Authors: Ong Xiong
At the end of the
match, the reigning champion was still the reigning champ. She understood why
he was called Leopard. He moved quickly and efficiently, making the dance moves
look easy, but she was sure she couldn’t land on all fours after a back flip
then go straight into another step. She told Jae and he laughed.
Jae grabbed her
hand, and she felt his warm hand, callused and strong, leading her away from
the crowd. She liked it. She liked this new feeling of holding onto his hand.
He lightly squeezed her hand and she squeezed back. He was in front of her and
turned to smile at her. She smiled back. They left after the match and didn’t
stay for the next round.
CHAPTER
17
They decided to
pick up dinner from a small restaurant. Jae took her to a lookout where she had
a beautiful view of the city. The night was warm with a cool, gentle breeze.
They were sitting on the grass, overlooking the city. Jae was sitting next to
her, watching her. She was too enchanted by the view to notice that Jae was
watching her.
“Now this is much
better,” she said grinning. She spread her arms wide. “You listen well,” she
said, sounding like a school teacher.
He didn’t respond
to her. He just watched her.
“What are you
thinking about? You’ve become quiet,” Sue said turning to him. She snickered.
“Then again, you don’t talk much do you?” she added before returning her gaze
to the city. To her surprise, he answered her and she swiftly turned to him.
“I was thinking
about you,” he wanted to say. “I was thinking about stage names,” he said
instead, his eyes lingering at her lips. He was thinking about kissing those
lips, but he wasn’t about to tell her that. “I was thinking about what kind of
name I could use. Help me?” he added, turning his gaze away from her, fighting
the temptation to act on his thoughts.
“Why not use your
real name? Why pick a stage name at all?” she asked.
“I suppose it is
so I don’t lose myself.”
“That’s a
contradiction isn’t it? I mean, you want to give yourself another identity, yet
you don’t want to lose yourself. Aren’t you afraid you might become your alter
ego? Or is Jae your alter ego and you want to find your true identity?”
“What do you
think?”
“I like Jae. Why
not let people know Jun Jae Park?”
“Perhaps my
reason runs deeper than just namesake?”
“Perhaps.”
“Woman you make
me daft. I ask you for assistance and you lecture me on identity crisis. It’s
just a name, Suzy, nothing more. Besides, I’ve always wanted a cool name. Now,
stop being so philosophical and help me think of a name I could use.”
“Philosophical?
Gee, touchy aren’t we? Fine, as you wish, Your Grace. Now, stop your staring
and let me think. I can’t concentrate with you looking at me like that.” He
called her Suzy and she liked it. No one had ever called her anything besides
Sue. Even her friends didn’t give her a nickname. Her sisters were known as
Yeeki and Mai. Her brothers Tou, Tong and Teng were known as Tou-be, Tongy and
Tenga by their friends. Sue had always been Sue. Perhaps it was the way he said
it, so casually, as if he had always called her so.
She was still
remembering the unexpected kiss from earlier. She brought her hand to her lips,
still remembering the feel of his lips, his tongue, his skin, his scent. He
smelled of cleanliness and man. Though, since it was her first kiss, she didn’t
know what other men would smell like or kiss like.
She fought the
urge to laugh at the wonderful memory of their kiss as she remembered her
remark about not battling each other with their tongues.
In the brief
period of her life when she had explored the romance genre in her quest to
expand her literary curiosity, Sue attempted to compare this kiss to those she
had read about. She could not conjure the right words to describe his lips
touching hers, his scent, his taste, his touch—no kiss she had ever read about
could be brought up as reference to this one kiss. She shook her head and took
a deep sigh.
“Why are you
shaking your head?” Jae asked.
“Nothing,” Sue
quickly replied. She opened the plastic bag containing their dinner and took
out two Styrofoam bowls, desperately trying to hide her blush. She really
needed to get a hold of herself.
She hadn’t been
able to decide what to order and had asked Jae to order something for her. He
had ordered rice with sautéed chicken and vegetables for them. She picked their
drinks. Water. No soju. She didn’t like the popular Korean alcoholic drink.
