Sea of Dreams (The American Heroes Series Book 2) (17 page)

He opened his mouth to speak but Charlotte pushed a piece of asparagus in it.  He laughed softly and thanked her before refocusing on Blakesley.

“Not often enough,” he said quietly. “Her mom took her to San Francisco when we divorced, so I don’t see her often at all.  We email back and forth all of the time, but it’s just not the same.”

Blakesley shook her head sympathetically. “You said she’s fourteen?” she cocked her head. “Is she in high school yet?”

He nodded, shoveling rice into his mouth. “She’s a Freshman,” he told her. “She’s a member of the French Club, a math genius, and has a boyfriend, which I’m not too happy about.”

Blakesley fought off a grin. “She’s got to grow up sometime, Dad.”

He was focused back on his food, which Charlotte was trying to commandeer as her own. “I haven’t seen her much in the past four years,” he said, somewhat glumly. “I guess I still see her as that ten year old who cried herself sick when her mom and I divorced.   It’s hard to see her as a young lady.”

Blakesley stroked his arm comfortingly, removing Charlotte’s spoon from his rice in the same movement.

“Are you planning on seeing her this summer?” she asked. “Maybe you can fly her down here and take her to Sea World. You’ve been wanting to go.”

He shrugged.  “My schedule is so dicey that it’s difficult,” he said. “I could fly her down tomorrow but if I’m suddenly called away, I can’t just leave her on her own.   My best chance of seeing her is if I take a couple of days and just go up to San Francisco.”

Blakesley was stroking his arm. “You can bring her down here to visit and if something happens and you get called away, I’ll watch out for her and make sure she gets on a plane home.”

He looked at her, surprised. “You would?”

She smiled. “Of course.”

He was seriously considering it.  “That’s a really generous offer,” he said. “Are you sure you wouldn’t mind?”

She shook her head. “Of course not,” she insisted softly. “You can just introduce me as a friend of the family. I’d be happy to look out for her if you can’t.”

He just stared at her.  Then, he lifted Charlotte and Crosby off his knees in succession, setting the girls down in front of their plates.  He stood up as they started to whine and looked at Blakesley.

“I need to talk to you outside,” he said in a low voice. “Right now.”

Curious, not to mention slightly concerned at his tone, Blakesley left the girls with Nikki and followed him out into the hall.  It was still and quiet in the corridor as he faced her.

“Look,” he held out his hand as if grasping at his thoughts. “I’m going to say this here and now since you brought it up.  I don’t want you to be a friend of the family.”

Blakesley’s brow furrowed; the way he said it and the tone in which he said it had her totally misunderstanding him.

“Sorry,” she said defensively. “I’m not sure what you thought I meant, but I wasn’t trying to… oh, forget I even said anything. I’m sorry I did. I was just offering to help you see your daughter.”

He realized she had misinterpreted him and he grasped her by the wrist. “Blakesley, baby, that’s not what I meant at all,” he could see he had offended her and he was trying to pull her to him as she struggled to pull away.  “I just meant that you’re more than a friend. I don’t want you to be just a friend.  I want you to be much more than that.”

She stopped struggling although her expression was still guarded. “What do you mean?”

He lifted her hand and kissed her fingers; they tasted like asparagus. “Baby, I love you,” he murmured.  “You know I love you.  I don’t want to be with another woman as long as I live. I only want to be with you.”

She was cooling down, coming to understand what he meant. “Okay,” she replied slowly, although still unsure what he was driving at. “I love you, too.  That’s why I was offering to help you see your child.”

His jaw ticked and he took her other hand, pulling her against his big torso. It was clear that there was much on his mind.

“I guess I should make myself clear,” he said softly, looking her in the eye.  “When people ask me if I’m seeing someone, I want to tell them that I am.  If they ask me if I have a girlfriend, I want to say that I do. I guess I’m asking your permission to say that.”

A smile spread across her lips.  “You have it.”

He grinned in response, genuinely happy and relieved. “Thank you,” he said sincerely. “I don’t want to see anyone else, not ever.”

“Good.”

