Savage Silence: A Dire Wolves Mission (The Devil's Dires Book 4) (11 page)

“I know,” she said, nodding. Holding his gaze with her own to show her truth. “I’m ready to be alone in a bed with you. To…try.”

“Are you sure? I won’t be the bigger person and tell you no, baby. I can’t—I want you too much for that. But I’ll stop no matter what. You just have to say the word.”

“Of course you will,” she whispered, trying hard to stay in a place of Zen-like calm. “I’m not promising perfection or even completion—the stars only know what will happen once we begin—but I want to try. I want to move forward…with you.”

Thaus didn’t respond with words. Instead, he grabbed her hand in his and walked backward. Pulling her down the hall to the bedroom, keeping his eyes on hers the entire time. Keeping his hand soft as he held hers. Ariel followed, knowing this was more than just any old walk. Feeling the weight of the moment in very breath and step.

Ariel closed the door behind them once they crossed the threshold to the bedroom, almost shaking in anticipation. Maybe a little fear mixed in as well. It’d been so long, and she’d been so certain she would never be able to do this again. Never be able to experience the touch of a man on her flesh, the pleasure that came from affection and the joy of true intimacy. She’d assumed she’d die never revisiting sex with a partner.

No longer.

“I don’t know if I’m ready,” she said, breaking the heavy silence between them.

“I know, but I’m not them,” Thaus said as his hands went to his waistband. “I’ll never be them.”

“I know that.” Ariel pulled her shirt off, wanting to make sure he took her seriously. That he didn’t doubt her. Needing to be the one to go first. Thaus followed, the two of them slowly stripping in front of each other. Not speaking. Not helping. Just…baring it all. Leaving the layers of their clothes piled on the floor along with the reservations holding each other back.

And when they were naked—when each had taken away the barriers between them—Thaus waited again for her to make the decision. To be comfortable in the direction they took. This was her show, and he was making sure she knew that at every stage.

“I want this,” she whispered as she headed to the bed. “I want you as my mate.”

“So have me.”

“And if I’m not ready?” She wasn’t, not quite. Not yet. And she bet he already knew it.

“Then we lie together. Or we sleep. Or we get dressed and play Parcheesi.”

“Parcheesi?”

He shrugged in a casual, confident sort of way that only he could have pulled off. “It’s all I could think up on such short notice.”

“Do you know how to play Parcheesi?”

“No.”

Ariel glanced down, staring at his chest to gain the confidence to look back into his eyes as she asked the hardest question of all. “Do you know how to get me to calm down so I can do more than stand here completely terrified?”

Thaus glanced at the bed and held out a hand. “Yeah, I think I do.”

T
haus couldn’t look away
from Ariel. There was something so sweet about her request, so telling. She wanted this, but her mind hadn’t completely cut off yet. The battle to balance her need to protect herself versus the mating imperative appeared to be a rough one, but she fought hard. And he could be the potential winner in the whole thing.

“Lie with me,” he said, keeping his voice calm and low. Soothing almost.

“We’re naked.”

“That’s okay. We can be naked without doing anything more than getting to know one another. Just lie with me.”

It took her longer to agree than he wanted, but eventually, she took that first step. Crossed the few inches needed to meet him. He led her to the bed, giving her space to crawl in and find a comfortable spot. The image of her naked and in those white sheets rocked him, but he didn’t react. Not intentionally. His cock jutted upward, hard and straining, but there was nothing he could do about that. Nothing he wanted to do other than bury himself inside her, which still wasn’t an option. Not yet.

When Ariel finally lay still, looking up at him with those eyes he wanted to fall into, he joined her on that big, white slice of heaven. He lay with his head on a pillow and her in front of him. Keeping space between them to give her time to adjust.

“You can come closer,” Ariel whispered. Once again bridging the gap between them, though this time, with her words. Thaus didn’t answer, didn’t feel the need to. He simply inched forward until their bodies only just touched. Until her warmth enveloped him more completely than the blankets could have.

“Better?” Thaus asked. Her arm around his waist was one of the best feelings in the entire world, and her hip rubbing against the head of his cock was one of the most painful. But in an amazing sort of way.

“Yeah. Better.” Ariel chuckled softly, looking almost innocent as she grinned at him. “You know you’re huge, right?”

Yeah, he did. But still… “No. What are you talking about?”

Ariel’s cheeks darkened, and she reached a hand out to run a single finger over the length of him.

“This,” she whispered, the sound making his balls pull up tight. “I mean, you’re big all over, but this…”

Thaus had to close his eyes, had to focus on not rolling her underneath him. One touch, and he was a goner.

Ariel made a whistling sound and shook her head. “This is impressive.”

“Glad you think so.” Thaus grabbed her hand—gently, slowly—and directed her to rub him in an up-and-down motion that had his cock practically leaking with need. “Feels good.”

“I would hope so.” Ariel kept rubbing, kept teasing, and Thaus kept enjoying every stroke. Eventually, though, he had to stop her.

“What’s wrong?”

“You’re going to make me come.”

