Authors: Ong Xiong
“I told him
you’re pregnant.”
Her hand
immediately paused. She quickly pushed up against his chest to look at him.
“You what?”
“I told him
you’re pre—”
“I heard you!”
She cut him off. “Why did you lie to a priest?”
Jae shrugged and
gave her a sly grin. “Well, technically, I wasn’t lying.”
She gave him a
you-are-full-of-bullshit
look—one of the many looks he had come to love.
“After tonight
you could be,” he said, still grinning at her. “If not, I’ll do my best to make
sure you are.”
Sue laughed. “You
are so full of it.” She poked him in the ribs.
“Ow! What was
that for?”
“For lying.”
“You’re not mad?”
Tucking a wisp of her hair behind her ear, he said, “We didn’t use any
protection, so there is the possibility of you getting pregnant.”
“I know and no,
I’m not mad.” She kissed on his collar bone.
“You wouldn’t
mind having a baby now? Even with your schooling?”
“If my schooling
was more important to me, I wouldn’t have walked down the aisle with you. If I
minded about having a baby, I would have insisted we used protection.” She took
his handsome face in her hands and looked him straight in the eye. “Jae, family
is important to me. You are important to me. I meant what I said. I mean to
keep my vows.”
He kissed her
sweetly, taking his time to savor everything. When their lips parted, she
rested her cheek on his shoulder, her palm on his chest. They remained quiet,
deep in their own thoughts. Though tired, they couldn’t sleep.
“What’s wrong?
What are you thinking about?” Jae asked when he realized she was still awake.
“I’m just
concerned about my husband’s soul,” she replied raising her head to look at
him, thinking this beautiful man was her husband.
“My soul?”
Bracing herself
on his chest, she leaned to nip his lower lip. “Yes, your soul.”
He quietly
laughed as he rolled on top of her on the mat. “Let’s get to work on that baby
so that my soul would be saved.”
Sue laughed as
he nipped her left ear. “I love you, my Lefty,” she whispered to him.
Hearing her, he
began to kiss her jaw, tracing to her lips. She was still laughing when he
kissed her lips. This time around, their love making wasn’t as painful as the
first time and they took their time exploring each others’ bodies, loving each
other. Embarrassment was forgotten.
CHAPTER
20
“Out with Jay
again?” Angela asked with annoyance when Sue returned to her dorm the following
morning.
“Yes,” Sue
replied simply.
“What did you
guys do?” Angela asked nonchalantly.
“We went to the
Olympic park in the afternoon then church in the evening.”
“That’s it?”
“Mmm-hmm.”
“Sounds boring.”
“It was
wonderful,” Sue replied dreamily.
“You’re falling
for him, aren’t you?”
Sue was about to
say, “I love him.” But instead, she simply said, “Yes.” She was still thinking
about the wonderful night she spent with Jae; the feel of his hands on her
body; the feel of his lips… She blushed and quickly turned away.
“Just be careful,
Sue. The guy could be a pedophile,” Angela said acidly.
“Don’t be
ridiculous.”
“How old is he
anyways?”
“Why does it
matter?”
“Tell me!” Angela
demanded.
“Twenty-one.
Jae’s twenty-one-years old. Satisfied?”
“Oh,” Angela
responded, sounding almost disappointed. “He seemed so much older.”
“How so?”
“I don’t know.
The way you talk about him. I thought he’s much older.” Angela watched her
cousin closely. She saw the blush. “If something seems too good to be true, it
could be, you know. He could be using you or something.”
“Using me for
what?”
“Stop pretending
you don’t know what I’m talking about!”
Sue didn’t
answer. She just stared at her cousin, truly trying to think of what Angela was
talking about.
“Your body, you
idiot! What else?”
“My body?”
“Just be careful,
Sue. For all you know, he could just be…be…”
“What?”
“Take what he
wants then afterwards throw you away like used meat!” Angela snapped sharply,
walking out of the room before Sue could react to what was said. She wondered
why her cousin was so upset. They could catch up later. She glanced at the
digital clock by her bed and rushed to the bathroom to shower. She was meeting
Jae soon.
