Authors: Ong Xiong
“Please, Jae…”
She could continue no longer.
“I’m so sorry,
love. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there,” he said, caressing her back, trying to
comfort her and calm himself. They sat like that, on that bed, holding each
other with the only picture of their son between them. When at last, they
calmed enough to speak again, Jae gently took her shoulders in his hands and
pulled away enough to look at the woman he so desperately loved. “
Saranghae
,”
he said, his voice filled with emotions.
He raised his
hands to cup her tear streaked face. He dried her tears with his thumbs while
he tilted her chin up. “Look at me,” he instructed.
When she did,
their eyes locked. She could see his red eyes and felt a stabbing pain of guilt
for hurting him. She had not wanted him to know. She had not wanted him to hurt
like she did. Though she resented him for hurting her, she had never once
thought that he wouldn’t want the baby as much as she did.
He brushed his
lips to hers. “God, I love you. I loved you then and I love you still. I never
stopped,” he whispered before he kissed her fully. “I’m so sorry, love,” he
said in Korean then pulled away enough to see her again. “Marry me, Suzy.”
“What about the
one week…”
“Let me stay
longer,” he said cutting her off. “Let me stay…forever.”
They heard a
knock then the sound of a door opening.
CHAPTER
45
“Hello? Sue?”
came a cautious female voice.
“What are you
doing here? You’re supposed to be at school,” Sue said to her younger sister,
Mai Yia.
“I wanted to see
you. I saw the report about your marriage. I figured you’d be home,” Mai said,
closing the door and taking off her boots. “So how are you? You look like
you’ve been crying?”
“I’m fine.”
“Uh-huh,” Mai
replied, not sounding convinced. She was still watching her sister as she hung
up her coat in the closet. “Well, could’ve fooled me. Did you turn your phone
off? Your message box is full by the way. Couldn’t leave you more messages, but
I did text you. Didn’t you get my text?”
Sue shook her
head no.
“Anyhoo, did you
know that Dad’s been trying to get a hold of you?” Mai continued. “He couldn’t
get a hold of you so he called me and yelled at me,” Mai said, briefly hugging
Sue before heading straight for the kitchen.
Sue and Mai were
the only two members of their family that hugged. It was awkward hugging her
brothers and her eldest sister. In fact, besides Sue, Mai didn’t hug her family
at all. It wasn’t just awkward, it wasn’t done. They hardly showed affection
for each other beyond the polite greetings. They didn’t hug growing up and it
just seemed uncomfortable for them. Except for Sue and Mai. They were closer
even though Sue was six years older than Mai. In a way, Sue had helped raise
Mai and the two had formed a bond that was stronger between them than with any
of their family members.
They were a close
family, just not in the sense of the word as in American culture. In a family
of six kids, they were considered big by their white neighbors and small by
their Hmong community. They were close because they grew up together in a
three-bedroom, modest house on the border of ghetto and suburbia St. Paul. Walk
in one direction and the houses were well-kept, yards were cleaned and children
played with doors unlocked. Walk in another direction and the scene was
completely opposite.
The boys shared a
room and the girls shared a room. There was no room for privacy, except on
those rare days when Mai was sick and stayed home from school. That was the
only time she remembered having any kind of privacy. They loved each other.
Family was very important and Mai often heard the saying, “blood is thicker
than water.”
In many ways, the
saying was true. She knew that if anyone was to harm her, her siblings and
everyone in the family would step up to right the wrong. The difference was
that they never said, “I love you.” In Hmong it was, “
kuv hlub koj
.” To
Mai, the phrase was mostly used for lovers, not for family members and in many
ways, when said in Hmong, Mai felt cheesy. She had never said, “
kuv hlub koj
”
to anyone, not even to Lucky, the young man she thought she once madly loved.
To her sister, it was always, “love ya,” but never “
kuv hlub koj
.”
“How did you get
home?” Sue asked.
“Oh, uh, Jess
gave me a ride.”
“Mai, there’s a
snowstorm pending, are you planning on returning to campus by tomorrow? I don’t
want you skipping classes.”
“I know, I know.
Like I said, I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. Gaotah and Jess will be
picking me up later, all right. I’ll make it to class tomorrow. Don’t worry.”
