Scars: Book One (8 page)

Aaron
cooked dinner while I sat at the table, obedient and docile. He must have
realized that there was no energy in me to fight or defy. He gave me my own
food on my own plate, but I still sunk down on my knees to eat it on the floor
without even being told. If he wanted me broken and submissive, that’s what he
would get.

I
kept my eyes on my plate, but I was so conscious of him watching me, although
he didn’t say anything as we both ate in silence. When I finished my meal, I
dared to glance at him. He’d finished eating and was leaning back in his chair
with his legs stretched out in front of him, his eyes never leaving me. I got
to my feet and took both our plates to the sink to be washed. Only after
everything was finished did I speak to him.

“What
now?” Apprehension twisted in me.

He
pushed his chair back and stood. “Come.” He held out a hand to me, and I
hesitantly reached out to take it. He led me back into the living room and only
released my hand when I stood in front of the fire. He opened the diary at the
desired page and handed it to me. I felt like vomiting as I took it, and my
heart beat wildly. He settled himself back in the armchair and waited.

‘They’re
gone. My house is empty and silent now, and just memories of the whore torment
me every time I enter a room, instead of Hannah. The whore turned her against
me. I took Rachel in her bedroom which I’d never done before. I did it at night
while Hannah was sleeping. I stood over Rachel’s sleeping form and sculled back
my whiskey. She looked like an angel, perfect and innocent, but it was all a
lie.

She
didn’t wake up until I wrapped my hand around her throat with the other firmly
over her mouth. I didn’t want her to distress Hannah by waking her. She awoke
with a fright but I told her to be quiet or I would silence her for good. Then
I fastened her hands above her head to the bed. She whimpered, but I slapped
her face. That shut her up. I punished her for a good hour before leaving her
curled up on her bed and weeping softly. I thought she was learning and that
soon she’d be the daughter that Hannah deserves to have.

I
woke up with a shocking hangover, to see Hannah standing over me, iPad in hand.
She slapped me; I sat up in shock.

“You
asshole.” She tapped the screen and pointed it at me. The whore must have had a
camera in her room because the preceding night’s events were right there in
detail, including sound. “In case you’ve got any ideas, this isn’t the only
copy.”

“Hannah–“

“Shut
up! You betrayed me. I loved you,
and you turned out
to be a monster.” There was brief hope in my heart when she told me that she’d
loved me, but then so did the reality that she thought I was a monster.”

“Hannah,
you have to understand what Rachel did. She coerced me, she behaved like a
whore. I was wrong to touch her in the first place, I know that. But you don’t
know what kind of…witch she is.”

I
knew I sounded crazy, but I didn’t know how else to explain it to her.

“Tell
it to the jury,” she snapped, tears forming in her eyes.

“No,
Hannah, don’t, please. Don’t go to the police. I’ve been in trouble before;
they’d come down on me so hard…”

She
threw the iPad down on the bed before sitting down beside me and hiding her
face in her hands. Her body shook with sobs, and I took her in my arms as she
cried her eyes out. She let me comfort her for a while before she pushed me
away and got to her feet.

“I
need to get away from here. I need to think!” She wiped the tears away on her
face before finally looking at me. “I need money. I need you to give me money
to get away from here while I decide what to do.”

I
swung my legs out of the bed and stood beside her.

“No,
Hannah. I love you, and we can sort this out. You don’t need to leave, and
you’re not going to the police.”

“I
don’t want to go to the police, but–“

I
reached out and took her hand. “No, you won’t go to the police, Hannah, because
if you do, something very bad will happen. Do you understand?”

She
frowned. “What are you talking about? Are you threatening me?”

“Shh.
No, Hannah. I love you.” I pulled her gently behind me as I went in search of
Rachel.

The
whore was slinging a bag over her shoulder. They must have been up early,
packing all their things. From out the window, I could see Hannah’s car packed
with bags in the back.

Rachel
tensed as I approached. I released Hannah as I stood in front of the little
whore.

“You
know what you’ve done, girl?”

She
looked me right in the eye. “You’re a monster.” My blood boiled at that. She
was the evil one that had set these events in motion.

“And
you’re nothing but a whoring little witch.”

I
punched her in the face, and she dropped. I didn’t mean to but it’s like that
other me took over. Hannah screamed behind me.

I
kicked at Rachel in my bare feet, right in her face. It felt good to hurt her.
I tuned out the noises around me as I kept lashing out at her. Hannah’s
screaming, Rachel’s crying and begging. I only returned to reality once strong
arms grabbed me, and I recognized my neighbor.

