Secret Worlds (265 page)

“I did it. There wasn’t any other choice.”

“Yep,” she agreed, her brow wrinkled. “You’d have ended up like Vercingetorix, or worse.”

Diana winced at the fate of France’s greatest Celtic hero. He’d ended up on a pike in Rome, and that would have been the best she could have hoped for.

Esha paled, then set down her mug “Oh, Diana. What about your daughters?”

Diana’s stomach pitched. “I remember them. Not well, just vague snippets here and there. Their death is one of those. When I first remembered, it felt like being stabbed. It’s faded into memory now, and it’s my memory, but it’s not. I don’t know. I know that it hurts even though it never actually happened to me.” Her body ached, every part of her seeming to throb.

“Even if it didn’t happen to you in this life, I think that it’s something your soul would never forget.”

Diana nodded, lost for words.

Esha changed the subject.

“So you found your sword and that’s how you figured it out?”

“Basically. I’d been searching through books, but that’s something the old Diana would do. Apparently I just had to get ahold of my old sword.” And her new life. A crazy, violent one that she didn’t know how to reconcile with her idea of what her life was supposed to be. Her gaze sought out her sword, which lay on the floor near the couch. The sight of it gave her conflicting sensations of security and horror.

“Anyway,” Diana said. “I need to know more about the portal in the underground. I’ve got to save my friend.”

“I think you’ve got to do more than that.”

“Yeah,” Diana said, knowing that she was right but unable to focus on anything but saving Vi.

“I can take you to the portal in the underground. There are a couple of Mythean Guardians watching it to make sure nothing escapes, but I can hide us from their sight while we look through the portal. I’m able to see in, and with my help, you can too. From there, we can figure out what the hell is going on. No pun intended.”

Diana’s skin prickled at the idea of getting so close to the danger, but she had to do it. For Vi, for Boudica, whose pain and rage still seethed under the surface of her skin. For herself. To take back control of her life.

“Excellent. I say we go now.” Diana went to the couch to put her shoes on and grabbed her sword.

“Good thinking.” Esha nodded at the sword. “We aren’t actually going into the portal, but you never know what will jump out. We’ll aetherwalk straight there, that way you don’t have to walk down the street with it.”

Diana nodded and rose to join Esha. Just before she reached her, someone pounded on the door.

Esha looked at her quizzically, then called out, “Yeah?”

“Open up, Esha.”

“It’s Warren.” Esha smoothed her hair. “Let me get this real quick.”

When she opened the door, Diana stepped backward in surprise. Cadan and Warren strode through. Who had released him from his bonds?

“You.” Diana glared at Cadan.

“Aye, it’s me.”

Had anything she’d said last night made him see her perspective? His past actions angered her, but it was his unwillingness to agree that he’d done wrong that really got her. And the fact that he’d been trying to do the same thing all over again.

As herself, Diana, she didn’t want to do all of this alone and could appreciate his desire to protect her. She wanted his help, but not at the expense of her agency. Her ability to choose her own fate was vital to her. She hadn’t liked forfeiting it in her past life and she certainly didn’t like it now.

“Why’d you come?” Diana asked, her gaze glued to Cadan.

Use this second chance, Cadan.

His eyes met hers, fire in their depths. “To keep you from doing something stupid and getting yourself hurt.”

Her heart clutched. He clearly hadn’t learned a thing. To trust him when he was like this was folly. If she was the only one who could save Vi and stop whatever was happening, she couldn’t risk his trying to stop her.

Diana turned to Esha and said, “Let’s go. I think I’ve heard enough.”

“Where are you going?” Cadan demanded.

“To do what I was reborn for. And it’s going to be
dangerous
. I might get hurt.” She knew she poked at him at her peril, but couldn’t help herself. She turned and cast Esha a let’s-get-a-move-on
look.

“Wait.” Warren’s voice was quiet. “You canna go alone.”

“Oh, you, too? And why would that be?” First Cadan, now this Warren joker?

But Warren looked at Cadan instead of answering. “You dinna tell her, did you?”

Cadan cursed.

“Tell me what?” Diana asked.

