Saving Toby (32 page)

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Claudia

“Wooo! Last one in the pool is a rotten egg!”

I raised my arms in the air and ran for the door of our
hotel unit. I chucked my sandals on the floor and zipped into the bedroom to
put on my bikini.

Tired of dancing, we were going to finish the night at the
hotel’s heated, kidney-shaped pool.

Because of the late hour, the pool area was empty. April,
Toby, and I sat on the edge with our feet in the water as Dario began swimming
a backstroke across the pool and singing,
“Volare, whoh, oh.


Cantare, whoh, oh, oh, oh,
”
which made April and I giggle.

“God, I had so much fun tonight, but my feet hurt from all
that dancing,” I groused.

Toby patted his lap. “Put ‘em up here. I’ll rub them.”

I eagerly lifted my legs out of the water and swiveled on my
butt until he caught my feet and cradled them in his big hands. Concentrating
on one, he pressed his thumbs firmly down over the balls of my foot. It hurt so
good, and, closing my eyes, I sighed, “Ah, that feels amazing.”

Seemingly bolstered by my appreciation, he caressed my foot
with more intensity, and, sliding his hand up the length my calf, he worked
that, too. His touch blossomed like a warm vine curling around my senses. I
leaned back on my elbows, one foot in Toby’s hands, the other resting against
his ribcage. Our eyes met, and for a long exhilarating moment, neither of us
could look away until April spoke.

“How soon after graduation are you coming home?” she asked.

Laying down made me conscious of how much I had to drink. My
brain felt like it tilted to one side. I tried to order my thoughts. “Um, I’m
not sure I’m coming home.”

Toby’s fingers rested on the instep of my foot. “If you’re
staying at USC, that means you turned down the internship at Sterling.”

“You know about that?”

“Your dad told me.”

“My dad? Jeez, I don’t know if I like that you two are so
friendly,” I said, but then shrugged. “I think I’d like to go home, but I hate
to leave my mom.” I looked up at him. “It’s crazy, but now my feelings are
reversed—I want to go to Long Island, but now I worry about how my mother is
going to handle it.”

“Hey,” Toby said, rubbing the arch of my foot soothingly.
“You’re twenty-two now. You can’t worry about what makes your parents happy all
the time. You have to start thinking about where your future lies, where you
want to be.”

April made an irritated sound. “I didn’t know you were
thinking about staying here. How come you didn’t tell me anything about this?”

“I knew you’d try to talk me into coming back to New York,”
I made a pretense of adjusting my bikini top more comfortably. “I was accepted
into USC’s as well as Stony Brook’s graduate programs, and I haven’t made a
decision.”

“Really,
mami
, there’s nothing to decide. Your home
is with us.” April scowled, her opposition clear.

I bit my lip. I didn’t want to do this with her. It would
ruin the night, our last one together.

Toby nudged her. “Cool it, April. Claude doesn’t need that
kind of pressure from you.”

“I’m not alone in wanting you to come home.” Ignoring the
warning, April turned to Toby. “Tell her you want her to come home, too. Now
would be a good time to tell her why you came here.” Without allowing him to
answer, April blurted out, “He wants to get back together with you.”

I stared from one to the other, speechless.

Danger lit Toby’s eyes as he glowered at her. “April, what
the fuck are you doing?”

“Don’t yell at me,” April pouted. “How will anything ever
move forward between you two if she doesn’t come home?”

Numbly, I pulled my foot out of Toby’s hands and sat up. “Is
this some kind of plan between you two?”

“No,” Toby started to say, but I didn’t hear much else.
Water splashed noisily as April popped out of the pool and scampered to my
side.

Forcing herself between Toby and me, she hugged me. “Chica,
chica,” she squeezed my shoulders. “You’re my best friend. I want you to come
home.”

By now, Dario had climbed out of the pool. Picking up a
towel, he stepped up next to us. “Come on, my little trouble-maker,” he said,
wrapping the towel around April’s shoulders. “I’m taking you inside and find
some other way to keep your mouth occupied.”

April stood up and turned into him. “Dar, I want them to be
as happy as we are.” Drawing her towards the walkway leading to our unit, Dario
replied, “Yes, mama, but you need to let them find that happiness on their
own.”

