Second Chances (37 page)

“I think you ought to realise you’ve a big enough heart for both of us.”

“But do you want to be there? Should you be? There’s still a shit load of emotional baggage I’m carrying inside.”

“Don’t we all? Call me naive but that’s part of living, isn’t it?”

Miles smiled and traced the edge of Gil’s mouth with the tip of his finger. “All I know is that when I look at you, my knees turn to jelly, and I’ve had to struggle against this overwhelming urge to reach out and touch you all the time.” His fingers shifted to the edge of Gil’s jaw, relishing the opportunity to feel the soft bristles and know that Gil didn’t mind his caresses, seemed to accept his touch. Those brown eyes were shining up at him now, the softness of the unguarded expression, making his fingers tremble.

“Then don’t stop yourself,” Gil said gently, covering Miles’ hand with his own. “Perhaps…we could add a few new memories to those photos then?”

“As many as you like.” Miles moved forward as Gil opened his legs further and let their bodies touch. A jolt ran through him from the point of contact, sparking off a chain reaction, threatening to break all the restraints he’d placed on himself ever since their one night together. The lock on his heart had broken a long time ago, even though he hadn’t acknowledged the fact, or been willing to admit the truth. Miles leaned in and kissed Gil properly, trying to show Gil how he felt even if he didn’t have the words to tell him yet.

This time, Gil surrendered completely. Actions spoke louder than words ever could. He let his body react to the proximity of the man who had captured him, heart and mind, body and soul. It was all at once like tumbling off a precipice at the same time as being safe and warm… confusing and yet completely natural, as inevitable as breathing. He opened his mouth to the kisses, his uninjured hand sliding up Miles’ neck to hold him there.

Miles cradled Gil’s head and carefully lowered him so his back rested on the table, taking care to avoid further injuring his arm. Then he pulled away and stood up straight, his gaze never breaking with Gil’s as his hands slid all over Gil’s naked chest: warming the skin, sensing the rapid beat of his heart under his palm, feeling the nipples peak and twitch under the attention of his thumb; tracing in his mind the essence of the man who just admitted he loved him. When he was satisfied he had the image fully mapped, he leaned over and let his mouth and tongue follow where his fingers had led as if they had pointed out to him the best places to visit, the places to kiss, the places to worship. Gil groaned as Miles took one hard nub into his mouth and sucked. Hard.

Arching his back beneath Miles’ ministrations, Gil submitted completely to the warmth of his touch and the hot mouth on his sensitive skin. He opened his eyes, seeing the vast vault of stars above them both, thousands of tiny pinpricks of illumination unmarred by the light pollution that he would have seen back home. Out here, they were hundreds of miles from civilisation, just the two of them. Gil slid his good hand up behind Miles’ neck and dragged him back again, sealing his lips over the doctor’s in a searching kiss. His tongue begged entry and swiped along Miles’ bottom lip, tasting the man. Gil slipped his hand down Miles’ chest, trailing through the hair, nails raking gently across the skin, making his presence felt. He slid his hand further, felt the cool cotton of the native skirt Miles was wearing. He let his fingers curl and squeezed gently. He was rewarded with a moan and he slid the same hand around the back, pulling Miles closer.

Miles knees threatened to give way. This was all too much again, he felt what little control he had splintering away each time Gil touched him. Memories of rutting like a stag during their last encounter when Gil was fit and healthy surfaced. Miles groaned. He couldn’t do this. He pulled back, needing to put space between them before his body took over. “I can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

“Control myself around you.”

“Then don’t. Miles, why do you hold back? What makes you think I don’t want this?”

“You saw what it was like between us last time, before we left Haven Falls. Rough. The actions of a man out of control. I’m just scared of hurting you. Afterward, I was ashamed of the way I’d fucked you. I want to make love to you, not shag you like I did back then.”

Gil laughed. “Miles, I am not made of porcelain, I won’t break. Sure, I may be a little damaged, but I’m on the mend. I wish you wouldn’t be so…I don’t know, so worried you’ll do something wrong.”