They ate in
silence. Sue watched the night sky with so much peace that Jae just let her be.
She seemed to be annoyed with him so often; he wondered if she liked him. She
had said he was cute, but did she like him? She turned her gaze to him and
smiled. He was getting used to that smile. God, she was lovely. What to do? He
liked her more and more.
“Now, why are you
scowling?” she asked, giving him a frown. “You know, if you didn’t scowl so
often, you almost seem approachable,” she told him. “If I didn’t know you
better, I would be running the other direction.”
“And what makes
you think you know me?”
“I know that
scowl of yours hides a very handsome face,” she answered sweetly.
He continued to
scowl.
“Oh, quit your
scowling,” she said as if she was telling a child to quit their pouting.
Ignoring the look he was giving her, she returned her gaze to the city, trying
to concentrate on not thinking about his kiss and his touch.
Jae was
restraining from kissing her. No girl had ever been so candid with him. No girl
had ever commanded him to “quit his scowling” before. She wore her emotions
like he wore his, only she showed him everything while he hid everything. He
did quit his scowling and grinned, remembering how she had kissed his chin
because she
missed
his lips.
“I got it!
Khyba!” she suddenly burst out, grabbing onto his arm. Her sudden outburst
brought him out of his thoughts. She was grinning brightly at him.
“Ky bah?” Jae
asked, watching her.
“Khyba. Well,
Khyber actually. The Khyber Pass connects Peshawar and Kabul, between
Afghanistan and Pakistan.”
“
Mwuh
?
(What?)”
“Anyways, I like
the sound of Khyba. It seems so…so foreign,” she said laughingly. “It matches
you so perfectly.”
“Khyba huh? Why
not Khyber?”
“Well, Khyber is
best, but Khyba matches you.”
“I’ll think about
it.”
“You do that.”
She smiled. “What about me? What would you call me, say, if I needed a stage
name?”
“Hmmm, let’s
see,” he said, pondering. He acted as if he was in deep thought and for some
reason or another, Sue found that infuriating. She noticed that he did that to
her often, teasing her, taunting her. He looked her up and down. He grinned.
His lips moved and all she heard was, “Shorty.”
“What?” She
nearly shouted. “Shorty?”
“Now look who’s
the touchy one?” He started laughing and she realized then that he was just
joking.
Sue also realized
she was still holding onto him. She felt the urge to let her hands roam over
his well-defined muscles and she blushed at the thought of doing just that. She
found him watching her and she released his arm, apologizing as she did so. But
before she could completely release his arm, he took hold of her hands and kept
them on his arm. He leaned down and kissed her. She forgot all about behaving
like a good girl and she kissed him back.
They spent the
rest of the evening lying on the grass, watching the night sky. The place
reminded Sue of home and she felt happy and lonely at the same time.
“My friend Katie
and I used to visit the Como planetarium when we were in high school. We would
spend hours watching the night sky, seeing if we could identify the
constellations we had seen at the planetarium. Some nights we could see the Big
Dipper but most of the time, we didn’t have much luck. One summer, Katie went
camping with my family and me at Lake Carlos and we spent hours mapping the
constellations. It was the most memorable camping trip ever.” She turned to
him and propped her head on her hand.
He was lying on
his back, asleep. His right hand tucked beneath his head, his left hand rested
on his chest, moving with his steady breathing. Sue stared at him for a while,
debating if she should wake him. He looked so peaceful she didn’t have the
heart to wake him. She moved closer to him and fell asleep next to him.
CHAPTER
18
Sue enjoyed every
minute of that night they fell asleep beneath the stars and every night after
that. For the rest of June into July, they spent every free time they had with
each other. Every Monday through Friday morning they spent time together at the
fish market and the evenings at Jae’s apartment.
