nose, giving him an ominous appearance.

“I told you I would come back, Windhawk. I have kept my promise!”

“You, old man, why have you returned?” Windhawk asked with his dark eyes boring into Farley.

Joanna noticed the proud carriage of his head as his eyes swept past her as if she wasn’t even there. She wondered if he was purposely ignoring her?

“I am merely the guide, Windhawk,” Farley answered in the language of the Blackfoot.

At last, Windhawk’s eyes rested on Joanna. She could tell nothing he was feeling from his expression. He seemed to look at her with the eyes of a stranger. “Joanna, why do you come among us? Did I not take you to the white man’s fort?” His eyes were as cold as his voice.

Joanna wanted to blurt out that she had returned because she didn’t want to live without him. But her pride came to her rescue. “Our father is dead and we are no longer going to Oregon. Tag wanted to see you again. I miss Sun Woman and Morning Song. I hope you will allow me to see them.”

His eyes narrowed and he was quiet for a moment. At last he spoke. “I will allow it.” He turned his horse and rode back to his warriors.

Joanna’s heart was pounding loudly. She had been afraid he was going to refuse her. What would she have done had he said no? She urged her horse forward to join Tag and Farley.

As they joined with the Blackfoot, Joanna could feel Windhawk’s coldness like a sharp pain in her heart.

Did he feel she was intruding? she wondered. Perhaps it would be better if she were to visit with Sun Woman and Morning Song and then leave.

Joanna had never been one to give up easily when she
wanted something. Now she wanted something so precious and rare she would fight to the bitter end to obtain it. She wanted Windhawk’s love!

The Blackfoot warriors closed rank about them and Joanna saw a familiar face beneath the hideous yellow and black face paint.

“I am pleased to see you again, Joanna,” Gray Fox said soberly.

“It is good to see you also, my friend,” she answered, slipping easily back into the Blackfoot language.

Windhawk rode at the head of the fierce-looking warriors, and didn’t once look back at Joanna. Why had she returned? he wondered. Had she come back to torture him? The days since she had been gone had been nothing more than the passing of time to him. Each morning he had awakened, feeling as if a heavy weight was sitting on his heart. Windhawk had thought he would never see Joanna gain, and here she was. Why had she chosen to come back now? There was a never-ending world beyond the Blackfoot Nation and he thought she had been swallowed up in that world.

For two days Tall Bear and several other braves had been tracking the movements of three whites. Yesterday he had sent word to Windhawk that one of the whites was a woman, and he thought it was Joanna.

Windhawk had lost no time in riding to intercept them. When he had seen Joanna he had been confused. Even though she couldn’t see, he still hid his feelings behind a mask—a mask every bit as concealing as the paint he wore on his face.

Could she have come back because she loved him? She said that her father was dead. Did that mean she wanted to stay with him? Did she return simply because she had nowhere else to go? He had no answers to his questions, but he knew whatever her reason, he would never allow her to leave again. If he must keep her as an unwilling captive then he would do so.

The countryside was now very familiar to Joanna. She could see the winding Milk River in the distance and felt as if she had come home at last. Her heart was flooded with
thankfulness. She had traveled so far to find out where she really belonged.

Joanna could only see the back of Windhawk head, but she sent him a silent message of love. He was her husband, and as Sun Woman once told her a woman’s place was with her husband. He looked so proud and distant as he turned his head to issue an order to one of his braves.

Joanna smiled to herself. He had loved her once—she would make him love her again.

They rode swiftly the rest of the day. Just before sundown, Windhawk stopped to make camp.

Tag and Farley pitched the tent while Joanna built the campfire. Windhawk and his warrior were camped some twenty feet away. Every so often Joanna would glance in their direction to see if she could locate Windhawk. He had been very cold and distant but Joanna still had reason to hope that she could win him back. He had not threatened to harm them in any way, nor was he treating them as his prisoners. Surely that was an encouraging sign…and did she not wear his necklace about her neck hidden beneath her gown?

When Joanna reached for the heavy iron skillet, the bandage slipped from her eyes and she readjusted it. She wasn’t yet ready for Windhawk to know she had regained her sight. As she placed several slices of thick bacon in the skillet, Farley came up to her.

“You best let me do that, Joanna, you’re overplaying your hand.”

“In what way?” she asked as he moved her aside.

He gave her a crooked grin. “You move about mighty good for somebody who’s ’sposed to be blind.”

“Do you think I’m taking unfair advantage of Windhawk by not letting him know I can see, Farley?”

Farley placed another slab of bacon in the hot skillet and watched it sizzle for a moment. “I never was one to give advice in matters of the heart. I ’spect a female has built-in learning on how to trap a man.”

Joanna couldn’t help but laugh. “Farley, you make us females sound mercenary.”

“I found that to be the truth, and I thank my maker every day that that’s the way it works,” he said, giving her a toothy grin.

