Authors: Ong Xiong
“No worries my
Ha-mong girl. I’ll see you later, huh.”
They parted with
smiles and Sue watched him leave before she entered the dress shop. A smile on
her face, goose bumps on her skin, and a knot in her chest.
What are you
doing Sue?
CHAPTER
27
“What do you
think of Michael?” Katie asked Sue when they were trying on their dresses for
the final fitting. Katie had witnessed their brief kiss outside the dress shop.
“Why are you
asking?” Sue replied, taking off her clothes in the dressing room.
“Just curious.
The way you were flirting with him, well, I naturally thought you are, you
know, interested in him.”
Sue paused. “I
was flirting?”
“You mean you
weren’t flirting?”
Sue shook her
head. “No. Oh, Katie, is that what it looks like?”
Katie nodded.
“What did you think you were doing, if not flirting?”
“Talking to him.”
“Talking? I call
it kissing, flirting.”
“I call it…oh, I
don’t know.” Sue smiled wearily. “He is wonderful. You know that already.”
“What happened
yesterday? I know you claim to be okay, but honey, you can hide from the world
but not from me. You know my ears are always open for you and my shoulders are
always available. I don’t need to tell you that, but lately…what are you afraid
of? It’s okay to move on, you know.”
“I know,” Sue
answered quietly.
“So what happened
after the party? Tony was naughty and gave you too much to drink.” Katie sat
down on the ottoman and nudged her friend. “What happened, hon?”
“I hit Michael,
accusing him of taking my innocence and breaking my heart. I yelled and cried
and I believe I tried to bite him at some point; I’m not entirely clear on
that. We came close to making love, Katie.” Sue laid her head on Katie’s
shoulder and continued. “And I think we would have if I didn’t accuse him of
breaking my heart again. I think I told him more than he needed to know, then
again, I was probably incoherently screaming by then. The poor man. He had to
endure me calling him Jae throughout my psychotic, alcohol-induced rage. He
lived to tell me about it, but I think I might have scarred him for life.”
They chuckled.
Sue continued, detailing the morning after and her meeting with Jae.
“Does that mean
you are not interested in Michael then?” Katie asked softly.
“The question is,
is Michael interested in me? I don’t think Michael likes me very much.”
“What makes you
think that?” Katie asked with surprise.
“I think he would
rather strangle me than anything else. Today at the park, we came across this
pro-life display and I practically talked him to boredom.”
“And you think he
doesn’t like you because of that?”
“I think, he
doesn’t deserve someone like me, Katie. He deserves better. He deserves someone
who…who is not so…damaged.”
“You think you
are damaged? Just because of some minor mistakes you think you might have made
and you think you are damaged?”
“Damaged beyond
repair. And it wasn’t just some minor mistakes, Katie. It was a huge mistake! I
allowed myself to be manipulated, used and abused, however you decide to put
it, the end result was the same. I...” She sighed. “I just don’t want a repeat.
Michael…” Sue trailed off. Michael was… She really didn’t know, didn’t want to
know.
“You are still in
love with Jae, aren’t you?” Katie asked.
“I never stopped,
Katie.” Her chest burned at the mention of Jae. Sue sat on the ottoman in the
dressing room in her underwear, looking defeated. “I tried to but I couldn’t.
When I saw him again … why didn’t he just stay away?”
“Maybe he still
loves you, too?”
“I doubt it. We
didn’t fit,” Sue said bitterly.
“Don’t you know
the effect you have on that man?”
“If anything,
it’s probably lust.”
Katie gasped,
sprouting to her feet. She placed her hands on her hips and demanded, “Sue
Thao! You take that back!”
“I will not!”
“Now!” Katie
demanded, stamping her foot. “This instant young lady or I’m calling your
mother!”
“My mother
wouldn’t understand you anyway so go right ahead!” Sue crossed her arms in
defiance.
They looked at
each other, both only in their underwear and bra. They burst into laughter.
“Oh, Katie, what
is this really about? You are getting married,” Sue said, wiping tears from her
eyes with the back of her hand. “You should be thinking about your wedding,
your honeymoon, anything but this. This is my problem, my worries. I’m sorry I
haven’t been a very good maid of honor. Please, let’s think about your wedding.
