Searching for Neverland (3 page)

“Yeah, Kimmy,” he confirmed.

“And who is Kimmy?”

He swallowed hard. “Um, my girlfriend. I thought I told you about her,” he said quickly, and I took note that the word ‘girlfriend’ didn’t roll off his tongue so easily.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Girlfriend?”

Josh didn’t have girlfriends – at least since I’d been living with him. I’d never even heard him use that word.

He cleared his throat, and all of a sudden it was like he was visibly uncomfortable with the conversation.

“Yeah, um, I’ve been seeing her for a few weeks, and she wanted to be exclusive, so
I
sort of agreed. I thought I told you about her.”

I shook my head.  “No, you definitely did not.”

“Oh, sorry.”

I looked at him in confusion. “Josh, do you even want a girlfriend?”

It was the first time I’d heard him label someone he was dating. He usually saw a girl for a few weeks before he moved on, but he would always keep things really casual and never, ever labeled the relationship. Hell, most of the time he was seeing a few women at once.

“I’m thirty-one,” was his response.

“Yeah, so.”

“Well, I figure I should probably stop screwing around and be serious. I do want to get married or at least have someone who’s a permanent fixture in my life. And that’s not going to happen if I don’t attempt to be monogamous.”

“And Kimmy’s the one you think you’re going to end up with?”

I couldn’t see it, and I hadn’t even met the girl yet. Just her name alone made me squirm. Kimmy. What was she, twelve? But even beyond that, Josh looked too uncomfortable to be serious about this girl. It was like just talking about the fact that he had a girlfriend was wigging him out.

Josh shrugged. “I don’t know,” he mumbled, and I knew I should stop hounding him, but I just couldn’t. This was too bizarre.

“Okay,” I said brightly, changing tactics. “Tell me about her. What do you like about her?”

“Well, she’s a lawyer. I met her at the gym. She’s cute and funny and nice.”

Yeah, that gave me so much to go off of.  I knew immediately that she wasn’t the one for him. Maybe because I knew Josh so well, or maybe it was his tone, but either way, I knew Kimmy wouldn’t be around long.

“And, she goes by Kimmy?” I asked skeptically.

I couldn’t imagine taking a lawyer named Kimmy seriously. 

“To her friends. At work she goes by Kimberly.”

I smirked, and he shoved me in the shoulder, relaxing for the first time since he’d revealed this monumental news.

“Sorry,” I said, as I righted myself. “I won’t be mean about Kimmy anymore. Are you going out with her and DJ later?”

I laughed at my own joke, as visions of Kimmy Gibbler from
Full House
danced in my head.

“Ha, ha,” Josh said, as he
reached for the beer I was holding
. “You’re hilarious. It’s no wonder you’re still single.”

I smacked him on the chest with the back of my hand
and took the beer back from him, taking a long pull
. “Jerk.
That was a low blow.”

“Aww, did I hurt your feelings?” he asked with mock comfort in his voice as he put his arm around me and pulled me closer to him.

“Whatever.” I jerked away from hi
m. “Your
side comments mean nothing to me. I will one day find the most amazing man, and I will fall in love with him – faults and all – and it will all be perfect.”

What the hell was I talking about, and why w
as
I waxing philosophical? My dating exhaustion mixed with my beer buzz was making me stupid. It
was definitely a sign that I needed to go to bed.

“Good luck to you,” Josh said. “You just summed up what we’re all looking for.” 

He grabbed the beer
we were sharing and raised it to me.

“I thought you were happy being a bachelor,” I countered.

I’d honestly always thought Josh had been content casually dating the girls in their early twenties that he usually went for because he knew there was no threat of them wanting to settle down. I figured he’d be single until he was at least forty.

“Hey, I’m looking for the right person as much as the next guy, but unfortunately, that person is hard to come by.”

“Maybe you sho
uld stop dating twenty-two year-
olds,” I suggested.

He made a face. “I d
o not just date twenty-two year-
olds,” he defended.

I raised my eyebrows. “Fine, maybe you should date girls your own age then.”

He made another face, and I knew what he was thinking – they were all clock-watchers.

“Well how old is Kimmy?”

“Twenty-six,” he said confidently.

“And she’s not ‘the one’?”

He leaned back against the wall and appraised me. “Don’t know. I just met her, so we’ll see.”

She wasn’t. I could already tell. And I hoped Josh would realize it soon. I wasn’t sure why he was forcing himself into a relationship when it was clear he was doing it for the wrong reasons.

I sighed. “Okay, bedtime.”

Josh grinned. “I’ll be up in a minute. Take off your clothes and wait for me.”

I fake gagged at that suggestion. “Dream on, and please remember that you have a girlfriend now, so sexual innuendos made toward your female roommate probably won’t be welcomed gestures.”

Josh blew me a suggestive kiss, and then his expression changed.

“Do I want a girlfriend?” he asked when I was halfway across the room.

I turned around to face him. “Sweetie, that’s something I can’t answer for you, but have fun pondering that inevitable question you’ve no doubt been asking yourself for the past ten years.” I blew him a kiss in return. “Goodnight.”

“Night, Tay,” he said, and I could definitely see the wheels turning inside his head. Then when I was halfway up the stairs he finally answered his own question. “Yeah, I do. I want a girlfriend.”

“Great! Can’t wait to meet her,” I called back, being the supportive friend I knew he needed me to be in that moment even though I was less than thrilled about meeting Kimmy.

Chapter
2

“Urgh,” I mumbled into my pillow. 

