Read Scandal in the Village Online
Authors: Rebecca Shaw
Unable to wait any longer and wanting to be out of the house before the children came home from school and begged to go with him, Peter left the rectory at half past two. He drove steadily because he knew his mind was elsewhere. Past the dreaded crossroads where he’d had that strange encounter With the tractor, and on into Culworth. It was always difficult to find a space in the hospital car park at any time of day, but he could take advantage of the fact he was an official hospital padre and he parked in the space specially reserved for them.
Being familiar with the hospital layout he was in the ward in no time at all. The nurses greeted him and assured him things were going fine, she was recovering nicely and yes of course he could see her.
She was laid flat on her back, fastened to a drip and what seemed to him a multiplicity of tubes and wires.
‘Caroline! Darling! It’s Peter.’
Her eyelids fluttered and then opened, she looked vaguely at him and a smile started on her mouth but she slid back into sleep before it had happened. He found a chair, put it beside the bed, sat down and took hold of her hand.
Helpless. Totally vulnerable, his Caroline was right now. Always so organised and energetic. So loving and kind and considerate. He didn’t deserve her. This business of having to put others before his own, it was asking too much of anyone. A nurse came in to do routine checks.
‘Good afternoon, Reverend. You’re not to worry, you know, she’s doing fine.’ She patted Caroline’s cheek and said, ‘Dr Harris! Hello!’ Caroline stirred and opened her eyes. ‘All right?’ There was no answer, Caroline was sleeping again.
‘Everything seems OK. She won’t be talking for a while yet. Why don’t you go for a cup of tea or something? Another hour and she’ll be coming round properly.’
‘I do have another patient to see. I might do that and then come back.’
‘Good idea.’
But he wasn’t prepared for what he saw when he came back. He couldn’t see her for the hospital staff filling the room.
‘Stand away!’ They all stepped back from whatever they were doing and he had a clear view of Caroline’s body jerking with the electric shock. The monitor was displaying a straight line, no heartbeat at all. A nurse was counting and rhythmically pressing her hands on Caroline’s chest and they were giving her oxygen and everything fell into a sort of chaotic madness and all Peter could do was call out ‘Caroline? Caroline?’
Someone snapped ‘Get him out!’
‘Come along, sir, leave her to us.’ He felt hands steering him towards the door. He didn’t want to go out. His place was beside
her
. Peter turned to go back in. ‘Better leave her to us. We’re doing all we can.’ He felt hands pushing him away again. The sounds of instructions, of haste, of a kind of controlled desperate energy came through the door. She couldn’t be left alone not right now. He went back in. They were too busy to notice him. The line on the monitor was straight.
‘Caroline! Caroline!’ He called in his loudest voice. The sound ricocheted back off the walls, deafening in its intensity in that small room. There was a blip on the screen, and another and another, then the line went straight again and then restarted irregularly, and suddenly the blips were regular and the razor sharp alertness in the room reduced and with it the intensity of the last few minutes. There was an audible sigh of relief.
‘Right. Thanks everyone, she’s back.’ The line on the screen had a reassuring steadiness about its blips. The doctor stood beside the bed, cautious, alert, checking the controls, watching her breathing, observing her colour.
The staff began putting away the equipment disappearing to other duties leaving Peter with Caroline and the doctor. He became aware of Peter standing the other side of the bed ashen and trembling and saying ‘I’m not leaving. I’m staying here. No one is making me leave. Do you understand? I won’t be turned out. I’m staying with her.’
‘Of course. All night if you wish. My word, she gave us a few anxious moments there. Can’t do to lose a good doctor can we?’
Peter’s voice was shaky. ‘Nor a good wife, come to that.’
‘No, indeed. Definitely not. I’m so sorry. A doctor will be in and out and a nurse will be in very frequently to check her but should you have any anxiety just ring. We’ll need to find out what caused that little hiccough, if we can.’
‘Little hiccough! She died!’
The blips continued steadily.
‘Her heart stopped momentarily.’
‘Well then, she died. Don’t try to pacify me with euphemisms, I’m not for pacifying. In any case it was longer than a moment.’
‘I’m sorry, very sorry.’
The blips kept going on, beating away.
‘What caused it?’
‘Bad reaction to the anaesthetic possibly. We’ll have to find out. Most unexpected. Anyway, things have settled down now. If you need anything you’ve only to ask. She should be making good progress from now on.’
Less ashen than he was and with the trembling under control Peter thanked him. He pulled forward his chair, which had been pushed out of the way in the emergency, and sat down again beside her. Her hand he took in his own and bent his head to kiss it. He felt a very slight squeeze of her fingers and he thought he saw a tiny almost imperceptible smile on her lips.
