Authors: K.A. Merikan
James shifted his weight, hands clenched into fists by his sides. “Just leave us alone.” He darted a nervous look at Lady Shelley.
Ira exhaled and let her go, deciding this amount of intimidation should be enough. “Don’t try to fuck with us, lady!” he said in a low voice. “Ya’d better want to ‘ave us as friends.”
James nodded and Lady Shelley quickly moved a few paces towards the door, ready to run if Ira laid his hands on her again.
“We’ll be leaving." James didn't look at Ira, who sighed and strolled over to the door to open it for him. Regardless of knowing he did the right thing, he feared James would be unhappy with the decisions he made for them both.
They were both quiet when they left the room and by the time they walked out of the apartment, the uncomfortable silence was almost ringing in Ira’s ears. The crushed look on James’ face wasn’t helping either.
“She’d never stop,” he tried, desperate to make his lover say something, even if it was to be a reprimand.
“Now I don’t know what she’s going to do!” James shook his head, his long hair hiding his face from view. “You read the letter, didn’t you? How dare you--” he uttered, slowly going down the stairs, deflated and upset. Ira hoped for more anger.
“I know I shouldn’t ‘ave.” Ira's chest felt tight. “But ya looked so sad and I knew ya lied to me.”
“I didn’t want you to know. What do you think of me now? I’m an utter failure! I give in to a blackmailer and I can’t satisfy my wife. I'm not much of a good father either,” James sulked as they reached their floor.
“Hush!” Ira opened the door to their apartment to let him in. He didn’t know how to deal with this depression. “Not ‘ere!”
James sighed and walked straight to his own bedroom, ignoring the drawing room where Katherine and Henry had to be waiting for him. Ira followed him, but stayed at the door, watching James slouch down on the mattress. He didn’t seem willing to look up at him. Although it pained Ira to see him like this, he decided not to let it show. “James...”
“What? You see me as I am now,” he whispered, running his fingers through his silky locks. “Pretending to have a grip on it all.”
Ira decided to give him a moment of silence, but then came closer and slid down to his knees, taking hold of his lover’s hands. They were cold and stiff. “Should ‘ave told me.”
“Why? So you can solve my problems? I’m twenty-five. I should be managing these things... And stop opening my doors!” James clenched his hands into fists with Ira still holding them gently. Ira could understand where that frustration came from. For a grown man, a husband and a father, it had to be humiliating to be discovered in such a position. But James wasn’t a ruthless man and he didn’t have any experience in such dealings.
“Ya my lord... it’s my duty to open ya doors,” Ira answered flatly, looking up at his lover, who gave him a frown.
“It’s not. I’m not a lady and you don’t have to kneel either.”
“What if I wanna kneel?” Ira brought his partner’s hands to his mouth, rubbing his lips against the soft skin. He would do anything in his might to help.
“I suppose... I'll have to use your services.” James
finally relaxed into the touch. “We’ll see what Juanita’s next move will be.”
“She’s scum!” Ira gave him a sharp look, his nostrils widening as he exhaled. “Ya much better than ‘er! ‘ow dare she!”
James looked resigned. “She knows what she’s doing. Even a suspicion could inflict serious injury to my career, not to mention my marriage.”
“Now isn’t she a foreigner?” Ira narrowed his eyes. “Who would believe ‘er word over yars?”
“Maybe.” James shrugged, visibly tired. “Let’s just go meet Katherine.”
Ira got to his feet and pulled James into a tight embrace, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. “Don’t ‘ide things like this from me. We’re in this together.”
James looked at him for a long, breathless moment, before moving in for a strong hug. “I want to be perfect for you.”
Ira laughed, relieved, stroking his back. “Nobody’s perfect, but ya damn close, boy.”
*
The early afternoon sun reflected on glass windows of the buildings around Hyde Park. The entrance fee was high, but it catered to all needs of those who could afford it. Some parts of the park were kept as a wild garden, appealing to those in need of solitude or willing to experience a fraction of what it was to walk through a forest behind the London walls. Other areas were well maintained and dignified, with tidy walkways, neo-classical pavilions and statues, which were cleaned daily by attentive staff. Because of the scarcity of food, some of the former flowerbeds had been planted with decorative vegetables and fruits, which were regularly sold to visitors. Unexpectedly, what was intended as an act of reason, sparked a craze among young ladies to grow edible plants on their balconies. When the fruit bloomed, it was given to friends as fashionable accessories.
James’ family made use of the lovely weather and went on a picnic in a grassed plot commonly used for this purpose. The staff prepared their spot, furnishing it with a set of garden furniture made of brass and adorned with avian motifs.
Katherine sat in one of the chairs, in the shadow of a blue parasol built into the back of her seat. She wore a fashionable cream chiffon outdoor gown complete with thin gloves and an elaborate hat. From the park cafe, they ordered a large picnic basket containing cutlery as well as delicious cold food: from finger sandwiches to tartlets. A large pot of tea was refilled by a parkmaid at all times.