“Nothing. It’s no’ important. It won’t be an issue,” Cadan said.

The hair rose on Diana’s arms when she caught sight of the way Warren was looking at her. Sad, yet pitying?

“Cadan, she has to know,” Warren said.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Diana demanded. The tension in the room prickled along her skin. Something was very wrong.

Warren was still looking at her weirdly, too. “You’re destined to die as a result of the task.”

“What?” She barely had the breath to form the word. He couldn’t be serious. She’d thought it a possibility, but not a probability. Not a
fated
probability.

But from the way that Cadan was looking at her.... She grabbed for Esha’s hand. Cadan took a step toward her, something unrecognizable in his eyes, but she backed up. He jerked to a halt, his fist clenched.

Damn you, Cadan.

“Why the hell did you keep that kind of information from me?” she asked him. “I don’t know up from down anymore, and now I find this out?”

But it couldn’t be true. She wouldn’t let it be.

“You were never supposed to know!”

“Know what? Who I am, or what I’m supposed to do?”

“Both! Hell, I doona know. I just dinna want you facing this. If you never had to face it, you would no’ be at risk.” Cadan dragged a hand through his hair.

“Oh, well that’s great. I wasn’t supposed to find out who my soul belonged to. That’s
who I am.
Don’t you think I’d want to know that? That I’d need to know that? All so you can make make my decisions for me?”

“Aye. To save your damned arse.” A muscle twitched in his jaw. The way he was looking at her... Like a possession he’d never be able to bear losing.

“Did you ever consider that I’m the
only one
who can do this?”

“The hell you are. You’re no’ going anywhere without me, lassie.”

“You see, Cadan, the funny thing is, even though I’ve been reborn as a different person, I still don’t like being lied to. Or being told what to do. That, I
really
don’t like.”

Diana squeezed Esha’s hand to let her know that she wanted to leave. Just as she felt the familiar pulling sensation of aetherwalking, she realized that she’d rather face hell alone than stay here with Cadan.

Fifteen minutes later, Diana picked her way through the tunnels of the underground behind Esha. The soulceress had sucked her through space and within moments, they were deep underneath the city. Rodent skeletons and other mysterious debris littered the ground.

Eyes up. Don’t look down.
But the creepy misery of it all dulled the mess of horrible emotions that bombarded her. Betrayal, rage, fear. They were still there, but she could vaguely recognize—as if she were standing outside of her own head—that her brain had attempted to preserve her sanity by tying them up in a big, knotted bundle and stowing them in the corner of her mind.

She stepped over a pile of tumbled stones and tried to push aside the image of Cadan’s expression just before she’d disappeared with Esha. It had been confusion and...hurt? Diana rubbed her temple. Of course she’d hurt him. He’d done all this because he cared for her. Or he’d cared for Boudica.

Either way, he was so damned pigheaded. How could she ever convince him to meet her in the middle?

Did it even matter if she was supposed to die soon?

Ever since the first demon attack, dying had been a possibility that had weighed on her, but not a probability. Now that it was likely...

Her throat tightened, a hollow coldness pervading her chest. There’d be a way around it. Had to be.
Push it away.
She wrapped anger around her heart like a blanket, thrusting the fear away and embracing the rage and betrayal that kept her from collapsing.

Focus on your surroundings. Stay in the present.
But there wasn’t much to look at in the darkened tunnel, especially if she didn’t want to see what was crunching beneath her feet. The best she could do was stick close behind Esha.

She flushed. She was supposed to share a soul with one of Britain’s greatest warriors, and the best she could do was stick close behind her friend who led the way into danger?

But she had to do this. For herself—for Vivienne, who’d been dragged into this mess because of her. She had to do this. She
could
do this.

And she didn’t want Cadan to think otherwise. More important,
she
didn’t want to think otherwise. Being protected at the expense of her ability to make her own decisions was something she couldn’t live with.

If she got to live
. Either way, she’d be taking control now. Determining her own fate and doing what was necessary.

“We’re here.” Esha’s hushed tone jerked Diana back to the present.

“We are?”

