Save Me (12 page)

“What’s your name, cowboy?”

I look around wondering who the leggy blonde is talking to. I don’t see anyone with a cowboy hat at the bar so she must be blind, which means she’s right up my alley because she won’t see how truly ugly I am.

“No cowboy here, ma’am.” I pick my pint back up and finish it off, signaling for Slick Rick to bring me another one.

“Well what would you like to be called?” She sits down next to me and places her large purse on the bar.

“Ma’am?” I question.

“You want to be called ma’am? Are you into cross dressing or something?”

It’s a good thing I didn’t have a mouthful of beer when she said that or she’d be soaked. Although, she has what looks like a nice rack and she is wearing a white T-shirt so maybe her being wet isn’t such a bad idea.

“What’s your name?”

“Penny,” she says in a sweet voice. One of the things I notice about her is that she’s sitting on the stool and not leaning into me, showing me the goods. Most chicks that come in here wear next to nothing for clothes so you can see everything they have to offer.

I look at her as if I’m inspecting her, but I stay focused on her face. Her eyes are light brown and her blonde hair frames her face. Her lips are definitely kissable.

“What?” she asks as a smile plays on her lips.

“Nothing. I guess I always thought that if I were to meet a Penny, she’d have copper hair, but you don’t, unless you’re not a true blonde.”

“Well there’s only one way to find out!”

I look at her inquisitively and watch as her cheeks turn bright red. I can already tell she’s not this forward, which I have to say I’m thankful for. I’ve had my fair share of women throwing themselves at me and it never lasts long.

“Wow. I … uh … yeah, I don’t usually talk like that, but my friends over there didn’t think I’d be able to get your number if I just asked for it.”

I hold my hand out for her to take and when she does, I bring it to my lips and press them softly against her skin. Her eyes turn dreamy and she sighs. I can’t help but smile before pulling my lips away.

“Let’s start over. I’m Tucker McCoy.”

“I’m Penelope Kolowski.”

“Penelope, what a beautiful name.”

“To go with a beautiful woman?” she asks.

I shake my head, but immediately realize my mistake. No man should ever tell a woman she isn’t beautiful.

“Beauty isn’t only on the outside. Everyone can make themselves pretty with hair and make-up, but it’s their character that counts the most.”

“Wow, what do you do for work? Do you write Hallmark cards or something?”

I shake my head once again and look around the bar. It’s filled with Navy personnel, but mostly SEALs and officers.

“I’m in the Navy.” I leave out the part about me being a SEAL. Most women think it is a glamorous life when they truly don’t understand what it means to be involved with a SEAL. We’re gone at a moment’s notice. It doesn’t matter if it’s at the beginning of family dinner while meeting her parents or about to blow your load. You get the call you go.

Her mouth forms an O and I’m wondering if she knows what that means.

“You know you’re less than a mile from a Navy base and this bar is known to cater to SEALs, right?”

“No, I didn’t know that. I’m in San Diego on vacation and my friends said this bar is the place to be.”

Leaning to the side, I look over at her friends and wave. They giggle and whisper amongst themselves.

“They’re cute, your friends. But yes, you’re in a Navy bar and most women come in here to pick up a sailor.”

“And a SEAL, apparently.”

“Looks that way.” I wink at her and watch as she blushes uncontrollably. I find it cute that she doesn’t know anything about SEALs. I would’ve been turned off immediately if she did. “Why don’t we take a ride down the coastline? It’s a nice night and I’ll have you back before your friends are ready to leave.”

“How much have you had to drink?”

“Just one beer.”

She looks over at her friends once more and back at me. Her lower lip is pulled in between her teeth, causing me to caress her lip away from the hold they have on it.

“Okay,” she says almost breathlessly.

I throw a few bucks down on the bar and yell at Rick, “If I’m not back in two hours with her, tell Archer to hunt me down.” I wink at Penny as I take her hand in mine and lead her out of the bar.

“Have you ever been on a motorcycle before?”

She shakes her head. After climbing on, I help her onto the seat behind me.

“Don’t worry, I’ll go slow.” I pull her arms forward and wrap them around my waist.

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” she whispers against my neck.

Firing up the bike, I feel her move closer to me. Her grip becomes tighter as soon as I release the kickstand and start toward the street. She may be scared now, but in a few minutes, after the wind blows through her hair, she’ll feel the exhilaration. She’ll welcome the night air against her skin and the view she’s about to see will be some of the most spectacular sights of her visit. I don’t know what her friends have planned for her, but at least tonight I’ll show her a glimpse of my life.

As soon as I hit the highway I fight the urge to show her what my bike can really do. Instead, I do as I promised and keep it slow, allowing her to take in all that she can.

Every few minutes her hands wander. They start around my waist then under my shirt, only to retreat back to the outside of my shirt.

It’s not often I bring anyone out on my bike. It’s mine and for my enjoyment. It’ll go into storage when I deploy, being neglected until I return.

If I return.

Having Penelope on my bike now, with her hands caressing my skin, even if she’s not meaning to, makes me realize that I like her there. I’m enjoying the way her legs are pressed against my hips and the way her fingers graze my skin so innocently.