“Show me the four
gates, the palaces, the pagodas—everything,” she told him. He showed her the
four gates, the palaces, the pagodas and more. He took her to places not in
tourist books. They returned to the falls and this time, she willingly jumped
off the cliff. They brought a picnic and spent the entire day there. He taught
her how to swim. She taught him how to make a grasshopper cage out of grass. He
turned the lesson into making a wreath of wildflowers instead. He kissed her
when he placed the beautiful flower crown on her head. She kissed him back.
They spent every
weekend with each other. If it rained, they spent the time at his studio. She
practiced the music he wanted her to play and he practiced his dancing,
developing more moves. Sometimes, Sue watched him dance. Sometimes, she found
him watching her playing his guitar. Sue showed Jae the proper techniques for
playing the guitar. He was not a very patient student. He showed her how to
dance. She in turn gave him the same treatment he showed her with the guitar.
“Go left. Left!” he instructed. She went right, just to rile him. By the end of
the lessons, he didn’t progress with the guitar and she was still tripping on
her own feet.
Sometimes, he
kissed her. Sometimes, she kissed him. Some nights she fell asleep with him on
the mat in his apartment. Their time together did not progress to more than
kissing though there were times when they couldn’t keep their hands from
exploring each other. Sometimes, she found herself wanting him to go further,
but he would stop. Both panting, both wanting more, but he always stopped
before they went further. In time, she felt grateful for his gentlemanly ways
and in many ways, she came to appreciate him more, knowing that she could trust
him to not take advantage of her.
If it was sunny
Saturdays, they spent time at their favorite spot where they first met. Whether
they performed or not, they spent time there, practicing. Some nights, he would
walk her back to her dorm.
Sometimes, Sue
accompanied Jae to auditions. Sometimes, Jae helped her with her studies.
Then one rainy
July evening, about one week prior to Sue’s departure, they took refuge in a
church, hiding from the rain that took them by surprise. The day had been hot
and humid and though they had expected rain, they weren’t prepared for it.
They were
walking, enjoying the city when it started to rain and they went to the church
to wait. They were soaked by the time they found refuge and laughed as water
dripped from their clothing. They waited outside, by the door where there was
an awning until an hour had passed and it was still raining. They were no
longer soaked, only damp when they entered the church.
To Sue, it was
like walking onto a movie set. They were greeted by a small service room, with
twenty pews, ten on each side. The altar contained a gold cross with two long,
lit candles on either side. A pedestal was in the middle. Several candles were
lit throughout the room, creating an intimate, comfortable glow. An elderly
couple sat in the second pew on the right and an elderly woman with a white
laced scarf wrapped around her head kneeled in prayer in the first pew on the
left.
They sat in the
last pew on the left. They sat quietly for a while before Jae spoke. “If I ask
you to stay with me in South Korea, would you?” he whispered in her ear. She
turned to look at him, uncertain how to answer. Sue was leaving soon and every
day that passed, she, too, wondered what she was going to do. The last month
had been so wonderful. She had seen so much of this beautiful country and she
had enjoyed it more because of Jae. He made her laugh. He made her happy and
made her feel alive.
“Yes,” she heard
herself say.
“Will you marry
me?” he asked.
She watched him,
to see if he was joking. Marry? She hadn’t thought about marriage and if she
did, it was to wait. She had the American dream of wearing a white wedding
dress with her father giving her away at the altar. American culture dictated
first, comes career then comes marriage, yet she heard herself answer, “Yes.”
“Do you trust
me?”
“Yes.”
“Wait here. I’ll
be right back,” he whispered, placing a kiss on her cheek. He was up and out of
the pew before she could react. She watched him disappear through a door on the
right before returning her gaze to the altar, wondering what he was up to. She
thought about her wedding dress and tried to picture Jae in a tuxedo. She
wondered if he would let her comb his thick, black hair. Maybe she would leave
it be. She liked the wild, uncombed look. She smiled to herself, wondering how
her family was going to react to Jae and the news that she was getting married.
Jae reappeared several
minutes later. “Suzy,” he whispered in her ear. “Come with me.”
Sue gave him a
questioning look, unsure what Jae was planning. She followed him through the
door and was greeted by a short, thin Asian man in clerical clothing.