Seaside Sunsets (10 page)

“Everyone should experience ice cream for dinner.”

She gasped. “You are a very bad influence, and I really, really like it.” She rested her head against his shoulder, feeling like the luckiest girl on the planet. Not because of the ice cream, but for the thought behind it. Jamie had listened to what she’d said when she was talking to his grandmother, and that meant a lot to her. The few men she’d dated were very self-important, and she’d always felt like an afterthought.

After getting waffle cones bursting with enough ice cream to feed three people, they drove down to Nauset Beach and walked along the shore while they ate. Jamie held her cone while she put on the sweatshirt she’d brought and rolled up her jeans; then she held his cone while he rolled up his jeans.

“Aren’t you cold?” she asked as she handed him back his cone.

“You keep my engine running pretty hot.” He reached for her hand, and even after all they’d said to each other earlier in the day, she felt herself blush.

In the distance, a red light blinked up high in a lighthouse. It was nice walking hand in hand with the sounds of the waves lapping at the shore beside them.

“You have to taste this.” She held up her cone for him to taste.

“I don’t think I like chocolate. Let me try it this way.” He pulled her close and kissed her. “Yup. I like Jessie chocolate better.”

“You’re a goof.”

He laughed. “Tell me about yourself, Jess. I know you like chocolate ice cream, you play the cello, you dislike technology—which I’ll change if I have my way—and you love your father. What don’t I know?”

“That’s a tough question, because I’m so used to focusing on my work that I’m sort of at a loss about the rest of myself. The only thing I know for sure that I don’t like—other than technology—is being twenty-seven and feeling like I’m living the life of a much older person. But here’s what I have discovered that I do like. I really like your friends, which made me realize how much I’ve missed all these years by not having close friends. And one day I might like to do something to help kids, although I have no idea what that might be. I love to read, and right now I have a love-hate relationship with my cello. Mostly love, really. I always wished I had siblings, and I live in Boston.” She finished her ice cream and then added, “And my favorite thing in the world as of this very moment is chocolate ice cream eaten while holding your hand.” She smiled up at him. “Your turn.”

“Well, let’s see. I’m kind of loving holding your hand and finishing my cone, too, but I think it has more to do with you than the ice cream.” He pulled her against his side as the tide rose and water crept toward them. “I never wished for siblings, because that would have meant sharing my grandmother, and I really treasured her. Still do. I live a pretty simple life, also in Boston, as you know.”

“What do you do for a living?”

“I’m a computer geek.”

“Oh God. Really? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything about not liking technology.”

A wave crashed against the shore and raced toward them. Jamie wrapped an arm around her waist and lifted her up and over the rushing water. She squealed and laughed as he ran up the beach toward the dunes with her in his arms. They tumbled onto the sand in a fit of laughter.

“You’re fast!” She was out of breath from laughing, and it felt so good that her cheeks hurt from smiling. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d laughed so hard. Her hair was whipping in the wind. She gathered it and twisted it into a knot at the base of her neck.

“Wow.” His eyes danced over her face. “You’re always beautiful, but now I can see your face better, and your neck, and…” He leaned closer and kissed her; then he pulled his knees up and casually rested his arms over them.

The air around them heated, and she knew he pulled back to cool the passion brewing between them in an effort to respect their new rules.

“Tell me…” She swallowed past the urge to kiss him again. “Tell me about your computer geekiness.”

He leaned his shoulder against hers and laughed. “My computer geekiness? Well, you know that search engine you hate so much, OneClick?”

“If you mean the
evil
search engine, yes, I know it too well for my liking,” she teased.

“I developed it.” He stared out at the ocean as if he’d just told her that his name was Jamie or his hair was black.

“Developed it? Like, created it?” She couldn’t fathom the amount of technical knowledge it would take to create such a thing.

He nodded. “Don’t hold my geekiness against me.”

“I won’t if you won’t hold my inability to master it against me.” She scooted closer so their sides were pressed against each other. “I’m stealing your warmth.”

He put his arm around her and kissed her temple. “I’ll happily share my warmth.”

“So what’s it like to do what you do?” She envisioned him sitting in front of a computer all day, but she had no idea what he’d actually do beyond that.

