Secrets & Saris (21 page)

Desire burst like a supernova, jump-starting his flagging brain.

‘Jesus, Amber,’ he ground out, grabbing her wrist. Body throbbing, he narrowed his gaze. ‘Is this measurement even necessary?’

She gazed up at him, looking stunned. ‘You can never have too much information,’ she murmured.

‘Hell yeah, you can.’ His grip grew firmer around her wrist.

Case in point: her skin was warm, her pulse bounded beneath his fingers and her expression was nothing but honest—pure, unadulterated want innocently on display. Along with something else. He should have pushed her wrist as far from him as possible, but he was transfixed by the light in her eyes. As if he deserved much more than just sex.

And the crushing need to capture a little of that hope for himself, to briefly fill the black hole that had been surrounding his heart for years, was too much.

‘You win,’ he muttered, and he hauled her up by her wrist, gaze intent on her mouth.

* * *

Amber didn’t utter a word of protest as Parker pulled her body flush with his. Her wrist still clutched in his fingers, he tucked their arms behind his back until she was giving him a partial hug. But it wasn’t a real embrace, because his other hand hung loosely at his side.

Green eyes holding hers, his voice gruff, he said, ‘You know this is all you get, right?’

They were pressed together from chest to groin, and she was momentarily rendered speechless by his too-blunt words and the feel of his erection. The longing to be wrapped in his arms for real was intense. But he maintained his current posture, patiently waiting for a response, and he wasn’t going to continue until he was sure he’d made his point.

She’d never chased a man before, had never actively pursued what she wanted. And she
wanted
this.

With an intensity that was too great to be denied.

‘I understand,’ she said.

The tension radiating from him since she’d taken his measurement suddenly dissipated, and he lifted his free hand to her face, lowering his mouth to hers.

God,
it wasn’t fair.

He was strong and sure and oozed a confident sensuality as his lips slid over hers, as if trying to absorb something more than a simple kiss. Meanwhile she was quaking, literally
quaking
at the knees. She was a grown woman with plenty of experience under her belt. She’d been around several blocks along the way but, for some reason, this time the trip felt different.

Amber supposed it was only natural, as she’d waited for this moment since she was a preteen. Before she really even knew what, exactly, her body longed for....

She remembered the heat from innocent brushes of skin on skin as she’d accepted the crab he’d gently placed in her hand. She remembered her heart pounding from dreams too vague to recall, only that they’d contained
Parker.

And she remembered the mesmerizing mouth that had always triggered an anxious flutter in her stomach. Parker’s lips were now slicking across hers, wet and warm and working her mouth so deliciously she had to clutch his T-shirt, dizzy.

With a small movement, his tongue tested her bottom lip, and a needy catch escaped her throat as she opened her mouth wide. He finally relented and gave her what she wanted, his tongue against hers. The taste, the soft strokes that went on and on, sent her senses soaring. Twisting his T-shirt tighter, she fought to have her other arm freed from his grip.

‘Slow down, Ace,’ he murmured against her mouth.

Pleasure flared higher. As a kid, the nickname had always made her feel special in Parker’s eyes. She hadn’t been, she knew. But it was the way he said it, as if she were the only one on the planet that was important. And right now he was licking, kissing and nipping his way down her neck, leaving her feeling the same way.

Against the bounding pulse at her neck, he said, ‘There’s no hurry.’

Oh, but holy heaven,
there was.

Summers of innocent longing.
Years
of fantasies.

The mother lode of mental foreplay.

‘Please,’ she said, pulling against the fingers wrapped around her wrist.

He released her.

Instantly her fingers gripped the edge of his T-shirt and shoved, unceremoniously, up his torso. When he didn’t lift his arms fast enough, she abandoned her plan to take it off and dropped her mouth to his naked chest. He tasted of salt and smelled of leather, as if the essence of his jacket had fused with his skin. She pressed openmouthed kisses across his muscles, with the ridiculous thought that she could inhale this moment and keep it forever. Parker mumbled something she couldn’t understand, something about taking their time, but Amber ignored him. She nosed a nipple and then licked the nub until it was raised enough to scrape her teeth across.

