But she was also all wrong about him.
“Would you do me the favor of when you run into me in the future, don’t you dare act as if you’ve never talked to me. Or give me your ‘been busy’ line and vacant stare. Promise me you’ll give me that much respect.” She turned and headed back down the beach. He sighed and followed her. Wishing this evening hadn’t gone down this particular road, and sorrier still he couldn’t change his ways for her.
Angie spent the entire next day with Sarah. Sarah liked the company. The rain hadn’t quit and was streaking down the windows, making the outside look fuzzy, and darker than daylight. Scott had been quiet all day, busy now in the garage working on his car. They had gone to a movie last night, come back home, gotten into bed together, touched and kissed and made love, but they hadn’t talked. He hadn’t been in bed when she woke up.
Well, she deserved that, didn’t she? She’d pushed him when he wasn’t ready to be pushed. She should have stopped herself. She’d just gotten so mad, about Chloe, Scott’s attitude toward Chloe, and mostly, about how much more Scott could be if he’d let himself. He did not have to revert back into callous, cold, player Scott. He could be who he was with her. She was sure he could be that man permanently. She only wanted to convince him of that.
Vanessa came home. Sarah couldn’t take an afternoon with her. She ran upstairs and grabbed her shoes. She wasn’t a prisoner in their house, and it was time she remembered that.
She passed by the garage. Scott was sanding a car fender. He stopped working when he caught sight of her. He nodded at the keys in her hand, raising his eye brow in question.
“I’m going to Kelly’s house.”
“With what?”
“Your truck. Cookie’s coming with me.” She arched her eye brows, daring him to tell her differently.
“You’re driving my truck?”
“Yeah. Why not? At least if someone’s watching me, they won’t be looking for your truck.”
“You can take my car.”
Sarah stared at Scott puzzled. Did that mean something? Something big? Scott was willing to let her take his prized car without a second’s hesitation. In fact, he volunteered it. It had to mean something.
“No. I want Cookie to come.”
Scott eyed her. “You’re weirdly attached to my dog.”
“I am. I really love your dog.”
“Why the attitude? Did you think I was going to stop you or something?”
“No, of course not.”
“Are you coming back for dinner?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Why? Does Vanessa need to know?”
“No. I wanted to know.”
“Oh. Well then, no. I’m not. I’m going to eat with Luke and Kelly. She’s become this strangely good cook, well that is when she cooks things I’ve heard of. She tends for the exotic.” She turned.
“Sarah?”
She stopped and glanced back.
“Are you okay?”
Didn’t it mean something he asked? If he wanted her to be like every other girl he’d screwed, why did he ask her that? Why did he involve himself more than he had to? Why did he offer her his car?
“Sure. I’m great. I’m only semi being stalked, and semi scared it’s actually a threat to me. I’m living with a man who won’t commit to even a dinner date, and a woman who would literally cut my eyes out of my head if she could. Why wouldn’t I be great?”
“You want to talk about last night?”
“No. I really never want to talk about last night.”
“Okay. Have fun. Relax. Go pretend your life is normal.”
“How did you know that’s what I was doing?”
“Because I know you. It may piss you off that I do, but you know it’s true.”
She turned around. She called Cookie who came bounding over and happily got in the door she held open, happily sitting right next to her on the bench seat, licking her face. Sarah couldn’t help but smile at the dog. She might not know anything about her once orderly life. She wasn’t sure where she and Scott would end up, or what exactly she felt for Scott, but she did love his dog.
****
Angie and the Tylers were in talks about her baby. Angie was excited about the idea, and had met with them. Luke didn’t really believe Angie would stick to any decision about adoption. Sarah guessed Luke was better off not believing they were going to have a baby. He was better off being cautious. She stayed out of the discussions, feeling like she involved herself as much as she should, especially with how Vanessa felt about her.
When Kelly saw it was Sarah at the door she shrieked and let her in. Sarah was glad for her friend’s support and excitement to see her. She needed a break from being the unexpected, and unsure of her place, guest.
****
Scott knocked at the Tyler’s door. Luke answered after a few moments.
“Scott, hey. What’s up? Is everything okay with Angie?” Luke asked as he motioned for Scott to come in.
“Angie’s fine. The baby’s fine. She’s complaining but fine. I’m actually here for my dog and Sarah.”
