Secret Worlds (15 page)

“Do I need grab the sheets or boil some water or something?”

“That depends on if you’re trying to get stains out of my bedspread.” Lulu grunted.  Obviously she was in pain, and obviously I wasn’t the type of person you wanted to bring with you to a medical emergency.

“I’ll be fine,” Lulu said, sweat forming on her brow. “Just try to calm Jack down until the paramedics arrive.”

Trying to calm Jack down sounded much easier than it actually was. I was bitten, I was scratched, I was punched, and I was called the only word he knew how to say—which wasn’t really a word at all, but more like a sound I could not replicate. But the kid was scared, and since I was basically peeing my pants myself, I couldn’t blame him.

When the paramedics finally arrived, they were quick, guiding Lulu onto a stretcher and assuring her (and Jack and I) that everything would be just fine. For Lulu, that might be true, but for me it was anything but.

After his mother left, Jack went from simmering to full-blown nuclear. It took every rabbit I could pull from my hat to keep him
quiet for even a minute. I did my best baby voice. I tried pirate cartoons. I attempted to feed him cookies (which were thrown back at me). I even tried to pay the stupid kid, but it turned out twenty bucks wasn’t as big an incentive to a toddler as I imagined it might be.

It may have been for the best, though. The more Jack screamed (and there was a lot of screaming) the longer my mind stayed occupied. It was when he was actually quiet, in those moments of silence, when my own internal monologue got noisy.

I started to worry about Lulu, and not just for the obvious reasons. Sure, she was in labor, and yes the hospital in New Haven was about as big as a Quizno’s (with all the technical advancement). But what was really pulling at my mind was what Abram had told me.

The dead girls … they all looked like me. And, according to Abram, that was the reason they were all dead. Someone was looking for me, because my blood was magic and they could use it to take over the world or make some supermodel fall in love with them or something.

You know, that old chestnut.

But as crazy as all of that sounded, I was actually beginning to believe it. And that was what was upsetting me so much.

Because as much as all those dead girls resembled me, none of them looked as much like me as Lulu did. For our entire lives, people confused us for sisters. We had the same dark hair, the same light eyes. Of course, Lulu was missing my father’s eye freckle, but that distinction hadn’t saved any of the other girls.

A horrible howling echoed from the woods behind us. Jack erupted back into screams, and though my entire body shook, I rushed to grab him. The monster was out there, but which one?

God, I was actually taking all of this seriously.

How could I not, with all I had seen tonight?

Another howl. From the same monster or another one? Maybe it was from an ordinary run-of-the-mill non-monstrous wolf. Hey, a girl can hope.

My mind raced to the worst possible scenario. What if Lulu was attacked on her way to the hospital? What if the monster who chased after me—the one Abram saved me from—had ripped into that ambulance in an effort to get a hold of her?

She would be running through these woods right now, scared and in labor. Or would she not even be able to run, same as she hadn’t been able to get to her phone. Did the Discovery Channel say fear can stall labor? Or was that with animals?

No, if something was after Lulu, labor or not, she would be trying to get back to her child. But what chance would she stand against a beast? She would be ripped apart, just like the rest. And it would be all my fault.

I reached for my cell before I realized who I was intending to call.

My mind shouldn’t have gone to him. I had just told him how awful he was and how I never wanted to see him again.  But if Abram was here, he would fix this. He would run those meaty wonderful hands through my hair and tell me everything would be all right. And I would believe him. Just like, God help me, I believed him now.

I set the phone back down and curled up in a ball on the couch with Jack, squeezing my eyes shut to try to keep the tears from falling.

How had my life gotten to this point?

It was halfway through a symphony of Jack’s screams that a knock sounded at the door.

My body tensed, causing all my other thoughts to screech to a halt like Saturday night traffic in Queens.

As if he sensed it, too, Jack’s high-pitched hijinks stopped as well, allowing the next knock to echo through an otherwise silent house.

I inched toward the door, looking out of the corner of my eye for something that might be used as a weapon. As the third knock banged along the door, I settled for the first thing in the kitchen I could find—a cheese grater.

Never one to put off the inevitable, I pulled the door open, holding the grater out in front of me like a magic talisman.

