Second Chances (16 page)

"She's adorable and all kids can be a handful." Karina flushed, belatedly remembering that she had far less experience than he did. A quick glance at his amused expression showed her that he'd noticed that point too, but wisely kept quiet on the subject.

"We'll take it slow and see how it goes."

Later that night, Karina watched from her patio doors as Brian walked out along the beach.

There were major advantages to this new arrangement; living in Brian's house was one of them. On waterfront property located just outside the city, the spacious home had stone fireplaces, high ceilings and skylights that lit the hallways. She even loved the luxury of having her own balcony.

What was Brian thinking about? In truth, he looked satisfied, smug even. Just what did that mean? Then again, why shouldn't he be—he'd gotten everything his way. Well, maybe not everything. She was here in the spare room, not in his bed.

A fact that Cat laughed at and Serena understood. They both approved of the new living arrangements, too.

She wished she knew where she stood with him—and where she was going. Did he know where they were headed? If not—why the hell not? Someone in this relationship needed to know and it sure as hell wasn't her.

It was stupid to wish that this relationship could progress normally, not to be confused or accelerated through danger, misguided guilt or his protective instinct. She sighed in disgust. Who was she kidding? Since when had this relationship ever been normal? Certainly not in the beginning, when she'd jumped into bed with him right away, all-too-willing to help him forget his ex-girlfriend. Still, time healed many things and maybe they needed to focus on what they did have.

Yet, living together was convenient—too convenient. And although she didn't want to be casual lovers, once passion flared, she'd take him any way she could.

Chelsea was another consideration. She was a special little girl. Karina had never known a connection quite like it before. She'd always thought that when the time was right, she'd marry and have a family of her own. Now she couldn't help but think that if she married Brian she'd get Chelsea too.

***

The next morning, Brian drove Karina to the store, where a surprised-looking Susan watched from behind the front display window.

"Did you spend the night with him?" Susan whispered loudly, glancing at the pair of customers browsing nearby.

"Good morning to you, too." Karina grinned. "Yes, actually, I did. But not in the way you think." Quickly, she explained the events of the last twenty-four hours.

"Good, I approve. I worried all weekend, but I didn't know how I could help," Susan said.

"I explained the situation briefly to Sandra last night. However, Brian was waiting so there wasn't much time. I thought maybe I'd have coffee with her, today."

"Give her a call now and set it up," Susan suggested.

The morning passed quickly. Karina finally looked up from her current task and saw Sandra looking for her.

"Hi. Sorry, it's been crazy in here. I forgot about the time."

"Not a problem. You ready to go?" It didn't take long to get to one of their newfound favorite coffee spots. Once they bought coffee and took their cups to a table, Sandra pinned her with the inquisitive eye. "So. Where did you sleep last night?"

"I slept in the spare room, of course." Karina laughed. "Just because I'm in his house, doesn't mean that I want to move into his bed just yet."

Sandra gave her a bemused smile. "Sure you do. But you don't want to seem too eager."

Karina started as realization flooded through her. "I want it all," she announced simply. "I want to marry him, have his children and grow old together. It scares me to death." Karina stared at her bright-red fingernails intently, but they weren't giving her the answers to her problems. "Maybe I'm asking for too much."

"Never." Sandra shook her head, her voice gentle but firm. "If that's what you want then don't let yourself be shortchanged."

"I know he cares, but to what extent?"

"Maybe it's time to ask him that question." Sandra nodded toward the doorway. Brian was walking through the glass doors and heading toward them.

Karina beamed at him. "What a nice surprise."

Brian dropped a kiss on her cheek. "Ladies. Do you mind if I join you?"

He reached for a spare chair from a neighboring table, but Sandra jumped up and offered hers.

"I have to get back anyway as I'm running late." She gave Karina a meaningful look. "Remember what I said." With a smile for Brian, Sandra was gone.

Brian ordered a coffee then turned to look at her, but stayed quiet.

"Okay, what's wrong?" Karina asked. "You only go silent when there's something that you don't want to tell me."

"Do you know me that well already?"

"Yes, I think so. So what's up?" She searched his face, looking for any hint of what bothered him.

"I spoke to Officer Markham this morning."

Dread knotted in her stomach. "And?" she asked, carefully.

"They found out where Ian's been staying. Unfortunately, there's no sign that he's been there in the last few days."

"What're they doing about it?"

"They're still looking for him. However, he's getting better at covering his tracks. The longer Ian can stay hidden, the better chance he has at improving his situation. Crooks, if they don't get caught early on, end up building an impressive arsenal of skills to evade capture."

"It's a horrible thought, isn't it?" She stared down at her own coffee cup, unable to hold back the shiver rippling down her spine. Horrible to consider Ian getting better at this stuff. He was too damn good now.

"Yes. Markham also said you can go back but he recommends you stay at my place until they can locate Ian."

Karina propped her elbows on the table, staring at him across the way. Damn, the man was gorgeous. And damn her for being an idiot for particularly noticing it at a time like this. She forced her brain away from studying his serious face and back to the questions at hand. "When will our lives get back to normal?"

"What's normal?" he asked, his face lightening slightly with humor. "Think about our relationship so far. There's no normal in there."

"So when can I stop being afraid?"

"You mean, when can you move back home? How about never?" He took a sip of coffee, studying her reaction over the top of the mug.