“My
wife’s calling the cops. Stop!” He yelled at me. That got through to me, and
suddenly I saw Rachel at my feet, blood smeared over her face and my foot as
she groaned. Hannah’s eyes were red as she helped the whore to her feet. And
that made me mad again but I couldn’t break free of my neighbors grip.

“This
isn’t over,
whore
,” I spat at her. “Don’t go,
Hannah. Don’t leave me. Don’t you dare fucking leave me!” They went out the
door. “I’ll hunt you down, you hear me? I’ll hunt you down!” Their car pulled
away just before the cops arrived. I recognized one of them as the arrogant son
of a bitch who’d arrested me that time before. He pushed me down hard as he
handcuffed me.

“You
still like hurting women?” he sneered. But I couldn’t even be mad at him. I
can’t believe that Hannah is gone. That whore ruined my life.”

I
snapped the book shut and looked at Aaron.

 ‘How
can you be so blind to what he is?” I really wanted to know.

He
leaned forward. “We all have our faults, Rachel. You set him up to fail. You
set out to seduce him. Why? I don’t know. And then when he did what you wanted,
you couldn’t deal with it. You fucked with his head. He was vulnerable and
messed up. He was trying to get his life back on track.” I couldn’t look away
from his intense gaze. “You pushed him and fucked him up. No, he shouldn’t have
done some of the things he did. But you need to take responsibility, Rachel.”

“Stop
calling me that name.” I was breathing heavily.

“See?
There you go, taking no responsibility, showing no remorse. Now for the last
time, admit who you are.” His voice was so calm, in sharp contrast to all the
turmoil swirling inside me. “Are you Rachel?”

I
threw the book at him, and he caught it and casually placed it beside him.

“
Yes
,”
I said through gritted teeth.

He
leaned back and nodded like he was pleased.

“Why
is that so important?” My voice was shaky. I knew I wouldn’t like the answer.

“Because
he’s coming for you.”

I
froze.

There
was no beating heart, no trembling, no breathing. There was nothing but this
room and its silence marred only by the crackle of the fire, and my captor
sitting in the chair and looking at me with curiosity. Soon, there wouldn’t
even be this.

I
let out a small laugh that was absent of any humor. “You may as well go and put
me in the noose right now then.”

He
looked down at the book briefly, studying the cover before bringing his eyes
back to me. “You’re more fun alive, Rachel.”

“Where’s
he been?”

“Prison.
Not for what he did to you. There were no charges for that because you
disappeared, but he assaulted a cop in the whole sordid business.” Aaron cocked
his head, looking thoughtful. “Why’d you and your mother give him fake names?”

My
heart stopped as my mind whirled.
Didn’t they know what we were?
Obviously
not, otherwise my mother would be here too. I’m sure my body didn’t betray me
when I answered him in a flat voice that showed none of the shaking that I was
feeling inside.

“Her
husband was abusive. She didn’t want him tracking us down.”

He
watched me, but I kept my lips pressed shut. “Is that right?” he said softly. “And
why did you seduce him in the first place?”

I
looked away, and kept my eyes firmly trained on the decanter filled with a dark
liquid like whiskey or something, that sat on a side table. I would have given
anything to have that pungent liquid down me and to numb everything.

“Answer
me,” he commanded, yet his tone was still soft.

I
shrugged. “You’ve been saying it all along. I’m a whore.” My tone was as
carefree as I could make it. “I just thought it would be fun.”

“Really?”
He didn’t believe me. It took all my will to shift my eyes back to his.

“Really.
I just slept with her current boyfriend as well. She kicked me out just before
you took me.” I put a smirk on my face, the kind of smirk that said that I
didn’t care, the kind of smirk that would make anyone want to smack my face in.
I shrugged. “It’s just something I do. Anyway, I don’t see the point in talking
to you anymore. The truth is what you’ve always known it to be; I’ve admitted
it. I’m going to my room.”

He
let me walk away. I half expected him to tackle me to the ground, although I
tried to walk as casually as possible, not betraying my expectation or
anticipation of him coming after me. I made it out of the room, down the hall,
past the locked door, and up the stairs. I exhaled when I reached the room and
shut the door voluntarily behind me.

Only
then did I let out a breath as I sank down onto my knees on the floor at the
edge of the bed.

My
mother may have been a cunt, but I wasn’t about to give her up to them.

Oh
god, Oh god, Oh god, Oh god

I
heard the beating of my heart thumping like a drumbeat that started to get
faster and faster. My body started to tremble, and I struggled to breathe. I
felt like someone had their hands wrapped around my throat and were squeezing.
I was lightheaded and dizzy, and all I could hear was the beating of my heart.
I was going to die. The realization hit me as I struggled for breath. I clawed
at my throat, but I couldn’t feel my nails. Was I already dead?