Sue quickly
showered and put on the lavender summer dress she had purchased for a banquet and
strappy sandals. She applied some blush and lip gloss. She smacked her lips
together and did a final check of herself in the full body mirror. She quickly
kissed the string ring on her left ring finger then headed out the door,
grabbing her purse and keys.
“Sue, Sue…” A
female voice called out to her. She swirled around to find a young, homely
woman running toward her. “Where...have you…been?” The woman asked in between
breaths in a thick accent.
“Hi Kim,” Sue
greeted. Her name was Kim Ji-eun but the exchange students had such a hard time
pronouncing her first name she just insisted they call her “Kim.”
“Your…family…”
“Breathe, Kim.
Why don’t you catch your breath first?”
Kim slowed her
breathing and when she finally composed herself, she spoke, “You’re family
called from the states. Urgent message for you to return call. We could not
find you last night. The man, I believe it is your father, was very upset. He
called many times. You must call right away.”
If her father was
calling her, it was an emergency. As much as her parents seem to hover, they
rarely called her. Sue rushed to the phone and made a collect call to her
family.
“Where have you
been?” her father bellowed angrily in Hmong through the receiver.
CHAPTER
21
“Will you let Sue
know I’m here to see her?”Jae said to the receptionist.
“Who are you
today?” asked the receptionist.
“Khyba,” he said.
He wanted her to know. She would know when she hears his name.
“Khyba? That’s
new.” The receptionist smiled as she dialed Sue’s room number.
“Hi. Sue didn’t
mention any Khyba,” said a girl with blonde highlights and plastered makeup.
The girl looked him up and down. “She didn’t mention anything about you. You
are cute. Anyways, with the guys she brings around lately, it’s a figure she
could get all of you straight.”
“Pardon?” said
Jae.
“I’m Angela,
Sue’s best friend,” the girl said, still eyeing him like candy.
Jae listened to
Angela talk about the various men who came to visit Sue. He wasn’t paying
attention at first until he saw her hugging a blonde man. He saw her kissing
the man’s cheek and smiling. He watched her hug the man again then she waved
him goodbye. He watched her watch the man leave before she turned and saw him.
“Hi,” Sue said
when she came to him, wiping her eyes. She hugged him tightly. He felt so good.
“I’m so glad you’re here, I was looking for you. Where were you?”
“We need to
talk,” Jae said curtly.
Sue nodded,
sniffing and wiping her eyes. “Let’s go somewhere else,” she said, taking hold
of his arm and leading him out of the dorms.
“Where are we
going?”
“Somewhere we can
talk privately.”
“Why?”
“Because I need
to tell you something.”
He nodded.
They reached a
secluded spot underneath a large willow tree and she ushered him to sit on a
backless wooden bench. He ignored her invitation and waited for her to speak.
“About this morning, I’m sorry. My father called,” she began, her voice
cracking. “I…”
“I’m leaving
Seoul,” he said cutting her off.
“Okay, but first
we need to—”
“Just me.”
“What?” She
briefly paused for further explanations. He said nothing more. Surprised, she
asked, “Just you? Where? For how long?”
“For a long
time.”
She waited for
him to answer where he was going, for him to explain. He didn’t. “Jae, what’s
wrong? Is something wrong?” she asked, panic apparent in her voice. Whatever
she wanted to tell him was forgotten by his news.
“I don’t think we
can—we don’t fit.”
She was quiet,
letting what he said soak in. Confused and in tears, she demanded brokenly,
“Please explain what you mean by ‘
we don’t fit’
.”
“We don’t fit.
This relationship between us won’t work. Last night was a mistake,” he said
with indifference.
Stunned, she
waited for him to laugh and say he was just jesting. When he didn’t, all she
could do was stare at him. “I don’t understand,” was all she could muster in a
low whisper.
“Yes, you do.”
“No, no I don’t,”
she answered weakly. “Please, tell me what’s wrong,” she pleaded, tears
streaming down her cheeks. “Jae…”
“You’re a smart
girl, figure it out,” he replied coolly.
“You’re not
making any sense. Last night we vowed to spend the rest of lives together and
today we don’t fit?” Her heart was racing as his words began to register.