Then his reaction began. Sweat rolled down his face as though he’d been running a marathon in a scorching midday sun. His knees went to jelly and his hands were shaking so violently he had to release Caroline’s for fear of upsetting her. A nurse came in to check the monitor, but didn’t speak. Peter couldn’t have answered her if she had; his throat had closed up and his teeth were clamped tightly together. The nurse noted his ashen complexion and the sweat running down his face.
‘Everything’s going to be fine, Mr Harris. Look.’ She pointed to the blips. ‘No need to worry. Not now.’
He nodded.
‘I’ll go put the kettle on, make you a cup of tea.’
The tea was in his shaking hands almost as she spoke. Time, somehow, had done a head over heels. He tried to get the cup to his mouth. But he shook so much it was spilling everywhere. The nurse took it from him and held it to his mouth herself. He was icy cold. The tea was burning hot.
‘Go on, drink some more, it’ll do you good.’
Slowly the shaking stopped and he took charge of the cup himself, with one eye on the screen he finished the tea right to the bottom of the cup where he could see grains of sugar undissolved.
The nurse held out her hand to take his cup. ‘Another one?’
‘Yes, please. I’m so thirsty.’
‘You’ve had a bit of a shock, that’s why.’
‘You could say that.’
‘Well, more than a
bit
of a shock. Won’t be a minute.’
Briefly he went to the telephone to speak to Sylvia and explain he wouldn’t be coming home just yet, possibly not until the early hours and he would be glad if she and Willie could stay and could he speak to the children and yes, Caroline was doing fine and thank you for everything. He reassured the children, yes, Mummy is doing very well. Yes, he was staying with her for a while and be good for Sylvia. Yes, he’d be home in the morning. Night, night, Beth. Night, night, Alex. Yes, he’d give Mummy a great big kiss. Night, night, sleep tight. God bless you both.
If he could, Jimbo avoided working in the Store on Saturdays but this Saturday it was unavoidable. Added to which Harriet was upset about Caroline, his mother was distraught at what she’d done and generally he sensed a black cloud over his life he could well have done without.
Life must go on though, he’d lined the morning papers up neatly on their shelf by the till, he’d tackled the meat counter, the vegetables were looking their sprightly best, the stationery racks were filled to bursting and it was October and Christmas would be upon him before he knew where he was. Last night had been a good night. If there was one thing he liked it was a good party and that twenty-first last night had been such good fun. He remembered he must ring Pat Jones and tell her how pleased he was with her efforts. People were a continuous surprise to Jimbo, who’d have thought Pat had such potential. Well, that was one thing he could give himself a pat on the back for, finding her potential and putting it to work to his advantage, and hers come to think of it.
The bell jingled and in came Peter. To Jimbo’s eyes he looked terrible. Gaunt, exhausted, shredded with anxiety.
‘Good morning, Peter. Well, what’s the news?’
‘When I left about three this morning she was beginning to shape up nicely. I’ve rung just now and she’s continuing to improve, so I’m taking the children to see her this afternoon.’
‘Thank God for that!’
‘I have. Just got some shopping to do, I want to take something in for her, and Sylvia wants a few things too. I’ll just take a look round.’
‘Feel free. I’d be grateful if you’d take her some flowers from Harriet and me. With our love.’
‘Thank you, thank you very much, she’ll like that.’ Peter took a wire basket and began to do his shopping. He’d just picked up the milk and a box of eggs when the doorbell rang, and in came Dicky. He saw Peter’s red-blond hair over the top of the shelves and began to beat a quick retreat, but Peter straightening up saw him as he was making his escape. ‘Dicky! I need a word!’
Reluctantly Dicky turned back and shut the door.
‘Now look, Peter, it was a harmless …’
‘See here, your personal life is your affair, but when it intrudes on the church then it becomes mine. What were you thinking of?’
Dicky looked down at his shoes, put his hands in his pockets and then looking up at Peter said, ‘To be honest I don’t know. I can’t help myself. It’s out of my control.’
‘Is it?’
‘You know this love business. Cupid strikes and everything goes up like a rocket.’
‘I know all about this love business, but you’re carrying it too far. I mean, a banner on the church, and the children coming for a service. Whatever they must have thought I don’t know. And Bel. What about her?’
‘She’s mad as heck, but I can’t stop it. I’m on a roller-coaster and where it leads I have to go.’
‘But Dicky, think of Georgie …’
‘Can’t stop. She’s gorgeous Georgie as far as I’m concerned.’
