SEALed With a Kiss: Even a Hero Needs Help Sometimes... (49 page)

His arms tightened around her, crushing her to him. Suddenly he was planting hot, frantic kisses on her hair, her eyes, her neck. One large hand cupped her bottom to lift her against him. His erection bulged through the damp denim of his jeans.

"Pickett." His voice was strained, winded. "I've got to have you. I've got to have you right now." He pressed wild, rough kisses to the top of her head. "I
know
I'm doing this all wrong. I should be sensitive, but I can't. If you don't go with me to the bedroom, I'm going to have you right here on the table. Say yes."

With one hand he unsnapped her jeans and plunged his hands inside.

Her body answered before she did. A tightening spiral lunged from her chest to her core, igniting nerve endings all the way. The delicate tissues he stroked swelled and grew moist in his fingers.

Suddenly her need was as imperative as his. This was not seduction or even hot desire, but something far more primal. His need called forth her own desire to comfort, to reassure, and to affirm. A tiny voice warned her that she was getting ready to give away her whole self to this man, but still she didn't hesitate. She was a woman whose mate called to her and everything within her answered him.

He pushed her jeans and panties down together, at the same time dropping nibbling kisses on her ears, her neck, in the sensitive hollows near her clavicle.

"Tyler." Pickett squeezed the name out between her own hungry searches of his neck, his night-roughened jaw.

"What about Tyler?"

"He could come in here. We've got to go to the bedroom."

"Is that a yes?" With fluid strength Jax picked her up, swung her through the hall door. "I'm going to take that as a yes."

The sensation of being swept up in his powerful arms, clothed yet bare-bottomed shocked Pickett. It was wild and uncivilized. And she liked it.

She tightened her arms to pull her face level with his and opened her mouth on his, tasting his male urgency, aggressively demanding he come to her as she was coming to him.

Jax's tongue met hers with his own fierce demands as they engaged in a love duel. At the bedroom door he elbowed the light switch. Never taking his mouth from hers, he stood Pickett next to the bed and pushed her onto its old-fashioned high mattress. Two flicks of those capable hands divested her of her shoes and one efficient tug removed the jeans.

With her bottom just at the edge of the mattress, Pickett scrambled up on her elbows to scoot further back but Jax stopped her by grabbing her knees and pushing them apart, opening her to his gaze.

Jax liked to look. After her first shyness, Pickett had learned to enjoy offering him tantalizing glimpses, extending their love play by getting maximum use of the sexy underwear he'd bought. Waves of excitement would pass between them as they relished turning one another on.

What he wanted now was not play.

She was open, totally ready to receive him, and he was going to make love to her until she knew, now and forever, that she was his. He was going to move within her until she couldn't hesitate as she had hesitated on the pier. Until that awful moment when he couldn't reach her, when he could only pray she had the courage to come to him, was dissolved. He opened his jeans and spread her soft folds with one hand, while he positioned himself with the other.

Sliding into her tight fit was better, hotter, wetter than ever before. It was so good.
Too good.

He froze.

"What the hell am I doing?" He pulled out, closing his eyes at the exquisite sensation, even as he denied himself. Unwilling to lose contact, body to body, he covered her, elbows locked to spare her his weight, their bellies touching.

"What's the matter?" Pickett's eyes were wide, blurred with passion and confusion. Where their bodies pressed together he could feel her heart thump in slow heavy beats.

"The condom. I could get you pregnant."

"God help me," she whispered, "I didn't think of it either." But still, she lifted her arms to pull him closer.

Jax slowly lowered his torso, allowing her to take his weight. Long shudders ran through him as he waged a war between his need and his self-control. He rubbed his face into the valley between her breasts, then slid both hands underneath the damp sweater that in their haste had never been removed, touching, clinging to the soft mounds.

"I want to have a child with you, Pickett." His voice was ragged and shaking. "Maybe a bunch a kids. But not until we've got things settled between us. Kids need parents who are married and stay together. I mean it. I know being married to a SEAL is not a good deal for a woman. I love being a SEAL but it's not my whole life anymore. If you can't hack my staying in the Navy, there are other things I can do."

Pickett soothed her hands down the dense muscles of his back until she felt his breath—and her own—begin to slow. She smiled a wise, womanly smile. It wasn't how she'd pictured bringing it up, but with Jax things never turned out the way she thought they would—yet they always turned out okay. Now was the time.

"You know when you asked me to marry you?" She fingered the velvety hair at the base of his skull. "I've been thinking about that."

Jax stilled. Devoid of all expression, he asked, "Are you going to change your mind?"

Pickett wasn't fooled by the poker face, not anymore. "Maybe..." She was teasing him, a little, but he deserved it. "I need to know something first. Do you love me?"

Jax rose up, stiff-armed, over her. His black brows snapped together. "Good God A'mighty! Of course I love you! I told you I did."

Pickett blinked at his fierceness. "You did
not"

Jax stood so abruptly Pickett had to scramble not to slide off the bed. As soon as he stood, his unfastened jeans began to slide down his legs.

"What the hell do you think has been going on?" He toed off one running shoe. His foot came free with a wet sucking noise. "I asked you to
marry
me!" He toed off the other shoe. "I want to live with you for the rest of my life!" He pushed down the jeans and underwear together but the damp denim clung to his legs, hobbling him. "I want you to be the mother of my kids," he grabbed a bedpost for balance, "Tyler, and all the kids we haven't had yet." He managed at last to kick his legs free. Naked from the waist down, he glared at her, then as an afterthought whipped his T-shirt off over his head.

