Authors: Fiona Knightingale
It was late afternoon and I was coming around the other side of the house, when I caught my breath. In this heat, he had decided take off his shirt and was now in the process of cutting wood. His muscles were gleaming and the way that he swung the axe showed that he was all man. I couldn’t help it and I put my finger up to my mouth and started to have some naughty thoughts. It was only briefly, but it was enough to make me see him in a different light.
It only been a couple of days, but so far I was very impressed with what I had found upon exiting the stagecoach.
I hadn’t been back to town, but I knew that I would have to tomorrow morning for Sunday mass. I had made some of my mother’s favorite foods. Baking was my passion and I was planning on feeding that passion with making others happy. Of course, it wouldn’t hurt to have a few extra dollars hanging around in case of emergencies.
The only problem was that I couldn’t keep Avery from sticking his fingers in the pie. He was a curious sort and as a child, I could almost see him, as being precocious. I imagine that he was a hellion and that his mother had a hard time keeping him under control. I had to constantly playfully slap his hands away from the goodies. He pretended to be rejected, but I knew that he was just teasing.
“If you’re just going to stand there and watch me, then you may as well pick up the axe and do some of the work.” I had not realized that he knew that I was there. I think that he was making fun at my expense. I wasn’t going to stand for something like that without doing something about it.
“I thought that you would never ask.” Before he could react, I grabbed the axe from his hand. I put it between my knees, spit into my palms and rubbed them together. He stood there defiantly with his arms crossed and I think that he was wondering what the hell I was doing. “Avery, let me show you how it’s really done.” I’d never done this before, but I felt empowered to give it a shot. I had watched him for some time and my husband was quite proficient at doing the same thing. I just mimicked what the both of them did. I wasn’t as strong, but I could hold my own with the best of them.
That first crack against the log made it split in half. I was elated and I struggled with another piece to put it back on the stump where the other had been lying. I got the hang of it pretty quickly and I think I even surprised him and myself at the same time.
“You’re definitely not the kind of woman that I was expecting. You really do have a mind of your own. Somebody tells you that you can’t do something, then you’re going to prove them wrong. I like that. It shows the strength that comes from within.” I felt a little dizzy after the 10
th
log and I fell backwards and right into his arms.
“Whoa, I don’t know what happened.”
“Hope, what happened is that you overexerted yourself. You’re stubborn and that’s a good trait, but it can also be detrimental to your health. I love that you handle yourself, but maybe you should let me finish up what is left. You go inside and lie down. Get yourself a glass of water.” I knew that he was worried about me. It wasn’t the first time that I had swooned at a man’s feet. Unfortunately, I knew what was causing the dizzy spells. I’d yet to tell him that I was pregnant with my husband’s child.
I knew that eventually I would be showing, but for the most part I was wearing baggy enough clothes that I was able to hide what God blessed me with. It was one thing to come into his life with my own baggage, but it was another thing entirely to bring my husband’s along for the ride.
I stood there and watched him and I wasn’t sure if I could really forgive myself if somehow he had found out some other way. This was the kind of news that had to come from my lips, but it wasn’t sure how to bring it up in conversation. It wasn’t like I could just be eating with him at the supper table and say it out of the blue. He’d probably choke on the chicken.
“Hope, don’t make me come over there. I know you’re stubborn, but maybe you should heed my warning. This heat can be taxing on most people. Stay inside and let me take care of those things that has to be done out here. I’m looking forward to seeing what kind of creation you make tonight. That stew that first night was amazing and then you made a chicken dish with rice last night that took my breath away. If you’re trying to find a way to my heart, then through my stomach is not a bad way to start.”
His strong back and his muscles were showing just what kind of man I had come to know and love.
It happened, so quickly that I didn’t even realize it, until this very moment. I think I loved him from the moment that I met him, but I couldn’t in good conscience say it out loud. I felt like I was betraying the memory of my husband. I also knew that he would want me to be happy and to find a good man that would show me the respect that I deserved.
