Read Say You Love Me Online

Authors: Johanna Lindsey

Tags: #General, #Romance, #Fiction, #Historical

Say You Love Me (22 page)

That brought out Edward’s frown and the remark, “There’s nothing funny about this, Tony.”

“Oh, yes—there is,” Anthony got out between guffaws.

“I fail to see—”

“You wouldn’t, Eddie,” James cut in dryly. “Perhaps because you’ve never been called on the carpet by our esteemed eldest.”

“That has some significance, I suppose?” Edward asked stiffly.

“’Course it does. What Tony would find amusing is that Jason will be making the scandal for a change, I find it rather refreshing myself—and long overdue.”

“You would,” Edward said in disgust.

“I was referring to the divorce, not the scandal. It was an absurd marriage to begin with and should have been ended long ago. That Jason finally came to his senses—”

Jason interrupted, explaining, “It’s Frances who wants the divorce.”


She
does?” Edward said. “Well, that puts a different face on it. Simply prevent it.”

“I’ve already made the decision not to.”

“Why ever not?” Edward demanded.

Jason sighed. Edward was the one he had expected support from, not opposition. And he had figured James would be falling off the couch laughing as Anthony was doing. Instead, James was in agreement with him. Incredible. And Derek had said nothing yet. He wore a slight frown, but one of concern rather than upset.

“She wishes to marry elsewhere, Eddie,” Jason said. “It would be selfish of me to deny her that when we haven’t had a normal marriage, as you well know.”

Edward shook his head. “You knew you wouldn’t have a normal marriage to begin
with. Warned you at the time that you would be regretting it, that there would be no backing out of it. But no, you said it wouldn’t matter, that you had no intention of ever marrying anyway.”

“Yes, you did warn me,” Jason agreed. “And it didn’t matter at the time. But am I to be held accountable indefinitely for a decision made in my youth when I was worried about the welfare of two younguns?”

“This isn’t
your
wish to divorce, it’s hers, and she should bloody well know better,” Edward insisted.

Anthony was sitting there grinning, delighting in watching the elders duke it out verbally. James had his arms crossed, looking his usual dispassionate self. Edward was red-faced, he’d gotten so worked up over the subject. And about the only thing that might change his tune was a bit more of the truth.

“She’s got a lover, Eddie. She admitted it. That’s who she wants to marry.”

Anthony blinked. “Frances does? Gad, that’s rich,” and he went off into another peal of laughter.

“Do restrain yourself, dear boy,” James said to Anthony. “This ain’t
that
funny anymore.”

“But Frances? His Frances? I bloody well can’t imagine it,” Anthony replied. “She’s such a timid little mouse. Who’d have thought she’d ever have the guts to—well, with Jason’s temper’n all, she was bloody well taking her life in her hands, and especially to admit it to him. Just can’t credit it, indeed I can’t.”

Since it
was
rather hard to believe, James glanced at Jason again for confirmation and got a curt nod, as well as, “It’s true. I was shocked myself, as you can imagine. But after digesting it, I could hardly blame her for being unfaithful when I’ve never—that is to say, she’s never had a true marriage with me.”

“Jason, that’s hardly pertinent,” Edward said, still frowning. “Marital ties have been known to be ignored by both spouses, but divorce has never been the answer, not in our circles.”


Never
is incorrect,” Jason replied. “There have been divorces in the
ton
, they are just rare.”

“My father knows well enough the stigma that will follow a divorce,” Derek said, finally speaking up. “I think it’s rather decent of him to give the old girl what she wants.”

Jason smiled at his son, his relief tremendous. Derek’s opinion, after all, had been the only one he was truly concerned with.

“Come now, Eddie boy,” James added at that point. “Even the lad can see that this dead horse has been beat enough.” And then to Jason, “You should have made it clear that you weren’t asking for a vote here, that your decision has been made. Your problem, brother, is you’ve always put too much weight on the opinion of your peers, when as long as
you
have no regrets over what you do, then it’s bloody well no one else’s business, is it?”

