Chapter 113
Nikki bundled Psalm in her favorite pink jacket and headed to the polls. William's words played over and over in her mind and though she was feeling her heart break, she knew she could not ignore the importance of the day.
She knew all hope for them was surely gone, especially after their recent exchange. He had no respect for her, she felt with sadness.
He hates me
.
She was low on gas and so decided to walk to the polling place, which was about a mile away from her home. When Psalm began to complain, she hoisted the child into her arms and continued her trudge.
“Hey, aren't you that woman that was in the paper?” someone called to her at a stop light. “You the girl that was doing all those nasty things?”
She hastened her pace, her eyes straight ahead.
The car rolled next to her. “You hear me talking to you? What you charge for some of that?”
Nikki began running, Psalm still in her arms. “Leave me alone!”
She raced into the street and a car screeched, swerving to miss her. “Look where you're going, lady!”
Nikki's heart pounded in her chest as she realized how close she had come to being hit by a car. She crossed the street and put a frightened Psalm down, letting the child walk. She had to get this under control. She could not start freaking out like this.
She walked up to the polling place, pulling out her ID. When she stepped to the table, she saw two women whispering behind their hands, then averting their eyes when they saw Nikki looking straight at them.
Her face grew hot with embarrassment, but she refused to retreat. She finished the identification process then followed another poll worker to the voting machine. The black woman was probably in her 60s, though she moved like she was twenty years younger. “You keep your head up, you hear?”
Nikki's eyes flew to the woman's face and she saw a steely understanding there. The woman pulled aside the curtain to the machine. “Don't let anybody make you ashamed of who you are. Never mind what happened before. All that is done. What matters is what you do going forward.”
Nikki stepped into the voting booth. She gave the woman a small smile. “Thank you.”
The woman stepped away, moving to the next booth. “You will be all right. You're a strong woman.”
Nikki left the polling place, the woman's words on her heart. As she walked back home, she passed a sign in front of a church that read, “Prayer works. Try it.”
Nikki realized she could not continue on this road alone. She didn't know the Bible as well as some others and she didn't devote as much time to church as Sister James, but she finally knew God had a place for her. She knew He hadn't been rejecting her all this time; she had been rejecting Him. She called on His name when it didn't seem to matter much, but at this critical hour, she hadn't trusted Him.
And now, as she walked back home, she just followed the advice of that sign. She would try prayer. Real, sincere prayer. As Nikki crossed the street, she prayed silently.
Lord, please forgive me for my actions and help me to trust You. Please help me to look to You and not to lean on my own understanding and make bad decisions. My life is a mess right now, but I know You have an answer. Please heal my heart and lead me the way You would have me go.
“Mommy,” Psalm said, looking up at Nikki.
“Yes, baby?”
“I love you.” Psalm smiled and Nikki's heart responded.
“I love you, too.”
Maybe being exposed like that in the newspaper wasn't the worst thing that could have happened to her. Now that her secret was out, she didn't have to live in fear anymore. She breathed in deeply and let the air out slowly as she realized she had spent a third of her life petrified of being found out. And now what? Her husband had left her, even before the news. Her best friend had stabbed her in the back.
And she had survived. She knew she would be all right.
She had finally found faith.
Chapter 115
William and the rest of his team gathered in a meeting room at a local hotel as they waited for the election results. An untouched celebration cake perched on a table.
Olivia received calls from poll watchers, who gave her updates. The precincts were coming in slowly. It was difficult to discern any early telltale signs, one way or the other, as the precincts seemed to be evenly split.
William tried to wrap his mind around a loss, even attempting to prepare a concession speech in his mind. He wanted to be gracious. He wanted to thank his staff. He wanted the night to be over.
But he clung to a tiny sliver of hope that he could indeed pull off this upset. A couple of political bloggers had been championing his cause lately, and all his speaking at luncheons and church functions and every other public event seemed to be having an impact as well, as people had started to recognize him around town. Of course, some mentioned those bad stories in the news, but many gave him positive comments. And it certainly had not hurt that a recent news story exposed Dark's plan to cook up a sweet deal for his cronies in a move that would cost taxpayers millions.
If William could emerge the victor, he would be the city's youngest mayor. As he looked around the room, taking in the faces of those who had been with him since he had stepped into the race, he felt a yearning for his wife.
Nikki should be here
.
The thought surprised him. He hadn't allowed himself to think about her much today, at least, not for long. Whenever his mind turned to her, he had tried to distract himself.
Olivia sidled up to his side and put her arm around his waist.
“We're going to pull this off,” she said. “I told you, if you'd just stick with me, I'd get us to the mayor's office. I always take care of my friends.”
He smiled. “What about your enemies?”
“I take care of them, too.”
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A guard ushered Danielle into the visiting area and Nikki couldn't hide her surprise. She had watched plenty of jailhouse shows on TVâand she herself had been behind bars not too long agoâbut nothing prepared her for seeing her friend dressed in oversized, drab correctional center garb, lines etched into her unmade and usually flawless face.
“Hi,” Nikki said. She had finally yielded, deciding to visit her friend.
“Hi,” Danielle said.
“How are you?”
“Not good.”
Silence fell between them. Nikki hadn't known what to expect, but it wasn't this. Her heart felt full as she saw her best friend humbled and afraid. She tried to muster the anger that had propelled her but it would not come. She could find no joy in her friend's anguish.
“I didn't go to the newspaper,” Danielle said, but Nikki held up her hand. She didn't want to get into an argument and she knew she didn't believe a word of the denial.
“We'll talk about it later.”
“No, I need to tell you something.” Danielle was insistent.
“What is it?”
Nikki saw Danielle swallow and look down at her hands in her lap before proceeding. “You know how I've never talked about my family?”
“Yeah.”
