Authors: Ong Xiong
“Ooh girl, beep,
beep,” she heard Tony’s voice somewhere in the distance. “Get a room!” she
heard him saying followed by giggles, chuckles, cheers, and laughter from their
audience.
“Looks like you
two won’t be lonely for Valentine’s Day.” she heard an unfamiliar female voice.
More laughter.
Their lips parted
and their hearts raced. Their unexpected kiss was earth-shattering. “I could
like you,” she whispered against his cheek before she could stop herself. She
had meant to say it to herself, to assure herself, but to her surprise, she
heard her voice loud and clear. She had forgotten the microphone in her hand.
“Looks like you
like him
a lot
!” someone shouted. “Another wedding?” This was followed
by more laughter and more cheers.
As suddenly as
the kiss started, it ended. Michael was looking at her with questioning eyes,
contradicted by a broad grin on his handsome face. A band member took the
microphone from Sue as Michael carried her off the stage.
“Why did you do
that?” Sue asked Michael as they made their way to her seat.
“Do what?” he
asked, pretending innocence.
“Why did you kiss
me?”
“Because I wanted
to,” he answered. He placed her back in her seat and taking advantage of their
closeness, he placed a kiss on her temple. “I could like you, too,” Michael
whispered to her. “We have a duet coming up.” He was grinning as he walked
away, returning to the stage.
The contact was
so brief that only she knew what was happening. She forgot that Jae was sitting
nearby and watching her every move. She was still trying to make sense of
everything as Michael began announcing the next singer and song choice. Michael
winked at her as his eyes met hers.
Michael hadn’t
been able to get his mind off her since she told him that childish knock-knock
joke. Katie had explained the relationship between Sue and Jae to him after she
left so abruptly at Shinobu. Seeing her tonight with Jae, damn that man was
starting to get on his nerves. Seeing her in someone else’s arms made him
jealous. Seeing her tonight in that cute dress—she looked like the sexy doctor
he had imagined. Seeing her beautiful curves tonight made him want her.
“Once again, the
maid of honor,” Michael said through the microphone, smiling, making his way
toward Sue. Jae had Sue in his arms before Michael could get to her. She
protested but Jae ignored her.
“Ladies and
gents, please welcome the lovely Sue again. She’ll sing,
Remember Me
by
Hope Madison,” Michael announced cheerfully even though he wanted to pry Sue
from Jae’s hold.
The audience
clapped.
Katie watched the
drama. Sue looked defeated and hurt. Katie could only watch and hope that Sue
was okay. Katie turned to Tony and asked, “How many drinks did Sue drink so
far?”
“Two, maybe
three,” Tony replied.
Katie noted what
Tony told her and watched as Jae carried Sue onto stage with Michael watching
curiously.
Jae felt Sue
stiffen and her face drained of color when Michael announced the song choice.
Jae could feel her breathing quickened. “Are you okay?” he asked. Sue nodded
her head and told him to put her down. He reluctantly did as she asked then
walk off the stage. He watched as Sue approached Michael and said something to
him. Michael grinned and shook his head. Michael said something back to Sue and
he saw the uncertainty in her eyes. Why was Sue so afraid of this song? He
wondered. Then he remembered. It was the song she had played on his Gibson when
they first met. Sue briefly looked his way. Jae gave her a bored smile that hid
the turmoil he felt inside.
“Michael, I… I
can’t sing this song. Please change it,” Sue said, her voice filled with panic.
Michael grinned
and shook his head. “Don’t worry, you’ll do fine.” Michael thought Sue was
nervous and added. “Don’t be nervous. This is karaoke so you don’t have to be
perfect, besides, you’re a great singer.” Michael winked at her as he gently
guided Sue to center stage where he placed a chair for her. He handed the
microphone to her then walked to the side of the stage. “Keep your eyes on the
screen this time, Sue,” he added as the band began to play the music for
Remember
Me
.