I already felt so guilty about all this—drama.”
“I think it’s
rather exciting, this whole love triangle, drama thing going on.” Katie clasped
her hands to her chest and batted her eyes as she dramatically added, “And who
will the teary-eyed beauty choose? The handsome prince charming or the cutie
ex-husband?”
“Love triangle usually
involves love, Katie. I highly doubt there’s
love
in all this
drama
.
If anything, it is--”
“Don’t you dare
say it again, Dr. Thao!”
“You mean…lust?”
Katie grimaced.
“They’re horny
men, perfectly normal. They are bound to show lust once in a while.”
“Why would you
think that?” Katie asked. “Did you not see the way he was watching you? It was
not lust, Sue.”
“Michael?”
“Jae.”
“He was
pouting…like a spoiled boy who didn’t get his way.”
Katie thought
about it then said, “I don’t think so. He wasn’t pouting. If I didn’t know what
happened between the two of you, perhaps I would have thought he was bored.
Except, the more I watched him, the more I could see he cares for you, Sue. His
eyes never left you and when you were on stage with Michael, he looked like he
could kill Michael. I was afraid for Michael’s life when the two of you
kissed.”
Sue forced a
laugh. “Really, Katie, you should be thinking about your wedding. It is this
Saturday, you know,” Sue said, holding a painful smile, trying to hide the hurt
of what Katie had said. Oh, how desperately she wanted it all to be true. But
it couldn’t be. She had seen his poster as they drove by Madison Square Garden
and realized that Jae was now Khyba. He wasn’t the young, struggling man she
fell in love with. He was Khyba now, and she was just still the stupid, naïve
girl who couldn’t say no.
The two friends
eventually finished their dress fitting. Katie dropped Sue off at the townhouse
and though Sue invited Katie and Patrick for dinner, Katie declined.
A bouquet of a
dozen red roses surrounded by baby’s breath waited for her on the kitchen
island, beautifully displayed in a glass vase. Sue read the note:
To my Ha Mong
girl,
Happy
Valentine’s Day.
Michael
Sue’s shoulder’s
sagged.
Why do you have to be so good?
CHAPTER
28
Sue often said
that it was Katie who saved her, but Sue had saved Katie as well. The first
time Katie visited Sue, she was thirteen-years-old and she didn’t want to ever
leave. It was Tou’s high school graduation and Sue’s family was having a
graduation party at their home.
When Katie
arrived at the house, she was greeted by the family shoes. A couple of white
shoe racks were stacked on top of each other by the door in the kitchen. They
were stocked full of shoes. Several pairs were on the floor, neatly lined along
the bottom of the racks and by the cabinet. Katie immediately thought about her
mother.
If her mother
were to walk into their kitchen to discover the family’s shoes in this way,
Katie was sure her mother would have a stroke. For starters, her mother
probably owned more shoes than Sue’s family combined.
Sue called out a
greeting and ushered Katie to enter the home. Sue washed her hands and showed
Katie where she could place her backpack. “We’re making eggrolls. Tons of them
so be prepare to roll,” Sue said smiling as they walked back to the kitchen.
“Those are my
sisters, Mai Yee, we all call her Yeeki, and Mai Yia. You can call her Mai.”
Sue pointed to two pretty girls with short, cropped hair and bangs. “Those are
my cousins, Angela and Angelina. Angela is the same age as us,” Sue said as she
introduced the cousins.
Mai was peeling
the wrappers while the others rolled. Sue showed her how to wrap eggrolls.
“See. Lay the
wrapper like this,” Sue instructed. Sue placed a thin sheet of square pastry
wrapper that reminded Katie of tortillas on the table in the shape of a
diamond. “This is home base.” Sue pointed to the corner facing her. “This is
first, second and third base.” Sue pointed to the rest of the corners.
Katie laughed.
Sue hated baseball, softball, and kick ball. To hear her using the baseball
diamond to teach Katie how to roll eggrolls was ironically funny.
“I know, I know.
It’ll make sense, I promise,” Sue said laughing. “Shall we start then?”
Katie nodded.
“Okay, here.” Sue
placed a sheet in front of Katie in the same diamond form as was in front of
herself. “Take some stuffing and line it horizontally like this on the
pitcher’s mound. See?”