He sucked in a breath. ‘Okay, okay.’

All thought came to a halt when his hands dropped to the T-shirt bunched just beneath his arms. Stunned, she watched the shifting of pectorals and bone and sinew as he shrugged out of the garment and tossed it aside. The strength in his shoulders, the easy play of muscle a beautiful, breathtaking sight.

Without hesitation, she spread her hands across the gorgeous display and pushed him back against the mirrored wall.

‘Jesus, Amber,’ he hissed.

Ignoring him, she stared at the light dusting of hair on his flat abdomen as she fumbled with his belt and the fastening of his jeans, finally pushing everything to the floor. The vision of lean hips, well-muscled thighs and a full erection left her breathless. Unable to continue.

And Parker finally seemed to grasp the urgency of their situation.

Hands and lips and teeth seemingly everywhere at once, he divested her of her clothing efficiently. When gone, she pressed her body to his, refusing to blush at the groan that ripped from her chest at the glorious feeling of,
finally,
skin on skin.

Parker swept a hand up her back and buried his fingers in her hair, his kiss raw. Mouth realigning this way and that as if to consume her from every angle. She lost track of time until the fingers in his other hand found their way between her thighs.

The visceral hit to her system left her pulling back from the kiss, gasping for air.

Lips parted, he breathed through his mouth—open hunger on his face as the fingers between her legs turned bolder. Until the desire grew so great tears pricked the backs of her lids.

Closing her eyes, she whispered, ‘Parker.’

Which came out more like a strangled sound of pleasure than an actual word.

As if inspired, Parker’s lips crashed back to hers. He pressed his hard shaft against the skin of her belly, as if seeking friction. The overpowering sensations were full of need. And want. And
need.
Amber could barely coordinate herself to return his kiss properly. Parker didn’t seem to care, rocking his hips and nipping and pulling at her mouth for all it was worth. When he withdrew his hands, her body clenched in disappointment. Until he bent to pull a condom from the wallet in his jeans, sheathing himself.

Amber’s mouth lost all moisture as she watched, transfixed, half terrified this was a dream and she’d wake up too soon.

Bracing his back against the mirror, Parker reached for Amber and lifted her up. Surprised, limbs clumsy, she didn’t follow the logic until he spoke.

‘Wrap your legs around my waist,’ he said.

Oh,
God,
yes.

Praying her muscles would cooperate, she complied, yet all she could manage was to hold on as he buried himself inside. Eyes wide, she froze, adjusting to the pleasurable pressure that threatened to send her flying apart. A threat that escalated when he gripped her hips and began to move in earnest, each time taking her a little deeper.

Heat swamped her senses, until she was no longer frozen. She wrapped her arms more firmly around his neck. Tightened her legs around his hips.

And threw herself into a carnal kiss, scraping her teeth lightly across his tongue.

The swearword that shot from Parker’s mouth into hers was explicit. He clutched her close, buried himself to the base of his shaft and then paused.

It felt
incredible.

Chests pressed together, heart thundering against his, Amber whimpered greedily and rolled her hips, seeking more friction.

‘Amber,’ he groaned as he slowly slid down the mirror until she was seated in his lap, his back against the wall.

Hands on her shoulders, blunt fingernails clutching her skin, he began to rock up into her. Friction, wonderful, glorious friction again. His movements slow and sure and hard.

‘I need...’ he mumbled, eyes closed.

His head drifted to hers.

Each hot press of his mouth was interspersed with a flick of his tongue against her lips, all in rhythm with his hips. As if he needed every part of her, everything, all at once. The pace didn’t increase, but the intensity did. Until starved, naked, needy noises began to spill from his mouth.