“Well, just stop me if I do.” Miles pressed soft kisses on Gil’s chest, working his way down to the junction of skin and boxer shorts where Gil’s erection pushed the material up, leaving a gap for his tongue to investigate. Using his teeth, he worked the button undone and peeled the opening away so he could access Gil’s straining cock.

Gil let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in anticipation. He was so hard he ached. He lay back, loosening the tension in his shoulders, allowing Miles freedom to do what he wanted. It just felt so good to be so… what, loved? Did Miles really love him in return? Gil found he didn’t care. For the moment, the doctor was the one doing the caring.

Miles worked his way down, letting the hard shaft brush against his cheeks as he lathed the skin in Gil’s groin. The musky scent went straight to his own dick and he had to prevent himself from snuffling like a pig as he worked his way around to Gil’s scrotum. A single drop of pre-cum glistened at the tip. Miles licked it off, slowly savouring the taste, and then returned to his nuzzling of Gil’s balls, taking first one, then the other into his mouth. He was rewarded by a gasp this time. Last time, everything had been so quick, so intense that he hadn’t had time to really appreciate anything. He’d been so desperate, almost panicked that it might have been his one and only chance with Gil. Now he wanted to go slow and take his time, enjoy the man, enjoy the sex. He pressed the testicle gently against the roof of his mouth and hummed to himself. He could get addicted to this. They didn’t have lube or condoms with them, so he couldn’t do much more than give him a blow job, but tonight that would be enough.

A soft groan made its way into Miles’ consciousness. He reluctantly relinquished the soft ball from his mouth and pulled back to look at Gil. “Are we still on the same page?” The breath caught in his throat at the soft smile resting on the young man’s lips.

“Never mind the same page, I’m not on the same planet…” Gil moaned softly. “For God’s sake, Miles, don’t stop now…”

“I won’t, don’t worry.” Miles leaned back down and wrapped his lips around the head of Gil’s cock. Something settled inside when he did. Something that said this is right, this is what he needs, this is what you need. It was like a voice speaking to him, not Darren’s although he felt as if Darren was sitting on his shoulder, enjoying the moment as much as he was. This time there was no guilt, no anxiety, no need to rush.

He drew the hard length deeper inside, sucking hard, gaining another groan from Gil. His own cock pulsed with each beat of his heart. He reached under the fold of his native skirt and gave his hard aching shaft a reassuring stroke before returning to caress Gil’s skin, revelling in the feel of that soft smoothness under his calloused palm.

If he was being honest with himself, it was Gil’s youth and strength that also touched a chord inside, obliterating all memories of sickness and frailty.
“Stop beating yourself over the head with guilt, Miles. Enjoy him.”
Miles glanced up, but Gil’s eyes were shut as he lay back on the hard surface, his face relaxed, blissful. No, it had been Darren’s soft New England drawl in his head, not Gil’s more clipped British tones. Miles sighed and returned to the task in hand. He’d arrived at Redemption Reef both hoping and fearing a younger, healthy version of his late husband would miraculously appear. Once he’d accepted the fact that Darren would never be there in person, he’d discovered that in a way he was still present. He hadn’t been kidding when he told Gil that Darren remained locked in his heart, but that he’d moved aside to allow the younger man in.

Miles smiled as Gil gave a soft moan; the sound turning him on just as much as the feel of the hard length in his mouth. He loved the fact that Gil was a demonstrative lover, that he was not afraid of letting him hear and know how he felt. The tip of Gil’s cock brushed the back of his throat and, for a second, the involuntary gag reflex made Miles pause, but then he relaxed into the moment and let the length slide further down. He swallowed.

Somewhere in the recesses of Gil’s mind, beyond the pleasure he was experiencing as Miles’ talented tongue took him closer to the precipice, he realised something. He hadn’t given a second’s thought to Simon. In the past, even after they had split so acrimoniously, Gil had found himself considering how Simon would view something or what he would think. It had taken him a long time to realise how much influence the pedantic bastard had over him, how much he had still governed his thoughts and feelings even after he had gone. Miles, though, in his own sweet way, had broken through that conditioning. Just as Darren had moved aside to allow room for Gil, Gil had thrown Simon completely out of the equation to let Miles in to his heart. He felt freer than he had in a long time. Never mind Gil weaselling into Miles’ heart, Miles had done his own fair share of weaselling in return. Gil couldn’t imagine not having the doctor in his life now. He was glad he didn’t have to imagine it. He had no idea where life would take them, but he had a good idea it would be interesting and fulfilling. Gil reached down and found Miles’ hair beneath his fingers .