Until then, I hadn’t realized how trashed April was. As I
tried to stand and swayed too, I didn’t know if I was in any better state than
she was.

Toby rose up next to me, and taking hold of my elbow, he
asked, “You okay?”

I swallowed hard. I wasn’t okay. We had gotten through the
week in a mostly relaxed atmosphere. He had been funny and easy to be with, but
there were instances when a glance seemed to hold a beat too long or a touch
lingered for more than was called for. Considering our history, it was hard to
ignore the subtle implications, but unwilling to let it spoil our week, I did
just that.

Tonight, however, something had shifted. The mood at the
dance club seemed to have blown everything open, and now, as he stood shirtless
before me, the expanse of his muscled shoulders and bare chest taunted me to
distraction. I was swarmed with a heady awareness of him. But still, I stepped
closer—close enough that I could feel the heat from his body without touching
him. I raised my eyes to his. “Is it true? Did you come here to try to start
something up with me again?”

He inhaled noticeably and rubbed the back of his head,
seemingly in distress. I took pleasure in knowing my nearness affected him like
his did me.

“What if I said ‘yes’?”

“But, our relationship … it’s comfortable.”

“Comfortable?” Reaching out, he yanked me up against him.
The hardness of his masculine body pressed into me as he held me tightly to
him. The warmth of his bare chest hit me like scorching furnace. “Does this
feel comfortable?”

I drew a sharp, quick breath. This close to him, I couldn’t
think straight.

He didn’t smile. “It’s only comfortable as long as we’re
twenty-five hundred miles apart,” he said roughly, his warm breath fanning my
face. “Being here with you all week has been incredible, but comfortable? No,
that’s not how I’d describe it.”

I struggled to remain calm. “What about your girlfriend,
Leah?”

His eyes were intense; his lips drew into a thin line. “I
haven’t seen that girl since February. But she was never my girlfriend. I
haven’t had a girlfriend since you.”

“You lied to me!” I wrenched away from him.

With his fists clenched, he stood there watching me. “You
wanted to believe I had moved on. I let you.”

Bristling with anger, I turned and ran up the walkway to our
unit. It wasn’t so much that I’d believed a fabrication that made me angry, it
was the fact that he was right. I had wanted to believe he was off limits, for
him as well as for me. It had given us a line to toe. It had felt safer knowing
we couldn’t go there. Now it was another dismissible barrier.

Our hotel unit was quiet, April and Dario’s bedroom door was
shut. I made a dash for my own bedroom, but as I tried to shut the door, Toby
pushed his way through. It infuriated me how composed he appeared as he calmly
closed the door and approached me in the darkness.

Feeling exposed and defenseless, I crossed my arms. “Get
out,” I ordered.

“Claude,” he said, putting a finger to my lips to silence
me. “Stop pushing me away. I can tell by your reaction, you didn’t see this
coming, but at least hear me out.” It was a long moment before he continued.
“When you first agreed to go out with me, being with you was almost
intimidating. I was blown away that you wanted to be with me because I put you
on such a pedestal.” He picked up a strand of my hair. “You are so textbook
perfect—the good girl with the big heart. I was so out of my element around
you, but I worked hard to behave myself and be a decent guy. Even then, I
always knew deep down inside, I’d never be enough, and that once you left for
USC, you wouldn’t come back for me.”

“Coming here was never about getting away from you,” I
rushed out.

“I know. You were following your dream.” A quick smile
curved his lips. “I’ve always envied that ‘get it done’ mentality of yours. I
needed someone like you in my life. I needed the push.”

“You don’t need me to motivate you anymore. You’re doing
great on your own.”

“Yeah, it’s true, and that’s my point. Things are so much
better for me now. I feel stronger than I ever have, but I still need you. Not
to push me, but simply because I miss you when you’re not around. I miss
talking to you, kissing you …” With his fingers, he gently stroked my bare
shoulder continuing up the column of my neck. Automatically, I lifted my chin
to allow him to continue, my whole body reeling from this touch.

“Claudia … I miss the way it feels inside me when I touch
you.” His words came out tattered, and I was startled by the blatant ache I
heard in their tenor. His tone, coupled with the soft look in his eyes, only
further teased my own yearning for him. “Tell me you don’t miss me, and I’ll
leave you alone.”

