Searching for Neverland (40 page)

“Are you sure it’s just going to be a week?” I mumbled into his shirt. “You said it might be up to six weeks.”

I felt over-the-top guilty for wanting the kids to be back with their mom, but Caleb had pushed me over the edge, and everything little that I hadn’t let get to me over the three weeks they’d been with us was
weighing so heavily on me
. I couldn’t help it. I was not cut out to be a mom. I sucked at it.

“I talked to Carlie today,” he shared. “She’s still doing really well, and the doctors are going to release her next Sunday, just like they originally planned.”

“Okay.” I hated that I was relieved to hear that, so I pulled back to look at Josh, wondering if he could read the relief I felt. “The kids will be really excited.”

“They will, and it’s okay if you are too.” He kissed my forehead. “Tay, I know it’s been hard, but thank you for doing this with me. I’m honestly not sure if diving in headfirst into pseudo-parenting was the greatest idea, but having you here made it so much better than if I’d been on my own.”

“You’re welcome.”

“And the bar is going to be amazing,” he continued. “I know it’s been a lot of work, but because of you and your ideas, it’s going to be better than I ever imagined.”

“Thank you,” I said gratefully.

He smiled at me and kissed my forehead. “Now what happened with Caleb?”

“Ugh. He hates me,” I told him before launching
into the recap of our argument.

Chapter 24

Caleb and I got over our disagreement pretty quickly. Josh went upstairs to talk to him, and whatever he said worked, because ten minutes later, Caleb came down and apologized to me. He even told me I could call him Cale if I wanted, and we moved forward relatively unscathed.

Monday was the start of school, and although I knew Carlie wanted to be there, she wouldn’t be home until Sunday. So Josh and I drove the kids to school on their first day, made sure they got to their classrooms and met their teachers. I was grateful they were attending the sa
me school where Allison taught
, so at least someone would be looking out for them. She’d come over a few times to play with them, and they’d taken to her instantly.

Of course I shouldn’t have worried. Caleb, being the mature fifth grader he was, barely let me hug him before he walked into his classroom with his shoulders back, the confidence apparent in his demeanor. And by the time I left Savannah in the kindergarten room, she’d already started playing in the fake kitchen with a little girl with blond hair.

I smiled and waved at her as I walked out, and she called out, “Bye Taylor. Love you.” And it nearly melted my heart.

I would miss them. As much as I was looking forward to regaining my freedom and my relationship and my social life, I would miss seeing them and hanging out with them. But I knew Josh and I would see them frequently. They were living just down the street, and one of us would be watching them whenever Carlie was waitressing at O’Donnell’s. We’d get our fill of them for sure.

Josh and I spent most of the week decorating their new apartment and getting it ready for Carlie to move in with them. We had it all planned out that Josh would pick her up on Sunday and take her to the apartment, and then I would bring the kids to meet them. We told Caleb the
plan, but we wanted to let Savannah be surprised, so we told him he had to keep the news that she was coming home a secret.

On Thursday, I made plans to have lunch with Allison since she wanted to talk wedding ideas. She and Corey were getting married in April, so we had to start planning soon. She’d be at the party we were throwing Saturday night at the bar, but I knew I’d be busy and it would be loud, so I wasn’t sure we’d get a chance to talk.
Lunch seemed like the best idea.

I timed it so I’d be able to do a little shopping before going to get Caleb and Savannah since I wanted to buy a new outfit for the party. Caleb had seemed in good spirits that morning, and I knew he was excited to see his mom in a few days. I truly believed he thought she wasn’t coming back, and to know that he would see her soon gave him hope that everything would be alright.

After school
I pulled up in front of the school like I’d done for the past three days and waited for the kids to come running outside. Caleb always held Savannah’s hand, because she would likely run in front of a car if he didn’t. She had trouble realizing danger was nearby, so I was glad he looked out for her.

When I didn’t see them after ten minutes, I started to get worried. And after twenty minutes, I picked up my phone to call Josh. When I touched the screen, I saw I had ten missed calls from him, and somehow my phone had switched over to silent, so I hadn’t even heard it ring. Panic flooded me. I just knew something was wrong.

“Taylor!” Josh shouted, as soon as he answered the phone. “Do you have the kids?”

“No,” I answered, wondering why he sounded so panicked, and how he knew the kids weren’t with me. My heart started pounding and blood rushed through my ears. Something was wrong, and we both knew it. “Josh, what’s wrong? What happened? Where are they?”

I was losing it, as all around me parents drove off with their kids. I looked frantically around for Caleb and Savannah, wondering if maybe I’d missed them.

“Carlie’s not at the rehab facility,” came Josh’s distressed voice.

“What?!”

“The doctor said she checked herself out this morning and took a cab. I have no idea where she is.”

“Do you think she has them?”

I had no idea why I was panicking about Carlie picking up her kids, but something about the situation didn’t sit right with me, and I was suddenly so concerned that they were in danger.

“I don’t know. Probably. Check with the front office. I’m going to call Caleb’s cell.”

“Okay, call me back if you get ahold of him.”

Josh ended
the call before saying goodbye
as I flew out of my car and narrowly avoided getting hit by a minivan that was passing by.

I stormed into the office, and the secretary looked up in alarm. “My kids are missing!” I blurted out.

She looked at me in bewilderment for a few seconds before she calmly
and efficiently
asked, “Which kids are yours?”

“Caleb and Savannah Vassar,” I answered quickly. My hand flew to my chest in an effort to still my rapidly pounding heart.

The secretary consulted a ledger in front of her before glancing back up at me. “Their mother picked them up at noon today.”