“I appreciate it, but if I was going to present someone with a kitchen utensil, I think it would be the blender. Just feels more personal.”

Dalton stood in the doorway, a sly smirk plastered across his otherwise adorable face.

Okay, so the smirk was adorable, too.

He was dressed in a police uniform: brown slacks and a matching shirt with a star shaped badge pinned to his chest. If I wasn’t so scared and embarrassed, I would have said it was hot. Because, you know, I was a red-blooded female and there was nothing—nothing—sexier than a guy in uniform.

Well, unless you count a sexily aggressive nightclub owner who may or may not moonlight as a giant wolf-monster or psycho kidnapper. Somehow, though, I sensed the latter wasn’t the case, and I wasn’t sure if that was more alarming or less.

Why is my life so weird?

“Are you—” I started, then shook my head. “Is Lulu—”

“Still in labor,” Dalton answered. “It’s gonna be an all-nighter. Lucky for you, I’m an all-night kind of guy.”

A bolt of guilt ran up my chest. Dalton had been such a great friend to me. And, if I was being honest, he had been a great ‘more than a friend’ too. And how had I repaid that awesomeness? By bumping uglies with the first sexy guy who looked at me twice.

His eyebrows rose. “Can I come in?”

Well, that was awkward. Here I was just standing there staring at him in silence.

“Sure,” I answered, because after all, it was his sister’s house, and who was I to say he couldn’t come in? “Have you called her husband?”

“His phone’s going straight to voicemail. He must still be in the air.” Dalton moved past me and gave me a peck on the cheek.

God, he still thought we were together.

I should have flinched away from him. I hadn’t been the type of girl who deserved a kiss from a guy like Dalton, someone capable of making me feel so safe and loved. I was the kind of girl who threw all that away for someone who kept secrets from me, someone who spouted nonsense when questioned about those secrets. But, for all that, Abram made me feel alive in a way that Dalton hadn’t, in a way I feared Dalton never could.

“How have you been?” he asked, moving through the foyer and scooping up Jack, who instantly perked up a thousand percent. “I missed you today at the diner.”

“Right,” I answered, remembering the text I had sent him. I was going to break up with him, but then the world turned upside down. And here he was being so gracious about me standing him up, too.

Break up with him now
,
dummy
!

I opened my mouth, but no words came. The moment felt all … wrong. My world was still spinning. I wasn’t sure where I (or anything else) was going to land.

I should have
broken up with him anyway, on the sole basis I didn’t deserve him. We weren’t officially together, but there was something between us. I was certain he wasn’t sleeping with anyone else, and yet I had.

I couldn’t even bring myself to defend my actions with the notion that we had never agreed to see each other exclusively. I’d never been one to see a problem with women dating as many men as they liked, but in this situation, the fact remained Dalton wasn’t aware of me seeing anyone else, and this would hurt him, and that was what made it wrong. The only
right
thing left to do was tell him.

Yet my mouth still couldn’t form the words.

“Sorry about dinner,” I said lamely. “Things came up.”

“They usually do,” he answered, tousling Jack’s hair. “No worries. Though I did have to brave the diner crowd shooting me pitiful looks. And on my first day in uniform and all.”

“Yeah, what’s that about?” I asked. “I thought detectives wore plain clothes.”

Not that I was complaining.

“It’s for the curfew.” He shrugged. ‘The town thought it would be more effective if the people on patrol looked like officers instead of—”

“Studs?” I finished.

A blush crept up his cheeks. Oh, no. I was doing it again, feeding into the relationship monster.

“Sorry,” I muttered instinctively.

Dalton’s eyebrows pulled together. “For what?”

Kill me now
. “I don’t know. I’m not feeling right tonight.”

At least that was true. I felt wrong. All wrong. I shouldn’t be playing this game, and yet selfishly, I wanted Dalton to be here. Abram was either literally or figuratively a monster, and the reality was, if Abram wasn’t in my life, I would be with Dalton, no questions asked. But I didn’t deserve him after what I’d done.

Dalton nodded as if it was no big deal. If only he knew … 

He looked at Jack, who was giggling now, but whose face was still streaked with tears and red blotches. “He’s been crying?”