James sat next to his wife, lost in thought. They were watching Ira play with Henry further away, rolling around on the grass and doing some mock fighting. Since Ira's arrival, the boy's make-believe interests shifted from soldiers to sailors and James was a little worried about the maritime stories his lover might have been telling Henry. His son looked perfectly happy though. Upon Katherine’s suggestion, James commissioned an intricate but sturdy model of a sailing boat for Henry’s birthday, named after his mother. The boat would be suitable to use in a bathtub and with the boy’s new attraction to naval legends, it would get its share of sea combat, giant octopi and sirens.
“They’re getting along quite well, aren’t they?” James smiled to Katherine, who burst out laughing, when their son ‘shot’ Ira with a toy musket. The man feigned a painful death and fell to the ground like the best of actors. It was amazing how stern he could be with the likes of Lady Shelley, yet so gentle with Henry.
“I would have never thought someone like him would be skilled with children.” Katherine gave James an enthusiastic smile.
“Right? When we met him he seemed somewhat... brutish, didn't he?”
“Indeed.” Katherine followed Ira's moves with a slight flush on her pale cheekbones. Now that he knew about her attraction, it was impossible for James not to notice, and he didn't understand how he could have overlooked it all this time. “He must have some better blood in him,” she concluded with a slight nod.
“Definitely!” James concurred, but frowned at the sight of Ira tying a cloth over his son’s eyes. It seemed somehow inappropriate, taking into account that Ira did that to him only a few days ago, but for a different purpose. Tied to the bed, blinded and at Ira’s mercy, James came so hard he almost ripped one of the fastenings on his arm.
He cleared his throat. “And you are enjoying his company too, aren’t you...”
“Ah, of course,” his wife said unblinkingly, but the way she cast her eyes down for a moment did not escape James’ attention. “But he is still just a servant.”
James didn’t know how to start this conversation. After all, how would a husband suggest to his wife that he wouldn’t mind if she took a lover? There was no etiquette for improper things of that sort. It was just the two of them now, with Ira and Henry’s nanny focused on the boy, and the ambience was comforting enough. James saw no point in trying to postpone it any longer. “And does he remind you of signor Casanova?”
The teacup his wife was holding clattered against the saucer and at once, all he wanted was to steady her delicate hands in his and provide some comfort.
“Excuse me, darling?” Her voice remained calm, but lost its color and her eyes remained fixed at the trembling surface of the tea. James could tell by the way her lips thinned how nervous she had become. Katherine was afraid of his reaction and it was killing him, because it was
her
who should be disappointed with their marriage.
“What I mean is, maybe I was not clear enough. Do
I
remind you of Casanova?” he tried, but knew it wasn’t exactly what he wanted to express. Still, it was a start.
Katherine’s breasts heaved like Lady Shelley’s earlier that day. “I still don’t know what you mean.” She put the teacup back on the table and pretended to adjust the hem of her dress.
James sighed, watching her rigid moves. He half expected her tiny hands to break from the strain.
“Because you seem to be really fond of that book...” he trailed off, frustrated by his own inadequacy. How on earth was he supposed to discuss these things? Men were so much easier to talk to, not nearly as sensitive as his wife. He didn’t want to offend her, but they
were
husband and wife after all.
Katherine swallowed, but then dared to look at him with nervous lines around her eyes. “I do like it,” she confessed in a tiny voice, clasping her delicate hands together.
“Katherine...” James returned her gaze, slowly turning his knees towards hers until they were almost touching through her skirts. It was the most intimate gesture he'd made since the birth of their son. “Sometimes I feel... there is something missing between us.”
She looked away, biting her lip like an anxious child. “You do?”
“As if I am not giving you everything you need, my love.” He reached for her hand.
Katherine let him hold it, but her body remained tense like that of a wax figure in Madame Tussaud's. “I get everything I need from you,” was all he finally got.
James sighed, caressing her fingers. “It seems to me that we are more like brother and sister. With a bond that cannot ever falter.”
Katherine exhaled. “That we are, James.”
“And I suppose it is fair to say that we will probably only ever have Henry?”
Katherine let out a nervous breath. “I don’t know.” She averted her gaze and glanced at an elegant lady who sat alone on a bench nearby.
James followed her gaze and blinked, hardly suppressing the urge to get up from his chair when he saw it was Juanita! She had some nerve to come here and stalk his family!
“You don’t know?” he muttered, averting his eyes from deviless incarnate to finish the conversation he was having with his wife.
“Why are you asking me this all of a sudden?” Katherine murmured in a high-pitched voice; her hands clasped tightly in her lap.
“It’s not sudden, darling.” He rubbed his temple. “I have been thinking about this for quite a while now. I just could not find a suitable time to bring it up. I apologize for making you worried.”
Katherine interrupted him, wide-eyed. “I’m not worried,” she insisted, her chest moving quickly above the tight corset. “I have little Henry... and you, what else could I want?”
“I don’t know, darling.” James slouched, trying not to think about Juanita’s presence. “Maybe there is something.” All of a sudden he felt useless. He couldn’t even reach out to his wife for understanding.
