Secretly Smitten (42 page)

“When he didn’t make it, I decided to do it myself. Met a lot of people, led a few to the Lord. It’s been rewarding overall.”

“It’s been well over a year, though, hasn’t it?”

He shrugged. “Guess I just never found a reason to stop.”

Though truth be told, “on the go” was wearing thin. Finding jobs had gotten harder. And lunch on Sunday had made him remember what he was missing.

Family. Relationships. And yes, home-cooked meals.

A couple hours with her family had him longing for something he hadn’t had in years. In some ways, had never had. He admired the closeness Clare’s family shared. He hardly remembered his own mom, and it had just been him and Dad most of his life.

Someday, though, he wanted something just like that. And a little part of him wondered, as he worked side by side with Clare, if she could be a part of it.

Clare loosened the petunia from its pot. Ethan had sure shed a new light on the drifter thing. Ministry. It made her respect him in a whole new way. Despite the good he did, he must feel lonely, traveling from town to town, no roots, no home, no loved ones.

She felt bad for asking about Fletch. She’d seen the hurt in the depths of Ethan’s brown eyes. Fletch’s death had left its mark. A part of her had wanted to reach out and comfort him.

But she remembered the way electricity thrummed through her veins at his touch. The way she felt when he was nearby—all jittery—and a thread of worry spread through her, making her heart race.

It wouldn’t do to get attached. He was leaving soon, on to his next mission field, and while she did want a man, yearned for love, she didn’t want a broken heart. And she was sure that’s exactly where a relationship with Ethan Foster would lead.

CHAPTER EIGHT

J
une marched by, and pruning took over most of Clare’s day. The nursery was burgeoning with flowers and customers, but the extra help allowed her more time in her own garden, doing what she loved best.

Planning for the bicentennial celebration ramped up, and the town vibrated with excitement about the coming parade and festivities. The celebration was all the more anticipated because of the hard work and faith that had transformed Smitten from a dying logging community to a thriving tourist destination. Railroad or not, they had much to celebrate.

Ethan had made himself indispensable at the nursery. Clare wondered how she’d gotten along without him. He’d taken over the deliveries completely. She was beginning to dread his leaving. How would she manage without him?

The feud between Grandma and Aunt Violet dragged on, but Ethan mediated like a pro. He had a quiet way of cutting through the tension—even if the women still weren’t talking except to bicker, Aunt Violet always getting in the last word.

Ethan was also full of ideas. He had come up with ways to improve traffic flow and a more efficient way to schedule deliveries. They were good ideas, but Clare hadn’t made the changes yet. Maybe later, when they weren’t so busy.

One quiet afternoon while they pruned suckers from the roses, he admitted to Clare that one of Pastor Walden’s sermons had gotten him thinking about some changes he might need to make. He didn’t expound, but Clare felt honored that he’d opened up enough to share his heart.

When she saw him talking privately with the pastor after church the following Sunday, Clare whispered a prayer of gratitude. It bolstered her faith to see God working in his life.

It also did her heart good to see Ethan in the pew with Aunt Violet or with Michael—their military history was a strong bond. Others from the community had taken him under their wing too. He’d met many members through the nursery, and Clare saw him talking with them before church in the parking lot. For a man short on words, he’d sure made friends quickly.

He’d been joining her family for lunch on Sundays, and Clare told herself that the ribbon of pleasure she felt at each appearance was relief at not having to be the fifth wheel. She told herself that providing a home-cooked meal for a homeless man was the Christian thing to do.

But inside she knew better. Knew that the flutter in her stomach was more than poor digestion, the thudding of her heart more than a circulatory issue. She liked Ethan. He made her feel things no one else had.

That was the direction of her thoughts the first Friday night in July. Her Lean Cuisine eaten, she settled onto the sofa and flipped on the TV, the night ahead stretching into the distance, long and lonely, like the Smitten railroad tracks.

Dixie plopped at her feet and laid her head on Clare’s lap, her eyes questioning.

“You’ll keep me company, won’t you, girl?”

Her sisters and mother were out with their true loves having fun, she was sure. Candlelit dinners, music on the square, or a carriage ride through town. She hadn’t asked. Maybe Clare should just rejoin Zoe’s dating service and get it over with.

A jewelry store commercial came on. A couple, the man on one knee with a ginormous diamond. Clare turned off the TV. She had to get out of here. Meet people. Have a little fun. She was only twenty-nine, for pity’s sake. Too young to sit home on a Friday night.

Dixie spun in two circles when Clare grabbed the leash off the hook. She locked up, gripping the leash tight lest Dixie drag her all the way to Burlington.

The temperature was balmy, the air still. Perfect for a nighttime stroll through the village. Maybe they’d stop at Wind Chill Creamery.

“How about some ice cream, girl?”

Dixie looked at her, eyes bright, ears perked. Bethany always gave Dixie a doggie cone.