Mai opened the fridge and took out a pop to go along with the bag of chips she
took from the cabinet. She opened her pop and placed a chip in her mouth,
chewing. “Where’s
koj tus txiv
? (Where’s your husband?)” Mai casually
asked, taking a drink of her pop.
“You’ll meet
him,” Sue said simply, not surprised that their father would call Mai. Through
the years, most of the communication Sue had with her family had been through
Mai. Mai was the one who passed on what people would say to Sue or about Sue.
If not for Mai, Sue would and could go for years without contact with her
family.
“Where is he?”
Mai asked with searching eyes. She was nervous and excited about meeting Khyba,
wondering if he was as cute as he appeared in videos and in pictures. After
watching his dramas, she had obsessively searched for him on the Web. His music
video
Vows
was viewed constantly by her. She wondered if Sue knew all
those times Mai was watching his videos, they were of her husband. Then again,
she wouldn’t be surprised if Sue was oblivious about Khyba. Sue never cared
much and didn’t bother so Mai guessed that Sue probably didn’t know about Khyba
or how big he was. Just then her eyes fell upon Khyba emerging from her
sister’s bedroom, looking like a deity.
“Hello,” Jae
greeted Mai as he approached Sue from behind. Sue didn’t turn to look at him.
She was still looking at her sister, watching the way Mai was looking at Jae.
“Jae, this is my
sister, Mai Yia. Mai, Jae,” Sue said. Jae placed a kiss on Sue’s temple and
wrapped an arm around her shoulder.
“Hi,” Mai
croaked, blushing.
“You must be the
pretty one,” Jae said with a grin.
Mai giggled and
Sue smiled at her sister’s reaction to Jae. Mai was beautiful and flirty, which
got her into trouble often with the opposite sex. Sue turned to Jae and said,
“You’re going to make her faint if you keep looking at her like that.”
Sue kneeled down
in front of her backpack in search of her cell phone. She couldn’t remember if
she had turned it off or if it was out of batteries or if she simply set it on
silent and didn’t hear any incoming calls. “My phone was dead,” Sue said and
proceeded to charge her phone.
Sue made her way
to the living room where Jae was in the process of turning on her laptop
computer when a knock sounded at the door. The building was supposed to be
secured and only residents had keys to the outside doors. Visitors could only
enter either by key or by intercom. Besides herself, only Mai had keys. “Who is
it?” Sue called out to her visitor.
“Cherry,” a woman
called back.
“Cherry?” Sue
asked, more to herself. At the name, Jae was off the couch and in quick strides
was standing behind her as she opened the door.
Cherry Yuki
Sanada was an heiress and a member of one of Japan’s most prestigious family,
the Sanadas. Tall with long, straight, waist black hair and an oval face,
Cherry was a beautiful woman. Her almond shaped eyes, prominent nose, and
perfectly shaped brows added to her allure. Men lusted after her and women
envied her. She had everything: money, prestige, beauty. She had
everything…except Khyba.
Cherry, the
beautiful one, the lucky one. People often commented, “Why Cherry, you are as
beautiful as cherry blossoms in spring!” “Why Cherry, you inherited your
mother’s good looks and your father’s charm!” All her life she had heard the
same comments. All her life she had gotten everything she ever wanted. At
twenty-five, she wanted Khyba.
For five years,
Cherry had worked to obtain Khyba. On her insistence, her brother, Hiro, hired
him to be a spokesman for his clothing line, HEAT. Cherry turned down jobs just
so she could work alongside Khyba. She made sure her photo shoots for HEAT were
always scheduled with him. She believed that with time, Khyba would come to
love her as much as she loves him.
Cherry stole many
kisses from Khyba. During photo shoots, Cherry would accidently trip and landed
in his arms or gave him a kiss on his cheeks just as photographers took pictures.
One time, Cherry kissed him on the mouth. That was a long time ago when she
thought she could have anyone and anything she wanted.
Through the
years, Cherry had come to love him and she couldn’t accept that he was married.