“It’s kind of like juggling about fifty balls at once. My company has twelve hundred employees in Boston and another fifteen hundred overseas. I just launched a new project last summer that integrates several arms of our search engines and brings results to users quicker and with more options using various algorithms—” He tightened his grip on her shoulder. “I’m rambling about something you have no idea about. Talk about boring. Sorry. Basically I do geeky stuff all day and go to a lot of meetings.” He dug his toes into the sand.

“Your eyes light up when you talk about it, so you must enjoy it.” She loved the smile that came with those happy eyes and the creases by his mouth that made her want to kiss him again.

“I wake up excited to get started, and when I finally go to bed at night, which is sometimes at two or three in the morning, because I do my best work at night, I hit the pillow feeling satisfied.”

“Sounds like you’re talking about a lover.” She wrapped her arm around his leg and cuddled in closer, soaking in the ocean breeze as it washed over them.

“Yeah, I guess. But a different type of satisfaction.” He stroked her back, warming her all over. “How about you? Tell me about prim and proper symphony mode.”

She turned and looked at him, expecting to see a taunt in his eyes, but they were dark and serious. “Do you really want to know?”

“I want to know everything you’re willing to share with me.”

Everything?
That gave her pause. She’d never felt like her life was very interesting. “Okay, well, in a nutshell, I’ve been playing since I was a little girl. My mom says I always wanted to play, and I don’t remember a time I didn’t want to, so I have to believe her. But I think I also wanted to please her. She’s an incredible cellist, but she never made the cut for the more prestigious symphonies, and I wanted to do that for her. I think I did, anyway. I’m no longer sure about the whys of it all, but I can’t go backward. I can only keep moving toward the brass ring. This summer is my brass ring.” She rested her head on his shoulder. “When I see how your grandmother treats you, it drives home how much I missed with my mom. I long to have a mother who treats me like I’m special for reasons other than my musical abilities. Vera looks at you like she adores the person you are. My father does that, and it makes up for what my mother never did, but still.”

“Babe.” He stroked her back.

“It’s okay, really. I can’t feel bad for myself, because while my mother wasn’t warm when I was growing up, she taught me all the proper things I needed to know to succeed in my field, and I inherited her musical talents, so I should really thank her.”

He gathered her in his arms and held her tight. She closed her eyes and soaked him in. She’d never shared those worries aloud, and she hadn’t realized how deep they cut until that very second when she felt her throat swell and tears dampen her eyes.

“Wouldn’t it be great if we could choose our parents?” Jamie’s voice was solemn.

Jessica remembered that his parents had died. She lifted her head and saw compassion in his eyes. “Jamie. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Here I am complaining about my mother, and yours is…”

“Gone.”

“Yes.” More tears welled in her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

He nodded. “You know, I used to carry a lot of anger. I’ve never told anyone this before, but I’m sure my grandmother knows how angry I was. My parents had a lot of money. My father worked on Wall Street. He’d come home late at night, and I’d hear them talking after I was in bed. He’d come into my room, rub my back a little to wake me up, and talk to me about my day. I don’t remember much, just bits and pieces of things. I remember my mom always smiling. She was a nature lover, and I think that’s why she was so excited to go on the safari. She could finally see all the beautiful creatures she had dreamed about and watched on television. And my dad? He would do anything to see her smile. The thing that stood out most about him was the way he looked at my mom, like she was the most incredible person he knew, almost like he fell in love with her over and over again every time he saw her. We used to spend weekends as a family, and I have this feeling, more than a memory, of how much they loved me. But when they were planning their trip, I remember begging them not to go. That I remember clearly.”

“Oh, Jamie.” She caressed his cheek.

He shook his head and looked off in the distance. “I don’t know why I was so against them going. They showed me brochures, and they were so happy about going on this safari that for some reason scared the shit out of me.”

“Do you think you knew they were going to run into trouble? I’ve heard of that, young kids having premonitions. They say kids are more open to those types of things.” She could never have this New Agey type of conversation with her parents, and yet, with Jamie, she felt as though she could talk about anything.

He shrugged. “Maybe. Or maybe I was just a scared little boy who didn’t want to go to the African bush for a month, or maybe I just didn’t want my parents to go. I don’t know.”