Ariel looked as if he’d spoken in another language. “Yeah?”

But Thaus had plans, and those plans needed time and care to come to fruition.

“I don’t want to come like this.” He pulled her hand to his lips, kissing the back before pulling her closer. “When you’re ready, I won’t stop you. But you have to go first. That’s my one rule.”

“You’re serious?”

“Completely.”

Ariel stared at him for a long moment, obviously surprised by his simple declaration. And when she spoke, when she finally opened her mouth to grace him with her words, it was with a smile on her face.

“You are amazing, Dire Thaus.”

“As are you, Doctor Ariel. As are you. Now, rest with me for a while.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. I think it’s what we both need.” Thaus closed his eyes and curled his body around his mate, feeling her warmth beside him. Listening to her breaths slow as she relaxed into the position. He rested and let the bond tying them together strengthen. Legs and arms tightened, bodies inched closer, until they were one heap in the middle of a very large mattress. A calm, happy heap.

And as Ariel slept safe and secure in his hold, Thaus plotted. He was in heaven, but hell was coming for them. A hell he’d have to fight to the death to keep his angel safe. And he would. Ariel was his, and there was no way he would ever let anyone take her from him.

T
he feeling
of being watched woke Thaus from a sound and restful sleep. He had no idea how much time had passed, only that it was still dark outside and his mate was sitting up and staring down at him with a peculiar expression on her face.

“What?” he asked. He rubbed a hand up the side of her leg, not the top. Needing to touch but not wanting to startle her.

“Do you feel it?” When he didn’t answer—because he had no idea if she meant his hand or something else—she tried again. “The bond. Do you feel the pull through the mating bond between us?”

Thaus focused inward, seeking out the connection. It was there, a deep, pulling to be near her. A pulse of lust encouraging him to claim her. A connection still so new, so fragile. So perfect. “I do.”

“Me too. And I like it.”

Thaus didn’t reply. He simply sat with her as she worked out whatever was going on in her head. Waiting to know what it was she needed so badly that she’d woken from her sleep.

“Thaus?” Ariel rose to her knees and turned so she was facing the headboard. And him.

“Yeah?”

“I’m ready.” His mate took a deep breath and sat up straighter; she even raised her chin as if about to battle something. Or someone.

But he refused to assume what she intended to be ready for. “For what?”

Ariel took a deep breath and pushed him. Literally shoving until he lay flat on his back. “I’m ready to complete our bond—to share mating bites with you. But I need to do this my way. I can’t handle…”

She shook her head, and Thaus’ heart broke for her. The fear in her eyes, the determination she had to muster simply to give in to what her body wanted. It killed him. The fuckers who did this, who dampened her confidence and spirit, deserved to be brought back from the dead and ripped apart again. Repeatedly.

But it was her shaky hands landing on his chest that pushed him over the edge.

“Hey.” Thaus sat up and reached for her with slow, steady movements. “Nothing has to happen. I told you we could wait.”

“You’re going to fight the Glaxious pack.” Ariel shook her head and curled into him, letting him rub his hands over her hips and thighs. And when she sighed and pressed her forehead against his chest, sitting beside him with their bodies pressed together, he closed his eyes and growled hard. Her skin, her scent, her warmth…it all worked together to undermine his resistance. The moment was so strong, so normal, Thaus could barely think, let alone speak. But he got out the one word he needed to so the conversation could continue, even as his cock wept for the woman.

“So?”

“So… You might die.”

Ah, that helped clarify things. He huffed and shook his head even as he gripped her hips a little tighter. Risked pulling her a bit closer. “Not happening.”

“How do you know?”

“I’m that good.”

She laughed, sitting up once more so she could smile at him. And smack his shoulder. “Braggart.”

But her words only portrayed a drop of what was really happening inside her. He could see it in her eyes, sense it in the emotions and energy she gave off. Ariel worried, and that wasn’t something to use to kick off their physical relationship. He wanted her to want him, to desire him, to crave him…but not because she might lose him.

Thaus trailed a hand up her waist and sternum, skirting her breasts and pausing at her collarbone. “May I?”

Ariel stared at him for a moment, her big, dark eyes a theater playing every emotion. Lust, fear, desire, anger, need, panic…all there. All tearing him up inside as he saw what they were doing to her. How they weighed on her. And when she nodded, when she showed that strength he knew she had, he could only smile.

“I won’t die because I have too much to live for.” He cupped the side of her face, rubbing his thumb over her cheek.

Ariel closed her eyes and sighed, leaning into his touch. “I still worry.”

“I know, but I’ll be fine. My brothers and I are excellent at what we do. We aren’t legendary without reason.”

“Could be a pop-culture phenomenon. The Dire Wolves could be the shifter equivalent of Bigfoot to humans.”

What the… “No.”

“No?”

“No. We’re not like Bigfoot.”

