Say You Want Me (2 page)

Then Todd destroyed everything.

I still haven’t forgiven him for committing suicide, and I hate myself for that, but now I have a void in my heart that won’t ever be fixed because of what he did. He was my best friend and he took himself away without any answers.

My phone buzzes after a few minutes.

Presley: Sorry, I had to help Zach. I love you, Ang. You’re going to be fine. I’ll be waiting for your call.

Me: Love you more. I’ll call with the fated news.

Presley: Dramatic.

I giggle as I hear a knock on the door.

“All right, Angie. I ran a quick test to check your iron, which is a little low, but easily fixable. Your sugar levels are fine, and we’ll send the rest of your blood work out. However, that’s not what has you as sick as you’ve been.” He looks up, and I freeze.

Tears form as I know the news he’s about to deliver. “You found something in my blood or is there something else?” The muscles in my body clench as I try to smother the fear that’s choking me. “Something abnormal?”

The doctor steps forward with a warm smile on his face. “Relax, Angie.”

“Please,” I plead. “Please just say it!”

“You’re pregnant.”

My jaw gapes as I try to reconcile the words he spoke. “What?”

“You’re pregnant,” he repeats.

No.

No, no, no. Nope. I refuse. I can’t be pregnant. I’ve only had sex with one person in the last six months. Jesus Christ.

I shake my head back and forth trying to unhear the words. “I had my period!” I finally shriek. “Last month! I can’t be pregnant. I haven’t had sex with anyone in months! The test is confused. You’re confused.”

If there’s anyone in this world that shouldn’t be allowed to have kids—it’s me. I’ve killed plants, countless goldfish, my cat ran away, and I have never had that internal clock ticking thing.

The doctor places his hand on my arm. “It’s not abnormal to have a period or two. But I checked it twice. You
are
pregnant. Congratulations.”

The doctor pats my leg and leaves the room. Oh my God.

I don’t even know what to think. I can’t be pregnant. I mean, I guess I am, but this is not okay. Not even a little bit.

I’m not supposed to be in my mid-thirties and pregnant. This isn’t part of the plan.

Presley: Don’t forget to call me when you know something.

I glance at my phone and try to figure out what to say. I guess this would be better in person, plus I need to tell Wyatt. Fuck my life. With shaky fingers, I send out a text.

Me: Looks like I’m coming to Bell Buckle. Might want to make up the bed in your spare room.

“L
ADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE CAPTAIN
has turned on the fasten seat belt sign. We are now crossing a zone of turbulence. Please return to your seat and keep your seat belt fastened.”

I cinch the belt so hard that I’m positive I’m going to pass out, then I loosen it as I worry it might hurt the baby. I hate flying. I hate being suspended in the air when, clearly, that is not how humans are meant to be. I’m in a tube of death.

Calm down, Angie. You can do this. It’s no scarier than finding out you were pregnant forty-eight hours ago.

“You okay, darlin’?” A nice man with a large cowboy hat resting on his knee asks.

I nod because I can’t find my voice. My throat is dry and I’m pretty sure my face must resemble Casper’s.

“You don’t look okay.” His drawl becomes deeper with concern. “You ain’t gonna pass out on me, are you?”

“No.” I give him a tight-lipped smile. “I have a lot on my mind.”

Understatement of the year. After leaving the doctor’s office, I took three home pregnancy tests because I truly thought the doctor was wrong. He wasn’t. So, I preceded to eat a gallon of Breyers ice cream. This at least explains the other week when I burst into tears while I was watching
Something About Mary
, though. I couldn’t figure out what had me so upset, but there I was . . . bawling. No wonder, I’m a hormonal lunatic.

I’ve never been more freaked out than I am now. I’m not sure how the hell I’m going to do this. Any of it. First, I have to tell Wyatt, which is the point of this trip. Do I blurt it out? Do I get him a hat that reads: Daddy across the front? Maybe I should say, “Hey, partner . . . we’re gonna have a kid and we’re both almost forty, so get your walker ready for the high school graduation
.
” Not that he talks like that, but whatever. I don’t know how he’ll react, but the truth of the matter is—we’re having a baby, which makes me want to cry.