“I don’t want you to see anyone else, either. We’re together, just you and me. Is that clear enough?”

She laughed softly. “You had that commitment when you asked if I would be your girlfriend,” she said. “No worries, Beck.  I don’t want to see anyone else, either. I just want to see you.”

His grin grew and he kissed her, wrapping her up in his big arms. He hugged her tightly, feeling happier than he had in years. He felt like he was walking on clouds.

“I was thinking something else,” he said. “Your house isn’t going to be ready for weeks, even months, especially now that we’ve discovered that tunnel.  I’m not comfortable with you and the girls living there.  That house is so old and God only knows what else is running underneath that house. I want to make sure it’s completely safe and repaired before you and the girls move in.”

He was being very cautious, very protective, and she appreciated that but she wasn’t sure where he was going with it.

“Okay,” she said as if she was waiting for him to say more. “So what do you want me to do?”

He was holding her tightly against him, gazing down into her big bluish-green eyes. “I was thinking that I could rent a bigger house for all of us,” he said quietly, almost hesitantly. “Someplace that was safe for the girls and some place where I could come home to you… you know, a place for all of us to live. Together.  We could live there together and I can watch over all of you, at least until your house is finished.”

He was starting to ramble, as if fearful of the words even as they came out of his mouth. She was very touched by his suggestion but she was also very torn.

“That’s so sweet of you to think if us,” she said sincerely. “But don’t you think it’s a little soon for us to be talking about moving in together?”

He sighed faintly.  “Yes,” he agreed, “but the truth is that I can’t stand the thought of being away from you, or going home tonight and sleeping alone. I… I’m just so happy, Blakesley. I’ve never felt like this in my life. I want to come home every night to those little girls who cling to me and want to know if sharks can smile or why I wear a watch with a whole bunch of different numbers on it.  I deal with so much death and sorrow, and you and your girls make me see the beauty in life.   It’s the greatest thing I’ve ever experienced.”

She was watching him with tears in her eyes by the time he was finished.   “That’s so sweet,” she murmured, blinking away the tears. “But… I really need to think about things, Beck. I have my children to think of and I need to make their lives as stable as possible right now. You have no idea what they’ve been through.  If it was just me, there would be no question, but I have my girls to think about.  I hope you can understand that.”

He nodded, although it was clear that he wasn’t happy.  “I wouldn’t do anything to disrupt or hurt them, I hope you know that,” he said softly. “I…  I guess I fell in love with them, too, the first time Crosby coerced ice cream from me, the moment I pulled Cadee out of the water, and the moment Charlotte asked me if I’d play Barbies with her.  I fell in love with all of you, Blakesley.  I’ve spent so much time training myself not to feel emotion that when I do feel it, it overwhelms me.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning her forehead against his chin.  He kissed her forehead, her temple.

“I do understand,” she whispered. “Believe me, I do.  The girls and I have spent years dealing with murder trials and conflict like you can’t even imagine. Charlotte has never really known her father; she was only a year old when he was arrested. She really doesn’t remember him, and when I see how she’s bonding with you, it touches me more than you know and I feel like there’s hope for all of us.  Please… just give me time to think about all of this. It’s all happening so fast and I just don’t want to make a bad decision.”

“I understand.  I’m not happy about it, but I understand.”

She smiled up at him, kissing him sweetly a couple of times but pulling away before things got heated.  They grinned at each other in the dark hall as she put her hand on the door.  Things were moving fast and hotly, and they were both struggling to keep a clear mind about it.   Still, neither one of them could deny the joy of the situation as two lonely people found love again.

Beck followed her back into the suite where Charlotte and Crosby had finished everything on his plate.  Beck went to his empty plate, gave the girls an exaggeratedly shocked look , and pretended to cry.  That brought on loud laughter from the little girls who proceeded to jump back onto his lap when he sat down again.  Grinning, Blakesley went back into the kitchen and put more food on his plate, pulling the girls off of him so the man could eat in peace.

Tired from a day at the zoo, Charlotte and Crosby turned in to cranky monsters as their mother pulled them into one of the bedrooms and then emerged a few moments later with blankets and teddy bears.  Then she sat on the couch with both girls in her arms, all wrapped up in their blankets and toys, and began to hum to them. 