She shook her and snorted. "Quit joking. You know you don't mean that. The longer we're caught up in this drama the less real our own situation becomes."

"Our relationship is what we make of it." He put down his mug and leaned forward. "It's going to change and grow
with
us. This can bring us closer or we can allow it to destroy us."

Brian reached across the table to cradle her hand in his much larger one. He traced the outline of her fingers with his roughened ones. Shivers slipped over her spine as she watched, mesmerized.

"Let's give
us
a chance, Karina. To see what might be."

She listened intently, searching for hidden meanings, wanting to understand the emotion behind the words. He was always so contained. She wanted to shake him out of that control.

He tried again. "I know I can't change the past. But we aren't the same people we were back then." he countered instantly. He looked closer at her, his half smile vanishing as his forehead creased. "You still aren't sure we have more than a one night stand, are you?"

"It's hard. The past keeps intruding, like a living reminder. But I want…need more." She bowed her head, staring fixedly at their clasped hands.

"Look at me, sweetheart."

She raised her head and stared into his eyes, searching. Confusion melted away as understanding rushed in. Flames of barely-controlled desire danced in his dark eyes. He'd loosened the reins just enough to show her the need riding his soul.

Karina was entranced. Wryly, she also acknowledged that she was responding, helplessly caught in the mesmerizing hold of a hunter eyeing his prey.

"Brian?" Her voice trembled under the waves of heat emanating from the splendid male across from her.

"Now do you believe?" His voice was gritty with the pain of barely restrained desire. Steel threaded his voice as he reinforced his message. "This is real. As real as it gets. But it's up to us to take it to the next level."

She couldn't find any desire to argue. It was true. She was his and he was hers.

"Why are you waiting then?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"I want you to want me just as badly. To come to me knowing that you can't wait another moment to be in my arms." He lowered his voice so deep, it resonated up and down her spine. "I need this to be your decision. To trust that I will be there in the morning. That I will be there for you."

"And if I said that I was ready now?" Yet, she dropped her eyes, not able to stare into those knowing, bottomless depths.

"Then you'd burn as badly as I am. But you're still a little scared. Uncertain. I only want you to take that step when you're ready and not a moment before."

He lifted her hand. Gently carrying it to his lips, he tenderly dropped kisses on her knuckles. "I don't want you in my bed for one night or two, I want everything that you have to give."

His words echoed endlessly in her mind for the rest of the afternoon. They took on a life of their own, warming her thoughts, tugging at her heart and steaming through her body. A part of her was furious at him and at herself. Damn it, why wasn't she ready?

Susan just laughed at her.

"Am I glad Paul and I are well past that stage. Why don't you just crawl into his bed and seduce him? I'm sure he wouldn't object." Karina just scoffed. "Like any man is going to object. He's right, you know. My life has changed so quickly in so many areas. I'm still reeling and need a little time to adjust. Foolish maybe, but I don't want to make a mistake. This thing between us is too big." And last time she'd slept with him she'd been hurt unbearably, making her cautious in this one area of her life. In all other aspects she was like Max the puppy. Leaping in with abandon and joy. But in this area she was like her cats, hiding in the closet.

"I can understand that." Susan smiled contentedly.

"So, why don't you go home tonight and seduce Paul yourself? Meet him at the doorway in a negligee—or even less—and make love to him there in the hallway, before dinner," she said. "You could have the kids go to Sandra's and give Paul a treat."

Susan immediately blushed, but looked intrigued at the thought. Finally, she shook her head. "No. Paul would be shocked."

"So?" Karina countered. "Shake him up a bit. Imagine if he saw how you were changing yourself." A mischievous grin curved her lips upward. "You never know, you might get to like it."

Susan laughed softly and shook her head. "We'll see, but I make no promises."

It was late when Brian finally arrived to pick Karina up. She was exhausted and irritable. All she wanted was to go home and put her feet up for the rest of the evening. Damn, but she was tired. But then how long did she expect to survive with no sleep? It was next to impossible to get a decent night's rest with Ian invading her nightmares and Brian invading her dreams. She slouched farther into the cushioned seat and closed her eyes. "I need my car. I want my independence."

"I don't want you travelling alone. Let's just play it safe a little longer." Brian punched a button on the dash. Soothing jazz filled the car.

Karina slept the whole way home only waking as the car rolled to a stop.

Still sleepy, she shifted and stretched, easing her back into a more normal curve. She moaned in pleasure as her muscles loosened up. Slowly, she let her head gently loll from side to side, finally letting it drop back peacefully against the headrest. She sighed contentedly.

Stark silence filled the car.

She opened her eyes to look at Brian. The shadows in the car played over his face, highlighting the sexual tension radiating off him. Glittering black eyes stared at her. His nostrils flared and he looked on the edge of losing something. His control.

God, she loved that. She uncrossed her legs slowly, letting her knees fall apart. His eyes followed perfectly. Wonderful. She was just in the mood to push him. She smoothed one red nail slowly up his thigh, then a little higher, stopping briefly at his belt. His breath caught and then started again as she kept moving.

The devil inside made her ask, "Are you coming, Brian?"

He closed his eyes, his jaw tight with tension. His voice hoarse, he asked, "Where does this woman come from? She hides and then pops up at the oddest times."

"She's part of me. Today some magical combination teased her into coming out. Maybe it was finding out that she's wanted, desperately."