‘She is very attractive I know …’
‘Isn’t she?’ Dicky’s face lit up. ‘Very, very attractive. It’s the combination of that blonde hair and those petite features … and she’s just the right size for me! I can’t think why I haven’t realised it before now. Seen her day in day out when I’ve been in for a drink and then one day I looked at her and wham! bang! there I was head over heels. It was as if I’d never seen her before that day. I felt as though I’d been pole axed. She’s the yeast in my bread, the sugar in my tea, the icing on my cake, the fizz in my drinks, the cream in my coffee, the sherry in my trifle, the …’
‘Dicky! Please think of your position. You’re the Scout leader. You’ve an example to set.’
Dicky’s face fell. ‘I know. I’ve been a Scout since I was eight. In my blood as it were and if I had to give it up well ... it doesn’t bear thinking about. But … what can you do when love takes you by the throat? You know the feeling?’
‘Indeed I do.’
‘We’re twin souls then, you and me. I’ve just met Willie, he told me about Dr Harris, how’s things this morning with her?’
‘Coming on nicely. Came through the operation OK, just got to wait to find out how successful it’s been.’
Dicky put a hand on his arm and gave it a squeeze. ‘Lovely lady. It must be hard for you. I’m so sorry. Give her my regards won’t you? Must press on.’
‘Thank you, I will. Will you pay some heed to what I’ve said?’
‘Of course.’
‘There are four lives at risk not just yours, you know.’
Dicky nodded. ‘I know. I won’t use the church again for a banner or anything, but I can’t promise any more than that.’
‘Dicky!’
Dicky grinned. ‘My best wishes to Dr Harris. Very fond of her I am.’ His eyes twinkled and Peter had to laugh. Dicky handed Jimbo a loaf of bread. ‘That’s all this morning. Thanks. Be seeing yer! Bye!’ He dashed out of the door laughing.
As Jimbo totalled up Peter’s shopping he said, ‘I’m very very sorry about that rumour my mother spread. I told her not to say a word but there was no stopping her. I’m so grateful that Caroline didn’t hear it.’ He looked up anxiously. ‘She didn’t, did she?’
‘No. Mercifully. It was an understandable mistake.’
‘You’re too generous. She means well, just has this domineering streak you know. She’s very upset at what she’s done.’
‘Well, then, perhaps she’ll think twice next time.’
‘We should be so lucky. I’m dreading what she might get her teeth into next. I’ve an idea it could be opposition to the bells ringing. If I could just channel all her energy in the right direction before she …’
‘Don’t worry, Jimbo. How much?’
‘Twelve pounds ninety-seven.’
‘Thanks.’
Jimbo wrapped Caroline’s flowers. ‘Don’t forget the flowers! Here you are. Our love to her. She’s a great lady.’
‘Thank you, you and I, both of us have been very lucky.’
Jimbo couldn’t resist saying, ‘Well, looking at the two of us I should say they’ve been lucky too!’
Peter couldn’t help grinning, and as he left he said, ‘It always does me good coming in here, gets life in perspective, I don’t know how you do it.’
Caroline opened her eyes to see who had come in to visit her. ‘Darling! I hadn’t expected you tonight as well as this afternoon! How lovely! Are you sure you can spare the time?’
‘Of course I can. Saturday is my day off after all. These flowers are from Jimbo and Harriet with love, I forgot to bring them this afternoon.’
‘Of course. I’d forgotten it was Saturday. They’re lovely, how kind of them. I’ll get someone to put them in water. Were the children all right when you took them home?’
‘Absolutely.’ He didn’t tell her how they’d cried when it was bedtime, nor the way Alex had clung to him and asked when she’d be home, nor about Beth’s tantrum at bathtime when she’d laid on the floor and screamed and drummed her heels because he’d forgotten to put the bath bubbles in, when it was she who didn’t like them very much. Nor that Beth had gone to sleep with Caroline’s favourite scarf hidden under her pillow which for her sake he pretended not to notice, nor indeed that Alex had got his baby beaker out from the cupboard and insisted on having his bedtime drink in it.
‘Really?’
‘Well … they wanted you, naturally, but we got over that bit. How are you tonight, my darling? If you want me to go because you’re tired just say so.’
‘I am tired but I don’t want you to go. Sometimes I just fall asleep even when I’m talking to someone.’ She gazed somewhere behind his head and then said, ‘I’ve never had an operation before, you know.’
‘I know, neither have I. I think you’re being awfully brave.’
‘Not really. Peter …’
‘Yes?’
‘Peter, there’s nothing left of me now you know. Not the me that’s
me
!’
‘From where I’m sitting there seems to be all the bits left that I love, so what’s the problem?’ He reached out and lifted her hair at the front and pretended to inspect it. ‘They haven’t removed your brain too have they?’