Pickett felt her eyebrows climb toward her hairline. "That was saying T love you'?"

"
I don't know!"
Jax grabbed his skull with both hands, then eyed her suspiciously. "Is this one of those talks about love that women relish so much? Because I'm not sure I can do that right now. It's been a long, hard day. Either you get it that I love you or you don't."

He paced—
stalked
—around the room for a minute, then turned around, gray eyes bright with cunning. "Wait a minute. If I say T love you' will you marry me?"

Pickett took her time lining up the edge of the duvet she'd pulled across her lap. "Maybe." She permitted herself a mysterious smile. "Why not try it and find out?"

Jax grabbed her shoulders so swiftly her head snapped back. "I love you, love you, love you, love you.
Now will
you marry me?"

"Yes. I love you too."

"Yes to what?"

"I will marry you, SEAL that you are."

"You
will
marry me?" Jax gave a shout of laughter then instantly sobered. He sat beside Pickett on the bed, his face so close she could see the crystal flakes in his irises. "What about my being a SEAL? I've made up my mind, if I have to leave the Navy for us to be happy together I will, but you understand officers don't serve hitches. It could take a year or more for my resignation to be accepted. You'll be married to a military man for a while."

Pickett lifted her hand to his face, absorbing the soft prickles of beard. "I don't want you to leave the SEALs. Not for my sake. What makes you a SEAL is something innate in who you are, and I love who you are. I love you the
way you
are."

Jax nuzzled her hand, but his eyes remained troubled. "What about Navy life? I can't deny that there are hardships. I'll work to minimize the stress on our marriage as much as I can, but there'll be some things I can't change."

"I know." Pickett infused her voice with hushed comfort. She took his face in both hands, willing him to read the certainty in her eyes. "Before, when I told you no, you said I was a coward. And I was. I couldn't give a marriage less than everything I've got, so I wanted everything to be ideal before I took a chance. It broke my heart to turn you down, but I doubted I could succeed, and I couldn't face the possibility of failure.

"I was scared to jump from the pier tonight, too. So scared." Tears clogged her throat as the memory swamped her. She forced them back. "But as long as I focused on the fact that I was going to you, I could do it. Don't you see? I didn't think about jumping into the water. I thought about going to
you
in the water. It made all the difference." She took a deep breath and continued. "When I jumped off that pier tonight I suddenly knew I could go through anything, as long as I was going through it to be with you."

She touched his lips with hers in a kiss of promise that quickly turned to passion.

"Now," she whispered between nibbles and soft bites, "are you going to get those condoms, or am I?"

Jax liked lying in the dark beside Pickett, arms and legs heavy with satiation, waiting while sweet swells of contentment floated him closer to sleep.

Pickett smacked him across the rib cage.

"Hey! That stung!" He rubbed his ribs. "What was that for?"

"Take back the crack about Mary Poppins."

Jax opened one eye. Pickett was lying on her back, arms crossed under her breasts, looking at the dark ceiling. It took a moment to remember what she was referring to. "I already apologized."

"You apologized for the bad language. But I didn't mind—you were only swearing because you were upset. The Mary Poppins crack was
personal.
"

"I admire Mary Poppins."

"Yeah,
right
Why, I'll bet she's even one of your heroes."

Jax pretended to think it over. "I wouldn't say hero. More of a fantasy." Okay, he was teasing her now. So sue him. Pickett, when she got all righteous, was irresistible.

Pickett made a rude sound. "Give me a break."

"Seriously. Corey and I used to fantasize about what it would be like to—you know—do her."

"Ee-yew"
Pickett waved her hand in front of her nose. "I did
not
want to know that." She was silent for a minute, and Jax could almost hear questions begin to tumble around in her mind. She was so cute when her curiosity got the better of her.

She propped herself on an elbow to look into his face. "How
could
you?"

Jax moved a shoulder. "What can I say? Teenage boys think about sex pretty much all the time. You go through a lot of fantasy material." Pickett continued to look at him dubiously. "What's the matter? I'm telling you you're a fantasy come true for me."

"Hmm."

"That means you're thinking. Am I forgiven for calling you a Mary Poppins?"

"Are you sorry?"

"No." Jax caught her hand before she smacked him again. He scooped her propping elbow from under her, rendering her flat on her back again. He loomed over her.

"Listen carefully because this might be the only speech I'm ever going to make on this subject. I love you. I hate that you can't swim, and that
is
going to change, but I love you anyway." Pickett started to interrupt. "Uh-uh. I'm talking. You're listening. You do remind me of Mary Poppins. You wade into messed-up lives and straighten them out, just like she does. Like her, you're magic. Everything's brighter, richer, funnier, every dream is more possible when you're there.

"In some ways you're not like her though." Jax allowed himself a teasing smile. "Mary Poppins, after all, was 'practically perfect in every way.'"

Pickett harrumphed.

"On the other hand, you turn me on way more than she ever did." Pickett made a grumbling sound and he relented. "Sweetheart, you're real. I love you so much. I'll do anything I can to make our marriage work, but I can't promise happily ever after, and more than most, you know what you're getting into. You have the guts to make hard choices. And no matter how scared you are, you always choose love. Mary Poppins isn't a hero to me. But you are."