“Were you with them when…?”

“Vera wouldn’t let them take me. She told them that it wasn’t good for me to miss a month of school, and she came to New York to stay with me. I’ve always felt a little guilty about that.” His eyes became hooded, and he looked away.

“I’m so sorry, and I hate that nothing I say can take that pain away.” She climbed into his lap, wrapped her arms around his neck, and pressed her cheek to his. “I wish I was there when you were little. I’d have hugged you and told you how loved you were. I’d have listened when you were angry and cried when you were sad.”

His strong arms wrapped around her body and he sighed. “I believe you would have. It was a long time ago.”

They sat like that for a long while, their silence buffered by the sound of the ocean and the smell of the sea. Eventually—Jessica didn’t know how much time had passed—his grip on her eased. Their eyes connected, and when their mouths came together, the rest of the world fell away. All that was left was the sound of their breathing, the feel of their hearts beating fast and hard against their chests, and the passion that had them kissing with desperation, grasping at each other’s bodies. She ran her hands through his hair, over his neck, and all over every inch of his muscular back she could reach, while his hands traveled up her sides, brushing the sides of her breasts, making her crave more of him. The sadness of their confessions swirled around them and morphed into something thinner and smaller with every breath, then changed shape completely, spiraling into a common thread that wound around them and bound them together.

“Jess,” he said in a heated breath.

Three dates. Three dates. Three dates
.
Oh God! Three whole dates?

She couldn’t answer. She could only kiss him more. His hands slid beneath her shirt and—
Oh God, yes
—he caressed her breasts, sending a shudder of need right through her. Her nipples hardened with the first brush of his fingers. Shivers of heat chased that shudder deeper, and when he used his other hand to hold the back of her head as he kissed her neck, then licked it with his tongue, it was all she could do to fist her hands in his shirt to keep from begging for more. But, Lord, did she want more. He used his teeth to unzip her sweatshirt, and it just about killed her to have his mouth that close to her skin. He drew back for an instant.

“Waist up?”

“Waist up.”
Ohgodohgodohgod
.

He lifted her shirt and palmed her breasts through her lacy black bra, then ran his tongue along her cleavage. Her body felt electrified. She could hardly believe she was making out
on the beach
. She didn’t do things like this! But every pass of his tongue took her higher, until she couldn’t think and couldn’t take it anymore. She reached down and unhooked the center clasp of her bra. He moaned, a guttural, masculine sound of appreciation, as his mouth found her nipple and he taunted her with his talented tongue while squeezing the other between his finger and thumb. She was going to hyperventilate. She was sure of it. She couldn’t catch her breath, except to beg.

“More. Oh God, Jamie.”

He sucked and licked until her mind went numb and her body turned into a bundle of oversensitive nerves. Every kiss, every touch, took her closer to the edge.

They tumbled to the sand, groping and kissing, their hips gyrating against each other. He was hard and she was wet, so wet. With her shirt pushed above her breasts, her bra open, the cold air hit the wet skin of her nipples. Goose bumps raced across her flesh as his big hands gripped her ribs and he kissed a path down the center of her stomach and lingered around her belly button. He circled it with his tongue, then thrust into it. His thumbs stroked the sensitive skin beside her hips, and she felt as though she might come apart right then. She buried her hands in his hair and he grazed his teeth along her waist, his hard length pressing into her thigh. He moved up her body, positioning his hips over hers, and pressed his erection against her center. He felt so good, so hard, so…
Oh Lord
. He was sucking on her neck while putting pressure on her damp center with the heat of his arousal. Tingling began in her arms and legs. Something unfamiliar, wicked, and wild coiled deep in her belly, tugging, reaching, teasing, making her swell and ache between her legs. She’d read about these sensations, but she’d never actually felt them.
Oh God.
Her heartbeat quickened. She was so close. She had to be. This had to be what all the fuss over sex was about. She sensed the titillation of an impending orgasm. Her mouth went dry, numb, and she slammed her eyes shut, wanting it so badly. Wanting this with Jamie. It was just out of reach, making her chest feel icy and hot at the same time. Oh God, she wanted this.