Avery didn’t disappoint and this was the kind of guy that any woman would feel lucky to have in her life. The money was nothing compared to his heart of gold. He had not tried to kiss me or touch me in any way, even though I felt that he wanted to on a couple of occasions. I think I secretly wanted the same, but I just didn’t know how to say it. I’d hoped that he would see it somehow in my eyes, but maybe he was just a typical man and was oblivious to the way that a woman looked at him.
I did relax and knew that the baby would need a little bit of a breather. I’d come down in the middle of night and polished off the rest of the stew. I was eating for two. Avery asked me about it and I told them that there wasn’t anything left after we were done with it that night. He looked at me with suspicion, because I think he knew that I was lying, but had no idea why. It probably made him a little perplexed to think that I would try to hide the fact that I had consumed the last of the stew.
After a while, I got up and made the fixings for a meat dish that my mother taught me how to make. I knew that once he smelled it through the kitchen window, he would be drawn to it like a moth to a flame. I smiled when I heard the door slam and the telltale snap of his hat, as he slapped it against his thigh. There was no need for words. He sat down and waited patiently for me to serve him.
I could tell from looking at him that he would need a bath and after I had finished my meal, I went about to boil some water and take it up to the claw tub. He watched me, but I don’t know that he actually knew what I was doing.
I put my hands on the table and I looked at him sternly “I think it’s time that you have a bath.”
“I didn’t think I stunk that badly.” I pointed to the door and the way to the stairs. He put his hands up in mock surrender. He climbed the stairs and disappeared into the bathroom. I followed the sound of the splashing water and I peeked in to see that he was inside the steaming water. I stepped in closer, but not too close that I would see anything that I shouldn’t. I took the washcloth from his hand and he peered over his shoulder to watch me, as I began to give him my undivided attention. I washed his shoulders and I felt his head move back against me. He had his eyes closed and he was enjoying my hands working him over.
I put my hands around to the other side and did the same thing to his chest, until I saw something about to appear above the water at his waist. I cast my eyes away. He grabbed the cloth from my hand and placed it over the problem.
“Excuse me. I think that you can take care of the rest.” I was giggling like a schoolgirl. I closed the door and leaned my body against it with a smile on my face that I don’t think that I could wipe off even if I wanted to.
Chapter five
Sunday morning and he was dressed to impress in his Sunday best suit. I had on a dress that I had found in my closet. It wasn’t there before and how he knew my size was beyond me. It fit perfectly. It was one of those dresses that you would never wear when you were working on a farm. It was however something that would make tongues wag and people stare like they couldn’t quite believe what they were seeing. It must have cost him a small fortune, but it was well worth every penny that he had spent.
“Hope, I have to say that you are a vision of loveliness. I’m glad to see that you like my present. I wasn’t sure about the color, but it sort of called to me from the shop.” It was black and I had to admit that it was very slimming.
“If I do say so myself, Avery, you look very handsome.” He bowed and I curtsied and then he took my arm and we went back out to the very horse that he had brought me here on.
“I don’t want you to think that everybody is staring at you. If they are, it means that they are jealous.” I knew that he was just trying to prepare me for the accusing eyes “Besides, I really don’t think that you care what other people think. You do what you want and be damned what the consequences are. You take risks. You’ve shown me in these last few days that you’re not like most women. You don’t have that same mentality to serve them like a king. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate everything that you do, but it took a little bit of getting used to to see you wielding that axe. Is it wrong to say that I found that quite exciting.” I slugged him on the arm and he winked at me knowingly to let me know that he was just pulling my leg.
“I think that’s the reason why I love you.” This was first time that I had said it out loud. I had already admitted it to myself, but now it was out there for him to hear as well. He stopped at the horse with his hands on the reins. He turned and looked at me with those same piercing blue eyes. “I mean, I’m…I’m…oh hell, I don’t know what I mean.” It was an awkward silence, until he took my hand and he got down on the ground.