Beck watched her as he ate, her sweet manner with the children, the gentle rocking motion and soft singing. It was so sweet to watch. Although Cadee was too old for that kind of comfort, she climbed on the couch and sat next to her mother as a brightly colored cartoon danced across the television screen.   Beck finished his dinner watching Blakesley and the girls settled down for the night.

Nikki cleared up the table and washed the dishes.  Beck offered to help her but she was so shy and terrified of him, he ended up giving her a wide berth because she was so skittish. He went to sit on the couch on the other side of Cadee, sitting back and watching the animated cartoon also.  

Cadee, the most reserved out of the three girls, gave him a wide-open curious look now that her sisters weren’t jumping on him and demanding his attention.  Her big bluish-green eyes drifted over him, inspecting his shirt, his pants, his boots.  She took the time to digest everything about him because she was very deliberate like that.

“Why are you in the Navy?” she finally asked.

He looked down his right shoulder at her. “Because I wanted to serve my country and help people.”

She thought on that a moment. “Have you saved other girls from the water like me?”

He smiled. “No, not like you,” he told her. “You’re special.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “Because you’re just about the prettiest little girl I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t let anything happen to you.”

Cadee pondered his statement. She seemed much more introspective and somber than her two younger sisters. “Do you go away a lot when you’re in the Navy?” she asked.

He nodded, shifting so he was more turned towards her. “I do,” he said. “I go all over the world and help people.”

“But you come back.”

“I always come back.”

Cadee’s expression grew serious. “My dad went away but he ‘s not coming back,” she said frankly. “I don’t want you to be our friend if you’re going away and not coming back.”

On Cadee’s other side, Blakesley frowned and opened her mouth to scold her daughter but Beck silently waved her off. This was between him and Cadee. He could tell that, from the beginning of their association, she had been stand-offish of him. Even though he had essentially saved her life, she wasn’t going to make it easy for him like her sisters had. Now her feelings were starting to come out. He made sure he was looking her in the eye when he spoke.

“I understand that your dad went away,” he said quietly. “But he went away for different reasons.  I go away for my work but I always come home again.”

Cadee didn’t back away from him; she continued to stare up at him, studying him. “My dad said he’d be back, too, but he won’t,” she said. “He went to prison because he did something very bad. He made my mom cry. She cried all the time, like when the people came to take the house and when the police came a lot.  I told my dad not to come back because he just made my mom cry. You better not make her cry, either.”

It was a fairly bold threat from a nine year old but Beck took it seriously.  “I swear I would never intentionally do that, baby girl,” he said sincerely. “Your mom is very special to me just like she’s special to you.  I would never hurt her and I would never make her cry, I swear.  I think you’re a pretty special girl to be so concerned for your mom like that.”

Cadee thought about what he said, turning to look at her mother and seeing that there were tears on her face.  Blakesley had both arms wrapped around her other daughters and couldn’t spare a hand to wipe them away.  Cadee was very deep and very protective of her mother, a big burden for a nine year old girl. It was hard for Blakesley to hear Cadee express her fears to Beck.

“Well…,” Cadee’s gaze lingered on her mother before she turned back to Beck. “As long as you don’t make her cry, I guess it’s okay if you’re our friend.”

Beck smiled faintly. “Thanks,” he said sincerely.  “I’d really like to hang around with you girls.  I miss my own daughter so it helps me not be so sad all the time.”

“What’s your daughter’s name?”

“Elizabeth,” he told her. “Elizabeth Beatrice Seavington, but we call her Lizzie.”

“I heard you say that she lives in San Francisco.”

He nodded. “She does.”

“And she has a boyfriend?”

Beck made a very comical, very unhappy face. “Yes,” he muttered.

“Does her mom have a boy friend?”

Beck was a little take back at the blunt question. “She has a husband. She married him last year.”

Cadee turned to look at her mother. “Are you going to marry my mom, too?”

Beck took a deep breath and grinned nervously. “I just met her,” he said. “It’s a little early to ask that question, I think.”