Scrimmage Gone South (Crimson Romance) (31 page)

Well. She had to get out of here and fast. Might as well walk to the diner. She needed to arrange with Lou Anne to get enough fried chicken and macaroni and cheese for fifteen teenage boys anyway. They were going to want to eat, no matter whose life she had changed today, be it for better or ruin. After that, she could, maybe, see if Lanie was home. Or Lucy. It was too far to walk to Missy’s. Barring all that, she could hide at her office. That might be better anyway.

Arianna had promised to call her when it was all over and she could go home again. Arianna hadn’t asked, hadn’t given any indication that she even wondered, why she wouldn’t be expecting Nathan to make that call.

Nathan would never call again, and that had to be okay. At the end of all this, if he had his mother, it would be worth it.

• • •

Nathan noticed the rental car in front of Miss Caroline’s house, but he didn’t give it much thought beyond wondering if Brantley was making one of his lightning fast visits, where he flew in from wherever he was working and visited for seven hours and fourteen minutes.

The door was ajar so he didn’t ring the bell. She was expecting him. Maybe she was naked in bed, though that was probably too much to hope for.

He pushed the door open. “Townshend?”

“She’s not here.”

His mouth went dry. His stomach turned over. His hands went numb. Everything that had ever happened to anyone in a time of severe shock happened to him. Except fainting. He didn’t faint. Or die. Not yet.

How odd, that he only recognized her from pictures. And that time she showed up for his graduation. He hadn’t spent much time looking at her, though. He couldn’t get away fast enough.

“Where is Townshend?” he asked. Crazy thoughts went through his head. That phone call had been so odd. Had Arianna held a knife to her throat and made her call? Was she tied up somewhere? Or worse? It was possible. What did he know about this woman?

He didn’t wait for Arianna to answer. He moved through the house, calling Townshend’s name. Empty bedroom, unmade bed, and his jersey at the foot. He checked the kitchen, the bathroom, and all upstairs.

“Where is she? What did you do to her?”

Arianna frowned. “Why would I do anything to her? She offered to ask you to come over. Then she left to give us a chance to talk.”

“You mean trick me? No. Townshend would not have done that. You did something to make her make that call. She wouldn’t lie to me. She wouldn’t trick me like that.”

Then he stopped short. Why did he think she wouldn’t? Of course she would. She was a proven liar and nothing if not deceptive. He knew that; he’d just been willing to overlook it.

“Perhaps she did it for your own good,” Arianna said. “And if you’d take my calls it wouldn’t have come to this.”

“I am way past taking your calls. I
took
your calls. Remember? And you left. Again.” He turned toward the door. “I’m out.”

“Nathan, wait! Please, talk to me. I came all the way from Paris. I haven’t even slept.”

“You can sleep on the way back.”

“Wait. Please. Give me twenty minutes. At the end of that, if you tell me to go, I’ll never try to contact you again.”

“Yeah?” That sounded like a good deal. Twenty minutes for never having to wonder if she was going to call again, or worse, turn up. Yet, that wasn’t the reason he backed away from the door. He’d always wondered what she would have said to him if he had given her the chance on one of those random times when she thought about him.

He pulled out his phone and set the timer. “Go.”

“Can we at least sit down?”

He folded himself into that too small chair that Townshend liked to sit in to read. He didn’t want to sit in Townshend’s favorite chair, but he wanted even less to sit on the sofa with the surprise of the decade. He would have stood, but his knee was pounding.

“Thank you.” She sat down. And didn’t say anything. If she was waiting for him, she was going to have one long wait.

“I don’t know where to start,” she finally said.

“Yeah? Well, looks like you could have worked that out on that plane where you weren’t sleeping.”

“Oh, Nathan!” Tears spilled down her face. “Do you think I didn’t? Do you think I haven’t thought of a thousand things I want to say to you? But now they all seem wrong.”

“Wrong or right, your time is running out. I’ve got football to watch.”

“You’re like me, you know.”

“I
don’t
know that. I don’t know anything about you except you leave your baby and don’t keep your promises. You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t aspire to that.”