“Only every second since before I got here,” I answered, squinting at the way he seemed so at ease with Jack in his arms and trying to decode the secret.

“Well, he’s better now.”

“Thanks to you.”

He smiled. “I have my talents.” 

“I have no doubt,” I answered. Now a blush crept up my cheeks.

“Have you eaten?” he asked. “How about I put him to bed and throw on some spaghetti? How does that sound?”

“Like you’ve been reading from my dream journal,” I answered, realizing how hungry I was.

As he moved from Jack’s room to the kitchen, eyeing the place from top to bottom, I realized why he was actually here.

“Lulu sent you to check up on me, didn’t she?” I asked, arms crossed.

It all made sense. I was here, as useless as a soaking wet parachute, and she sent her brother to make sure I wasn’t destroying her home and her kid.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” His smile faltered as he put the pasta on the stove. “I’m sure you’re doing a great job.”

“Save it. She thinks I’m going to make a mess of things.”

“I believe the word ‘sinkhole’ was
 
used.” He grinned, his hand moving to rake through his hair. “But it’s not bad.”

I arched my eyebrows.

“Well it’s not 
that 
bad.” He chuckled.

“Don’t laugh. This isn’t funny,” I said, surprised at how angry I was becoming. “We’re in a crisis, and my best friend doesn’t trust me!”

“Well,” Dalton said, moving closer in a slow (and decidedly wary) manner. “First of all, it’s not a crisis. She’s in the hospital. You know, where pregnant women go when they go into labor.”

I would have pointed out not all of them, according to Lulu, but I really didn’t know enough to argue. I frowned.

“She’ll be
fine
,” Dalton said. “And if she’s a little bit concerned about your abilities in certain areas …” He cleared his throat. “And, for the record, I am 
not 
saying she is concerned. Mostly because she’d kill me if she knew I told you. It’d only be because she knows this type of thing isn’t really your bag.”

Disregarding his retro usage of the word ‘bag’, I said, “That’s just a nice way of saying I don’t fit in with her anymore.”

And there it was, the truth of what had been simmering between Lulu and I since I returned to New Haven.

“Face it,” I continued, “if it had been Ester who found her, you wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“You’re right.” He shook his head. “If that stuck-up snob would have found my sister, I wouldn’t be having this conversation. But I wouldn’t be here, either.” He leaned in, kissing me on the cheek. “Because you are.” Dalton brushed a strand of hair out of my eyes and continued. “You’re amazing. You have to see that. God, knows everybody else does. It’s why Ester hates you. It’s why Lulu loves you so much. It’s why …”

His hand lingered on my cheek as his voice trailed off.  Heat ran through his fingers, tingled along my cheek. It was all around me, thick and warm, almost like—

“Your pasta is burning,” I said, noticing the billowing smoke.

“Not the impression I wanted to make.” He grinned, still looking into my eyes.

Biting my lip, I answered, “You’re doing just fine.”

***

Two phone calls to the hospital to check up on Lulu and an absolutely breathtaking (if a little overdone) pasta and eggplant dish later, Dalton and I were snuggling on the couch.

It would have felt wrong if he hadn’t been so right. Sure, he wasn’t strong in the way Abram was. After all, Abram was massive. Abram was a thrilling, intimidating, and exhilarating thing. Like fire. But like fire, the thought of him consumed me. It devoured my mind until there was nothing left of me.

But Dalton was strong, too, in a solid-like-stone sense-of-being type of way. You could build on stone. You could make a life on stone. Stone did not destroy all it touched. It didn’t leave you burned and broken, with nothing to show for your time and passion but ash scattered on the floor.

With Dalton, there was no bull, no drama, no chained up girls, and no magical excuses or beastly traits. And he wanted me.

But did I want him?

I snuggled as close as I could, trying to come up with the answer. But it wasn’t long before I realized what I was actually doing was trying to convince my heart to want something it didn’t.

I knew what was good for me. Any idiot could see that this man, so wonderful, so kind, was the right choice. But Abram was different. There was something about him that drew me in like a moth to flame. Questions and concerns aside, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I would go to that flame again.