Second Chances (76 page)

Gabriel’s fist formed uncontrollably as the urge to strike out at his father welled within him.  “Our first real date,” he said severely.  “She told me about her children on our first date.”  He collapsed on the couch remembering it.  “She told me they come first.  She told me that she would never love a man over them.”  He held his head in his hands now.  “And father,” he looked up at the man he now loathed.  “We never made love.”

“Oh that’s worse.  She held that over your head to convince you to marry her!  Oh, it is all clear now.  She is just another gold digger.  She just needs you for money.”

“No!” Gabriel shouted enraged.  Then weakly, he continued, “No.  She doesn’t need me, not financially.  She doesn’t care about these material things.  You saw her.  She wouldn’t take anything, not one of the many things I’ve bought her.  She said they weren’t hers because she hadn’t paid for them.”  He stopped, covered his eyes for a moment and then glanced at his father with glistening eyes.  “It is me she loves, or,” he choked on the words, “loved.  You have it all wrong.  She doesn’t need me.”  He paused and sighed.  “It is I who need her.”

“No you don’t,” Mr. Charmant snapped, alarmed at his son’s behavior.  “You’re better off without her.  Here,” he said gruffly, standing and passing his son the bottle of wine he had intended as a celebration of the magazine spread.  “I guess you are really going to need this now.”  He dropped the magazine on the coffee table and with that, left the apartment.

Gabriel took a moment to compose himself.  Then he remembered Maggie.  She had quietly crept back into the apartment and had been waiting ever since in her room.  She must be anxious for her money.  He had written the check yesterday, but never delivered it.  He glanced up, preparing to go to her, but instead found her leaning against a column watching him, shaking her head.

“Oh, Mr. Gabriel,” she moaned, “what have you done?  Um um um, what have you done?”

The kids were asleep by the time Isabella reached her barn.  It looked cold and empty, but it might just be because that was how she felt.  She carried first one child and then the other up the flight of stairs to their bedrooms.  It had been ten months since she had had to do this, and they had grown significantly since then.

She stood in her living room and looked around helplessly.  For the first time in a long time she had no idea what to do with herself, no sense of purpose.  She looked on the calendar, hoping to see some sign that she had a life to lead apart from Gabriel’s, but no, the weekends were always his.  She glanced at the phone.  When they were apart, he called.  She toyed with calling Jessie, but couldn’t muster the strength.  Again she looked at the date.  There was something she should remember about this date.

April first.  Oh no.  Why did all the most terrible occurrences in her life seem to happen on this date?  One year ago today she found her husband and her sister together and her life was irreversibly changed.  She fell apart soon after, fell apart because she feared the emptiness that his leaving meant.  And now, by loving Gabriel, she had opened herself to the same pain.  Only this pain would be worse since he had never hurt her before, not even a little.  This pain would leave an unspeakable emptiness, as she didn’t know how to be without him.  Jack had given her years of practice.  Resigning herself to a life of solitude, Isabella trudged upstairs and went to bed.

In Montreal, Gabriel laid awake in bed.  He looked at the vacant side of the bed, the side where Isabella should at this very moment be resting her lovely head.  He would hold her, stroke her, kiss her and cuddle her.  Always he would long for more, long to truly make her his, but would hold back, knowing she would let him know when it was right. 

He rolled over, but that, too, was no good for now he stared at the phone that he should be using to call Isabella and tuck her in long distance.   They had been doing that for...ten months.  Was it only ten months?  He tried, but couldn’t remember his life without her.  He tried to picture his future, but there was no future imaginable without Isabella in it.

Laughing, he thought,
you fool.  How could you allow yourself to love a woman that much?
  But this was Bella he was talking about.  How could he not love her?

The weeks passed, slowly, painfully.  At first Isabella feared the phone ringing.  Still hurt and angry, she didn’t know how she would react if she heard from him.  Then a new nagging fear entered her mind, the fear of Gabriel never calling again. 

Rebecca and Kyle were also feeling the loss.  The first Friday, Rebecca carried down a bag overflowing with toys and games.  “I want to bring this with us,” she announced.

Isabella had been frozen in her spot.  “We’re not going,” she managed.

“Oh,” Rebecca said excitedly.  “So Gabriel is coming here?”

“Not this weekend,” Isabella answered quietly.

And Rebecca, sensing that the subject made her mother sad, stopped asking questions that might add to her mother’s pain. 

Isabella had no idea how to fill all of the quiet time she now had.  She could only take so many photographs, develop so many negatives, and work on her gallery show for so long.  The show seemed hollow now without Gabriel to share it with.  At some point she must venture forth into the world.  She had shut herself off at first, unable to face people who had once seen her so happy, so completely over Jack.  The struggle to get over Gabriel wouldn’t be nearly so simple.  Every day she faced indescribable loneliness and an aching awareness of the void in her chest that once contained her heart.  So now, three weeks later, Isabella still labored to fill her weekends with activity.  As long as she kept busy, she didn’t have to think.  On Thursday she and Jessie had made plans for the day Saturday.

“Let’s go to the spa,” Isabella announced.

“The spa?”  Jessie asked incredulously.  They hadn’t been to the spa together in quite some time.  Gabriel had been taking care of all of Isabella’s beauty needs.

“Yup,” Isabella responded, trying to act happy.  “You know, now that I’m on the market again I need to look my best.”  She tried to make a joke of it, but Jessie saw through the laughter to the deep pain within.

“Why don’t you call him?”  She asked quietly almost afraid to broach the subject.

Isabella looked down.  “Because he should call me.  I left.  It’s his duty to call.”  She whirled around on The Turtle’s bar stool.  “Only now,” she mumbled, “it’s too late to call.”  She tried to brighten again.  “So, how about it?  Spa Saturdays again?”

While Isabella de-stressed at the spa, Gabriel received a visit from his friends.  “Gabe,” Matty said with concern, “we’re worried about you.  What’s going on?  No one has heard from you or seen you in weeks.  Where’s Isabella?”

The group marched into the living room. 
The place was immaculate, barely looking lived in.  And somehow, even though it looked as it always had, the apartment lacked the warmth it had when Isabella inhabited it.

Sebastian walked over to the door he believed to belong to the storage area.  With nothing left to hide, the door now remained open.  Gabriel didn’t move, but sat there patiently while Sebastian studied the contents and emitted a low whistle.  “Oh my God,” he said with obvious wicked delight.  “Come here,” he called to his friends.  “You have got to see this.”

One by one the guys filed off the couches to visit the mysterious room.  All of them began murmuring low ‘whoas.’  Ben lingered, the last to move.  He studied Gabriel and mouthed ‘kids’ room.’  Gabriel nodded.

“Whose room is that?”  Sebastian asked.

Wordlessly, Gabriel took out his wallet and passed around a worn picture of Rebecca and Kyle.  They all admired the kids, Ben studying them most of all.  “The little girl looks so much like Isabella,” he said finally.

Gabriel nodded and sniffled.  “Rebecca.  I know.  She is so much like her mother.  You wouldn’t believe how smart she is, but then she speaks and well...”  He paused realizing he was not only babbling, but giving himself away.