Then I have to figure out how I’m going to be a single mom. I’ve never been more grateful for Erin right now. As soon as I told her about the baby, she immediately told me to take a few days off, and handle coming to Tennessee. Maybe it won’t be so bad.

“I understand that,” the very handsome stranger says. “Are you visiting family?”

“Yes. I’m going to see my sister and my nephews.”
And the father of my kid
. “They live in a tiny town somewhere in Tennessee,” I explain.

“There’s a lot of those.” He chuckles. “Are you from Philly or just passin’ through?”

“No, I live there. I have for almost twenty years now.”

“I spent a week there, interesting place. I’ve been a Southern boy my whole life. I don’t travel much, but my brother got himself a job outside the city, so I helped him move.” My heart starts to fall back into rhythm as he tells me his story. “It’s definitely nothing like Nashville, that’s for sure.”

I giggle. “I’m sure it’s not. We do have Starbucks, though.”

We talk a little more and then the plane lands without incident. Now is when the real shit starts. I’m going to walk off and come face to face with my sister and best friend. I’m going to have to admit what’s wrong and why I’m here. It won’t be my secret.

It will be the truth.

It all begins now.

“Thanks for keeping me calm,” I say to the cute cowboy.

“It’s not every day that I get to save a beautiful lady.”

When the door to the plane opens, he grabs his bag from the overhead bin, and I realize something.

“You know,” I say as he starts to walk off, “you never mentioned your name.”

He smiles, extends his hand, and tips his hat. “My name is Wyatt.”

Of course it is.

I disembark the plane and head to the baggage area. I need Presley to tell me this is going to be okay, because I’m freaking the fuck out.

Each year that passes, my desire for a family dwindles. The men I’ve dated look great on paper, but they end up not being what I need. They’re selfish, narcissistic, and I’ve never gotten close to being in a committed relationship. There was the one guy after college, but we dated for six months before I overheard him saying he was screwing someone else, so I dumped him. After that, it was random dates with casual sex.

I’ve lived all of my thirty-six years content with being the friend who never marries—the eternal bridesmaid and never the bride. It works for me. I like to know I can go where I want, when I want. But now my days of being unhitched to anything are long gone.

All because of one crazy amazing sexfest.

“Ang!” I hear my best friend call out as she rushes toward me. “I’m so sorry I’m late!”

Tears begin to form at the sound of her voice, and the second her arms enclose around me, a sob breaks free. Her touch unleashes the flood of emotions I managed to keep in check through my drive home from the doctor, the mindless packing, and the flight. Now though, I can’t stop them.

“Angie? What’s wrong?” She pulls back and looks in my eyes.

I see the fear in her own gaze, but it’s nothing compared to how I feel right now. There’s no easy way to say this, and I know she probably thinks it’s something worse than a baby. “I’m . . . I’m . . . I’m just so happy to see you!” There’s no good reason why I don’t tell her. I just know that I’m not ready.

She lets out a half laugh. “I’m happy to see you too!” Her all-knowing eyes pierce through me as she studies my face. “Are you sure that’s all? Not that I don’t love seeing you overcome with emotion at being near me, but you look like something’s wrong. What did the doctor say?”

“It’s not cancer.”

Her shoulders slump in relief. “Thank God. I was really worried when you wouldn’t say anything other than you needed to visit. Did he say it’s anything serious?”

She probably drove Zach crazy since she was clearly upset, but I didn’t want to tell her like that. I still don’t want to tell her. I want her support, that’s why I came, but I don’t know if I should tell Wyatt first.

“The doctor said I needed a break. Stress and all that.” I wave my hand dismissively.

Her lips purse, and she puts her hand on her hip. “I’m not buying it.”