Katie mimicked.
“Good. Now fold
home base over the stuffing.” Sue showed her as she spoke. “Then you bring in
the first and third base into a bear hug, like this.”
Katie giggled.
Sue did the same.
“Next, roll and
tuck,” Sue said.
“Huh?”
“Roll like a
burrito and tuck the sides into a tight roll, like this,” Sue said,
demonstrating. “When you get to third base, brush the corner with some egg
whites, then roll it home!”
Katie did as she
was instructed.
Sue’s eggroll
turned out perfect, neatly rolled, like those Katie had seen from Chinese
restaurants. Her own eggroll was loose and as she held it up, it limped over.
The two friends muffled their chuckles with the back of their hands and stared
at each other. They burst out laughing as Katie’s eggroll came apart, spilling
the stuffing on to the work surface of lined plastic covering on the kitchen
table. Sue’s sisters and cousins stared at them but Sue didn’t seem to care and
that made Katie feel comfortable.
Two hours later,
Katie had become an expert roller. She had mastered the art of rolling eggrolls
and her reward was a best friend. She would never forget how they stared
proudly at the four, long, aluminum party trays filled with eggrolls they had
assisted in making. Katie had never felt so good or so useful.
The two friends
had sat outside, nibbling on their freshly fried eggrolls. They had discussed
their mutual dislike of their religion teacher, repeating what Mr. Kristenburg
often said in his classroom at St. Agnes. “Remember, it is like calling God…and
what is his telephone number?” They both asked each other using their most
severe expressions. Laughing, they both answered in unison, “A cum spirit two
two O!”
They watched
Sue’s numerous cousins pulling on the crab apple tree branches, throwing rocks
into the neighbors’ driveways, discussing their souped-up Honda Civics, and
playing catch in the streets. All were a great cultural shock to Katie.
Everyone that
passed by them smiled and welcomed her even though they stared at her blonde
hair, blue eyes, and pale skin. They all greeted her in Hmong, “
Nyob zoo
,”
which Sue had translated as “Hello.” They urged her to eat more. “You so
skinny, white girl. Come, come, eat Hmong food, you grow big and strong,”
several elders urged her. At first, she felt awkward and offended but Sue
explained to her that they meant no insult by calling her “white girl.” It was
not a term to insult; rather, it was a term to describe. Katie often remembered
the scene with irony considering that she towered over almost everyone at the gathering.
The men and women
ate separately. The men gathered in the basement of the home where three long,
rectangular tables were lined, end to end, to create one long table. White
paper covered the tables. A large circular tray filled with fruits and cookies
occupied the middle of the table.
Plates of food
were arranged so full on the tables that there was very limited space for the
men to eat. When it was time to pray and congratulate Tou on his
accomplishments, everyone gathered in the small basement. Though Sue’s family
had converted to Christianity, her grandfather had not; therefore, they did the
traditional tying of the white yarn on Tou’s wrist to wish him good luck. Some
tucked money into Tou’s hands as they tied the yarn. Katie had watched with awe
as people whispered prayers and tenderly caressed Tou’s head as they approached
him.
Years later, at
Sue’s high school graduation party, Katie had witnessed the same display of
affection. She had wished her own mother would have patted her on the head,
held her as Sue’s grandmother had done and whispered prayers into her ears.
After the party,
Sue tucked a twenty-dollar bill in Katie’s hand and tied a white yarn on
Katie’s wrist. “I wish you the best in life, my friend,” Sue said as she tied
the white yarn. “Always know that no matter what, I will always be your friend.
It is not gold or jewels of any kind, but it represents my culture in its
purest form, and I would like to share it with you.”
Sue later
explained that though some have relinquished the practice upon conversion to
Christianity, condemning it for practices associated with shamanism, Sue didn’t
see it as thus. Sue gave the white yarn to Katie as a prayer string, wishing
her the best in life.
In many ways, the
white yarn did exactly that. Katie and Sue had remained friends, the best of
friends, since meeting in junior high during detention with Mr. Kristenburg.
They had endured heartaches and hardships together. Sue’s trust and loyalty
kept Katie grounded, kept her in check with reality and sanity.