“I deserve that. But what I meant was you look like me.”

“That’s what they say. I bet my knee doesn’t look like yours. It looks like a hungry zombie got hold of it for breakfast. I’d be surprised if you have any scars at all unless they’re behind your ears. But, in case you didn’t know, I’ve had some surgeries. Oh, wait. You
do
know. You were coming when I had my first one. But it conflicted with your pedicure appointment. Or maybe it was your dog’s pedicure appointment. I forgot.”

She cast her eyes down in shame. “It wasn’t like that, Nathan. I don’t expect you to understand.”

“Then you won’t be disappointed.”

“Are you always so mean?”

“Yes. I am. I am the meanest bastard on this planet. Ask my team. They hate my guts.”

“Tolly doesn’t seem to think you’re mean. Unless I miss my guess, she loves you quite a lot.”

“Do not speak of her!” And he didn’t want to speak of her either. Or think about her. He’d get to that, but right now she had to go in her own little box and stay there. His head was too full. Maybe she’d stay in that box for good. Yes. After this, he never wanted to think of her again.

“I want to be in your life,” Arianna said.

“Yeah? Well, people in hell want ice water, but they aren’t getting it.”

“I’ll do anything.”

“Okay. Here’s what you can do. I need someone to keep my locker room clean. Wash my boys’ uniforms. Polish their helmets. You can do that. That would qualify as being in my life.”

“Nathan.” She had the audacity to use a reprimanding tone. He knew all about tones and how to read them. He lived his life surrounded by teenagers. Tone of voice was one of the few weapons they had.

“Don’t take that tone with me,” he said. “Do you know who can take that tone with me? Who can make me take my hat off in the house and who I say ‘yes, ma’am’ to? Lou Anne. That’s who. She was there when I came out of surgery, every single time until I moved to Texas. She wasn’t always there when I went in because she had a living to earn that had nothing to do with standing in front of a camera, but she was always there when I came out.”

“Then I owe her.”

“Yeah? You owe Lou Anne? Well, why don’t you mosey on down to the diner and try to pay up. See how that works out for you.”

“That’s right,” Arianna said. “Get it all out. We can’t begin to have a productive conversation until you do. I deserve it and more. But I am your mother. I’ve done a bad job of it and I’m sorry. You will never know how sorry. But I think we’ve wasted enough time.”

“I haven’t wasted
any
time. I’ve been busy. Speak for your own self.”

“All right, I will,” she said quietly. “I came here because of what happened to you. I wanted to offer you some sort of comfort. I know it’s too little too late. There are so many opportunities when I should have been there to give you comfort. I know you must have cried for me after I left. You were old enough that you knew who I was and you adored me — would reach for me when I came into the room, no matter who had you. I wondered who gave you comfort for that. And later, when you would have been teething, when you were sick. When you fell learning to walk. There’s a whole lifetime of comfort that a child needs. And after you weren’t a child anymore, too. I think we might have made something of our relationship had you not gotten hurt. I think about that a lot.”

“We could have anyway. I don’t know what my getting hurt had to do with it. We were doing fine, talking on the phone. You promised to come, and you could have. You were done modeling by then. Your divorce from your third husband was final. You could have helped me. I
needed
help.” God, did his voice have to sound so needy, so wrought with longing? He had not intended that. Now, he would seem weak and she would go in for the kill. Whatever that was.

She nodded. “And that is my biggest regret. Some would say it should have been leaving you in the first place. And I do regret it, but never like when I turned my back on you during that time. See.” She closed her eyes. “I don’t expect you to understand this, but I cannot be around pain and suffering. It’s an illness for me. I tried to come to you. God knows I did!”

“Well, I don’t need you now.”

“No, you don’t,” she said. “I hoped you would. You don’t need me. That time is over and that’s my shame and my loss. Your loss too, I guess, but not your fault. You have become a fine, wonderful man. I am so proud that you are my son, even though I have no right. But let’s put aside need. Let’s talk about want. Can you honestly tell me that you’ve never wanted to know me, never wished things were different? We share DNA, Nathan. I grew you inside of me. I named you. And I loved you. I still do. Is there no part of you that doesn’t want some sort of a relationship?”

