Secret Worlds (270 page)

Too much. Not enough.

She clutched at his shirt. “Faster. I need you now.”

She didn’t want to think, didn’t want time to process what her fate might be. She wanted him. Wanted Cadan. He would make her forget.

He must have heard the desperation in her voice. While she struggled out of her clothes, he reared up and jerked the shirt over his head. His jeans were gone, then hers, and she stared up at the magnificent form rising above her on the bed. She reached up toward him and ran her hands along the rigid beauty of his abs. Then she yanked him down to her.

“Now,” she demanded, running her arms over his sculpted back. She sank her nails into his ass and jerked him toward her. “I need you
now
.”

She wanted him pounding into her so hard that she could only feel him. Could only think of him.

“Hang on,” he grated, his breath harsh at her ear. He wanted her as much as she wanted him, she knew it. She jerked at his hips again.

He resisted, pulling back enough to slip a hand between them. “I want to make sure you’re ready.”

He stroked his thumb over her clitoris.
Yes.
She squirmed beneath him.

“More.” She moaned when he pushed a finger inside her.

“A demanding one, aren’t you?” He grinned down at her, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. They were still haunted.

She closed her eyes and focused on the feel of him.

When his fingertips pressed against the pad of flesh that was so sensitive, her hips arched off the bed.

“Yes.” She moaned as he began to thrust inside her while circling her clitoris with his thumb.

His breath was hot on her neck as he worked her toward orgasm. He thrust his erection against her thigh, mirroring the rhythm of his fingers inside her. She reveled in the hard heat of him against her.

A tingling suffused her as the pleasure built toward its peak. Just as the tension began to coil at her core, he withdrew his hand.

“No, please, I’m—”

He thrust his cock into her, stretching her. Filling her almost unbearably. Light burst in front of her eyes as the orgasm crashed over her in waves.

“
Fuck
.” He groaned. “I can feel you clenching around me.”

He shuddered atop her as he rocked into her. His strong hands grasped her legs and pushed them up, spreading them wider and thrusting harder.

Her back arched as a second orgasm seared through her. She opened her eyes in time to see him throw back his head, tendons at his neck straining and his eyes squeezed shut as he poured himself into her.

It was near dusk when they rolled apart and lay side by side staring at the ceiling. Only the sound of their breathing broke the silence.

I might love him.

She swallowed. He made her...
belong.
After so many years of trying to find a place in her small family that would never fit, and then trying to make one on her own, she’d found it with him. He accepted her for what she was. He cared for her, knowing everything about her. Even the worst of her past. As she knew his. Maybe he even...
loved her?

She shook the thought away. It wouldn’t matter, if she couldn’t get herself out of this mess. As much as part of her wanted him to take over and save her, a far larger part, a far more important part, needed to see this through herself. Paulinus was the man who’d killed her daughters, burned her lands, abducted her friend. Now he threatened her again?

This, she would deal with. Then, maybe, she could make things work with Cadan.

“This is awful,” Diana said. All the risks she thought she would face had just doubled.

Cadan squeezed her close to his side. “There’s got to be another way for you to get to Erebus. Or leave him. The biggest threat to you right now is the demons he keeps sending out. We’ll keep killing them as they come and you’ll stay on earth.”

Sounds good to me
. She had to
kill herself
to gain access to the Roman underworld in order to have her vengeance? Seriously?

“You know it’s not that simple. Vi is there. I can’t leave her.”

He nodded and heaved out a great sigh.

“Something has been bothering me about what Esha said.” It had been tickling her mind and she only now realized what it was. She reached out to lace his fingers in hers, wanting to feel his skin against hers as much as she could. The contact warmed something cold inside her.

“Aye?”

“She said the soul was a one-for-one deal. If he kills me, it will only give life to one soul, presumably his.”

“That’s right.”

“Well, what about his son? He said in the forest that he wants to avenge his son. But he would leave him there in Erebus?” Just thinking about the misty gloom of Erebus made her shiver.

“He’s a right bastard, Diana.”