“Sarah? I was under the impression she was staying the night.”
“Really? It might have been nice for her to pass that along,” he said, entering the living room, where he found Sarah and Kelly seated at the kitchen table with a mass of pictures around them, and an open bottle of wine.
Sarah turned in her seat and frowned. “Scott? What are you doing here?”
“Looking for you, and my dog.” Cookie was stretched out at Sarah’s feet, with only a mild thump of her tail as greetings to Scott.
Traitor.
He glared at Cookie when she didn’t get up and greet him.
“Oh. I’m staying the night here. Why? Do you care?”
“No, I don’t care, but you might have told me. Last time it got dark and you were still out, you just about didn’t come home.”
“You were worried about me?”
“Duh. Did you forget what’s going on?”
“No. Of course not. I’m here, perfectly fine.”
“I see that now.” Scott narrowed his eyes and noticed Sarah’s smile was far easier than usual, her eyes were dazed, and her skin was flushed. “Are you drunk?”
“Mmm. Maybe a little. I’m not sure.” She giggled. Scott turned for help from Luke.
“Yeah, they’re drunk. We got our wedding pictures back, and they’ve been poring over them all afternoon, finishing off almost two bottles of wine. And giggling with each other like my high school students do. It’s embarrassing.”
“It’s a Sunday. Not Sarah-like, I’d imagine?”
“No. Not like Sarah. She was pretty upset for a while. She told us the stuff that’s been going on. I think Kelly intended to distract her, cheer her up. And well, there you go, you see the results. Kelly had never even had a drink until last Christmas, so she’s an embarrassing lightweight.”
Sarah turned back toward Scott. “I can do what I want you know. I’m still a free and single adult.”
“I know. But you have my dog. Were you planning on feeding her tonight?”
“Oh. I didn’t think about that.”
“And you have my work truck. I need it tomorrow, for you know, Monday.”
“Oh.”
“I wasn’t trying to control you. Don’t worry, your free and swinging single life is safely intact.”
Luke and Kelly’s gazes swung between them. His tone was far more brisk than he intended. But he had been worried about her. She didn’t answer her cell phone or his texts. It was now nearly ten o’clock, and he’d begun to think crazy thoughts about where she was.
“Stay here, that’s fine. But I need my truck keys and my dog.”
Sarah got up, her body swaying. “I could come with you.”
“Whatever. Let’s just make it quick. Some of us get up early.”
“Why do you sound so annoyed?”
“Because I am.”
“Oh.” She frowned again, concentrating, like following his logic was somehow difficult.
Luke laughed behind them. Kelly and Sarah suddenly embraced, giggling together over something they were whispering frantically back and forth about. It was hard not to stare at the pair of them. He couldn’t picture a more beautiful pair of women. Kelly, half bohemian, with long auburn hair, her flowered dress flowing over her, against Sarah’s slim, trim, immaculate tailored shirt and glossy brown hair.
“You okay with Sarah? If you don’t want to deal with all the crap going on, we don’t mind her staying here. Not at all,” Luke said, as Scott started toward their front door whistling for his traitorous dog.
“She’s fine,” Scott said shortly.
“Okay. Then you might want to ease up on her. She’s upset.”
Scott nodded. He was upset too. Sarah had deliberately not called him, had deliberately worried him. And now the Tylers didn’t think he could take care of her? Hadn’t he been taking care of her off and on since this stalker stuff had started? Wasn’t he the one who had convinced Sarah it was even a problem?
“I’ll take care of her. I’m only annoyed because I was worried she wasn’t taking care of herself again.”
“Well, enjoy. Neither of them have quit talking in about four hours. I think I’ll put Kelly to bed and hope she doesn’t want to aim that chatter at me.”
Scott chuckled and his shoulders relaxed as he realized Sarah really had been fine, and in fact having fun, which Sarah didn’t do easily or often. Who was he to be such a jerk about it? Then again, maybe he was a little jealous she hadn’t chosen to do so with him. Scott shook his head, the thought of that was his being too clingy.
He also had the distinct feeling he had interrupted Kelly and Sarah talking about
him
.
Sarah was finally at the door, getting her coat on, trying to zip up her black boots. She was still giggling as she hugged Kelly again, and then Luke, thanking them for the evening. Scott took her arm. He’d leave his car for another day. He locked it up, and then they were off.