“Are you asking if I want another child?” Katherine looked at the table again, and took a piece of hard candy from a small porcelain bowl.
“I’m saying,” James gulped, “that if it happens I will not be offended.”
Katherine grew silent. They could hear their son roaring in an attempt to imitate some kind of animal. Ira picked him up and nodded at James with a carefree expression. He didn’t have a clue what kind of drama James was going through right now. James’ heart pounded and he gave his lover a forced smile. Their interactions were so much easier.
“And you...” Katherine snatched him out of his thoughts with a meaningful cough. She traced her lips with her fingertips in a nervous gesture. “You don’t want another son?”
“I think... it might be better to just have Henry.”
Katherine glanced at him with an unreadable expression. “I am nothing but a sister to you, aren’t I?”
James slouched with the weight of her disappointment. “I am sorry. It is just impossible to choose such things.”
“What things?”
He remained silent for a while, watching the playful confrontation between Ira and Henry. “Matters of the heart.”
She swallowed, shifting in her chair. The silence between them was so thick James could cut it with a knife and by the time Katherine replied, he went through all the horrible possibilities in his head.
“It is hard... to see someone you grew up with as more than a brother,” she said flatly. “I do understand you more than you might think.”
James looked up at her and once again held her hand. “The last thing I would want is for you to be unhappy.”
“My dear...” She managed a weak smile. “I think I am very happy to have such a generous and caring husband.”
James smiled back at her. It took a lot of build up for this conversation, but looking at Katherine, he knew there was more understanding between them now. Surprisingly, knowing that she didn’t love him as a man from the start didn’t hurt his feelings. If anything, it took a great burden off his chest. James married her out of obligation, to secure the future of his childhood playmate in a world that was being torn apart and in hope that marriage would help him change what he was. But he did care for her more than anything, and he would hate himself knowing that he caused her unnecessary pain.
Katherine swallowed, squeezing his hand tighter. “Who is she, darling?”
James drew in a sharp breath, surprised by her frankness. “My love... I hope I can tell you one day. But maybe today it is not yet possible. And no, it is not Lady Shelley.” He paused with a growing smile. “I hate that woman with all my heart!”
“James.” Katherine’s face became serious. “As your wife, I need to make sure it’s someone worthy.”
“I hope one day I can tell you.” James sighed, baffled that she was willing to go this far with the conversation. James always knew his wife was a special kind of woman. "But you need not worry. It is someone very kind.”
Katherine shook her head; eyeing him with the kind of curiosity an older sister might have about her brother’s sweetheart. “Well, I hope you know what you are doing, darling.”
James wanted to say something but before he opened him mouth, they heard some sort of commotion. There were people rushing down the nearby alley, but he couldn’t make out what it was they were yelling. He sprung to his feet, feeling a shiver run down his body when he spotted ladies in the running crowd. It was not a usual sight to see.
“Ira! Can you come here with Henry, please!”
“What’s happening?!” Katherine made a move towards their son, glancing around frantically.
“I’ll take him.” Henry's nanny rushed over to take the child from Ira, who stood motionless, taking in their surroundings with a deepening frown.
“Can you stay with my wife, please?” James asked him, knowing there was no safer place than with Ira. “I’ll ask the park guards what’s happening!” His heart was pounding. Something was wrong. People ran towards the gates and James flinched when a lady fell to the ground, stumbling over her skirt. He almost darted in her direction when he saw a man, most likely her companion, turn back to help her.
“With all due respect, sir, maybe it should be me to go?”
James frowned, but he knew there was no time to deliberate, so he nodded.
“Lord Hurst!” he heard from the side and his eyes went wide when he spotted Juanita striding towards them in her uncomfortably tight dress. Not without satisfaction, he noted that a full medieval armor might have been easier to run in than what his nemesis was wearing. A thick-fingered hand closed around his wrist, taking his attention off Juanita. It was Ira.
“We go. Now.”
“Lord Hurst, please let me go with you!” cried Juanita, grabbing James' other arm and as much as he despised her, he couldn’t just leave her without any assistance.
“There is a shelter in the parliament building.” James was trying to figure out what was happening but all he heard was a wordless cacophony of fright. Should they mindlessly follow the stampeding mass or was it wiser to know the danger before acting? He couldn't decide, but then someone answered all his questions with one blood-chilling sentence.
“Run! The undead are coming!”
James felt as if his knees were going to give in. His wife gave a strangled cry as she fell back into the chair. “Oh God!”
“Emma, go with Henry!” Ira urged the nanny as he moved towards Katherine. “We're movin’
now
!”
James ran up to Katherine and helped her up. “Let’s go out through the west gate,” he muttered, trying to force his mind into focus. He had to get his family to the parliament buildings as fast as possible. Just as they left their spot, London vibrated with the shriek of sirens and countless bells. James got nauseous at the sudden memory of what happened the last time he heard this kind of alarm. No one survived but him and Katherine.
Ira looked back at James and Katherine, who was following him as quick as she could in her gown. “Loosen her corset!” And with that, he darted forward to catch up with the nanny, already halfway through the grass plain.