Then
Aaron was in front of me, he was saying something but I couldn’t hear him.

“I
can’t breathe,” I choked out.

“Yes
you can.” It sounded like he was speaking from a distance. “You need to calm
down. It’s just a panic attack. You can breathe, okay. Just breathe.”

And
suddenly I could. I was back in my body with air in my lungs and the hard
wooden floor beneath me. He scooped me up and set me on the bed, pulling the
blanket over me. I felt the bed dip as he sat beside me, but he didn’t touch me,
and eventually I fell asleep.

The
dodgy doctor that my mother had paid tended my wounds with fat hands that
shook. His drug habit meant that he wasn’t allowed to practice anymore, so he
was discrete providing the pay was good. The BMW he drove looked alien parked
outside the grungy motel we were staying in, so he must have been doing okay
from his illicit dealings.

After
he had finished taping my ribs, he motioned those fat fingers downward. “You
mother said you had some pain down there.”

I
clamped my legs shut. “It’s fine,” I said tightly. Those fingers weren’t going
anywhere near me.

He
shrugged. He didn’t care as long as he got paid. “The painkillers are on the
dresser. Don’t OD.”

He
grabbed his bag and headed outside to talk to my mother, who had been furiously
chain smoking and pacing outside while she spoke on the phone. It wasn’t long
before I heard his car roar to life and drive off.

Mom
came in then, her mouth tight as she clutched her phone with white fingers. She
sat on the twin bed opposite me. “You okay?”

I
nodded.  “What now? He’s crazy, Mom. I’m scared of him.”

“Me
too,” she said. A soft look came over her face for a moment, but it passed
quickly. She took a deep breath. “Listen, we can’t do anything else with this
guy anyway. I just got off the phone with my contact.” She sighed. “I didn’t do
my homework properly. Apparently he has some connections to the mob or
something. He knows some nasty people, so blackmail isn’t an option here. Sorry
babe, it was all for nothing.”

Relief
passed through me; I didn’t want to risk anything with this guy again. “What
was his deal anyway?”

“He
got in trouble with the law a while back. Kept some girl captive in his house,
hurt her pretty badly. He got caught, but the girl disappeared, so there was
never a case against him. I knew that if you managed to seduce him, then he
would be an easy target.”

My
mouth fell open. “Seriously? You knew he was violent, and you let me do that
with him? And you let him keep doing those things to me?”

A
hard look came over her. “I told you. I needed good evidence to blackmail him,
and your bedroom was the only place we could record him undetected.” She looked
away and sighed again. “He seemed so weak and broken; I knew that he was a
recovering alcoholic. He just seemed like such a good target.”

“You
threw me under the bus!”

Her
hand reached out and smacked me. Her eyes bulged. “I’m still your mother. You
don’t speak to me that way!” She got to her feet and straightened her skirt.
“I’m going to get a drink.” She grabbed her purse and headed to the door before
turning and I could see the regret on her face. “Listen, I’m sorry I hit you.
We’re going to lay low, okay? You can be Paige again, and we’re going to find a
small town and go on the straight and narrow for a bit. I’m already working on
getting your “Rachel” transcripts from school changed into your Paige name.
It’ll work out; you’ll see. Get some sleep, honey.”

I
awoke with a jolt, expecting to be in that awful motel room, but instead I was
in the awful house. I was alone in the room, but the door was wide open. I
stood up from the bed and headed to the bathroom. I used the toilet and then
brushed my teeth hard until they bled. After I had wiped my mouth, I couldn’t
drag my eyes away from that girl in the mirror and that look in her eyes that betrayed
everything she’d done.

I
made a fist, and then I punched the mirror as hard as I could. It shattered and
pain speared through me. I punched it again, and blood flowed everywhere.
Shards of glass mixed with red stuck out of my hand. I stopped and looked at
it, unable to drag my eyes away.

I
heard running on the stairs.

“What
the
fuck?
” Aaron grabbed the towel and wrapped it around my hand before
lifting me up and sparing my bare feet from the glass around me. He took me to
his bedroom and deposited me on the bed. “
Don’t move
.”

I
didn’t. He disappeared for a minute and then came back with a first aid kit. I
watched him silently as he first removed the glass, then applied antiseptic
cream and bandaged my cuts. He didn’t say a word the whole time, but I could
tell he was angry. His actions were stiff like he was controlling himself, and
his jaw was clenched. He didn’t meet my eyes once. He sat back on the bed for a
moment surveying his work. Then he took me by surprise when he grabbed my good
arm and yanked me up to the top of the bed. He fished a cable tie from his pocket
and secured me to the headboard, leaving my good hand free. Then he turned and
left the room, slamming the door behind him.