“Whatever. I don’t think you’re one to give me shit about secrets.” I lift my brow. She knows damn well what I mean. Presley has lived most of her life clouded by things she suffered through alone. When my brother killed himself, there were only four people who knew the cause of his death. She struggled so she could keep her boys protected. By doing that, she had no one to help ease her burden—until Zach.

Even then, she wasn’t forthcoming about things. The secrets she held damn near destroyed her life.

It’s a low blow, but I’m hoping it buys me some time to garner the courage to tell her that her other best friend, and future brother-in-law, knocked me up.

I’m a fucking mess.

Pres grabs my bag in silence.

“I’m sorry,” I say, feeling like shit. “I didn’t mean that. I’m being a bitch.”

“I know. And I’ll be the first to remind you that secrets cause damage.” She grips my arm and looks at me with concern. “I love you, and I’m worried. I know something is going on. Something that you want to tell me, otherwise, you wouldn’t be here. You can sell your stress story to someone who hasn’t known you for almost twenty years. Try again.”

Damn her. “Give me a few hours.”

“How about we grab some Starbucks before we head to Bell Buckle?”

“It’s like you know me or something.” I smile. This is the best part of our friendship, we know when to let something drop and share a deep affection for coffee.

We grab our drinks. I subtly get decaf, which is pretty much blasphemous, and we start the trip to Bell Buckle. We chat and she tells me all about the wedding plans. It’s amazing how much this girl got done in a few months. I shouldn’t be surprised, considering she did the same thing with the bakery. It was a concept one day, and then the next thing I knew, we were signing a lease. Presley is smart, hardworking, and has the biggest heart of anyone I know.

When we enter the town limits, my muscles tense. We pass through, and I wonder when I’ll see Wyatt. It’s going to happen, but I’m so not ready to deal with him.

I have to figure out my plan so when I do see him, I have answers. Do I want to do this completely on my own? My parents and brother live in Florida (where I will stay far away from), Presley lives here in Tennessee, and the baby’s father . . . I have no one in Media other than the people who work for me. Having a baby is hard enough for married couples, but being a single mom with no support system—it will be damn near impossible.

One freaking fantastic night has completely changed my life.

“Angie?” Presley says, pulling my attention away from staring out the window.

“What?”

“I asked if you wanted to go out tonight with Grace and Emily? They’d love to see you.”

I sigh as I realize I can’t go out drinking. “I don’t know. I’m really out of it. And really tired.” I’m tired all the time now.

Presley looks at me with confusion clear on her face. “Umm . . . I’ve known you a long ass time and you’ve never been one to pass on a night on the town. Are you still sick? You look okay.”

The urge to blurt it out claws its way up. Tears start to form as I look out the window to avoid her gaze. Everything is going to change. I’m so beyond screwed. “No. I mean, I’m okay. I’ll be fine. I would rather stay home. Maybe tomorrow?” Admitting this tidbit of news is going to change the entire conversation. Presley is a fantastic mother, and I know she’ll see this as something great.

Not that I don’t love kids, but I never really saw myself as a mom. I’m content with my trendy apartment in downtown Philadelphia, the bakery, and my shitty dating life. It’s all that makes me—me.

It hits me then. No one is going to want to date me now.

I’m going to be the single mother that people pity.

I’m going to be alone.

My hand covers my mouth as a tear falls.

“Angie.” Presley puts the car in park at the end of her dirt driveway. “Angie, look at me.”

I shake my head. “I’m fine. It’s fine.”

“What did the doctor say?”

Her voice is so full of love and compassion. There’s something deep inside me that has a feeling she knows.

I clutch my stomach as I turn to look at her. “I’m pregnant. I’m—”

“Holy shit! You’re pregnant?” Presley’s hands fly to her mouth.

“Apparently.”

I can only imagine the shit rolling around in her head. My chest starts to heave as I think about this absolute mess. I’ve been in some shit before, but this is a whole new level. I’m going to have something that needs me to survive. There’s no way I’ll be able to handle this. I can barely handle my own life let alone another living thing. “Oh my God! I can’t do this!”