Angela’s words clearly reverberated in her mind; her warning making more and
more sense. “You got what you wanted and now you have no use for me, is that
right? All the things you said last night were lies? What we shared, what we
promised…all lies? Nothing but a coy to get…to get me…” The knot in her throat
made talking painful and as she spoke, she stuttered, her voice breaking.
He shrugged. Just
like that. She was pouring her heart out to him, waiting for some kind of
explanation and all she received was a careless shrug. Except for the dry tone
and indifferent attitude toward her, he showed her no other emotions. She felt
like crawling into a hole to wait for this horrible nightmare to be over.
“You used me?”
she stammered out, tears streaming down her face.
“If you say so.”
He sounded bored, as if he had done this so many times; it didn’t matter.
Was she just
another girl in his life then? Too stunned to say anything more, Sue wiped the
hot tears streaming steadily down her cheeks. She leaned against the tree to
prevent from collapsing to the ground. The silence was becoming uncomfortable.
“I see,” she said as calmly as she could muster. Liar. She didn’t see at all.
It didn’t make sense. She gave her body to him, her heart, her future, and they
didn’t fit?
Memories of that
morning played painfully before her. “Good morning, beautiful,” he had said.
The morning kiss. The love making. Was it goodbye then? Was this his formal
good bye when he had already said goodbye to her this morning? Was that why he
wasn’t waiting for her at the ward office? Question after question flooded her
mind in a span of seconds before she heard—
“Good luck then,”
he said, turning to leave.
“Good luck? Not
even a goodbye? I gave you my body…my heart…all you have to say to me is…good
luck?”
“Goodbye then,”
he said with a wave as he walked away. He abruptly stopped then turned to ask,
“What did you want to tell me?”
“Nothing,” she
whispered. She wanted to go after him. She wanted to demand he tell her why he
was doing this. She wanted him to tell her he didn’t love her, but her legs
wouldn’t budge. “It doesn’t matter now anyways.” She wiped away her tears. He
had started to walk away again and this time he didn’t turn back. She watched
him until he disappeared.
Stupid,
stupid! How could you have been so stupid
! she shouted in her head.
How
could I be so stupid? Angela was right. Jae was too good to be true. I got used
.
More tears
streamed down her cheek and she wiped them away. She glanced at the string ring
on her left forefinger and she cried harder. Tears dropped onto her glasses,
blurring her vision.
How could you
have been so stupid? You trusted him blindly, never questioning anything!
Stupid! What he said, it was too good to be true. Stupid!
She took off her
glasses, covered her face with her hands and cried harder.
Early the next
day, Sue left South Korea to return home, back to St. Paul, Minnesota.
CHAPTER
22
New York,
February 2010
Sue must have
cried herself to sleep again for she awoke back in Jae’s bed. “Good morning,
beautiful,” she heard Jae say. “Hungry?”
Her eyes widened
and she jolted wide awake. “What time is it?”
“Around nine,”
Jae answered.
“I need to go,”
she said, leaping out of bed, her injured ankle forgotten. She cried out in
pain and lost her balance. Jae caught her and lifted her off the floor.
“Not with that
ankle,” he told her, placing her back in bed.
“I need to go.”
She tried to get out of bed again. Jae wouldn’t allow it. “If you don’t mind me
borrowing your sweatshirt, I’ll be out of your hair in no time.” She brushed
his hands away. “I need to call him,” she said, more to herself. “Now, where
did I—shoot! My purse!” She remembered. She forgot her purse and her coat at
the restaurant. Her cell phone was in her purse; without it, she didn’t know
Michael’s phone number. She groaned in disappointment and flopped down on the
bed.
Jae got into bed
with her. Before she could protest, he had pinned her in place with his strong
arms. “Do you remember his address?” he asked softly. She shook her head no,
refusing to look at him. “Look at me Suzy.”
She turned to
stare angrily at him. “No.” She pushed him away from her, making an attempt to
escape.
He firmly but
gently pulled her back. He leaned down to kiss her temple and continued to kiss
a trail down the side of her neck as he said, “I’m sorry about your dress. I’ll
take care of your transportation while you shower.”