“Noon?! What the hell did she pick them up at noon for?” I asked, as my heart rate started to slow. They were with Carlie. They were okay.

I hoped.

My phone started ringing in my hand, and I looked down to see it was Josh.

“They’re with Carlie,” I told him without preamble.

“I know. I just talked to her,” he said, and it sounded like he was gritting his teeth.
“She checked herself out of the facility this morning, rented a car, and came and got the kids.”

“She was allowed to do that?”

“Yeah. She went in voluntarily, so they let her go, I guess. I tried to call her doctor, but they won’t tell me anything since I’m not related to her.”

Shit.
We had no idea if she was stable or not.

“Are the kids
okay?”

He sighed. “Yes, they are, but they’re on their way to The Keys.”

“The Keys?! What the hell, Josh?”

“Fucking Carlie,” he murmured, and I wondered if this wasn’t the first time she’d done something like this. “I told her school just started, but she kept saying she didn’t get to take her kids on a summer vacation, so they were going now. They’ll be back on Sunday.”

“Sunday! But they have school tomorrow.”

“I know, but she doesn’t care, and she’s their mother.”

“Josh, we have to do something. They can’t miss school. It’s the first week.”

“They’re not legally ours, Tay. There’s nothing we can do.”

I knew he was right. It just sucked. Why Carlie would
do
something like that didn’t make any sense. And for the first time I started to wonder if she really knew what was right for her kids. Was she even better? Didn’t manic depressives go on highs and lows? Was she on medication to regulate her moods?

There were too many questions I needed answers to, and I just didn’t have them. I suddenly felt very territorial and protective of Caleb and Savannah. I hadn’t ever met Carlie, but I’d started to really care for her kids, and I needed to know they were safe.

“Are they okay?” I asked Josh quietly, fighting to keep the worry out of my voice.

“They’re fine,” he told me, but I was concerned that he wasn’t telling me the whole truth.

“You’re sure?”

He sighed. “I don’t know, but I have to trust that Carlie loves them, and she wouldn’t hurt them. She’s never harmed them in ten years.”

“Okay,” I said, still not convinced, but helple
ssly unable to do much else but
agree. “I guess I’ll come home then.”

“That sounds good.”

Josh even sounded defeated, and he wasn’t the kind of person to let things get him down very often. It seemed those two kids had worked their way into both of our hearts, and there wasn’t a damn thing either of us could do about it.

* * *

“You look amazing!” Casey shrieked when she came up behind me.

I spun around and smiled at her. “You came!”

“I wouldn’t miss it, dah-ling,” she said, as she leaned forward to air-kiss my cheek, careful not to smear her bright red lipstick,
that matched her bright re
d strapless dress
.

“Let me see this gorgeous dress you’ve been bragging about for days,” she said as she took me at arm’s length and looked me up and down.

Just for t
he opening party, I’d bought an
emerald green short, strapless dress with a bubble skirt and paired it with sparkling gold heels.

“Love the shoes! How very pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.”

I grinned. “They are fairly fabulous, aren’t they?”

“I am looking forward to taking them and this dress off later,” Josh said, as he snuck up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

He set his chin on my shoulder, and the intimacy of his closeness, combined with the scruff on his cheek scratching me, and the fact that we hadn’t had sex in forever made me want to see if I might be able to drag him back to his office for a quickie. But then I remembered my birthday and thought better of the idea. Besides, we were the hosts. People would notice us missing.

“Hey Josh,” Casey smirked.

Our friends were still getting used to seeing us together because outside of the first two weeks we were dating, we hadn’t been out, so although we’d been together for six weeks and playing house like a married couple for four of those weeks, our relationship was still new to them.

“Hi Casey,” Josh said. “
Can you believe how lucky I am?”

She winked at him. “It’s the luck of the Irish, matey.”

“Case, that’s an Australian accent,” I told her.

Josh laughed in my ear. “Says the girl who speaks Scottish fluently.”

“Hey, we all have gifts,” I told him, and he kissed me on the cheek.

“Okay, I have to go speak to some people, but later, you are all mine,” he told me as he pulled away.

“You’ve got a deal
, Mr. Nolan
,” I told him
in my crappy Irish accent, and he just laughed
as he backed away from me and almost collided with a server and a tray of appetizers. The waitress dodged him, and Josh winked at me before he turned around.

I laughed at him as I appraised the crowded bar all around us.

I couldn’t believe how packed the place was, and there was a line outside. We were turning people away. The re-opening of the bar was a complete success. There were no two ways about it. The turnout was more than we’d expected, everyone was raving about the new look of the place, and they loved the updated drink and food menus. I was glad Josh had let me keep ‘The Taylor’ on the menu, but I noticed he’d renamed it ‘Josh Loves Taylor’, and because he knew I was
still
upset about what had happened with the kids earlier in the week, he’d been plying me with drinks all night.

“This turnout is amazing, chica,” Casey said as she grabbed a ‘Josh Loves Taylor’ from a passing tray.

“I know, right,” I said, taking liberal sip of my
own
drink.

A part of me kept thinking I needed to be responsible because I had to get up in the morning, but then I’d remember I had no obligations
,
and Josh and I could sleep in as long as we wanted. That combined with the fact that I couldn’t let go
of how unsettling
the Carlie situation was had me taking more liberal sips than I normally would, and having not been drunk in a month, my tolerance had slipped tremendously. I was not the same party girl I once was, and this was not a night for me to let go, so I decided to stop drinking and enjoy the fact that our risk wasn’t going to be a risk at all.