Sue looked at the
television screen. She could see the white printed lyrics against a blue
backdrop. The crowd cheered and someone shouted, “Go, Sue!” Someone said,
“shhhhh.” Someone else hollered, “Hoohoo…” while another whistled at the same
time. The white lyrics began to fill with yellow highlights indicating it was
time to start singing. Sue began to sing:
“I remember the
way you smile and laugh…”
She made the
mistake of briefly looking away from the screen. Perhaps it was the memories or
just her habit of searching for him, because she found herself looking into the
eyes of the man who made the song painful. A song she once loved to listen to.
A song she once loved to play on the guitar was now another painful memento of
the mistakes she made.
Their eyes
locked. And they stayed locked as she sang. All the memories she had tried to
suppress came rushing back. The lyrics of the song became pieces of shrapnel
that drove deeper into her heart with every word that she projected through her
shaken voice. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she looked away. She wiped the
tears off with the back of her hand.
Her voice
trembled.
“
Do you
remember the way I love…”
Her voice broke.
She tried to steady her voice for the next words but she was finding it
difficult to breath. She couldn’t finish the song. “I’m sorry, everyone. This
song always made me teary.” She wiped her cheeks, giving a little laugh to hide
the hurt. “I suppose, it’s because it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow and I’m
single.” She laughed and the audience laughed with her.
“I can change
that,” Michael said. And she realized he was next to her. How long he had stood
by her side while she humiliated herself, she didn’t know.
“I doubt it.” Sue
handed the microphone back to him. “I believe it’s your turn. How about I pick
your song?” she said grinning, still wiping away her tears.
Jae wasn’t laughing.
He wasn’t fooled by her laughter either. He saw the hurt. She purposefully
ignored him and stayed away from him.
He had wanted to
see her one last time before saying goodbye to her forever. He had found her at
last and before he make his peace and say his goodbye, he had Ty follow her. He
had another engagement to attend to but when he learned Michael had picked her
up, he followed. It was supposed to be easy. See her one last time. See her
laughter. See her smile. Then let her go. But what he learned tonight changed
that decision.
The look in those
dark eyes still haunted him. The same look of confusion and hurt. Just like
those he had left, filled with tears beneath that weeping willow years before.
He couldn’t bring himself to walk out of that place, knowing that the woman he
loved still loved him.
CHAPTER
24
Sue awoke with a
headache. The morning light made her head hurt even more and she shut her sore
eyes.
What happened?
She touched her
lips. She had kissed Michael. That she remembered clearly. She groaned and that
made her head hurt. She slowly got up and out of bed. Her ankle still hurt and
her head now felt like it was going to explode. She was unsteady and had to brace
herself on the night stand for support. The motion of standing up made her
aching head spin and her stomach churn.
What happened
?
Groggily, she
tried to move from the bed, but she felt pain everywhere in her body and she
collapsed back on the bed. Her eyes hurt and they were swollen. Her body ached,
her head ached, her wrists were throbbing and her throat burned when she
swallowed.
What did I
drink?
She let her hands
dropped to her side and she touched something. She instinctively turned to see
what she had touched. Her eyes widened in horror.
Michael
?
Michael was bare
from the waist up. He was sprawled next to her, the brown and blue bed sheets
covering his lower half. She looked at herself. She was wearing only her
underwear, baring everything from the waist up. She quickly pulled the covers
to cover herself, inadvertently pulling the sheets away from his lower half.
She shamefully watched to see what was underneath.
Oh, God, did
we? Remember, damn it, remember
!
She gave a sigh
of relief to see trousers covering him underneath the sheets. He stirred and
she quickly averted her eyes. She tried to remember what happened. Crying. She
remembered crying. She remembered Michael carrying her, kissing her. Then
crying, yelling, crying.
Sue stared at the
ceiling, forcing her mind to remember what happened last night, trying to piece
together jagged memories like a jigsaw puzzle. She was so lost in her own
thoughts, she did not hear Michael waking next to her. He touched her arm and
she flinched. She didn’t notice how her reaction was interpreted by the man
lying next to her, watching her.
She closed her
sore eyes, willing her mind to remember. Jae. He was there at the party, but he
left her. She was crying and he left her.