‘Don’t make me laugh, it hurts!’
‘Sorry! Well, they haven’t have they? You’re still my Caroline whom I adore.’
Caroline turned her head away from him and stared at the wall. ‘But everything that makes me a woman has gone. I might as well be a hundred for what’s left that’s feminine. Whilst ever I had everything else intact there was, foolishly really, just a tiny bit of hope that I
could
possibly have your children even though my womb was tantamount to nonexistent. It was all very silly of me I know, because I couldn’t have carried a baby in fact, but now absolutely all hope is gone.’
‘As Rhett Butler would say “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn”. You and I will continue having a wonderful married life together and no surgeon, whoever he is, is going to put a stop to that.’
Caroline shuffled painfully about in the bed trying to get herself more comfortable. She was silent for a while and Peter thought she must be falling asleep again but she said, ‘What I’m so afraid of is that I feel less of a person than I was before. How can you possibly want me after this?’
‘Caroline, I’m not going to stop loving you just because, as Sheila Bissett would say, you’ve had everything taken away. It won’t make one jot of difference to me and we won’t let it make one jot of difference to you either.’
‘Do they all know?’
‘I expect so by now.’
‘I wish they didn’t have to.’
‘Unavoidable. By the way, your mother’s been on the phone, four times. She’s phoned the consultant twice and threatened what she’ll do to him if anything goes wrong. Apparently they’ve realised he was in the same year as your father at medical school. She’s coming down when you come out.’
‘Oh right. I can understand her wanting to come, and I’m grateful that she is, but I wish she wouldn’t, I shan’t feel like being stirred up.’ She fell silent and lay with her eyes closed. Without opening them she continued speaking. ‘I felt you pray for me yesterday. Well, not pray but kind of call out to me. I can’t remember when it was. Were you here when they brought me back from theatre?’
‘A while after.’
‘You said my name twice and I came back into the room to see what you wanted, it was really very odd.’
‘Ah, right! I see my flowers have come.’
She smiled at him. ‘They’re beautiful. Thank Jimbo and Harriet for theirs for me will you?’
‘Of course. Shall I sit with you until you sleep?’
‘Yes, please. I’ll go to sleep now.’
Peter rested his elbows on the edge of the mattress and held her hand close to his cheek and then kissed it. ‘God bless you.’
‘And you. Give my two little ones a kiss from me. I hope they’re not being too difficult.’
‘No, not at all. Good as gold. Between us Sylvia and I are managing very nicely, though we shall all be glad when you’re back.’
‘I do love them. So much. And you. I love you dearly.’
‘I know, and I love you.’
Faintly he heard her say, ‘We’re so lucky aren’t we, you and I?’ She squeezed his hand and smiled and then fell asleep.
In church on Sunday when Peter was saying prayers he told the congregation about Caroline’s operation, that it was for cancer and would they give thanks with him for her safe recovery.
No one prayed more fervently than Grandmama. She’d lived a thousand years since she’d met Peter on the Friday morning and he’d told her the real truth of the matter. Thank heavens she hadn’t met Caroline and said something. That didn’t bear thinking about. If only she’d listened to Jimbo and done as he’d said. But she hadn’t and she’d blundered on in her usual bossy way. But she was right about some things. After all he often took notice of her ideas for the Store. He never said he would, but next time she went in he’d have done whatever she’d suggested. Not always, but a sufficient number of times to make her feel useful. But for now she’d pray. Between her fingers she could take a peep at the twins sitting With Sylvia because they’d made a commotion in Sunday School and had to be brought out. Dear, dear little things. Wriggling about a lot, but then who wouldn’t at their age?
When the service was concluded Grandmama made her way to the twins and gave them each a pound coin. ‘Now this is for you to spend in the Store when Sylvia gets a chance to take you after school. It’s closed today but you can go in tomorrow, can’t you? Something nice, remember?’
Through tight lips Sylvia forced herself to say ‘What do you say children?’
‘Thank you, Mrs Charter-Plackett.’ The two of them studied the shiny coins for a moment and then stored them away in their pockets.
Having made sure the children had behaved politely Sylvia turned her attention to Grandmama. ‘I can’t disappoint the children when they’re so upset about their mother, but if it was my decision I’d throw that money back at you. You can’t buy favour with us, not with none of us.’
‘How dare you!’
‘I dare all right. I’ve found out it was you who started that rumour about Dr Harris being … you know. How could you? How could you?’ Sylvia stamped her foot and a small crowd, beginning to gather in the aisle because they couldn’t get past, were paying delighted attention to Grandmama getting told off.