The public loved them. Cherry and Khyba were practically a couple in the public
eye, how could he just get married? She refused to see that Khyba had always
treated her like he treated her sister, Apple. While everyone teased and joked
about Apple Juce Sanada, Khyba didn’t. And that only made Cherry love him even
more.
Cherry was
furiously jealous as she looked at the man she loved, standing so carefree in
sweats with untamed hair, in the company of another woman. Not just any woman,
she reminded herself. Why couldn’t he be like that with her? Why couldn’t he
just give her a chance?
Why
?
“Hello,” Cherry
greeted in English. Thanks to her pie fanatic parents and their infatuation
with Americans, Cherry was fluent in English.
“Hello,” greeted
Sue and Khyba.
Khyba stood
beside Sue, guarding her as if Cherry was going to attack. Cherry felt
insulted.
“Come in,” Sue
invited.
Cherry couldn’t
help but envy the way Khyba took hold of Sue’s arms and gently guided her out
of the door way to allow Cherry entrance into the apartment.
When Jae took too
long to commence introductions, Sue said, “Hi, I’m Sue Thao. You must be Cherry
Sanada?”
Cherry nodded.
Things happened
slowly afterwards. There was awkwardness between the three of them. Shortly
after, Michael arrived and made things even more awkward. Cherry wanted to talk
to Jae privately so Sue invited Michael to go to the library with her and Mai.
“Is Khyber your
son then?” Michael asked while they sat at the indoor café outside of the
library in Woodbury. Mai was in the library pretending to study.
“Yes, he was.”
“Was?”
“I lost him at
seven months gestation.”
“Will you tell me
what happened?”
Sue told Michael.
It was still hard to talk about Khyber but she felt Michael deserved an answer.
And she told him about Jae. “Though Jae and I are not bounded legally, I did
take vows and this little heart of mine has not grasped the concept of letting
go.”
“What happens to
your little heart after this week is over? You really think you’ll be able to
say goodbye without getting hurt?”
“I’m not a
teenager anymore, Michael. And I certainly don’t need judgment from you.”
“I’m well aware
of that.”
“Why did you come
to Minnesota?”
Michael shrugged.
“I thought perhaps you and I could get a chance. I guess I was wrong.”
“You flatter me,
Mr. McHeney. Had the circumstances been different, you’d have hardly noticed
me, while I would have probably clung to you like a faithful shadow.”
Michael smiled.
“Cling to me, huh? And what makes you think I wouldn’t notice you?”
“You thought I
was a teenager when we first met. The woman you met in New York is not the
woman that I am. I don’t always wear my hair down or dress to go out. On good
days, I have my hair brushed and dressed for the day. Most of the time, you’ll
see me in scrubs.”
“I like a woman
in scrubs. The image conjures all sorts of fantasy.”
Sue cocked an
eyebrow.
“Ah, come on.
Give me more credit than that, Sue. I’m not that shallow. I don’t just fall for
any pretty face.”
“I’m not saying
you’re shallow. I’m just saying had the circumstances been different, you and I
would never have met.”
“I’m not blind,
Sue. I don’t go peacocking for nothing you know. Had you clung to me like a
faithful shadow, I’m pretty sure I would have noticed you.” Michael said,
grinning.
Sue laughed. “Of
course you’d notice me then; I’d be preventing you from peacocking to your full
advantage.”
“Peacock.”
Michael grimaced. “I’m still wondering why you called me a peacock. I would
have accepted lion or eagle…heck, I’d take flying monkey, but peacock?”
“Peacocking might
be the wrong term to describe your display of male egotism. My apologies. I’m
guessing many people don’t get to see you often without your expensive clothes
and your flashy cars? You enjoy the outdoors. You love your family and filled
your walls with pictures of them. You designed your home for comfort, for a
family, yet you display the image of a bachelor who couldn’t care less about
having a family of his own. Why is that?”
“Is this your
preamble to asking about Judith?”
“You did say you
would tell me about Judith if I opened up about Khyber.”
“Touché.” Michael
sighed and slumped in his chair before beginning. “Judith and I met in high
school. After college, I just assumed she wanted what I want so I proposed. We
were engaged for a long time until about five months ago, when she decided I
was not the person for her.”
“And how did she
make that decision?” Sue asked after Michael didn’t go any farther.