She thought about her daughters. “Yes. But not about his son. There’s no way he’d leave Maximus there.”

She wouldn’t have left her daughters in the misty gloom and misery of Erebus. She’d have done
anything
to get them out. Cadan squeezed her hand as though he knew her dark musings.

“So what do you think he’s planning, then?”

“Well, either he’s got something else up his sleeve, or he’s only planning to save his son. Because he can’t use Vi’s soul, right?”

“Aye. She had nothing to do with his death and putting him in Erebus. Yours is the only soul that has the power to free them, and maybe you’re right. He’ll use it for his son.”

That was something she could understand, empathize with. But what could his other options be? What could
her
other options be? With something—no, someone—like Cadan to fight for, she couldn’t come out of this battle on the losing side. Especially not with Vi’s life on the line. She had to believe there was a way out.

“Cadan, I need to see Andrasta. I’m going to ask Esha to send me south.”

“I just got you back. Doona be runnin’ away from me now.”

“I’ve got to see her—she’s my patron goddess. I called her to me once before. It was the night before the battle. Right before you abducted me.” She turned her head in time to see him grimace. “I have to ask her what’s to become of me. And she might have ideas.”

“All right. What do you need?”

“A hare. And I need to go alone.”

Warren leaned against the kitchen counter in Esha’s flat, trying to keep his eyes off her where she stood talking to Cadan. They’d sent Diana through Esha’s portal just moments ago and she would be returning here once her mission was complete.

In the meantime, he’d be staying here with Esha to await her return. Memories of their last encounter and the dreams that she haunted had kept him awake at night.

Gods knew he’d tried to ignore her these last ten years, but with her appearance in his office last week, now he couldn’t stop noticing her. He’d suggested her addition to the Praesidium because it was a wise tactical move for the organization. But it wasn’t something that he should have done for his own sake.

He’d done it anyway.

He watched Esha squeeze Cadan’s shoulder in comfort and the gesture made him grit his teeth. Jealousy? It was ridiculous.

“I’ll be back soon,” Cadan said. “Call me if Diana returns before I do.”

Esha turned back to the room and her gaze stopped on him. “Why are you looking at Cadan like you want to tear his head off?”

He scrubbed a hand over his face. Gods, now she was noticing that he was acting crazy. “I wasn’t. Where’d he go?”

“To check something at the university. He didn’t explain.” She strolled into the kitchen and hopped up onto the counter across from him.

It was bloody hard to keep his eyes on her face. Not only would he be alone with her now, she was sitting so close he could smell her. Damn it. He really needed to get himself together. He was a mess over her. A soulceress.

Her kind were dangerous. He had every right to be wary of them. In fact, he should be staying the hell away from her. The hell he’d gone through as a result of tangling with another soulceress was directly responsible for the celibacy that she was threatening. He could only imagine what a mess he’d be in if he actually slept with her.

“Can I ask you something, Warren?” She swung her long legs. Back and forth, back and forth. Like a metronome to which he wanted to keep his eyes glued.

He dragged his gaze up to hers. “Is it about going to Diana and interfering?”

“Damn it, you know I had to do that. And I didn’t screw anything up!”

He frowned, then flattened his mouth to wipe it away. “Nay, you dinna.”

“That’s right. And that wasn’t my question.” She hopped down off the counter and stepped toward him so that she stood right in front of him.

Her eyes glinted gold in the light and her lips were a red that drew his eyes. He swore his mouth actually watered at the scent of her, so close and so lovely. His mind was starting to fog.

“Your question?” His voice was rough, embarrassingly so.

“Why are you hot and cold with me?”

“Hot and cold?” He swore his brain was shutting down and it was making a ball of panic rise in his throat.

“You know, you used to avoid me on campus, but then you invited me to join the Praesidium.”

“That’s just good business. You’re good at what you do.” It reminded him of what she was. Of why he needed to be wary. He felt his face harden.

“See,” she said. “There it is. Your face changed. You were looking at me like you liked me, like you wanted me, and now you’re looking at me like I’m a snake in your garden.”