Diana squinted into the dark, but could see nothing out of the ordinary. Just a big black chamber that dripped water. The air had an unnatural chill that couldn’t kill the reek of decay. Her nose wrinkled.

“Yeah, come closer.” Esha beckoned her forward with a wave of her hand.

When Diana reached her, Esha wrapped a slim arm around her waist. She mimicked the gesture until they stood side by side.

“All right, you need to close your eyes and focus on the feeling of my arm. I can’t give you my sight, but I can let you see inside my head.”

Diana squeezed her eyes shut and focused on the warmth of Esha’s arm. She twitched when she felt the cat twine itself between her legs and Esha’s.

“All right, I’m going in. Not my body, but my sight.”

Diana gasped and stumbled back as a black cloud of shadows bombarded her mind.

“That’s in front of us?” she whispered.

“Yep. Creepy, huh? Now focus and stop me when you recognize something. I’m going to try to find the source of the energy.”

The black cloud began to dissipate as Esha’s mind went farther into the new world. It was dark and gray with a sluggish black river snaking through marshes while mist crawled through the reeds and along the edge of the field upon which they stood. She couldn’t tell where the dim light that illuminated the dismal scene came from, which made the surroundings extra creepy.

They began to move forward and a chill crept up her spine. Shadows of people, almost ghostlike, wandered along the river and through the mist toward a dark forest.

Esha led her after them. Diana shivered. All her big talk about taking control of her fate and doing what was necessary seemed a bit ridiculous now that she was actually seeing an ancient hell.

“Where are we exactly?” Diana whispered.

“Erebus. It’s the largest region of Hades. Many of these souls were warriors.”

“We’re getting closer.” Diana shivered. The air crackled with a malevolence that made her skin itch.

“I feel it too.”

They entered the forest. The trees rose tall above the ground, claw-like branches reaching toward a moonless sky. A vague glow emanated from farther ahead, brightening as they drifted toward it.

“We can’t be seen, right?” Diana glanced around, looking for glowing eyes that would suit this Halloween world perfectly.

“Should be fine, since it’s just my sight and not our bodies that are here. Been here before and no one noticed.”

At a clearing in the wood, they passed a solemn looking boy of perhaps twelve leaning against a tree. He looked vaguely familiar, but her attention was drawn by the sight of Vivienne. A fist squeezed her heart at the sight of her friend sitting with her back against a tree that was slightly behind the boy’s tree. Her eyes were closed and her wrists bound in front of her. Instinctively, Diana started to pull away from Esha to approach her friend, but Esha tightened her grip on her hand.

“You can’t help her because we aren’t actually here. Don’t break our bond.” Esha’s voice was strained.

Desperate to figure out what was going on and a way out of this, Diana dragged her gaze from Vivienne. Black roots pushed up through the dark soil and dead leaves. The ring of trees surrounding the clearing was nearly circular. A great platform carved from black stone stood in the center. Her gaze landed on a man standing behind the altar with a book in one hand.

A man that Diana recognized.

Shit.
Her skin grew cold and clammy.

“We will avenge your death, Maximus.” His deep voice vibrated with the intensity of a zealot, committed to telling the world it was about to end.

Diana started. He was speaking to the boy leaning against the tree. The boy merely looked up. His gaze was sullen and doubtful, the look that any teenager might shoot a parent they thought was stupid. It was out of place in this solemn world. So normal that it made her ache for the boy despite her fear.

“Who’s there?” The man’s head snapped up and his black eyes bored into Diana. Her heart. “Someone’s there, I can sense you.”

“Gotta go.” Esha’s voice shook.

Diana nodded emphatically despite her desire to stay with Vivienne, who’d now opened her eyes and was blindly searching the clearing. Diana’s stomach soured at the sight of her friend, trapped and bound, but she couldn’t help her if they were caught unawares.

“Come on, Esha,” she whispered. Why weren’t they leaving?

“I—I can’t.” Her voice trembled with strain.

“What can I do?”

“Imagine the chamber. Picture as many details as you can. It could help, since our minds are linked in this.”

Diana struggled to bring the image to mind, but the man was getting closer. Her breath began to saw in and out of her lungs. He couldn’t hurt them. Couldn’t.