Scornfully Yours (Torn Series) (23 page)

Sure, my love for Carter weren’t as strong as before I met Bass, but it was still there. It was lurking in there somewhere and when I least expected it; it popped right out at me like a jack-in-the-box.

Carter…where the heck do I even begin with his tumultuous rollercoaster?

I tensed when I heard a twig snap bringing me out of my reverie.

Well, isn’t it the very man himself following me about?

     “Emma.”

I sighed. Couldn’t I just have a moment’s peace without him hounding me?

     “What do you want Carter? Are you giving me my phone back? If you came here to be an ass again—then I suggest you go back before I pummel your body into the ground!” I threatened.

     In reality, I am not capable of beating him into the ground—he’s all muscle, but I needed to relay the kind of angered state I am in. Carter was being beyond unreasonable.

     He makes two-year old tantrums easier to deal with.

     Carter deeply sighed as he raked his large sexy hand through his hair. The moonlight made him look even more dangerously beautiful, much to my dismay. The last thing I needed was for me to gawk and praise his Adonis form and beauty. Carter already had an over-sized ego. I didn’t need to sign-up on the lengthy list of his army of women.

     “Em—I know I’ve been such a jerk to you for the last three months. It’s just—that’s how I was used to things and I don’t like changing what is normal to me. But this past week has been pure hell. I really want you back in my life.” Carter came closer, pained and unsure. He stared at me with such burning emotions, I felt faint. “I’m sorry. Please…please…
forgive me
?” He asked as he tried to reach out to me—but I quickly moved to the side, not wanting him to touch me.

Words.

I have realized that words don’t mean much. Actions do speak louder than words. One can lie and utter any damn lines to soften a girl up…but actions…actions can move mountains. Through actions, one can reach their dreams and goals,
not words
. In reference to the movie
Tristan and Isolde
, Tristan spoke his love through actions. Yeah, he never failed to tell Isolde that he loved her, but his actions were far more powerful. He proved his unwavering love, no matter the circumstance. It was beautiful and at the same time fatally tragic. 

Sorry
from Carter wouldn’t cut it with me. Well, not anymore.

     “You’re sorry? For the last week, you’ve been acting like a rascal who wanted his old toy back. Well—that’s just it, Carter! I told you I was done with you. I am done with our half ass kind of relationship. I want more than sex. I want commitment—
I want it all!
You’re not that man—you have phobia when it comes to commitment. So, please, just walk away and stop pursuing me.”

     He moved a little closer before he spoke, sounding more sure, more than ever. “I could be and I will—
for you
I will, Em. Just give me a chance!”

     Empty promises, they didn’t mean shit anymore. Oh, he’s good with those.

     “Promises—here we go again. Save your promises for another woman who would rather die to hear them from you. I am not that woman, Carter—
not anymore
. It’s best you get that drilled in your head.” I hugged myself and started to walk fast, away from him and back to the cabin.

I was so
over
this.

I’d reached my limit when it came to Carter. I don’t think I can stomach this crazy tug of war with my emotions anymore. I needed to move on and never look back, no matter how much it pains me to do so.

With renewed determination, I walked towards the clearing. I wasn’t sure if he was following me or not. It was hard to because my ears were ringing from our encounter and it didn’t help that I was more than tipsy.

I halted when I heard him.

     Halfway through, he yelled on top of his lungs, “I love you.” His voice was choked up, abundant with tortured pain.

     Frozen, I let his words sink in.

The words I have waited to hear from his lips were now my reality. I fought the emotions that roared through me, igniting my whole body, burning me with a crackling fire and purpose.

     In quick haste, I turned around and ran towards him. “Don’t you fucking dare use
love
in this, Carter! We both know you don’t do ‘love’. You don’t get to use that as a fucking weapon.” I spat at his face, even more furious that he was riling me up. He has the
audacity
to use that damn four letter word. The gall!

     My determined stance and face spoke volumes. He wasn’t getting through to me. He knew I meant what I just spat at him. Carter would not weaken my resolve. I’ve been there done that.

     Carter stared at me for a second, his face contorted with misery. He looked simply wounded and in utter disbelief that I threw his declaration of love back in his face.

     His breathing was ragged and his pained gaze simply eviscerated me. His Adam’s apple bobbed before he rasped out. ”Emma,
please
…”

My eyes searched his and in that very instant I knew he meant every word. Defeated, he sunk to his knees with whooshing air. With his head down, he inhaled air into his lungs—deeply—like he needed to get as much to enable him to breathe properly. Startled, I stared at the broken man kneeling before me with panic.

What the hell do I do? Biting my lip, I freaked out some more.

My thoughts left my brain when Carter looked up to me. “I
love
you, Emma. I’ve loved you after the first night you spent in my arms. I’ve been in love with you all this time, but I never had the courage
or
strength to tell you how I felt because I’m a coward. But being a coward made me lose you and now I’m trying to brave it out for you—face my demons because of my love for you and you alone.” His voice wobbled, “I feel like half a person without you, Em. I can’t function. I need you back. I want you back because I honestly love you.”

     God! He did mean it.

     Shit.

     Fuck.

     Shit.

     There went my damn perseverance.

     Carter…

    
“My father used to be so in love with my mom, to the point where nothing made sense to him unless my mother was around, close to him. My mom was his obsession, his drug. But even with his obsessive adoration, my mom cheated on him. One night she came home and told my father that she was pregnant and the father was her personal trainer. My mother decided to leave us that night. She was moving in with the man that got her pregnant…but my dad…he was distraught…but even then, he begged my mom not to leave him. He even went on and promised to love the child she was carrying as his own because he loved everything about her and if the baby was part of that bargain, he’d take it in a heartbeat. Lindsey was too young to understand what was going on. But I did, I saw what love could do to a man. It weakens you and it makes a fool out of you.