She counted to
ten then turned to Michael, eyes fixed upon him as she began, “Did we… I
mean…what happened?” she croaked. Her voice was hoarse and almost inaudible.
“You cried
yourself to sleep last night. Nothing happened beyond that,” Michael answered,
stretching. He yawned then turned to her and propped his head on his hand.
“Then why are we
in bed…together?”
“I wanted to make
love to you.”
She stared at
him, not knowing what to say, waiting for him to explain further. When he
didn’t continue, she asked, “Did you… did we…? Oh, gawd…” She covered her face
with her hands.
“I’ll make love
to you when you’re ready,” Michael said. “You were too drunk to know who I was…
I mean, I could have been the doorman…” His attempt at a joke was quickly a bad
mistake. She wasn’t laughing or smiling. Her look turned from confusion to
pain. He wasn’t expecting that kind of reaction.
Michael wanted to
hold her, to assure her nothing happened between them beyond kissing, but he
had a feeling that was not a very good idea. The look she gave him made him
want to make love to her more so this morning than last night. He wanted to
take away the hurt and make her laugh. Last night, she cried and told him how
much she loved him; problem was, she called him Jae. She hit him for hurting
her. She told him, while she was hitting him, how much
she hated him. He
had to restrain her to prevent her from bruising him too much. When she did
calm down, she apologized and told him how much she loved him. Again, problem
was, she called him Jae.
“Sue, nothing
happened beyond kissing,” Michael assured her. “Cheer up,” he said, taking her
hand and kissing it. “Happy Valentine’s Day. How about we have dinner together
to celebrate?”
Without saying a
word to him or looking at him, she slowly got out of bed. Sue pulled on her
dress that was lying on the floor, her back to Michael. “If it’s okay with you…
I’d like to be alone tonight,” she said in a low voice that broke the awkward
silence between them.
Several
heartbeats pass before Michael said, “All right. I’ll take you back to the
townhouse.” She sounded so defeated, he didn’t have the heart to argue with
her. “Here, let me help you,” he said, getting out of bed and heading toward
her when he saw her limping.
“I’m fine,” she
answered without turning to him. “I think it’s time for me to try New York’s
transportation system.”
“I don’t think
you are in any condition to do that right now,” Michael said as he stood in
front of her. “At least let me take you back.” He gently touched her shoulders
and kissed her forehead.
“Thank you, but
I’ll be fine.”
“Sue…”
“Please,
Michael,” she pleaded. “Please.”
“Okay. Let me get
ready?” he asked, holding her at arm’s length and watching her.
She closed her
eyes, sighed then nodded.
Tears welled in
her eyes as she waited for her ride outside Michael’s condo building. Sue
didn’t take the time to look around or pay attention to the activities
surrounding her. She didn’t notice the falling snow or felt the chilly breeze
on her warm skin.
Her mind was
still on the events of last night and this morning. The bitter aftertaste of
alcohol was still in her mouth and the memory of waking up topless in Michael’s
bed brought about an attack of guilt like a punch in her gut.
So, this is
the walk of shame
.
Her sister, Mai,
and her friends often joked about the events of waking up after a night of
partying in a stranger’s bed and sneaking out before the other person awoke.
“Oh shit, where’s
my underwear?” Sue once heard Mai’s friend, Jess, say. “I couldn’t find it so I
pulled on my jeans without them. I tried to sneak out before he woke up. I was
like, what the hell happened? But of course I didn’t want to find out.” Sue had
heard laughter from Mai and her friend, Gaotah, as Jess continued. “Then he
woke up and I, trying not to cover my face with shame, walked out like, hey,
what’s up?”
Sue had chuckled
then, but not now. It had seemed more hilarious when others recounted their
walk of shame.
Sue felt so
ashamed she wasn’t sure she wanted to remember what happened.
Shame. Shame.
Shame
. Lord, how she hated that word.
“Miss Thao, this
way,” a man’s voice instructed. Sue followed the man to a vehicle and got in,
not once looking at him or paying attention to where she was going.