“And I've never really told you about them, no one, really?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, there's a reason.”
“I'm listening.”
Danielle slowly unwound the tale, telling Nikki about the day her father left and her uncle's abuse. Nikki stared in disbelief and tears welled in her eyes. It had never occurred to her that Danielle had come from such a broken past. She had always assumed Danielle had probably gotten into it with her family over something silly, maybe over Danielle's superficial nature and big ego. But Nikki could have never guessed such a sad pastâthat Danielle's mother had allowed her uncle to have sex with the girl.
“It was really hard for me to deal with and for the longest time, I tried, I really did,” Danielle said softly. “But one day, I couldn't take it anymore. I was so sad and depressed and I couldn't see how my life was ever going to get any better.
“I got one of my mother's razors and,” she paused and drew in a shaky breath, “I went to the bathroom after I got out of school and I got in the tub and slit my wrists.”
Nikki's eyes widened.
“I know it's silly and really cowardly but I didn't know what else to do,” Danielle confessed. “I didn't want to live.”
“Five minutes!” the guard called, holding up a hand to confirm the time.
“Well, anyway, after I got out of the hospital,” Danielle continued, “things were okay for a while, but I tried to kill myself again, and I would have except they found me. I tried to overdose on some of my mom's pills. This time, they made me go to a mental hospital, despite my mother's protests.”
Nikki put her hand to her mouth to keep from crying.
“I was there for a long timeâa year,” Danielle revealed. “I was in and out of mental hospitals from time to time, but I've been out for quite a while now. Those records are sealed, thankfully, and nobody has ever tracked them to me. But I know they're mad and they are out to get me. They want to come back for me.”
“What do you mean?”
“They're after me,” she lowered her voice. “Everywhere I go, I know people are watching me, waiting for me to mess up, to do something. They send spies. Maybe you're one.”
Nikki could see Danielle look quickly around, surveying the room, and she wasn't sure how to respond. But she didn't want to alarm her friend, so she spoke soothingly. “It's all right. They won't get you.”
“Time's up!” The guard shouted.
Nikki had so many questions. She didn't want to leave Danielle. But she also knew she couldn't bail her friend out. She had no money and hadn't come prepared to find a bail bondsman. She stood and turned to walk away, but looked back at Danielle, summoning the words the elderly woman had given her: “You will be all right.”
Nikki drove home, saddened by the story Danielle had told her, and wondering just what else she didn't know about her best friend. “How well do we really know the people we claim to be closest to?” she asked herself. That must be the same thing William wondered about her. The thought of William quickened her heart. The election results should be coming in soon!
She gunned the engine and made it to the house in record time. She raced into the house and clicked on the news.
“. . . newcomer to the political scene William Broussard handed incumbent Lo Dark a startling upset, despite personal chaos and scandal.”
“Yes!” Nikki screamed and jumped up and down. “Whoohoo!” Nikki was glad Psalm was at Keedra's. Nikki's exuberance would have awakened the child, she felt certain.
She paused to listen to the rest of the story. “LSUS political science professor, Kimberly Merritt, said young voters responded to Broussard's youthful enthusiasm and older voters were turned off by recent news reports that the incumbent was devising sweetheart deals to benefit his political friends at taxpayers' expense. This startling upset could not have been guessed even a week ago.”
Nikki smiled broadly, knowing William had finally realized his dream. She danced around the living room and picked up the telephone, punching in his cell number. It went straight to voice mail. “Hi, Will, I just saw the news. Congrats on your win! You deserve it.”
She hung up and turned back to face the television and stopped in mid-step. A live shot of William's celebration party flashed on the screen just as Olivia leaned into his arms and he picked her up and whirled her around.
Nikki slumped into the nearest chair.
The hotel was a dizzying array of well-wishers and hungry political power seekers, each clamoring for William's attention. Already, he had fielded four job requests, two entreaties to get somebody out of jail, and a zoning change question. Somebody even asked him for Dallas Cowboys football game tickets, though he had no connection to the football team, and someone else asked for Independence Bowl tickets, though William didn't know much about that operation, either. He committed to no one, merely smiled, slapping everyone on the back as he savored the victory.
His wife's absence tugged at him, but Olivia made sure he didn't dwell on that. She was glued to his side most of the evening, watching his conversations, discouraging anyone from taking up too much of his time.
“Congratulations!”
“Thanks, sir,” William turned to face someone he didn't know. But he smiled anyway.
“I was wondering if you could help my nephew get a job at City Hall,” the unfamiliar man asked, leaning in confidentially.
“Thanks for stopping by the celebratory party.” Olivia deftly slid between William and the man, twisting sideways to avoid bumping against the table. She turned to the man. “If you've not had a chance, please sign the registry so we know you stopped by, and be sure to drop your business card into the jar.”
She put her hand on the man's back, firmly steering him away. “Now enjoy the party,” she flashed a smile, “and have some cake.”
Olivia stepped back to William. “You need to make sure you speak to the governor's aide, who just walked into the room; and make sure you shake hands with the black chamber's president. Andâ”
“I don't care anything about the black chamber president,” William whispered in a tone only she could hear.
“You'll have to,” she shot back. “Go over there and make nice.”
“For what? They never endorsed me. Even up to the last minute, they kept jerking me around,” he said. “I don't need them now.”
“Well, still,” Olivia said. “Go over there. You'll want them on your side.”
“We'll see,” he said, though he had no intention of going out of his way to greet the chamber president.
The black chamber had been not-so-quietly looking for a replacement candidate after the first story about his wife broke, but it never took off. And at every turn, the chamber had criticized him. He wouldn't be vindictive, but he wouldn't go out of his way to be super-nice, either.
And to think, I won without them
. He smiled broadly.
He was celebrating without his wife. His smile dimmed.