Nothing had ever been this ridiculously, spine-tingling delicious. The feeling of wholehearted—and, heaven help her—
reciprocated
want.

Digging her nails into his sweat-damp shoulders earned her a garbled reply.

‘I can’t—’ he slurred.

Greedy, Amber arched her back, fitting their hips closer together, taking more.

Wringing an incoherent response from Parker. ‘Ah, ’mgonna.’

With the garbled word of warning his movements grew too needy for finesse, hips bucking as if seeking fusion with every thrust. Too far gone for a coordinated kiss, their mouths pressed close, damp and hot as they breathed each other in. The feel of him slicking between her thighs, beneath her,
in
her, tightened the cord of pleasure, pulling harder. Until she was so taut she feared being stranded on the edge of this precipice forever.

Afraid she’d never take that beautiful fall.

But then he gripped her shoulders, arched and thrust hard, groaning as he shattered.

And the sound of her name on his lips as he came pushed her off the ledge. A fiery electric pleasure shot through her veins, and her orgasm burst, painting colorful fireworks behind closed lids.

With a mumbled ‘Parker,’ she collapsed against him, and let herself be swept away by the aftershocks.

* * *

The smell of leather and sex filled Amber’s nose as her breathing finally slowed enough for her to think straight. Bit by bit she became aware of the hard chest under her cheek, Parker’s pounding heart gradually recovering beneath. They’d managed to shuffle their way to the thick rug in front of the wrought-iron coffee table. Now, sweat-slick bodies cooling in the aftermath, she was draped across Parker, her palms resting on his shoulders.

His
hands, however, were resting by his sides.

Parker gripped her arms, gently shifting her off, and her chest cinched tight at the movement. ‘I should find my clothes,’ he said, his voice rough from exertion.

She briefly pressed her lids tight, knowing he was doing more than pulling away physically. He was pulling away mentally, too, and the memory of his words punched the breath from her throat.

You know this is all you get, right?

Pushing up on her elbows, she stared at Parker. The sex had been fantastic, and now his soft hair was spiked in all directions, delectably mussed by her fingers. His cheeks were flushed from the energy he’d expended. And he’d exerted a good deal of energy.

After they’d finished the first round, while Amber was still limp and essentially incapable of thought or movement, he had rolled them over onto the rug, pinning Amber beneath him. And started in on her again.

No one had ever made her feel so sensual.

No one had ever pulled so much pleasure from her body.

But he didn’t want more.

She watched him rub a hand down his face with a faint frown on his mouth, and a memory rose, unbidden, in her mind.

That last fateful summer she’d caught Susie and Parker making out, and while it was clear he knew exactly what he was doing, there was no emotion behind the act. As if he could have replaced Susie with either of the other two girls he was dating and been just as happy. And while, yes, horny teens were pretty much a given, from what Reese had said Parker hadn’t changed his ways much.

Random women, random relationships and nothing that lasted longer than a few months.

Amber’s gaze landed on his holster draped across the arm of the couch, an idea forming in her head. He wouldn’t like it. Heck, he might even wind up
hating
her for it. But getting the stubborn man to let someone in, even if it was his sister and not Amber, suddenly overwhelmed everything else—even her intense need to flee the presence of the man she’d so shamelessly seduced.

The one who seemed incapable of wanting more.

Chest tight, nerves taut, she reached for his holster, and when he reached for his pants...

She snapped the handcuffs around his wrist.

FIVE

The
click of
the cuff around his wrist snagged Parker’s immediate
attention.

Rolling onto his back again, he stared up at Amber. Her hair
was mussed, her lips bruisingly red from his kisses, and guilt pierced his
chest. So, yeah, things had gotten a little rough there toward the end. But he
was only so strong, and Amber’s frantic words and feverish hands had hacked away
at his control until he really shouldn’t be held responsible for what came
after.

The guilt stabbed harder, anyway.

‘Okay,’ he said, his voice like gravel as he dangled the
handcuffs in the air, his body twitching with interest. ‘I’m assuming you want
another round.’