“I’m glad to hear you say that, Hope. I think that I felt the same way from the moment that I saw you. It was like love at first sight. I didn’t know that something like that existed. The more that I got to know you, the more that I wanted to know more. I want you to have this and I want you to wear it with pride. It belonged to my mother and I think that she would want me to give it to you.” The ring was like a revelation that I had found love in the most unlikely of places.
“Avery, I don’t know what to say.” I stood there staring at this ring and the way that it was shining like a brilliant sun. “This is, so unexpected.”
“Hope, you really don’t have to say anything. I just thought it was high time that we finally admit our feelings. I guess I was scared that you didn’t feel the same way. Had I known, I probably would’ve said it the moment that I put my hands around you on the horse.” I guess my woman’s intuition was on the Fritz. I really had no idea that he felt like that and he had somehow hid his feelings. I guess nobody really knows what somebody is thinking, unless you ask.
“Of course, Avery, I will marry you. You have been nothing, but kind. At first I thought that this was just going to be a matter of convenience. I think I let my loss blind me to what was standing right in front of me. I’d never wanted to replace my husband with anyone. I don’t think that I could ever do that. I do think that I have room in my heart for more than just one love of my life. He’ll always have a piece, but now I have found another to settle down with and be happy.”
I felt like screaming it to the world and then he kissed me. It wasn’t like he had asked permission. He had done it in the spur of the moment, spontaneously with a sense of urgency that came from knowing that he would regret not at least trying something like that. It caught me off guard and my eyes were wide with surprise, as his hand went around and held me at the small of my back. I finally closed my eyes and immersed myself into it like a warm bath. His arm surrounded me and I never wanted it to end. He finally let go and helped me up onto the horse. I was a little speechless and I was still having difficulties with getting my breath back.
As we rode into town, he whispered into my ear “I hope that I didn’t do anything to ruin the moment. I just thought that the best way to make our love complete was to seal it with a kiss. I never want to make you feel uncomfortable and if I did, I apologize.”
“You don’t have anything to apologize for, Avery. I’m glad that you did it.” We arrived at the church and I knew that this was where we would say our vows in front of a town that probably wouldn’t be able to look at me.
I stepped through the doors and he guided me to one of the pews on the left side. We sat down and listened to the sermon, but for the most part we just couldn’t keep our eyes off of each other. It was like we were dating and I was sure that people could see that this was not just any mail order bride situation. This was different and we had found something that a lot of people would search a lifetime to try to find.
After the hour was up, we filed out of the church and this woman came over to me “I just want to congratulate you.” I thought that she was talking about the ring on my finger, but then she put her hand on my belly. “I’m sure that he or she will be very healthy.” I was stunned and I stared at her and then at Avery. His eyes showed confusion, but then a sort of recognition came alive.
“I’m sorry.” I ran from the church, running, until I couldn’t run anymore. I was bent over and holding onto a tree near a pond on the outskirts of town. That was not the way that I wanted to tell him, but the cat was out of the bag. I heard the slapping hooves and I had a glance back to see Avery had somehow tracked me down. I didn’t have the strength to go on, so I was just going to have to face this head on and hope for the best. He jumped down and he walked over, while biting his bottom lip.
“There was no need to run off, Hope. You could have told me and I would have understood. This doesn’t change anything. I mean, it does, but it doesn’t. I still love you and I will be honored to be a part of your family.” I wasn’t expecting him to be, so nice about it and then the tears began to fall. I wasn’t sad. In fact, I was overjoyed to the point that I couldn’t hold it in. I’d never been so happy that I was crying tears of joy. I think my emotions were all over the place. “I have to admit that I was a bit shocked. When you ran off, I realized that I didn’t want to be without you. It doesn’t matter if you’re pregnant with Hank’s child. I want you in my life and what I said to you before still stands.” He put his hand on my shoulders.