Sarah leaned back heavily on the seat, and then tipped her head toward him.
“You know what I need?”
“No, what do you need?”
“Panties.”
He glanced over, startled at her proclamation. “You forget to put some on?”
“Of course not. I haven’t done laundry in nearly a week, and I need more.”
“Of course, you’re wearing them. You wouldn’t be Sarah otherwise. Is this your misguided attempt of saying you need to stop by your apartment?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, we will,” he said, then asked, “So, Sarah, what was it you and Kelly were so intently talking about? Me by any chance?”
“Why would you say that?”
“Just a feeling.”
She waved her hand in the air. “I told her about us. How you are.”
“Great. So she can disapprove of me now too?”
“Oh, not that stuff. I told her how you are with me. Not other girls.”
“And how’s that?”
“Wonderful. I mean, you don’t treat me like your other girls. You treat me special. Kelly and I agreed that had to mean something.”
“It does, huh?” She didn’t even glance up at the gruff tone in his voice. Her wanting him to like her squeezed his heart in physical pain.
“Of course, it does.”
“And I suppose you and Kelly tried to figure out just what that means.”
“Yes. But she also reminded me of something I should have remembered myself.”
“What’s that?”
“I realized I owe you an apology.”
“Really? For what?”
“For last night.”
His heart clenched. He was wronging her, and she thought she had to apologize? Christ. Quietly he said, “You have nothing to apologize for.”
“When Kelly first started sleeping with Luke, I warned her she needed to go into it with her eyes open, knowing exactly what their relationship would be. Luke wasn’t looking for a relationship, and I wanted Kelly to acknowledge that so she didn’t get hurt. Then I turned around and ignored my own advice, with you. So you see, however I feel, it’s my problem, not yours.”
He was quiet. He had a feeling sober Sarah wouldn’t have said any of this. His heart twisted. She was prepared to be hurt by him.
“Luke and Kelly got married. Looks like you were wrong.”
“Well, that time maybe. But it’s unusual that things go that way. I freaked out last night. I’m sorry.”
He glanced over at Sarah in the dark shadows of the cab. He didn’t want to agree with her. But he also knew it wouldn’t be different for them. He wanted it to be different for them, but how could it be? He couldn’t promise her a future for reasons she couldn’t understand, and in fact if she knew why, would probably hate him for. He wished, intensely wished, he hadn’t met her, and fallen for her. And more so, he wished that she hadn’t started to see him as something special. Then again, it was so good between them, how could he not want this? How could he deny this?
“Sarah—”
“And despite your promiscuity, you are actually one of the best people I’ve ever known.”
He bit his lip in amusement. She was always hung up on that. “Despite my promiscuity?”
“Yes, despite that. It’s probably why you’re so good at sex.”
“Probably.”
He smiled. Her seconds ago sadness was gone from her voice. He should have doused her with alcohol a lot sooner. Who knew that’s all it took to pry open solemn Sarah? Who knew any of it? He had a feeling she was going to cringe and cower at herself in the morning. But for now he could enjoy this part.
“Your problem is that you’re into the obvious. Into girls who want nothing from you. Or for that matter nothing for you.”
“And you?” he asked gently. “You want things for me.”
She shook her head earnestly. “I do. I think you deserve more than Vanessa.”
“I knew she’d get in here somewhere. By the way, Sarah, I’ve looked at you on and off for ten years. You’re the one who never looked at
me
. Never saw me. So, you don’t know what you’re talking about there.”
“I suppose the reality of me is disappointing. Nothing like all those bimbos you have.”
“No. No, the reality of you is anything but disappointing. And I don’t have just any bimbo. I have you. Just you.”
“Just me?”
“Just you.”
She smiled as if testing the words. “I like the sound of that. Don’t you?”
“Maybe.”
“Oh, Scott, you have so much to offer.”
She said it so earnestly he bit his lip to keep the laugh in. He was, by then, at her apartment. He pulled in glancing around, seeing nothing out of the ordinary but a quiet, small town street, lit by streetlights and side lights off the buildings. Sarah got out and headed up the stairs, her steps exaggerated, and the uncharacteristic sloppiness in movement told Scott just why she was so chatty. The girl was nearly sloshed.