Miles felt a tentative touch on his head as he bobbed up and down, sucking hard as he drew Gil in, using his tongue, savoring the drops of pre-cum leaking from the tip. God, he loved this. Loved being able to give another man pleasure, loved to hear him moan. Gil’s body jerked under his touch, so he soothed it with stronger caresses. This wasn’t about control, this wasn’t even about the sex. This was about showing Gil that he cared.

Lost in the moment, Gil felt the slow build, the pressure and fullness at the base of his cock. He arched his back, scrabbled to gain purchase for his fingers on the table’s edge. This was amazing; not as intense as their previous encounter but altogether more fulfilling. It promised more, much more. Gil reached the point of no return with a long drawn-out groan and his fingers fisted in Miles’ hair as he came. Gasping for air, eyes wide, he rode the waves of pleasure that wouldn’t let him go. An impossibly long time later he opened his eyes on the stars above, breathing hard and trying to bring his fast-beating heart under control again.

It took a while before Gil realized that Miles had stopped, was licking his lips like a satisfied cat that had found cream. He was grinning at the reaction he had managed to elicit, watching Gil’s face with something like amusement. He bent down and licked a stripe up Gil’s skin from the base of his cock to his navel, feeling the young man shiver under the touch.

A shadow moved behind Miles, a shadow which blotted out the stars. Gil’s first thought was Darren? He couldn’t help the cry of surprise that intruded on the afterglow of pleasure.

Miles stopped, startled by Gil’s reaction. His tongue still resting in Gil’s navel, Miles glanced up at Gil’s face. Was that regret? Gil wasn’t looking at him. His gaze was fixed on something behind him. No, Gil wasn’t objecting to what he was doing. That was some other emotion in his eyes. Miles stood and turned.

“Lucas! What the fuck are you doing here?”

Gideon Sterling, Lyle Tate (and a few others who get in Gideon’s way…)

___________________________________________________

Mystery Island, 12th February

“Good morning,
Mr
Sterling.” As always Sandra Pierce never failed to address him with slight emphasis on the mister, as if to remind him he held no military rank here on Mystery. He forced a smile and offered her a seat.

“Ms Pierce. Always a pleasure. How are you this morning?”

“As you ask, I have to say I’m disappointed that things are not moving faster. The ship is delayed and the builders seem to be on a go-slow….” He tuned her out as she sat there listing her grievances. He might challenge her one day to find something she actually liked, if only to prove she wasn’t the cold-hearted insensitive ice-queen he thought she was. Then again, he’d better not hold his breath. In his opinion Narnia had gotten the better deal.

“I’m sorry to hear things aren’t going to your satisfaction. Afraid there’s nothing we can do to hasten the ship’s arrival. It’s pretty much in the hands of the Gods—”

“Screw that,” she said inelegantly. “It’s that bloody idiot of a captain. If he hadn’t answered that distress call, they’d be with us by now. I’m expecting a delivery, and I’m not happy about the wait. It should have been picked up when you took the plane to Eidolon base, but it wasn’t collected.”

“Damned inconvenient.” Gideon had a burning desire to ask her if it wasn’t what they were supposed to be doing, rescuing people and providing disaster relief, but remained silent. It wasn’t worth it. One day, though, he’d take great pleasure in telling her to stuff it. Nothing he did was ever right.

Pierce rose to her feet, bristling. He knew by her body language that she suspected he was winding her up, and he had her off-balance as a result. She must be itching to tell him off.
Stuff that in your pipe and smoke it, my dear
, he thought, and smiled disarmingly. “I won’t keep you any longer,” he said, rising and shadowing her to the door. “I’m sure you’re very busy.” She nodded, once, and swept out. Gideon breathed a mental sigh of relief and went back to his desk, intent on finishing the forms he had been checking.