“That is a luxury not all of us can enjoy,” Jason pointed out. “Not when we must deal
with the peerage on a regular basis. But as you say, the decision has been made, and it will be acted upon today. And thank you, James, for siding with me on this.”

“Good God, is that what I’ve done?” James exclaimed with feigned surprise. “Come along, Tony, let’s adjourn to Knighton’s, where you can beat some sense back into me. I seem to have misplaced mine this morning.”

Anthony grinned. “That was probably as hard for him to say as it was for you to stomach, but I’m all for beating some sense into you, for whatever reason.”

“I don’t doubt.” James snorted.

Jason smiled fondly after his two younger brothers as they left the room. And then he met Edward’s disapproving gaze and sighed.

“You’re making a mistake, Jason.”

“It’s been duly noted that you think so. I prefer to think of it as correcting a mistake I made long ago.”

30


Found out what m’father called a family meeting
for,” Derek said the moment he entered the parlor.

Kelsey had been sitting in an overstuffed chair by the window sewing on something. She quickly stuffed that something in the corner of the chair before she glanced up at him, looking rather flustered.

But her voice was as calm as usual. “I wasn’t aware of any meeting that was called. Was I supposed to be?”

“That’s right, you’d left the room last night with the women before that subject came up.”

Her frown was abrupt. “Let’s not bring that up again, if you don’t mind.”

He winced. She had been more than a little displeased the night before when he had taken her home. She had been bloody well furious that he had put her in a position where she’d had to lie and pretend.

One of the things she had said in particular had stuck in his mind. “If you are obviously so ashamed of me that you have to call me a
widow or someone’s cousin when you introduce me, then do
not
take me to places where it will be necessary to introduce me.”

Ironically, he’d realized he wasn’t the least bit ashamed of her, that he was actually proud to be seen with her. And it had occurred to him, after he’d thought about it, that the real reason he hadn’t tried very hard to come up with an excuse not to take her to Reggie’s the night before was possibly that he had
wanted
his family to meet her. And that was so bloody absurd, it didn’t bear examining. No, he wasn’t ashamed of her, not at all. It was her relationship to him that was shameful and needed to be concealed, and there was, unfortunately, no way of getting around that.

“Was it so difficult, dealing with my relatives?” he asked.

“Your family is very nice, at least the women are. Your uncles are rather strange in that they
like
to argue and bicker, but that is nothing to me. The point is, they were deceived and shouldn’t have been. You know very well you should never have taken me there.”

He knew it. But it was done, couldn’t be undone.

And as long as they were on the subject, he told her, “My uncles know.”

“Know what?”

“That you’re my mistress.”

“You
told
them?” she cried, appalled.

“No, they both figured it out for themselves. They’ve each had countless mistresses of their
own, you see—before they were married, that is. It was still my fault, though, because it was apparently the way I was looking at you last night that gave it away.”

“And how were you looking at me?”

“Rather…intimately.”

“Why ever did you do that?”

“I didn’t
know
I was doing it until they pointed it out,” he insisted.

She was blushing by then. And he was reacting as he usually did, his body responding to her sweet innocence in a purely primitive way. He took a step toward her but caught himself and stopped, raking a hand through his golden mane, annoyed with himself.

He’d already broken one of his own rules by going to her before it was even noontime. He’d received startling news that morning, and although it was really none of her concern, he had wanted to share it with her. But making love to her now was out of the question.
She
wouldn’t expect it.

A mistress was to be visited in the dark, secret hours of the night. He’d already made allowances to come earlier so he could dine with her each evening. If he kept making allowances like these, he might as well move in with her so he could spend all his time with her.

What an incredibly tempting thought. To wake with her each morning. To breakfast with her. To tell her his thoughts as they occurred to him, rather than to keep them until he saw her again. To make love to her when
he felt like it, not just at what was considered the appropriate time.