The edgy smile, the blush that crept up her face and the way
she shifted her eyes to the left had him chuckling.

‘For the record, Ace—’ he stretched out his leg, resting on his
elbows ‘—any woman who goes for the handcuffs has no business being
nervous.’

She stared at him a moment more and it was as if she was
looking everywhere but at his groin. Which wasn’t the
only
part of his body that wholeheartedly approved of the addition
of restraints, but it was the only part that could communicate its consent.

And then Amber reached for his boxers.

Frowning, Parker simply watched as she hooked the underwear on
his feet, sliding them up his calves.

He lifted a brow. ‘FYI,’ he said, ‘the addition of handcuffs
usually means you’re taking the clothes off, not putting them back on.’

Ignoring him, she slid the boxers higher.

Now he was
really
curious.

‘Okay, I’ll bite,’ he rumbled. She met his gaze as he lifted
his hips to allow her to pull his underwear into place, and he sent her a smile.
‘You got a clothes-on fetish, right?’ The thought sent a thrill working its way
down his back, wrapping around his growing erection. ‘I can work with that.’

Now that he was covered, she scooted until she was resting
against the coffee table.

‘No fetish that I know of,’ she said. ‘I just can’t concentrate
when you’re so naked.’

She reached for the loose end of the handcuffs, looping it
through the ornate leg of the wrought-iron coffee table before clipping it
around his other wrist.

Totally intrigued now, he grinned at his helpless
position—which was really kinda
hot.

‘That’s one of the advantages of being naked,’ he said. ‘The
inability to focus on anything else.’

Gaze admiring all the creamy skin before him, he took in the
curve of her breasts and hips.

He shouldn’t encourage her. He shouldn’t be so weak. He
shouldn’t crave absorbing that mesmerizing light radiating from her expression.
From her eyes. Seemingly from her very skin.

But he needed just a little bit more.

Desire licked at his limbs and his voice reflected his
thoughts.

‘You just need additional practice,’ he said. ‘And I’m—’

She reached for her blouse and slid it back over her head, and
Parker stared, stunned. And while she had been rendered mute by the sight of him
naked, he had a similar problem with the vision of her putting her clothes
on.

When she picked up her underwear and pulled them into place, he
finally found his words.

‘What the hell are you doing?’ he asked.

She studied him for a moment, and Parker was briefly grateful
that the long expanse of her legs was available for admiring.

Amber said, ‘You clearly aren’t a man who likes to cuddle.’

The statement slammed into him. ‘Cuddle?’

So what if the word spit from his mouth with a vengeance. He
didn’t like the turn in the conversation.

‘And if there is anything that Parker Robinson needs,’ she went
on, eyeing him steadily, ‘it’s a good cuddle.’

Heart thumping in agitation, he was sure he made a ridiculous
sight, what with being handcuffed to a table leg and his mouth opening and
closing like a fish.

When he finally found his voice again, it was rough.
‘Amber—’

‘We’re going to talk, Parker.’

The swearword that echoed through his mind wasn’t fit to be
uttered out loud.

Scooting over to sit by his side, Amber’s eyes settled on his.
‘Why didn’t you answer the phone when your mother called the day your father
died?’

The one-two punch to his chest had his jaw falling open wider,
and then he slapped his lips shut, his mouth growing grim.

‘Damn it, Amber,’ he said, struggling to prop up on one elbow,
despite the restraints. ‘We’re not high school sweethearts.’ Frustrated he
couldn’t even plow a hand through his hair, he went on. ‘Let me up.’ Anxiety
pressed in on his chest, leaving it difficult to draw in a breath. ‘I don’t
want—’

She gently cupped his cheek, her thumb landing at the corner of
his mouth, and he froze, unable to do anything but blink like an idiot.

Looking up at her, he wanted to curse and rant and rail against
the understanding in her eyes and the bloody confinement of the cuffs. He
finally managed to pull off a sparse rattling of the chain between his
wrists.