We stared at each other through a long, loaded silence.
Unwilling to have him leave me, I wound my hands around his neck and pulled him
to me until our mouths met. Our kiss was noisy, breathless and frantic—the
result of the week’s building attraction. As if we didn’t need to breathe, our
lips held to one another’s. I pushed myself against his bare chest, reveling in
his hardness, while he palmed my backside. His strong hands held my butt
firmly, and he lifted me, pressing me into him before spinning us around to the
bed. He lowered me down slowly, his erection grinding against my pelvis and
then my stomach. When my feet touched the carpet, without pause, I crawled onto
the bed to lie across the flowered bedspread. He followed, moving over me until
his body covered mine.

“Are we going to regret this?” I whispered the question, but
I had already moved past caring about the repercussions.

He slid his hands down my arms until both sets of our
fingers were intertwined. His eyes locked on mine as he pressed my hands back
into the mattress on either side my head. With the weight of him on top of me,
and my hands restrained, I felt vulnerable. Instead of being fearful, my desire
grew. He lowered his face to my neck, his shallow breaths like gentle strokes
upon my skin. “Never,” he whispered.

With his teeth, he tugged at the strap of my bikini top,
pulling at the stretchy material until he succeeded at exposing my right
breast. A thrill licked hotly down my spine, and I quivered. In the dark,
moonlight streamed over us from the room’s large window; he gazed down at me.

“I still dream about that night out in your backyard and the
way it felt to be with you,” he murmured, lowering his head until his nose and
then his mouth pressed against the crest of my collarbone. “I miss the way you
smell,” he said softly, and his lips skimmed the sensitive skin just above my
hardened nipple.

“Please,” I begged him, arching my back so he would take me
in his mouth.

“No, not yet,” he whispered. “I’ll get there, but first I
want to kiss you again.”

He let go of my hands, and I stayed still, mesmerized and
more than a little eager, as he reached towards me to untie my bathing suit top
and peel it off of me. His body was corded and tight with his arousal as he
laid back over me, warming my skin with his. The sparse hairs of his chest
tickling my breasts as he brought his lips back to mine. This time we kissed
slowly, our mouths sipping and tasting each other’s as if we couldn’t get
enough. His hands moved to cover my breasts, and I moaned my approval. He
teased me, stroking me with his fingers as his mouth drifted down over my chin
to my neck. As promised, he kissed my chest, paying attention to one side and
then the other while I squirmed blissfully under him.

In our intimate twist, he lowered his hands to my bikini
bottoms and began to pull them down my hips. I raised my knees up, hindering
his efforts.

“No, we’re not having sex. Not tonight.”

“You sure? I have caps, in the other room. I’d be back in
two seconds.”

I shook my head. Things were moving at a scary pace. “If you
leave the room, you’re not coming back in.”

My own resistance surprised me. I waited, fearing he would
call my bluff, but then he smiled, “Okay, okay. Can I at least give you a
birthday present?”

I bit my lip. “What kind of present?”

Still wearing his swimsuit, he knelt before me and applying
pressure to my legs, he straightened them up, along his chest. “The kind that
doesn’t have a price tag but is sure to please,” he said, and holding my gaze,
he pulled my bottoms off, letting them drop carelessly to the floor.

He lowered my left leg onto the bed beside him, and holding
my right leg up, he pressed a series of hot kisses behind my knee before he
dragged his teeth back up my thigh. I hissed as a pleasurable ache shot through
me. When he shifted lower on the bed, I knew beyond any doubt what he intended
to do.

Reflexively, I tried to close my legs, but his strong
fingers held them apart. He pressed his palm against my sex. The warmth
startled me, and I let out a little moan.

“Don’t fight me.” The command was gentle. “I promise, you’ll
like it.”

In a state of arousal, my heart beat at a frenzied pace. The
sight of him over me—this sexy, handsome guy, the only guy I’d ever trusted to
touch me so intimately—consumed me with physical need. It had been so long ago
that I’d let anyone touch me,
that he’d touched me
, but it was the
sudden conscious awareness that I still loved him that weakened me. I was so
desperate to feel him, I didn’t have the strength or desire to stop what was
about to happen.