The town looked beautiful. White lights twinkled from storefronts and spiraled up lampposts. Annuals of every color and variety burst from window boxes. Music floated from the town square, Grandma and her aunts harmonizing with their stringed instruments in a way they no longer could with words.

Couples crowded the brick sidewalks, browsing the gallery window, spilling from Sweet Surrender, waiting hand in hand to cross the street on their way to dinner in their sundresses and linen suits.

Clare sighed. Smitten really was the worst place for a single girl.

Despite her desire to do otherwise, her thoughts returned to Ethan. They were doing that a lot lately. She was both dreading and anticipating his nearing departure. Dreading because she’d miss him. And not only for his role at the nursery. He’d become a friend. She enjoyed her time with him.

A little too much. He hadn’t touched her since the day he’d swiped dirt from her cheek. Sometimes she found herself wondering what it would be like to be in his arms, to be kissed by him. If one simple touch had made her knees buckle, how wonderful would his kiss be? She shouldn’t indulge in the fantasy, she knew that.

The one touch should’ve served as a warning. Notification that he’d somehow wormed his way into her heart, filled a spot she desperately wanted filled.

But not with him.

He’s all wrong for me, God. He’d make me fall for him, only to leave me.

Who was she kidding? She was already falling for him. But the only thing worse than being thirty and alone was being thirty, alone, and heartbroken.

He was too big a risk. Why did she have to fall for a man who didn’t know the meaning of the words
home
or
family
? A man bent on a mission that she really couldn’t criticize, not if it was God’s will for his life.

If she were smart, she’d stay as far away as she could until he left. Send him on errands, deliveries. Because even though he may have let the people of Smitten in, he’d leave it all behind, just as he had the other towns.

And then where would she be?

Dixie surged forward, pulled hard on the leash.

Clare pulled back, to no avail. The eighty-pound dog dragged her through the crowd, making her bump pedestrians. “Sorry! Excuse me! Dixie,
stop.
”

” But the dog rushed on, pulling Clare until they were under the green canopy of Outdoor Adventures.

Ethan stopped and turned when Dixie nudged his hand with her nose. “Hey, girl.” He rubbed her head behind her ears.

Clare was breathing hard. Even so, her stomach fluttered at the sight of him. Blue T-shirt, fitted jeans, overgrown dark hair falling in his eyes. Sigh.

“She chased you halfway through town.” Just in case he thought
she
was the one chasing him down.

Pedestrians jostled by until they moved aside.

“What are you doing in town?”

“What brings you out tonight?”

They spoke simultaneously, then laughed.

“We’re going for ice cream,” she said. “Aren’t we, Dixie?”

“That’s where I was headed.”

Reese exited her outfitters store, locked up, and greeted them. “Hey, Clare. Heard from a little birdie you have a big birthday in a few weeks.”

“Shh, I’m in denial.”

Ethan’s crooked smile beckoned. “The big 3-0?”

“Her sisters are throwing a big birthday bash at Mountain Perks.”

“A
small, intimate
gathering,” Clare said.

Reese winked. “With fifty of her closest friends.”

Clare groaned.

“You should come, Ethan,” Reese said.

“Sounds like fun,” he said, not taking his eyes off Clare.

“Sounds like my worst nightmare.”

Reese laughed, then waved, dashing home to her hubby. Her happily-ever-after.

Clare and Ethan began walking again, Dixie wagging contentedly beside them.

“It’s just a number, boss.”

“A big number.”

He nudged her shoulder. “Not so big.”

They walked in companionable silence for a moment, Clare admiring the sights and sounds of the village.

“I was just listening to your grandma and aunts playing on the square. They’re pretty good.”

“Grandma used to play for the Boston Symphony. Hard to believe they can make such beautiful music together when they’re in such discord. I just don’t know what we’re going to do. How can they go on like this? They don’t know what tomorrow will bring. What if something happens to one of them? It would be so awful.”

“It’ll work out.”

“I have sensed a softening in Aunt Violet lately. Ugh! I had no idea they were so stubborn.”

He smiled, his eyes dark in the shadows. “All you can do is pray for them, you know that.”

They left Dixie leashed to the bike stand, waiting for her cone. The bell tinkled as they entered the creamery.

After they ordered, they carried their treats from the crowded shop and found an empty parlor table on the patio overlooking the square. Dixie downed her cone in one gulp, then stared at them with pitiful brown eyes.

Clare glanced at Ethan. She wasn’t sure how this had happened. One minute she was determined to avoid him, the next she was having ice cream with him at a table for two under twinkling white lights.

He held up a spoonful. “Bite?”

Clare wrinkled her nose at Ethan’s ice cream boat. “No thanks.” Razzmatazz topped with hot fudge, strawberries, rainbow sprinkles, and whipped cream. It looked nasty, but you had to admire a guy secure enough to order sprinkles.