I squeezed my eyes tight in an effort to wish away the person who had suddenly perched themselves on the end of my bed. I wanted to go back to my dream where a really hot guy was giving me a full body massage.

“Get up! Get up!” Allison said, in way too cheerful a tone for – I snuck a one-eyed
glance at the alarm clock – nine
a.m. on a Saturday. Grr. I wanted to go back to sleep.

“Go away,” I growled.

I felt my best friend bounce a little on my bed, making me rock like I was sleeping on a water bed. I did not like that feeling, especially with the way my head felt.

“No way. I have to show you something,” she sing-songed, and I finally realized why she had found it necessary to wake me up at such an ungodly hour.

My eyes flew open. Allison continued to bounce lightly on the end of my bed. I sat up straight and looked right into her
sparkling
brown eyes. She had the goofiest grin on her face. It was like she couldn’t stop smiling.

“Let me see,” I said, suddenly awake, as I reached for her hand.

She thrust her left hand forward, and I grabbed it. And there it was, looking all sparkly and perfect, the one thing all single girls dream about. I couldn’t believe how beautiful her ring was close up. It w
as
simple, just a brilliant cut solitaire in a platinum setting, but damn if Corey hadn’t picked out the perfect ring for her.

I suddenly really, really wanted one of my own.

“Oh, my God,” I breathed. “It’s so gorgeous.” 

I looked up at Allison as I said that, and I could tell that she was just bursting to tell me the story of Corey’s proposal. Knowing him, it would be a good one. He was nothing if not romantic.

I settled back against my pillows as she started to tell her engagement story, her eyes lighting up as she recounted a story she’d surely tell again and again. I felt privileged to be the first person to hear it.

“So we changed for bed,” she continued, having just told me about all the times throughout the night that she thought he might ask and he didn’t. She said it got
to
the point where she’d resigned herself that she just wasn’t going to get engaged that night. And she’d been talking for close to five minutes

“Sweetie, I love you, but get to the good stuff,” I encouraged her.

She grinned. “Okay, so I went into the bathroom to wash my face, brush my teeth, etcetera. When I came out, I saw that he’d lit like forty candles all over his bedroom, turned the lights off, and was kneeling in the center of the room.” She giggled in a nervous, excited kind of way.

My hand went over my mouth. I literally thought I might cry. 

“So, he was kneeling,” I prompted. I needed to hear the rest.

“Yeah, he was,” she said, sounding goofily happy. “Now, mind you I have no make-up on, and I’m wearing my pajamas, and this is the point at which my boyfriend chooses to ask me to marry him.”

I smiled. I thought it sounded really sweet. 

“What did he say?” I asked eagerly.

She grinned widely. “Well, when I saw him, my jaw literally fell to the floor. He started talking as soon as I walked into the room. He was all nervous and speaking really fast, but he basically said that he loved me more than anyone and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, and then he asked me to marry him.”

“Oh, my God,” I gushed. It was your standard proposal, but when those words that had been said millions of times were said to your best friend, they took on a whole new sense of importance. “What did you say?”

“I said yes. I had to walk over to him, since we were like ten feet apart. I sort of said yes and ran to him at the same time, and then he stood up and put the ring on my finger.”

“Aww, I love how he did it.”

We’d never really assumed he would propose at home. Corey was into bigger gestures, so he’d surprised us with that one.

“I do, too. It’s more special that it was just us there. I actually questioned why he waited until I was in my pajamas, and do you know what he said?”

I shook my head. 

“He said that he loves me the most when I’m just me – no make-up, no dressy clothes – but just me. Isn’t that the sweetest thing you’ve ever heard?”

“Aww!  Too cute,” I gushed, my hand over my heart. “Corey is so sweet!”

I so wanted a boy to say things like that to me.

“Isn’t he though?”

He really was. I’d always liked Corey. He was perfect for her.

“Okay, so bigger issue,” she said, suddenly looking serious.

“What?” I asked, giving her a confused look.

“Will you be my maid of honor?” she asked solemnly.

“Hell yes!” I screamed and threw my arms around her. 

She hugged me back. “Oh, thanks Tay! I’m so excited. And don’t worry. I will totally let you have full veto power over the bridesmaids’ dresses.”

I pulled back to look at my newly engaged best friend. Her light brown eyes were shining in excitement that I knew she couldn’t hide if she tried.

“I love you for that,” I said, and she giggled.

“What the hell is all this noise?” came a groggy voice from across the room.

We both looked up to see Josh standing in my doorway. Actually, he was leaning against the
door frame
and looking like he’d been through hell and back. His hair was falling messily over his forehead, and he had
a
line across his cheek that told me he’d slept hard the night before. He was only wearing boxers which would have freaked me out if I hadn’t seen him walk around in the same thing every morning for three years. It didn’t faze me in the slightest, just as it probably didn’t faze him that I was sitting on my bed in my underwear and a tank top, which was what I always slept in. Although my eyes couldn’t help but stop on his tanned, toned stomach. I was human after all, and Josh had one nice body.

“Hey you!” Allison shouted as she got up from the bed and ran to where Josh was standing, her long dark hair flying out behind her.

I caught a glimpse of what looked like visible pain on his face as her voice reached an octave that was much higher than usual. She stuck her left hand out to show him her engagement ring. She was bouncing on her toes in front of him as he took in her ring.

“Congratulations, little sis,” Josh said, as he reached out to hug her.

He glanced at me over her shoulder to most likely gauge how I was holding up. I smiled to show him that I was fine. His return smile told me that he was glad, but
it
also let me know that my little meltdown the night before after I’d heard Allison was engaged was not going to be mentioned again.