Which, unfortunately, earned him a gentle swipe of her
fingertip along his lower lip. It was just a simple stroke, barely noticeable,
but the tenderness curled like a knot in his belly.

‘Why?’ she asked again.

He lobbed a hard look in her direction and didn’t spare the
truth. Sweet little Amber wanted to know, so sweet little Amber was going to
hear.

‘You were following me that day,’ he said. ‘You heard what she
said.’

Amber didn’t pretend she had no idea what he was talking
about.

Her gaze warm on his, she said, ‘I heard some of what your
mother said, yes.’

Unsure of which parts she’d missed, he gave her the full
version. ‘Marrying my father was a mistake.’ His next words came out louder than
he’d intended. ‘
I
was a mistake.’

Letting the words echo in the room, he forgot to breathe for a
moment.

‘I was just a symbol of everything my mother had done wrong,’
he said. ‘Of everything she regretted.’

None of it mattered.

The mantra had served him well in the past. He’d learned as a
kid it was best to exist on the surface and ignore or bury or compartmentalize
the rest. Because it was the rest that bit you in the ass.

Be polite to your mother, but don’t try to get her to show you
she cared. Hugs weren’t necessary, but an occasional expression of some sort of
affection would have been nice. He’d given up looking around the age of ten.

None of it mattered.

Or at least, that’s what he’d told himself.

Until the summer he was seventeen and he’d tried again. But the
years of being the rowdy boy who only got noticed when he got into trouble had
taken a toll. Maybe by then his mother couldn’t have cared, even if she’d wanted
to.

‘She hated my father’s job,’ he said. ‘Looked down on what he
did for a living.’

And Parker had
despised
her for
being such a snob.

‘Which was exactly why you followed in his footsteps,’ Amber
said as, still cradling his cheek, she stroked his lip again.

His mouth twisted beneath her finger. Man, she always was such
an observant little thing. Even as a too-sweet, freaky stalker of a kid.

‘Maybe in the beginning,’ he said, though he knew she was
absolutely right. Growing weary of his awkward posture, he laid down on his
side. ‘But now...’

Well, not
right
now. Cuz right now
everything was dull and flat and he got little enjoyment out of much of
anything. But there was a time when helping victims’ families find justice had
been incredibly satisfying.

‘You’ve always been good at taking care of people,’ she
said.

Barking out a laugh of disbelief, he tilted his head as he
stared up at her, amazed she was still cradling his face. Strangely, he was
starting to like the comforting feel of her palm.

‘Who did I take care of?’ he said.

‘Reese,’ she said. ‘When we were kids, anyway.’

She gazed down at him, like she had as a kid. The same light in
her eyes. He just didn’t get it. What did she see in him then? What did she see
in him now?

And then she went on. ‘And you took care of me....’

He couldn’t talk about how he’d felt that summer he left his
mother’s home and never went back. As a seventeen-year-old he’d been too cool to
admit he’d missed Reese’s and Amber’s company. As an adult it seemed too late to
confess the truth.

With a huff of humor, he said, ‘You’re just saying that because
I saved you from drowning.’

Finally dropping her hand from his face, she sent him a small
smile. And he didn’t miss her touch. Not at all. Damn it.

‘Your father loved you,’ she said, and he swallowed back the
groan.

Apparently, nothing in his history was sacred.

His dad hadn’t been the type to hug or tell you he cared with
his words. But he’d shown him in other ways.

‘But then he died,’ Parker said, and he hated the way the words
came out so harsh. So bitter. He tried to ease the mood with a small smile,
failing by a mile. ’Cuz life is mostly just a nasty little bitch who’s looking
to collect.’

Amber’s expression shifted into one of sadness and he hated
that he put that look on her face. The urge to take it back, to put a smile on
her mouth, was overwhelming. And then suddenly she was crawling over him and
sliding onto her side to lie next to him. Shocked, he didn’t move as she wiggled
her way up between his cuffed arms, settling against him as she embraced his
chest.