No. He did not, not with her. Oh, there had been a time, but that time was up. And her twenty minutes had to be about up. He wasn’t sure why he did it, but he reached into his pocket and turned the alarm off. She didn’t notice because she was looking intently into his face.

“And Nathan.” She leaned toward him. “I’ll wash those uniforms and clean that locker room, if that’s what it takes. Do you know why? Because that would mean that I could walk where you walk and touch the things you touch. And, maybe, just maybe, if I do it long enough, you’ll believe me.”

He sighed and put his head in his hands. It was so confusing. He was out of anger, out of energy, and the walls around his heart were getting too thin.

“Will you consider it, Nathan?” she persisted. “Agree to spend some time together? Just a little, at a time of your choosing? Just a few days, or even hours. Whatever you decide. I’ll take what I can get.”

“I don’t know … ” And why did he say that? He
did
know. He wanted nothing from her.

“Maybe a few days at Christmas? I’d love you to come to Paris. I have a friend with a private plane who would — ”

“No!” He put his hands in front of him. “No. I am not going anywhere on a private plane, let alone France.” If he did this thing, if he decided to see her, it would be on his turf and he’d be under his own power the whole time. No question about that.

“Well, then, we might meet somewhere. Or I could come here.”

“I don’t know. I’ll think about it. Maybe.”

She reached into the big ugly tote bag looking thing at her feet. “I want to show you something.” She pulled out her iPad and laughed a little as she turned it on. “Now, I don’t expect you to be interested, but it might be fun for you to see. Also, the people who are making the offer would like to meet with us, and a few days in New York at Christmas on someone else’s dime might be fun.”

What? Offer? What in the hell could she possibly be talking about? She didn’t have any sports connections.

She was all coy voice and dancing eyes now, as she fiddled with the tablet. “This is just the silliest thing. The ideas people get!”

“What are you talking about?”

“Well, I’m sure you’ve heard that Celestial Silk is launching a new fragrance and for the first time ever, a companion masculine scent.”

And just where would he have heard that?
Sports Center
? From one of his linebackers?

“After they saw your picture plastered everywhere,” she went on, “they noted how photogenic you are and called me. Absolutely out of the question, of course, but they came up with an idea for an ad campaign.”

She flipped the iPad around for him to see. It was a divided screen. On one side there was a computer-generated figure of a man leaning against a goal post. On the other side there was another computer-generated figure — a woman this time — all stretched out on some sort of odd looking couch. Above the man read,
One Angel.
Then above the woman,
One Glitter Star
. Underneath it all were some fancy looking bottles and the words,
Two Heavenly Fragrances
.

It took a few seconds for it to hit him. The man was supposed to be him, the woman, Arianna. This was some kind of a mockup situation, where they meant to have photographs — his and Arianna’s.

He began to feel a little sick.

“Of course, I told them you would never do such a thing, and I am far too old and decrepit.”

“Not so old,” he said. “Certainly not decrepit. You’re still very beautiful. You know that.” And all that was true.

She preened. “Oh, my day is over. But I am very proud that you caught Celestial’s eye. They are only interested the best of the best. And you are stunning, darling.”

He wanted to tell her not to call him darling, but what if she really meant it?

“You were the best of the best, weren’t you?” he said.

“That was a long time ago.” She gestured to the iPad again. “As you can see, they are targeting a different demographic.”

“No. I wouldn’t know anything about that. I don’t know who they usually target.”

“Never mind. It doesn’t matter. I told them it was out of the question. But you know how those kinds of people are. They still want to talk to us, meet you. We could go to New York, just on a lark. They would treat us well. I know that for sure.”

Yes. Celestial Silk had been treating her well, when he’d been five months old and his nineteen-year-old father had been managing, God knows how. And unless he missed his guess, she wanted them to treat her well again — and she wasn’t going to get it without him.

A small part of him cried out that he was wrong — that she had come here for him. He shouldn’t care but he had to know for sure.

“What if I
was
interested in something like that?” he asked.