“I doona know what you mean.” But he did. She’d nailed him. The hot and cold of what he wanted from her and what he knew he couldn’t have. She made him want to chuck his celibacy out the window.

“I think you do. I think you like me.” She raised a hand to his neck and a shudder wracked him.

“You like that. I can feel it,” she said.

A woman hadn’t touched him like that in centuries. He wanted it so badly he ached. Touch, warmth, a release from the self-imposed iron cage of control that kept his demons at bay. She offered it all.

His cock swelled and punched against his pants and that fog fell across his brain again. She was so warm and soft and close. He reached up to cup the back of her neck to draw her to him.

The heat of her skin against his fingertips shocked some sense into him. He jerked his hand away and stepped backward until he bumped into the counter. Gods, that was so close. He’d been so damn close to losing it. And he would, with her. One touch, one taste, and he’d be lost.

To a damn soulceress.

“What?” she asked, confusion and hurt on her face. She moved toward him.

He sidestepped. This had to stop. He couldn’t fight it.

“I doona want you.”

“Yes, you do. I’m not an idiot. I see the way you look at me.”

“I doona bloody want you. You’re a soulceress, for gods’ sakes.” It was a godsdamned lie, but it came out easy, pushed by the panic.

Her eyes stopped shining and took on a leaden cast. She stepped backward.

“Ugh. Boring. Always with the soulcery business.” Her words were light but her tone wasn’t. She strolled over to the couch but didn’t sit. “Like I have the fucking plague or something. I really thought you were different, Warren. What’s your problem, anyway? You’re a damned mystery monster. I don’t drain your power, so what have you got against me?”

Her tone was acid, but he swore he could hear a note of vulnerability in it. It made him feel even worse, which only exacerbated the crazy panic within him. He didn’t know how to deal with this kind of situation.

“Canna trust them,” he said.

“Ugh, you’re just like everyone else. A stupid bigot. What, you get screwed by a soulceress once?”

He started to speak, but wasn’t sure what he would say.
Aye, she made me the monster that I am?

She didn’t give him a chance. “You know what? Forget I asked. My mistake. And I don’t care, anyway. I don’t need you. I don’t need anybody.”

She threw herself onto the couch.

Now what the hell was he supposed to do? What were they supposed to do? They worked together now and he’d made a mess of things, all in an effort to preserve his stupid sanity. Which was a worthless endeavor. He’d lost it long ago.

Diana opened her eyes in the forest in central England. Esha had created a portal for her that morning, and though stepping into it alone had been like stepping off a bridge, she’d done it. She’d learned that Esha was friends with Andrasta, but that she didn’t have the power to summon the goddess.

It was fine, though. Diana had a good feeling that this would work. Her memory had restored the location of the place where she’d originally called upon Andrasta for help. It was also the place where she’d died, but Diana pushed the nerves away and looked around at the forest. She was only a few miles from the Roman fort she’d visited with Cadan. She had to come alone to ensure that Andrasta would show, and she was probably safe, but she gripped her sword tighter just in case.

The smell of the trees hit her first. It had smelled like this when she’d died. A light sweat broke out on her skin. Everything else was different, but as she walked through the forest, she swore she could smell the mud and the blood of war that lingered in the earth. Though they hadn’t fought on this ground, the battle had been waged only a hundred yards away.

No, this ground was soaked with her own blood. She stopped in a particularly thick copse of trees and began to dig at the soil with her foot, nudging aside fallen branches and piles of dead autumn leaves. It wasn’t long before she found the tumbled ring of stones that had once formed the walls of the house where she’d died. Dappled sunlight shone through the oaks above and danced in patterns on the stone.

As she revealed the rest of the ring, now rising only a couple of inches above the ground, she fought the nausea rising in her stomach. Instinct had led her here, as it had told her to clear the stones.

A raven called as she brushed the leaves off the last stone. Diana shivered. Once every stone was revealed, she stood in the spot where she had died. Where she’d been trussed up by Cadan on the night of the battle.