That same night of her revelation, my mom left us. My father, fool that he was, followed her out in a separate car. My mom ended up crashing her car against a broken truck on the side of the road. I guess dad was following closely behind her because his followed suit. I’m not sure it happened because he didn’t have much time to maneuver
or
if he did it on purpose so that he could follow mom.

You see, Emma. Love doesn’t come easy for me. It was one thing I promised myself not to do–I didn’t want to follow in my father’s footsteps. I wanted to hide it from you…for as long as I could but you leave me no choice. When I tell you I love you…it’s because I do, it’s the truth.”

     Oh, my God…Carter does love me.

     “Get up, please…” I begged. I couldn’t stand the sight of him hurting and in evident pain as he knelt before me.

     Carter shook his head, clearly adamant. “No—not until you take me back.”  His contorted face gave away as to how serious he was about not getting up until I really took him back.

     I’m torn. What do I do? Do I wait for a sign until I take him back
or
do I just grab this opportunity to be with the man I had fallen for? Maybe this time, we could make it work as a couple who are in love and not just in lust for one another?

Bass…

What about Bass? Bass and I have known each other for such a short amount of time. With Bass, yes, I lusted after him. Who wouldn’t? But it was Carter who I loved, right? This was my chance to have my heart’s desire.

    
Then
…what am I waiting for?

     “Fine, I’m taking you back…as long as you promise that you will try very hard to make this work. I’m giving you this one chance, Carter, don’t fuck it up.”

     “What did you say, Em?” he asked, a smile forming on his handsome face.

     He obviously heard me, but wanted me to say it again.

     “Uh, now you’re just driving me nuts!” I complained as I held out my hand for him to grab onto, so I could lift him up. But to my surprise, he pulled me down with him. I let out a loud squeal as he tickled me to death.

     With my back on the ground and Carter on top of me, I felt deliriously happy. Our faces were inches apart and he spoke. “I love you, Emma and I promise to be loyal to you and
you
alone. I will give you my all to make you happy, I promise you that.”

     God, let’s hope so because I’m dropping Bass Cole for you. You better make it worth it.

     I linked my arms around his neck and looked at man I had fallen for, for the first time after he said those words, seeing Carter in a new light, I whispered, “I love you, Carter Mason.” 

     “
Thank the fucking gods
! ‘Cause if you didn’t, I wasn’t going to let you leave the cabin until you tell me that you do.” I laughed at his statement as he kissed me passionately.

     I moaned as his mouth ambushed my senses. His hand possessively captured the side of my cheek as he voraciously fed his appetite with hot lingering kisses. With his hard body on top of mine, his hand reached inside of my sweater, pushing my bra aside he caressed my breast and pinched my nipple.

     I groaned as he whispered my name. “Emma…I love how you come apart in my arms.”

     Carter didn’t give me much time to think as he took my leggings off. The chilly night didn’t hinder our urgent need to be together, the need to feel each other…the need to become one. My thong was flung in the air next as I looked at the man who consumed
me. I watched as he took his shorts off with no shyness or inhibition. His gorgeous muscled body basked in the moonlight as his gaze burned with fire and full of ardent passion, heady lust, and savage desire.

     His dark eyes obliterated me and he was all I could see, feel and need. Without another word, he annihilated my lips as he parted my legs and harshly plunged inside me with one hard thrust. I gasped as his huge cock filled me, hot and demanding. My body craved and savored every heated, hard thrust he gave. He was rough, savage, and hungry. He hungered for my body and my heart and with each trust he owned me.

     “Give me more, Carter. Give it to me hard.”

     With haste, his left hand cupped my ass cheek, lifting and pressing it against him, making it easier for him to go deeper–stretching and filling me to capacity as I reached for his ass to shove it deeper inside me. We panted and mated like we were dying and couldn’t live without each other. He held my hips with his strong arms, his manhood still jammed inside me as he shifted us to a sitting position with me on top. With my feet planted on the lush cool ground on the sides of his hips, I linked my arms on his neck, kissing him as I rode him hard with urgency and greed. 

     “Take everything that you want from me baby. Ride me harder—
give me your all
. Give me that nice juicy pussy again and again. I want your pussy to eat my cock whole. Ride me harder, baby.” Carter groaned as I clutched his shoulders harder and took him as he commanded me to.

     “Carter!” I choked out as spasms hit me in waves.

     His lips sought my neck and bit into it as my orgasm shattered me into pieces. I moaned as he took charge of my hips and lifted me up and down, sliding in and out of me as he prepared for his own release.

“FUCK, BABY! You’re the best fuck!” he grunted out as he came inside me.

     Limp and distractedly happy, I laughed as he tried to kiss me. “This is crazy. I can’t believe we did this out here in the lush clearing.”

     “Sorry—I couldn’t control myself. I was dying and needed to have you as soon as possible. There’s no one else but you, Emma.” He looked soulful as he stroked my flushed cheek. “Thank you for giving me this chance again, Em. I will make you very happy.”

    I smiled as I kissed him.

    I hoped he meant his promise because I don’t know how I could stand it if Carter hurt me again.

     But that’s what love is right? We have to take a risk or we’ll never know what love truly means.