“Too bad. Bigfoot is a great legend.” Ariel laughed and lay against his chest before pushing him onto his back once more. She sprawled over him, creating a puppy pile of just the two of them. Thaus enjoyed the snuggling a lot, more than he cared to admit. He liked that she let him run his hand down her hair and back, too. But he needed direction from her, needed to know what she had planned so he could react accordingly. Her PTSD meant he needed to act with purpose and care, and not knowing what she wanted when they were both naked and alone was about as careless as he could get.

He would never be careless with her. “What’s your goal here, Ariel?”

She was silent for a long time, but she finally whispered, “We have to have sex to exchange bites.”

But the words sounded false, disconnected in a way, and he hated the tone of her voice. “Not necessarily. We could just exchange bites cold if you’re set on that action.”

“Cold?”

Thaus shrugged, staring at the ceiling and willing himself to stay perfectly still as his naked mate rubbed a pattern across his chest with her fingertips.
Heaven and hell, heaven and hell.

“Might hurt more, but no one ever said you have to be having sex. It was just…one of the benefits.”

Ariel laughed again, and Thaus groaned. The pressure of her against him, her body wiggling the way it was, didn’t help his situation. He tried to keep his hard cock away from her, but there was almost no way to do that when she was on top of him. He shifted to the side a little, moved his hips over to give her more distance from it. But instead of letting him go, she moved the same way he did, and she rolled almost right on top of him. Trapping his cock between his stomach and her hips. And as much as he liked the position—loved it, loved the pressure and the heat—he had to move away. Somehow.

“Sorry.” He rocked his hips back, trying to push them farther into the mattress. An awkward and uncomfortable position for sure. Ariel sighed and dropped her forehead to his chest.

“You’re apologizing for being hard.”

The ceiling gave him no answers on how to answer that one. “Sort of.”

“I hate that.” She looked up at him. “I hate that I’m so broken.”

“You’re not broken, just cracked a little. Totally repairable.”

“Is that what you’re doing? Repairing me?”

Thaus curled forward, enveloping her in his arms and legs, watching to make sure he didn’t push her too hard. “No, I’m trying to be a good mate and take care of you in whatever way you need. Right now, you’re struggling between your fears and the call of the mating bond. I’m trying to help you find the balance you’re comfortable with.”

Ariel stared at him for a long moment, and the tension between them grew. Pulling them closer as if they were magnets. Setting them up to crash together when resistance grew too hard. Thaus could only hope she surrendered first.

And maybe she did, in her own way. “I know they’re sort of the traditional positions, but I’m terrified you’ll try to climb on top of me—front or back—and I’ll freak out.”

Thaus didn’t know whether to be turned on or off. The vulnerability of his mate left him reeling. By the gods, his woman was so strong. He pushed a lock of hair behind her ear and rested his fingers along her neck. Holding loosely, supporting with everything he had.

“Won’t happen—the climbing on top on my part—I would never push you like that. You have all the control here.”

Ariel huffed and growled. In an act of bravery the likes of which he’d never seen, she sat up and swung a leg over him. Straddling his hips. Putting herself in a position to…ride him?

“And this, me being on top, wouldn’t bother you?”

Such a loaded question. As an Alpha-minded animal, of course, it bothered him. His wolf refused to submit to anyone, refused to take on a posture of submission. But this was his mate, his female. He would do anything for her. The man in him was fine with the idea of her on top. He quite enjoyed it, really. But his wolf liked a bit more control.

Still, he shrugged. “Not sure. Never done this before.”

“No?”

“My wolf is too strong. He can’t decide if having his naked mate ride him is the best thing ever or if he should throw you off and prove his dominance. The man, though…I’m good with letting you do all the work.”

Another laugh from his mate, this time while his cock was happily ensconced between the two of them. The vibration made him moan, made the tingles of pleasure shoot up his spine in a way that caused his claws to come out. He reached for her thighs on instinct—wanting to hold her, rock her, set a pace for more—but thankfully stopped himself at the last moment.

“Fuck,” he hissed, a sound like a whine bubbling up from his chest as he gripped the sheets. “This is going to be hard.”

“Already is.” Ariel rocked just as he’d wanted her to, nearly killing him with the heat and the wet and the motherfucking pressure.

“Not what I meant, baby.”

“I know.” She leaned down for a kiss, stealing his breath with her lips before rolling back up and pulling another deep groan from him. “Hang on to the headboard.”

“What?”

Ariel nodded up the mattress. Thaus tilted his head back, following her gesture. The bed was a solid wood monstrosity, stable and strong, with a decorative iron panel Mammon had designed for him. Thick, solid metal bars woven together with large gaps in between. The damn thing suddenly seemed less decorative and a lot more functional.

“Good plan.” Thaus did as she suggested, wrapping his hands into the metal and gripping tightly. “You don’t have to do a thing, baby. Remember that. We can figure out how to calm the mating imperative without sex.”

Ariel frowned. “This is so not sexy.”

He nearly jackknifed off the bed. “What?”

“This. You and me. I wanted it to be sexy, but it’s almost clinical. Hold this, sit like this, give me a damned pep talk just so I can consider having actual sex.” Ariel sighed and pushed him back down. “It’s not sexy.”