He mentally shoved the thought aside because it was
too
tempting by half. What the deuce was wrong with him? He hadn’t even wanted a mistress in the first place. He might have changed his mind because of Kelsey, was very pleased that he had her, but still…

“You mentioned a meeting?” she said to end the long silence that had fallen.

“M’father’s getting a divorce.”

“I beg your pardon.”

“That’s what that meeting was about,” he explained, blushing slightly for having blurted it out like that. “So he could announce it.”

Sympathy filled her soft gray eyes, and she came out of the chair to put her arms around him. “Your mother must be devastated.”

“Actually—”

“You must be as well.”

She was trying to comfort him, and damned if he didn’t like that very much, enough to savor it for a few moments before he confessed, “No, it’s not like that a’tall. She’s my stepmum, you see, and although I’m quite fond of the old girl, she was never around often enough for me to form a strong attachment to her. Besides, she’s the one who wants the divorce.”

“Then your father must be—”

“No, no, dear girl, no one is devastated, really they aren’t—well, except perhaps for my Uncle Edward,” he added with a slight grimace. “He tried his damnedest to talk m’father
out of divorcing, but there’s no changing Jason Malory’s mind once it’s set.”

“Why did your uncle object?”

“I would imagine because it’s going to be a bit of a scandal.”

“But I thought you said it was your father who abhorred scandals.”

“He does, but he’s making an exception to grant Frances her freedom. They never had a normal marriage, you see. He only married her to give Reggie and me a mother. But that didn’t exactly work out as he had hoped. As I said, she was rarely home.”

“Why not?”

“Well, she’s rather sickly,” he explained. “So she went to Bath for the water cures quite often, until she finally just bought a cottage there and simply lived in Bath most of each year.”

Kelsey sighed, laying her head against his chest. “People shouldn’t marry for other than love.”

“Ideally no, yet many do.”

“Well, I’m glad you aren’t very upset about this.”

“And if I was?”

“Then I would endeavor to help you get over it, of course,” she replied.

“Why?” he asked softly.

She looked up at him, somewhat surprised. “Because that would be the mistressly thing to do, wouldn’t it?”

He almost laughed. That would be the
wifely
thing to do, certainly, but mistressly? A mis
tress might worry if her protector was angry or not, but whether he was happy or sad wouldn’t concern her very much, not unless it related directly to her.

“That would be very generous of you, m’dear,” he said, cupping her cheek. That she had been leaning against him for the last five minutes had quite done him in. “Perhaps I could use some of that help after all.”

Since he had picked her up as he finished, and was already heading toward the door, she asked, “You aren’t going up to the bedroom, are you?”

“Oh, yes.”

“But that wasn’t the kind of help I was referring to,” she pointed out reasonably.

“I know, but it’s the kind I need just now, and I don’t give a bloody damn what time of day it is.”

He said that so belligerently, she blinked. “Neither do I, actually.”

“You don’t?”

“No, why should I?”

“No reason a’tall, m’dear,” he said, grinning from ear to ear.

31

Derek had a few errands to attend to that afternoon
, and he decided to take Kelsey with him. It had been an impulse to do so, one he should have ignored, but he didn’t. His extremely mellow mood was likely to blame, and he could blame Kelsey for that.

She was turning out to be a splendid lover; at least, the pleasure he derived from making love to her was much more intense than he was used to, on a par with pure ecstasy. And after such an enjoyable hour as they had just spent, he was a bit more reluctant to leave her than usual.

The dress she donned for the outing was a surprise, though. Aside from that red dress she’d worn when he bought her, every time he’d seen her she had been dressed—well, more like a lady, and he supposed he had become used to that.

He was so surprised by the bright orange velvet with lime green trimmings that he remarked thoughtlessly, “I can barely see you in that, it’s so glaring.”

Which was true. Her other clothes had been tasteful and subtle in hue, so that her beauty was the first thing noticed, her gowns merely an enhancement to that beauty. But no one would be seeing anything but that atrocious orange when they looked at her this day, its brightness so hid her beneath it.

Belatedly, though, he realized he’d just insulted her. But she didn’t look insulted when he glanced at her.

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