Pulling off to one of the lookout points, I set both feet down and shut off my bike.

“Watch,” I instruct, pointing to the sky. Without hesitation, she rests her head on my shoulder and I instinctively lean into her. I like it. I like the way I’m feeling with her right now. She’s here because she wants to be, not because of who I am.

“What am I watching for?”

“Birds.”

“It’s dark, I can’t see a bird in the dark. No one can.”

Realizing my mistake, I shake my head. “Fighter jets. They’ll be coming to land in a second.”

“How do you know?”

Because I wanted to be one until I found the SEALs
.

“When you live on base, you follow patterns.” Before I can say anything else, two jets appear and align themselves for landing.

“Are you a pilot?”

“No, I’m not cool like that.”

“So what do you do?”

Kill bad people
.

“I’m the guy who protects you while you sleep.”

I STARTLE AWAKE, SITTING up abruptly and holding my head from the impending headache that’s about to come from my instant head rush. Beads of sweat pebble on my neck and forehead while my body shakes uncontrollably. My heart races as I struggle to calm my breathing. The last thing I want to do is have a full-blown panic attack, which would require Evan or Ryley to come to my aid. They don’t need to see me like this. This isn’t who I am.

Pushing my hands over my face and through my hair, I work to bring myself back to reality. It was just a dream, of the day that Penny and I met. But I saw through her. I recognized her embarrassment when she spoke words that she didn’t intend and I knew I wouldn’t let her get away.

Except, I didn’t want her to stay. I didn’t want her to fall in love, only to be hurt when I didn’t return. Or returned as a man she didn’t know. I didn’t want those things for her, but she wanted me. Telling me over and over again that loving me whether it was for a day, a week, or a hundred years was worth the potential heartache she may feel down the road. Penny was the optimist in our relationship.

After that first night, we spent the rest of her vacation together. When I’d get off work, I’d go pick her up and bring her back to base. We’d sit on the sand with our toes buried, watching the waves, the ships, and planes land. I didn’t wine and dine her like I should’ve because I needed her to see what my life was like. When I was off work, that’s what I did, besides go to Magoos to hang out with my friends. She needed to see how mundane and laid back things were for me.

I introduced her to my friends and she fit in as if she had been a part of our lives since basic training. I knew I had to do something to let her know I was interested, but didn’t want her to think that she had to give up her life back home to be with me.

So I kissed her, underneath the moonlight and on my motorcycle with birds flying overhead and the crash of waves surrounding us, and I didn’t stop until the sun was peaking over the horizon. I didn’t want to stop, but work called and so did her return flight.

When she left San Diego to return home I didn’t take her to the airport. I left that to her friends. I had already monopolized all of her nights and I didn’t want to take away their good-byes as well.

I tried to occupy my time at work, waiting for her to text me and let me know she was home, but it never came. I had no doubt in my mind that once she got home she’d realize a life with a SEAL is near impossible. A lot of women, and some men, can’t handle the military. It takes a special type of spouse to marry a service person. You give up a lot, for very little in return.

The night Penny left, I went to Magoos to drown my sorrows. Tomorrow would be a new day, but that night I was going to mourn what I could’ve had if things had been slightly different. I know that if I weren’t in the Navy I would’ve never met her, but it was still nice to think about.

Two beers in, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I tilted my head slightly, never looking behind me, only to tell the female that I wasn’t interested. Then she spoke. The way my name fell off her lips had my body zinging. I turned on the stool and took her in, with her blonde hair pulled into a ponytail and her sunglasses resting on top of her head. Penny stood in front of me with her luggage at her feet.

Hi was the only word I could muster. Penny had made it to her first stop, only to get off and buy a flight back to San Diego.

That night, dressed only by the light of the moon, I made love to her. She moved in that same night. I had a small studio apartment off base and we made it work.

A month later I asked her to marry me, and she said yes. What followed was frantic planning which was tossed aside when orders came in for deployment. Her dream wedding was no longer an option for her and we went to the justice of the peace instead.

Our wedding night consisted of lovemaking until we could no longer keep our eyes open. She knew I was saying good-bye without using words. The war had escalated and too many of us were dying. I wanted her to know and remember how much I loved her.

My first piece of mail from her was a radiology image of what looked like a bean. The card accompanying the image said ‘Hi, Daddy’. I was going to be a dad and I prayed for the first time in my life that I’d be there when my child was born. And I was.

Days before Penny was due I got papers saying I was going home. To this day, I stand firmly behind the fact that I caused Penny to go into labor. I didn’t tell her I was coming home and since it was only a few of us returning, the surprise was easy to pull off. I knocked on the door of our on base housing—one she had to move into all by herself—and waited for her to answer. Her belly, plump and with my child growing inside of her, was the first thing I noticed. The squeal brought my eyes to my wife for the first time in eight months. The sheer panic that spread across her face seconds later literally brought me to my knees. Within hours of coming home, I was a dad to a beautiful baby girl.