Staggered by the comforting contact, the press of b odies from
torso to toes, he took a moment to respond.

‘You know,’ he said dryly, ‘I don’t do the morning-after
thing.’

‘I’m not asking you to.’

‘And hugs don’t count if they’re not freely given.’

‘I know,’ she said as she gave him a gentle squeeze. ‘That’s
why I’m freely giving this one to you.’

Paralyzed, he didn’t know what to do with himself. Silence
stretched between them as they lazed on the floor, wrapped in each other’s arms.
His by force. Hers by choice

And it was really intimate in a way that sex usually wasn’t,
and wasn’t that just the kicker?

Something in Parker shifted. Just a little, but enough to voice
the thought he’d been having for weeks. ‘Plenty of people have it worse than
me,’ he said quietly.

He didn’t know why he needed to say the words. Other than the
fact that they were the brutal truth. And if there was anything he was
comfortable with, it was the brutal truth. Maybe it was the comfort of her arms
that seduced the words from his mouth.

‘Who?’ she asked. ‘Who has it worse?’

He didn’t want to look into her eyes, so he stared up at the
chandelier on the ceiling. ‘I’m working on this case,’ he said. The dark cloud
encasing his heart grew thicker, denser. Something he hadn’t thought possible
since the day his dad had died.

An acid rain just waiting to break.

‘Our current suspect is just a stupid seventeen-year-old,’ he
said. ‘And his parents...’

He didn’t want to repeat the words they’d said about their
son.

‘You know,’ he said instead, his voice hoarse. ‘Family should
stick by you, no matter what.’

Man, now the woman had both hands on his cheeks.

Turning his head to face hers, her gaze clear, she said, ‘Yes,
they should.’

Staring into her amber eyes, he clenched his jaw.

The case had been eating at him for a while, draining what
little color remained in his already-mucked-up life. He refused to lean into the
warmth of Amber’s palms, but the urge was there. He remembered the stricken look
on her face when she’d overheard his mom that day, and the comforting hand Amber
lay on his shoulder later.

Not that he’d wanted her sympathy. No, he’d hated the caring in
her touch, the gesture of concern from a twelve-year-old when he couldn’t even
get that kind of emotion from his own mother.

Something in him had died that day, something vital that he’d
lost. And damned if he knew how to get it back. He was pretty sure he didn’t
even
want
it back.

Blocking Amber’s beautiful gaze, Parker closed his eyes and
concentrated on keeping his breathing even. She held his face, and her sweet
scent surrounded him, the silky legs entwined with his. But it was the warmth of
her body that captivated him the most. Surprisingly, he wasn’t really thinking
of her skin in a sexual sense, but more of the gentle give-and-take of shared
heat. It was refreshingly simple. And kind of nice.

Like a handful of summer sun on a dark winter’s day.

But the unfamiliar feeling of comfort, of
contentment—of...
happiness?
—scared the bejesus
out of him.

Parker didn’t know how much time passed as he grappled with the
dueling urges to push her away or pull her closer. Maybe he should do something
more productive, like bang his head against the nearest wall.

‘You’re right, family should stick by you,’ she said, and he
lifted his lids. ‘No matter what.’ Amber raised her chin to look up into his
face, her eyes warming him in ways he’d never imagined. ‘Which is why you should
come to your mother’s dinner party,’ she went on, and Parker didn’t bother
suppressing the groan.

Christamighty,
not this again.

‘To support Reese,’ she went on.

Without warning, she slid down from between his arms, and he
instantly missed the feeling of warmth.

That tiny bit of...security, for lack of a better word.

‘You should go to the party, Parker,’ she said again.

After sitting up, she slipped on her jeans. Her shoes came
next, and he absolutely did not panic that she was dressing to leave. Because
that would be a stupid thing to do.

‘Why?’ he asked.