Joanna smiled, thinking how dear the old trapper had become to her. He seemed to have attached himself to her as her guardian angel, and she thought his role fit him perfectly. “Farley, what will you do now?”

“Well, I been studying on that. This here last trip to civil-i-zation plumb tuckered me out. I thought as how I’d ask Windhawk ifen he’d sorta let me hang around, lest he’d rather see my scalp hanging from his lodgepole.”

Joanna saw the gleam in Farley’s eyes and she knew he would be staying so he could be near her and Tag. She bent over and kissed him soundly on the cheek. Farley looked taken aback for a moment. He touched his cheek where she had kissed him, and his eyes glowed. He loved the flaming-haired girl and boy. They had somehow become his family. It warmed his heart to just be near them.

“Why’d you do that fer?” he asked.

“Because, you loveable old character, I love you.”

Suddenly his eyes misted over and he turned quickly away with the pretense of dishing up the now overdone bacon. He cleared his throat. “You best call Tag, ifen he wants to eat while it’s hot,” he said in a gruff voice.

Joanna stood up and smiled down at Farley. His table manners were atrocious and he seldom ever bathed, but to her he was one of the dearest men she had ever known.

After they had eaten, Tag walked over to Windhawk’s camp. Joanna and Farley sat talking quietly beside the warm fire.

“What if Windhawk doesn’t want me back, Farley?” Joanna asked wistfully. “I mustn’t forget that he was the one who sent me away.”

“You can’t forget that he’s the one who brung you back when you run away.”

“Perhaps it was his pride that made him come after me.”

“Well, I ’spect you can ask him, yourself. He’s coming,” Farley said, standing up abruptly. “I ’spect I’ll just mosey down and check on the horses.”

The expected moment had come, as Joanna knew it would sooner or later. Now was the time she must face Windhawk. Suddenly, she felt nervous and undecided. Her whole future happiness rested on whether Windhawk loved her. She must find out one way or the other.

Windhawk towered above her. Joanna raised her head and stared up at his unreadable expression, noticing he had removed the paint from his face.

“It’s a very cold night,” she said, not knowing what else to say.

He knelt down and placed more wood on the fire. “I do not feel the cold as you do.”

Joanna watched the firelight dance across his handsome features as he turned to face her. Her heart stopped beating when she saw his dark eyes move lovingly across her face. She saw him reach out his hand to touch her hair and then drop it to his side. His eyes then traveled to her lips and he closed his eyes.

Dear God, he did love her! Joanna could see it so clearly written on his face. She could tell he was hurting because the pain was reflected in his eyes.

“I would like to know why you have come back, Joanna?” Windhawk asked softly in the Blackfoot tongue.

She saw the anxious look on his face as he awaited her answer. She felt guilty for taking unfair advantage of him. He thought she was still blind. He didn’t know she could read his face, which clearly defined his every thought.

“I came back because you and I left many things unsettled between us,” she answered him in the same language.

Windhawk sat down beside her and stared into the fire. “I thought we parted with a perfect understanding of one another.”

“No. When you left me, you neglected to say good-bye.”

She saw his head snap up and his eyes searched her face. “I thought there was no more to say between us at the time. You had given me back the necklace, saying we were no longer as one.”

Joanna reached inside the neck of her gown and drew out the necklace she wore about her neck. “I found this. I don’t know how it got in my belongings. Did you mean for me to have it?”

She watched as he closed his eyes and then gazed skyward. When he looked back to her, Joanna bit her lip to keep from crying out. There were tears shining in his beautiful ebony eyes. His throat was working convulsively and it took him a moment to be able to reply.

“The necklace belongs to you,” he said at last.

“Windhawk, why did you send me away?” she asked in a broken voice.

She saw his eyes narrow. “You ask me this when you are the one who left me first?”

“Yes, I ask you because I need to know. Did you want to be rid of me because I was blind?”

He looked disconcerted, and Joanna watched as he reached out to her again, but as before, let his hand drop. “I was the cause of your blindness. If I had taken better care of you, you would now be able to see.”

Joanna felt tears in her eyes. She had not realized he felt responsible for her blindness.

“I never felt it was your fault that I lost my sight, Windhawk. I thought you no longer wanted me because I had become a burden to you.”

He stood up and gazed down at her. “None of this is important, Joanna.”

Joanna stood up to face him. “Suppose I told you I have come home to stay?” Joanna asked in English. She knew that the next few moments would be the most important in her life and she didn’t want to take the chance of being misunderstood.

She watched closely as he took a hesitant step toward her. His eyes glowed with the softness of love and she knew without
a doubt that he still loved her. She watched, fascinated, as a tear rolled down his bronzed cheek and he quickly brushed it away.

“Jo-anna,” he whispered, slipping back into the old way he had spoken her name when they had been so much in love. It sounded so right to her ears.